THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY

"And I love the audience. And the audience loves me for loving them. And I love the audience for loving me. And we just love each other. And that's because none of us got enough love in our childhood. And that's show-biz, kid!"
-Roxie Hart, Chicago (Bob Fosse, Fred Ebb)

The Narcissistic Personality - A pervasive self-centeredness - an all-encompassing grandiosity about themselves, their achievements, and their place in life. Along with this exalted self-centered behavior, there is also a discernible lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement that blinds them to all needs except their own. Beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.

Three Films That Got It Right...
SUNSET BLVD. - Speeding down Sunset Blvd., a destitute writer of B movies, Joe Gillis, escapes the Repo men by coasting into the garage of, "…a great big white elephant of a place, the kind crazy movie people built in the crazy 20's." Living inside is the tarnished Norma Desmond, the fallen goddess of silent films. Norma surrounds herself with her past glory - there are the faded publicity shots in gilt frames and an obsequious manservant, Max, who keeps her supplied with fresh batches of fan mail daily. Joe Gillis is soon entrapped in helping her make her return to her adoring public. Norma requires help in writing Salome, an ill-chosen vehicle she has created for the occasion of her return. Broke, Joe takes the job but soon finds that Norma's vanity, her ego - her need for unadulterated admiration is unquenchable. She wants him for an ornament - a fresh font of praise - and will not tolerate the slightest divergence of his attention. He must kowtow to her, enduring her private theatricals and endless screenings of her once great movies.
DOLORES CLAIBORNE - In Bangor, Maine, there is another Joe, Joe St. George. He is the husband of Dolores Claiborne. He is also the abusive father of their daughter, Selena. He will tolerate little from his long-suffering wife. Neither mockery nor affection is acceptable. When Dolores giggles at his split pants, he rewards her with a piece of timber across the back of her thighs. Joe mocks her attempts at reconciliation by berating her, telling her he never would have married her had he not been so drunk that he hadn't realized how ugly she was. For Selena, though, he has nothing but praise. He showers her with gifts and favors. The affection he bestows is not only parental, but sexual as well. He views her as an object of his own gratification and diversion.
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? - A little east of Norma Desmond's mansion lives another early film star. Comparatively speaking, this one has not fared quite as well as Norma. This is the former child star Baby Jane Hudson of the film that asks and answers the question, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? As a little girl, Baby Jane was self-centered, demanding, and obnoxious. She not only got away with this behavior; she was rewarded for it. Baby Jane was, "The Diminutive Dancing Duse from Duluth." In the sphere of her childhood - her parents, her handlers, her sister Blanche - everyone catered to her selfish whims because, warts and all, she was the primary breadwinner. Times change, people grow and die, but Baby Jane tenaciously held on to the infantile world of which she was the center. Her appeal ended at puberty, when something besides childish curls was necessary to sway the public. Her sister, Blanche, much to Jane's dismay, went on to greater and more enduring fame. Baby Jane's deteriorating world becomes more and more diffuse, clouded in gin fumes and nostalgia. She becomes enraged at the pre-eminence of Blanche and the erosion of her own inability to remain daddy's special girl.
Narcissistic personalities are characterized as having a pervasive self-centeredness, an all-encompassing grandiosity about themselves, their achievements, and their place in life. Along with this exalted self-centered behavior, there is also a discernible lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement that blinds them to all needs except their own. As Joe Gillis (Sunset Blvd.) remarks early on about the once famous silent screen star he has encountered: "She was still sleepwalking along the giddy heights of her lost career, playing craps when it came to that one subject, her celluloid self, the great Norma Desmond."

Poor Joe Gillis did not know how right he was when he referred to the builders of those Sunset Boulevard palaces as "crazy movie people.” Most assuredly Billy Wilder, Charles Brackett, and D. M. Marshman Jr. (the writers of Sunset Blvd.) knew all too well and had little difficulty calling a spade a spade. The movie making business is overrun with Narcissistic Personalities. Some of them even managed to wind up on the screen. Smart writers, honoring the tenant "write what you know,” found an arsenal of Narcissistic characters and stories in their own backyard. Not surprisingly, it is there, deep within the heart of the creature named show business, that some of the best examples can be found.

The most profound collection would appear to fall at the feet of the acting community. Bigger than life actors playing bigger than life actors is a tried and true formula. Inflicting havoc on the lives of others are, from the top: Anne Baxter in All About Eve, Olivier's The Entertainer, Albert Finney in The Dresser, Richard E. Grant as the self-absorbed Withnail of Withnail & I, the aggressive film debut of Kim Stanley in The Goddess. No need to stop there. Add to the list: Gypsy, Noises Off, Purple Rose of Cairo, Stardust Memories, Day for Night, Sweet Bird of Youth, 8 1/2. In all fairness, actors alone do not shoulder the burden of characters we love to hate. Within show business, storytellers have taken deadly aim at directors-All That Jazz, The Stunt Man, Ed Wood, White Hunter, Black Heart; producers-On The Twentieth Century, The Producers, Barton Fink; and news journalists-Network, Broadcast News, Citizen Kane. Sometimes the entire entertainment profession is held up, scrutinized, and taken to task-the Hollywood Hell of Play It As It Lays, The Big Picture, Day of the Locust, S.O.B. One of the best Narcissistic displays is seen in Robert Altman and Michael Tolkin's sharply clever black comedy, The Player. It offers the story of a studio executive more capable of murder than of making a movie. Tim Robbins as the cold-hearted Griffin Mill is threatened by a writer that he promised to call back and never did. They don't get much better.

The Narcissist is found everywhere-from great leaders (Lawrence of Arabia) to great killers (Basic Instinct). They are delightfully innocent (Breakfast at Tiffany’s) and they are wonderfully corrupt (The Manchurian Candidate). We have them famous (Becket) and we have them impotent (sex, lies, and videotape). The pattern revealed shows a high concentration on dark dramas and thrillers. Comparatively, the canon of comedies is short and, at best, populated by black comedies.

The reason: Narcissism is not funny. With few exceptions, the story of the Narcissist is that of an arrogant, haughty, unsympathetic, and exploitative individual-not the most desirable type to bring home to mother (let alone find oneself trying to cheer for up on the silver screen). To make matters worse, rarely can Narcissists be counted on to redeem themselves by the Third Act. This is a less than desirable fate for a leading character. Villains, yes. Heroes, no. Not only is the Narcissistic Personality hard to stomach in a leading role, but there have been those occasions in which the actor in the role has found the character hard to live with. In 1960, Billy Wilder released The Apartment, a film in which he offered a few choice opinions about morality. Having had his way with Hollywood (Sunset Blvd.), he now had something to say about businessmen. Fred MacMurray plays the exploitative, self-centered boss, J. D. Sheldrake. Although the film was critically acclaimed, public response was extremely negative to seeing the much-adored MacMurray playing a disreputable, narcissistic white-collar thug. The mail he received so upset the actor that from that film on he would be very careful to accept roles in which the characters’ moral credibility would never be questioned. MacMurray would become synonymous with Disney, as well as television’s lovable widowed father of three sons.

The term "narcissism" is derived from Narcissus, a character from Greek mythology. As the myth has it, Narcissus saw his own reflection mirrored in a lake and fell in love with it. He was so enamored with the visage of himself and preoccupied with the contemplation of his own beauty that he eventually starved to death. As could only happen in the worlds of mythology or movies, Narcissus turned into a flower. His soul was sent to the underworld, where it still primps at its own image reflected in the river Styx.

Because the two share many of the same attributes, the Narcissistic Personality at times will approximate the Histrionic Personality. In both the Narcissist and the Histrionic, common traits to be found include excessive emotionality, excessive attention getting, egocentrism, and manipulation in relationships. An important difference is that Narcissists will usually exhibit a high level of arrogance as well as the inability to see fault in their actions. This is something generally not found in Histrionics, who customarily not only see fault, but are quick to lay blame at their own feet. The Narcissist's emotional ups and downs tend not to be as wildly erratic as those of the Histrionic. The Histrionic Personality will most likely behave dramatically and seductively. Narcissists by comparison are often sternly grandiose and selfish-almost in a hostile way. A simple (though certainly not scientific) rule of thumb in distinguishing the Narcissistic from the Histrionic is the "Me Factor."

Consider the following:
Is the character consciously arrogant or overtly caught up in orchestrating behavior and events to meet their own needs? (More likely Narcissistic)

Do the character's emotions appear to run all over the map-do they appear more emotionally responsive in a situation, as opposed to a response that seems intended or designed? (More likely Histrionic)

Also apparent quite often is the tell-all factor of love. Histrionics commonly responds out of a desire to have love in their lives. The Narcissist, on the other hand, may harbor an idealized notion of being in love, but rarely actually knows how to love. Ultimately, the line separating the two psychological personalities is crossed and blurred. It may all come down to an issue of what is being created-a comedy or drama. When these characteristic traits are successfully displayed in a comedy, intent and forethought of character seem of marginal importance next to the demands of the high octane, plot-driven fuel required of comedies. Therefore, in comedy, characters tend to be Histrionic. When this intermixing of personalities is involved in a drama, usually foul play is afoot, and the character becomes the love-to-hate Narcissistic.

Like Narcissus, Narcissistic Personalities often are absorbed and consumed by their own perfection and harbor a tremendous need to keep their self-image full blown and intact. They will protect this self-image with all the means at their disposal. Typically, Narcissists are guided by their own self-importance. Norma Desmond promises to "return to the millions of people who've never forgiven me for deserting the screen." Baby Jane Hudson reprimands her parents: "I make the money so I can have what I want!" They crave attention and admiration: "Why do they still write me fan letters every day? Why do they beg me for photographs? Why? Because they want to see me! Me! Norma Desmond!" Their egos are bottomless pits. It is not unusual for them to exaggerate their achievements or talents. Eve Harrington, the devoted fan/aspiring actress/ruthless predator of the perfectly titled All About Eve, lies about her past so the star of Broadway, Margo Channing, will welcome her warmly and sympathetically. Breakfast at Tiffany’s is (despite Hollywood's considerable and talented efforts to soft focus it otherwise) the story of a hooker and a hustler, albeit they are made handsome in the guise of heavenly Audrey Hepburn and hunky George Peppard. Fashionable to a fault, they dash about with urban madcap flare in their best Edith Head stitchery (in truth, Hepburn runs around in Givenchy, but that is another Hollywood story). Despite the dreamy, movie magazine looks, the fact remains they are prostitutes of a sort that recreate themselves in larger-than-life false self-images. Based on (but not nearly as wonderfully cruel as) Truman Capote's novella of the same name, Breakfast at Tiffany’s tells the tale of an ambitious-if-innocent young woman, Holly Golightly (Hepburn), who, in glorious Eliza Doolittle fashion, remakes herself. At a party, Holly’s agent (a modern day Professor Higgins) pulls aside her newfound friend and neighbor, the handsome-but-kept man, Paul Varjak. He asks him if he thinks Holly might be a phony. Before Paul can debate the question, he has his answer from the agent: "She's a real phony. She honestly believes all this phony junk she believes."

White Hunter, Black Heart is the thinly veiled true-life story of the on-location filming of John Huston's classic, The African Queen. Clint Eastwood portrays the Huston character (here John Wilson). Wilson is an obsessed, demanding, strong-willed, cold-hearted director whose exploitative nature demands his wishes before any others. The film retells an actual real life occurrence in which Huston placed the entire film shoot on hold in Africa while he went elephant hunting. Unmitigated grandiosity is a common key to the Narcissistic Personality. Granted, in the Huston/Wilson case, the self-importance was as true and palpable as the talent. More often than not, Narcissists routinely overestimate their abilities and accomplishments and often seem boastful and pretentious. Norma expects famous movie director DeMille to jump at the chance to make her movie: "I'm not just selling the script, I'm selling me." If their magnificence isn't apparent to others, they will not hesitate to make it clear. Baby Jane, ruminating on the life of being a big star, tells her accompanist, Edwin, "You can never lose your talent . . . you can lose everything else, but you can never lose your talent." Left-wing Broadway scribe, Barton Fink (of Ethan and Joel Coen's Barton Fink), makes a deal with the devil and attempts to sell out to Hollywood. He says he is interested in hearing and writing the stories of the common man, but when those stories are being offered to him, he is deaf to them because he is too busy postulating about being a poet. Worse yet, at a USO canteen, this same Barton Fink goes off on a young sailor who, shipping out the next day, wants to cut in on his dance. As though armed with special rights in the world granted to him by his supposed talent, he screams at the innocent Yank, "I am a writer!" His lack of humility and presumption of status lands a hard fist on his chin soon thereafter. The point here: Narcissists’ primary belief is that they are superior (or, at the very least, unique) and primary beliefs should be universal. On the surface the Narcissist may seem bold, self-assured, directed. Repeatedly they are. They are intensely focused on their own advancement and standing and, as such, they can be very successful professionally and personally.

Narcissists often will be seen seeking to excel in their work in order to receive the praise and admiration of others. They achieve their goals because their goals are their own self-aggrandizement-something in which they single-mindedly invest their time and energy. For the Narcissist, there is no room in the spotlight for others. Norma lives in a multi-room mansion full of pictures, and there isn't a picture of anyone else except her. In the Hudson household, Blanche finds photos of herself, but Baby Jane has mutilated all the faces. The Narcissistic Personality does an excellent job establishing the image of perfectionist, someone incapable of making a mistake. They are so driven by the obsession for admiration that they seem restless, eager, overachieving-classic workaholics. Hard work does not frighten them and they are fiercely ambitious. If the payoff means attaining a sense of perfection or stardom, nothing can stop them . . . nothing perhaps, but themselves, which often for storytellers provides their all important, pivotal Third Act. Favorite Narcissists undone by themselves: The Grifters, Becket, The Goddess, and Dangerous Liaisons.

Narcissists may foster unwarranted feelings of entitlement. Often they have unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations-a sense that the world owes them and they are not going to forfeit the debt. Rarely would they believe it their lot to struggle or work for their achievements. The rest of the world should recognize (as they recognize) how wonderful and valuable they are simply because of their mere existence. Not only should the world bow down to their needs, they should also feel free to shower them with a constant stream of admiration . . . excessive admiration.

The film Becket tells the story of two friends: Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, and Henry II, King of England. Becket is described by the Vatican as "obviously an abyss of ambition." His own Gwendolyn professes, "You've not found anything in the world to care for." This before she stabs herself to death rather than be handed off to the King's bed as proof of Becket's loyalty. Becket himself admits candidly, "Humility is a virtue I've never really mastered." King Henry II, meanwhile, refers to himself publicly: "I'm so subtle. I'm so profound." People of lesser standing are refereed to as "it.”

Ultimately, King Henry proves himself willing to give up the crown of England to a son he despises simply to get back at Becket: "You love God more than me." Quite a pair they are . . . and rather frightful that the fate of a nation was bundled up in their psychological baggage. Both characters are enveloped in a shroud of narcissistic tendencies. Although the story of Becket essentially is about the separation of church and state, it also is about the all too real affairs of narcissistic wrath when pitted against one of their own. The King wants the one thing he will never have: the love (read: submission) of Becket. Becket, awarded all the prominence and prestige the King can possibly bestow upon him in a vain attempt to win that love, finds himself indulging in the worst vice imaginable of all superstars: he believes his own press. The screenplay by Edward Anhalt (adapted from the play by Jean Anouilh and honored with an Oscar) would appear to make it all very clear that Becket is much more interested in being in the league of God, rather than being a servant to him.

This is a fascinating take on the Narcissist's desire to be in love while not possessing the ability to actually love. For King Henry II, Anhalt and Anouilh have less pity. This Henry is nothing less than a nasty, spoiled, infuriating child, throwing temper tantrums that shudder a nation. People kill themselves and institutions crumble, all in the name of his fitful desire to have what he wants from Becket.

Envy is high on Narcissists’ experience list. They envy greatly the accomplishments of others (which frequently they feel should be theirs). They also feel that others envy them (as the Narcissist feels they rightly should). This sense of entitlement often manifests in supreme arrogance and haughtiness. They patronize those around them because all others are inferior. Sometimes it can prove to be much crueler. Baby Jane is driven to distraction by all the attention being focused on sister Blanche. It is attention that she feels was stolen away from her. "Miss Rotten Stinking Actress!" she rants. "Ring a bell and you think the whole damn world comes running!" She acts out on her rage by serving Blanche her pet bird on a bed of sliced tomatoes for lunch.

Important in creating Narcissistic characters is remembering they have little or no capacity for empathy. They are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings of others. It is unlikely they will comprehend or recognize (let alone soothe) others’ emotions. All the concerns of others-the accomplishments, desires, and needs of others-are totally dwarfed by the grandeur of their own experiences. Max, Norma Desmond's erstwhile servant, suffers pain and humiliation because Norma does not consider his feelings in passing. Despite the fact that he was her first husband, as well as the man who discovered her, she keeps him subservient. She treats him with less respect and affection than she does her dead monkey. Norma flaunts her pathetic infatuation for Joe Gillis right under Max's nose.

For Narcissists, their interpersonal relationships are largely marked by exploitation. They take advantage of others to achieve their own ends. John Huston gives a shivering performance as the incestuous land baron Noah Cross in the Robert Towne/Roman Polanski production, Chinatown. Cross is a narcissistic monster. He has raped the land and his daughter and triumphantly has his eyes set on using his granddaughter for his own foul needs-all this done with the utmost sense of righteousness. Simon Gray's film adaptation of his stage play, Butley, presents a man (an English scholar and authority on T. S. Eliot) who must face the greatest truth of his life, a truth he has no desire look in the eye: the emotional reciprocity of others. Butley (Alan Bates, in a stellar recreation of his stage performance) has spent his life in the pursuit and retreat of those around him by attacking and exploiting their weaknesses. Spending his days in psychological warfare, he battles with sarcasm, wit, contempt, insults, and (to say the least) a fair amount of booze. Faced with the news that both his wife and his closest friend are leaving him (not together, but for different men), Butley is forced to confront the unsavory nature of his psyche.

When two Narcissistic Personalities are pitted against one another for the purposes of exploitation, the results can be as fun to watch as they are dangerous to encounter. Along with Becket there is also a pristine example in the extraordinary play-turned-film, Dangerous Liaisons. Glenn Close plays the de Merteuil in a brilliantly written (Academy Award winner Christopher Hampton) and beautifully rendered portrayal of sexual power, deceit, and vengeance. Merteuil, along with the Vicomte de Valmont (John Malkovich), is the chief architect of an amoral game of seduction and conquest. The two former lovers plot and exploit to the breaking point. Forced to turn on one another, they declare an all-out narcissistic war. All three (Chinatown, Butley, and Dangerous Liaisons) examine central characters exploiting and manipulating the world around them for their own ends. These pervasive feelings of entitlement, combined with their inherent lack of sensitivity toward others, is the basis for the rules by which Narcissists live:

Anything is permissible-exploitation, manipulation, lying-for the greater admiration, by themselves and others, of their being.

All other considerations are waylaid. The Narcissist simply feels entitled.

Along with the lack of empathy, important to note in the writing and portrayal of Narcissistic characters and their use of exploitation is the complete lack of guilt or concern for over exploitative manner. What rings frightfully true about characters such as Joe St. George in Dolores Claiborne and Noah Cross in Chinatown is their remorseless behavior for the sexual abuse they hurl upon their own daughters. A character deep in the neurosis of narcissism would be unable to subjectively reason their behavior, because they see it as just and right. They experience no guilt.

The opposite end of the spectrum is much the same. If they bestow affection, it is merely because that is the most expedient method to manipulate others to provide for their needs. Baby Jane is a little cool on Edwin Flagg (her accompanist) until she realizes that she needs him for her comeback. Joe St. George gives Selena his mother's locket and takes her on boat rides. The goal of his generosity is to get Selena alone so that he might coerce her into some petting. Narcissists will commonly use sex to advance their careers and marry to enhance their social status. They have even been known to possibly adopt children for the invaluable photo op that they provide. The character called "Joan Crawford" in the movie Mommie Dearest parades around her newly adopted daughter as she might her newest gown by Adrian, using the child as a means to change her hardened image and revive her sagging career. Her intent: sway public opinion to see her not as tough and ruthless but as the embodiment of motherhood. She needs the good press and goodwill being a parent will generate.

Narcissistic characters rarely have the ability to love, though they are nearly always consumed by the idea of being loved. Though Narcissists’ need of others is deep, their love for others is shallow or, more commonly, non-existent. Eighteen years after The Goddess, author Paddy Chayefsky returned to the Narcissistic Personality with a vengeance. His effort was called Network, and it delivered to Faye Dunaway (Diana Cristenson) not only one of the great Narcissistic characters an actor could hope to play, but also one of the five Academy Awards deservedly handed the Sidney Lumet film. Diana desperately wants to be in love. The trouble is, she has not a clue of where to look in herself to find the source of those feelings. When her lover speaks to her of love, she looks as if he has just spoken in a foreign tongue. A high powered programming executive, Diana is cold and calculated, obsessed with making it big in corporate television. She not only admits her willingness to use sex to get where she wants to go, but when she has sex, instead of cries and moans of corporeal ecstasy, she shouts out market shares and strategies for the ratings war. Blinded by her ambition, Diana is unable to accept the love offered by Max Schumacher (William Holden), a man who-for a chance at love with Diana-has walked out on his wife of thirty-some years. When she proves herself not up to the task of being in love, Max (with a few parting words) walks out on her: "You are television incarnate. Indifferent, suffering, insensitive to joy. All of life is reduced to the common ruble of banality. You're madness, Diana."

Not surprisingly, Narcissists experience tremendous difficulty in establishing or maintaining healthy intimate relationships. There is no reciprocation. Anyone in the Narcissist's sphere is there only to be exploited for the greater advantage of the Narcissist. Commitment is extremely difficult for Narcissists because doing so would symbolize vulnerability, and vulnerability would activate underlying fears of inadequacy. Commitment would also require a shift in attention from the self and steal from their life-preserving self-absorption.

Narcissists often appear to be very creative and talented. In truth, creative talent is usually greatly underdeveloped in the Narcissist because so much time and energy is expended on feeding their impulses. Archie Rice (The Entertainer) is a financially and emotionally bankrupt song-and-dance man. Living in the shadow of his father's class and style, he rages in frustration over his own mediocrity, unable to rise above it because of his own vain musings. Baby Jane cannot surrender her self-image as the adorable moppet, despite it having grown stale a half a century before. She still practices the same puerile songs in front of the mirror. She still fills the living room with life-size Baby Jane dolls. Norma Desmond's world is a hermetically sealed cocoon of self-indulgence, a shrine to herself and her glory. "How could she breathe in that house," wonders Joe Gillis in the voice-over, "so crowded with Norma Desmonds? More Norma Desmonds and still more Norma Desmonds." The pool of ancient Greece is replaced by the silver screen. Norma could starve watching herself in her own movie theater. To ensure it, she surrounds herself with toadies who not only will adore her but also protect her from any harsh reality that may dwell in the outside world. Forever faithful, Max writes all of the fan mail and will kill before he sees his goddess unmasked. Her legend is to be preserved and he will go to any lengths to prevent its erosion.

Narcissists will surround themselves with the trappings that enhance them, and they will struggle to maintain that environment. Such an environment includes the "right" people-people who will not threaten the fragile narcissistic ego. This circle is important but has little value other than adornment. Narcissists also have a propensity for procuring the flashiest car, the latest fashions, the largest house. They will become obsessive about having the best and being the most successful. Or, they may do exactly the opposite. They may portray themselves as victims, always in turmoil, fighting money problems. They do this to maintain center stage; their victimization assures them of their spotlight. Narcissists behave in these contrasting modes in order to validate their self-importance to themselves and (in their eyes) garner the admiration and attention of others. Mining some of the same territory he would later reap the rewards for in Network, Paddy Chayefsky in The Goddess gives us a vitriolic sermon about the American dream of stardom and the unloved (and unlovable) caught in the glare of Hollywood's headlights. Emily Ann Faulkner (Kim Stanley) is the poor Southern girl, unwanted from birth by her mother and the dirty joke amongst the boys in high school. She marries one man to get out of her small town hell and into the fire of Hollywood. Like her mother, she casts aside a baby girl she does not want because it will only get in her way. After climbing her way to the top through a succession of producers, directors, and a famous prizefighter second husband, Emily (now Rita) sustains herself in fancy houses, automobiles, designer clothes, child-like tantrums, and emotional breakdowns that delay films and cause them to run over budget. She behaves so because it is the only course she knows. Her reason for doing so illuminates the only true desire in her life: she yearns for the love of her mother. It is a commodity she never attains and ultimately is left to rail against in rupturing agony at her mother's open grave.

The perfectionist tendencies of the Narcissistic Personality means that they can be extremely demanding of others. Norma drives Joe Gillis well into the night with his rewriting of her screenplay for Salome. Norma, never flagging herself, sits alert and coiled like a watch spring, though Joe can barely retain consciousness. John Frankenheimer's 1962 masterpiece, The Manchurian Candidate, presents a jaw-dropping portrayal of narcissistic evil in Angela Landsbury's highly acclaimed performance as "Raymond Shaw's Mother"-a character so despicable she’s not given a name. This domineering, self-absorbed, exploitative creature not only runs roughshod over her skittish war vet son, but is the puppet master of her second husband, a poor boob of a politician and candidate for the Oval Office who must be told exactly what to do and say. She is a Right Wing nightmare, orchestrating the campaign smears of her husband’s opponents, plotting an assassination, and seducing her son to do her bidding with a full mouth kiss on the lips. Nice to know the two political parties have always felt the same about each other. Nothing, however, can prepare the viewer for the revelations of what she is actually up to in the Third Act.

This is both an important and a fun characteristic for storytelling. A failure to procure the admiration of others (or to procure enough of it)-called narcissistic injury-can result in narcissistic rage. This is an explosive anger not unlike that of a child denied something he believes is rightfully his. The child sees the parent as the source of their shameful feelings of inferiority, so the child must destroy what threatens it. Becket (as does Shakespeare's Othello) engages an undercurrent of sexual tension between two friends that uses this narcissistic injury-or rage-to drive the main dramatic engine of the story. Becket and King Henry II, Othello and Iago-stories that deliver narcissistic, arrogant men filled with jealousy and rage at not being loved.

Narcissistic characters are prone to quick anger, not only as a result of narcissistic injury, but also because it reinforces their superiority. Baby Jane explodes in rage throughout the film at the slightest word, no matter how innocuous, from Blanche. She also establishes her control and superiority by mocking all of Blanche's attempts to wrest compassion. The alternative-owning up to one's faults and limits and therefore succumbing to depression-would deflate the self-image . . . and that is something that must be avoided at all costs. When Joe leaves Norma, abandonment becomes something she cannot endure: "Shout at me! Strike me! But don't hate me, Joe! Say you don't hate me!" She tries to make him rage because that is something she can understand . . . something that she has created and can control.

When creating a Narcissistic Personality, remember that change often only occurs in life threatening situations. Yet even in such dire conditions, real change rarely occurs. Conditions must be extreme before Narcissists will abandon their self-centered beliefs. Without change, rarely is the outcome good (in fact, it’s a safe bet to place your money on “doomed”). Narcissus starved to death, after all, because he would rather admire himself than tend to his corporeal needs. Both Norma Desmond and Baby Jane Hudson go off their respective deep ends. Joe St. Joe goes down a deep hole. Joe Gideon (All That Jazz) kills himself with pills and booze and smoke. Mishima kills himself the old-fashioned way: a planned, public ritualistic suicide-being disemboweled while being beheaded. Noah Cross (Chinatown) brings about the police killing of his daughter (and the mother of his child). The Marquise de Merteuil (Dangerous Liaisons) is publicly humiliated and rendered a social pariah. Raymond's Mother (The Manchurian Candidate) is shot dead by her son. Othello (Othello) strangles his Desdemona. Becket (Becket) martyrs himself on assassins’ swords. His own men do in Captain Bligh (Mutiny on the Bounty). Col. Kurtz (Apocalypse Now) goes stark raving mad. Roy Dillon, Myra Langtry, and Lily (The Grifters) viciously do one another in. It’s never pretty.

In developing the Narcissistic Personality it is important to consider the parental history. A highly critical family environment dominated by extremely demanding parents generally marks the childhood of the Narcissistic character. In such a family the child's primary function is to enhance the mother's or father's self-esteem: the child as accessory (Mommie Dearest, Gypsy); the child as proof of the excellence of the parent for producing it. When the child in such a family fails to live up to such stringent parental expectations (which are inevitable), the child will be the target of criticism, either direct or indirect, and suffer rejection. The damage occurs during the child's formative years, a time when nurturing and the discovery and fostering of a functional personality are crucial. King Henry II (Becket) demeans, criticizes, and physically abuses his children in much the same way as he was by his father. The Narcissist begets the Narcissist. Sometimes you see a variation on this. Baby Jane's childhood is a textbook scenario. She is well aware of her role as the breadwinner in the family, and she never hesitates to remind everyone of this. The role reversal of parent and child is evident when she chastises her parents for not immediately succumbing to her whim for ice cream. She is a father's stage dream incarnate. She sings to him, about him, and with him. He, starry eyed, is more than happy to use her as an extension of his own ambitions, and he jumps at the chance to join her on stage as her dancing partner. Baby Jane's mother, in turn, is taciturn, withdrawn, a woman who does not speak, smile, or venture a hand in her child's upbringing. Baby Jane is denied nothing and, thus, she develops without forming any of the barriers that entail restraint.

The Narcissist's mother often is emotionally cold and exploitative and tends to disregard her child's need for individuality. Instead of providing the child a healthy role model, she instead wants to use the child as a mirror. She molds the child to meet her own needs instead of guiding the child through its own growth. The emotional relationship is in effect reversed, the child providing the nurturing for the needy parent. Unfortunately, this is confusing to identity and to the formation of the child's nascent psyche. The child grows up frustrated and unable to develop in a positive direction. They are likely to strive in vain for perfection in himself, seeking to be an adequate mirror for a rejecting mother/father in order to gain her/his approval-approval that was withheld during the most crucial period of his early life. Emily Ann Faulkner (The Goddess) is motivated throughout her life-from scholastic achievement as a young schoolgirl to Hollywood stardom-by sole end of winning her mother's approval and love, something that was lost to Emily at a very early age. Such children typically grow up with identity confusion as well as with ingrained feelings of shame, emptiness, and inferiority. As a defense against these unpleasant emotions, the child often will exhibit their opposites. They may act contemptuously of others, self-righteous, proud, vain, and superior.

Freud suggested that the parents' selfless adoration of their child creates distortions in the child's self-perception. As children they grow doing as they are told, believing that they are wonderful and brilliant. As these parental distortions continue over the years, the child internalizes them and will develop an exaggerated sense of self-worth. Such children will become grandiose and insufferable. In many cases, the parents are merely trying to resolve their own disappointments in life by centering all of their attention and adulation on their children. They want their child to have it all and not to be subjected to the harsh realities of the same cold, hard life that made them so miserable. The pampered "Baby Princess" (Baby Jane) grows up to be the despotic "Her Majesty" (geriatric Baby Jane). Such a Narcissistic adult is little more than a child-one who is totally astonished when he does not receive the adoration and entitlement he feels is his due. Never forget Norma Desmond's immortal words, insisting, when the subject of her fallen star is broached: "I'm still big! It's pictures that have gotten small!"

The arc of Norma Desmond in Sunset Blvd. is not necessarily the arc of the onset of the personality style. "Yesterday's glamour queen" is well past her narcissistic prime when we meet her. Her development has been arrested, her narcissism crystallized. In order not to grow old, she arcs toward psychosis and delusion.

We first meet Norma when Joe Gillis meets her. Like Joe, we find an aging, wealthy crowned head of Hollywood's silent era hermetically sealed in a shrine of her own self-aggrandizement. Images of herself (to the exclusion of all others) fill gilt frames and cover canvasses and play endlessly on the movie screen that she has installed in her living room. She has no qualms about pronouncing herself as the greatest screen idol of all time. Her luster has never diminished; the outside world simply has grown more philistine. She initially wants to throw Joe out, but she is cognizant of the fact that she needs help in assembling the disparate strands of her magnum opus-she is writing the screenplay that she believes will provide her glorious return to adoring fans. The script she is writing for herself is based on the Old Testament story of Salome-a monumental task. Norma knows she needs help finishing it, she decides to hire Joe.

Act Two begins as Joe Gillis is moved into the mansion on Sunset Blvd. He soon becomes (as all satellites do when they enter into orbit around a Narcissist) merely another purveyor of praise for the glorification of Norma Desmond. This is also the case with Max, her long suffering, emasculated servant who caters to and anticipates her every whim and keeps her continually supplied with a fresh stream of fabricated fan mail.

Joe not only serves to try to make sense of the vain, meandering script, but he also becomes a nice ornament-a new piece of jewelry on her arm. As such, without regard for his male ego, or his free will, she dresses him up as she chooses, the way she would a new doll. What begins as opportunism on Joe's part-a chance to escape his creditors and perhaps have a bit of a lark-soon descends into something more suffocating from which it might not be as easy as he thought to extricate himself.

Making sense of her behemoth of a script is nigh impossible as she forbids him from cutting any scene that had her in it, and since they all do he is somewhat stymied in his function as editor. Coming up against the monolith of Norma's narcissism proves a more powerful and entangling force than Joe had anticipated. What starts out as merely humoring her rapidly mutates into Norma wielding despotic control over his life. She refuses to let him chew gum, dictates where he sleeps and what he eats, and takes his reassurances that he is not stepping out by asserting that, "No, I won't let you."

The crack in her sealed world that let in the breath of fresh air that is Joe Gillis also serves to fan the fires of her narcissism to greater heights, prompting her to send her script to Cecil B. DeMille. This act allows her to fall fully headlong into a delusion of glamour and adoration from the masses. As her descent into psychosis picks up speed, Joe attempts to disentangle himself. This elicits a narcissistic rage from Norma that culminates in slashed wrists and brandished pistols.

In Act Three, Norma, freed from the constraints of reality, goes on a rampage. Ferociously jealous of Betty Shaffer, who she (correctly, by the way) suspects of having special feelings for Joe, she surreptitiously calls her and insinuates that Joe is an opportunistic monster, thus vanquishing her competition. When Joe at last tries to leave, he is no match for the awesome force of a narcissistic ego that has been left to ferment for decades: “We're not helping her, feeding her lies and more lies." When her threats of yet another suicide attempt fail to elicit Joe's concern, her delusions take a homicidal bent. "No one leaves a star . . . that's what makes one a star," she says and then points the gun at Joe.

After the murder, she is completely lost: "What is this scene? Where am I?" She can only be coaxed down to the waiting police car by the lure of Max saying, "Lights! Camera! Action!" Even then there's trouble because she's too damned happy, having once again found the spotlight she needs to do the scene properly.

QUALITIES AND QUALIFICATIONS THAT DEFINE THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY:

They tend to have active fantasy lives that revolve around their own grandiosity.

Their grandiosity bleeds into their behavior as well-they carry themselves in a grandiose way.

They display an unquenchable need for admiration.

They have a notable absence of empathy.

They have an overly inflated sense of self-importance.

They are preoccupied with dreams and fantasies of unlimited and unequaled power, beauty, intelligence, success, and idealized love.

They believe that they are special, a notch above all others.

They believe that they can only be truly appreciated and understood by other special people.

They only desire to associate with other special people, all others are beneath them and association with the latter would tarnish their luster.

They have a continual and insatiable need for admiration and praise.

They have a belief that they are intrinsically entitled to more than they've earned or deserve.

They tend to exploit any relationship that comes their way; no one is too sacred not to be used for the optimal benefit and betterment of the Narcissist.

They are unwilling to acknowledge the feelings or needs of others.

They tend to be obsessively envious of others and usually believe that others are covetous of all their possessions and attributes.

They tend to be arrogant.

They tend to be haughty.

They tend to be dismissive of anyone they deem as being of lower rank.

They tend to focus on themselves to an inordinate degree during conversations.

They tend to have fantasies of omnipotence.

They relentlessly pursue self-perfection.

Internally, they may feel phony and unlovable.

They secretly harbor fears of being weak, unworthy, insufficient or inferior.

They are often hiding feelings of shame.

They generally overestimate their own talents and attributes.

They tend to be highly judgmental.

They tend to be preoccupied with ranking-i.e., who is the richest, who is the biggest, etc.

They tend to hold themselves up to impossible standards and unrealistic ideals.

They may elevate chosen others to the rank of perfect and then identify with that idealized person and thereby inflate themselves through the association.

They direfully need others in their life, but their love for those others is shallow

They expect special treatment.

They handle criticism poorly-they react with either rage or indifference. Narcissistic injury.

They are usually very ambitious.

They insist on having their own way.

Their relationships are tenuous.

They often refuse to obey conventional rules of behavior.

They are usually prone to depression.

They handle aging poorly.

NOTEWORTHY CHARACTERISTICS OF THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY

SPEECH
Attention-seeking. A grandiose style. Self-centered in tone. Manipulative. Sarcastic. Often very technical and/or impressive use of words and phrases. For the sake of attention, it can also be the opposite grandiose-silent, clipped, wounded.

PROFESSIONS
Acting, politics, medicine, law. Center of attention. Top in field.

DRESS
Dressed to impress. Dress to make a statement. Dress to rebel. For sake of attention seeking may dress down to be noticed.

HEALTH
Due to the inability to express feelings, they often convert into physical ailments. Polar reactions occur: self obsessed about health or don't care. Substance abuse issues. Addictive difficulties. Unrealistic view of body leads to obsession with such things as plastic surgery, tension issues, migraines, gastrointestinal difficulties, and eating disorders.

POPULAR CLICHÉS OF THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY
S.O.B.
Ice Princess.
Puppet Master.
Workaholic.
Snobs.
Egotist.
Diva.
Self-centered.
Entitled.
Schemer.
Self-anointed.
Arrogant.
Smart aleck.
Wise guy.
Conceited.
Insolent.
Brazen.

SIMILAR PERSONALITY STYLES OF THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY

THE ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY
THE HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY
THE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
THE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY

VIEWING SUGGESTIONS OF THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY

8 1/2 (1963) - Drama, 135, No rating.
Narcissism in filmmaking. Great study of the business at hand. Winner of Best Foreign Film. Nominated for the writing.

All About Eve (1950) - Drama, 138, No rating.
For Anne Baxter as Eve-the quintessential Narcissist. Won the Oscar for Best Writing (amongst many others).

All That Jazz (1979) - Musical/Dance, 123, Rated R.
Dark and brutally honest confession of self-absorption in the entertainment business. Nominated for an Oscar the writing.

Apartment, The (1960) - Drama/Comedy, 125, No rating.
For Fred MacMurray as the ultimate heel, Sheldrake. One of the last times to see this star play an undesirable soul. Took home the Academy Award for Best Writing.

Barton Fink (1991) - Drama/Comedy, 117, Rated R.
Satirical and stylish representation of narcissism embodied by Hollywood-the-industry.

Becket (1964) - Historical/Drama, 148, No rating.
Interesting look at narcissism not only in a costume drama, but also for the fact the personality is on full display in two (Becket and Henry II) characters. Both O'Toole and Burton were nominated for Best Actor in the same film-a great rarity. Amongst its many Oscar nominations, it won for the writing. Flawless fun.

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) - Drama, 115, No rating.
Gloriously fun film based on a story by Truman Capote.

Butley (1974) - Drama , 127, Rated R.
Alan Bates gives a great performance as Ben Butley. A solid adaptation of the stage play that examines the real-life nature of narcissism.

Chinatown (1974) - Mystery, 131, Rated R.
For John Huston's portrayal of Noah Cross. Nominated for eleven Oscars. Robert Towne won for Original Screenplay.

Citizen Kane (1941) - Drama, 119, No rating.
Great character study of the successful Narcissist. Oscar winner of Best Original Screenplay (the only one of nine it took home).

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) - Drama, 120, Rated R.
Wonderful example of narcissism-Glenn Close as Marquise Merteuil.

Day of the Locust, The (1975) - Drama, 144, Rated R.
Very dark telling of one writer's experience in Hollywood.

Dolores Claiborne (1995) - Thriller/Mystery/Drama, 131, Rated R.
Accurately written portrayal of father-as-sexual-abuser. David Strathairn as Joe St. George in a remorseless performance.

Ed Wood (1994) - Drama/Comedy/Biography, 124, Rated R.
Off beat and wonderful telling of a true life Hollywood oddity.

Entertainer, The (1960) - Drama, 97, No rating.
Theater egos on shinning display. This time with the help of the formidable Laurence Olivier as Archie Rice, an egotistical vaudevillian set on making everyone's life miserable.

Goddess, The (1958) - Drama, 105, No rating.
Writer Paddy Chayefsky's take on narcissism and the superstars it creates. Oscar nominated for the writing.

Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - War/Biography/Adventure, 216, No rating.
Peter O'Toole' star-making performance as T.E. Lawrence. Robert Bolt was Oscar nominated for his writing.

Manchurian Candidate, The (1962) - Political/Thriller, 126, No rating.
Angela Landsbury's Academy Award nominated performance as the dominating mother of all mothers.

Mishima (1985) - Biography, 120, Rated R.
True life bio that is as visually stunning as it is clinically calculated.

Mutiny on the Bounty (1935) - Adventure, 132, No rating.
For Charles Laughton as Captain Bligh.

Network (1976) - Drama, 121, Rated R.
Several great examples of narcissism in show biz. Chayefsky won the deserved Oscar for writing.

Othello (1952) - Drama, 92, No rating.
Iago-one of the finest examples of well-engineered narcissism.

Othello (1965) - Drama, 166, No rating.
See above.

Othello (1995) - Drama, 123, Rated R.
See above.

Player, The (1992) - Comedy, 123, Rated R.
Dark, funny take on what we have come to expect from life in Hollywood. Michael Tolkin's script was nominated for an Oscar.

Rose, The (1979) - Drama/Musical, 134, Rated R.
A retelling of the Janis Joplin story. Bette Midler's screen debut as Rose.

sex, lies, and videotape (1989) - Drama, 100, Rated R.
Narcissism as a theme. Nominated for an Academy Award for the writing.

Stunt Man, The (1980) - Drama/Comedy, 129, Rated R.
Peter O'Toole as self-righteous, Eli Cross. Oscar nominated performance and script.

Sunset Blvd. (1950) - Drama, 110, No rating.
In our humble opinion, the greatest of them all.

Sweet Bird of Youth (1962) - Drama, 120, No rating.
Geraldine Page as Alexandra Del Lago. Remade in 1989 but it can't beat the original.

Twentieth Century (1934) - Comedy, 91, No rating.
John Barrymore as Oscar Jaffe, an egocentric Broadway producer. A hilarious send-up of the personality.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) - Thriller/Comedy, 132, No rating.
For Bette Davis as Baby Jane. One of her wickedest and wildest.

White Hunter, Black Heart (1990) - Drama/Adventure, 112, Rated PG.
Terrific behind the scenes bio of John Huston's infamous filming of The African Queen.

Withnail & I (1987) - Drama, 105, Rated R
For Richard E. Grant's dead-on portrayal of the self-absorbed actor, Withnail.