Naked skydiving FAQ

I've gotten asked about this enough that I figured I would do a
FAQ on it. it's a weird topic - to some jumpers it's a big joke,
something to talk about but never actually do. to others it's just
another kind of skydive, usually reserved for special occasions. to a
third group it's a big mystery - both in terms of why someone would want
to do it and how to actually go about it.
so without further ado, the naked skydiving FAQ:
Why would anyone want to jump naked?
depends. in some places it's a tradition, often performed on
one's birthday. in other places it's just a fun thing to do on a hot
Saturday, or to make a 6-way a bit more interesting.
Is it dangerous or illegal or anything?
it's no more dangerous than any other new skydiving trick you try
- that is to say, a little more dangerous that your average freefall, but
not by much if you're careful.
public nudity is illegal in many places, so don't get caught. try
to avoid offending the whuffos. it is bad form to parade naked through an
airport terminal on the way to the plane. emergency shorts or a long
shirt can help during an off-airport landing, although your canopy works
fine in a pinch.
Does it feel weird?
it feels very odd. body hair isn't used to 120 mph of wind.
also, you know how your face can flap around in freefall? well, picture
your whole body doing that.
Is it cold?
Of course it's cold! even on a warm day (60 at altitude) the
shock is enough to take your breath away for a second. you get used to it
fast, though. and yes - you do experience all the physiological effects
of being cold, which can sometimes be embarrassing.
Can you still maneuver?
freefall still works the same way. arching makes you stable,
legs-out drives you forward, etc. however, it doesn't feel the same, and
that can mess up your flying skills. if you stick your legs out, you feel
a lot of wind on your feet, and that can cause you to want to pull your
feet back in (for example.)
Will I fall faster?
it's been my experience that a typical guy falls a bit slower when
naked than when wearing a tight nylon jumpsuit (due to body hair maybe?)
most women fall a bit faster, but for most women the additional speed is
not a problem - especially if you've left the weights behind.
Will I fall out of my harness?
very unlikely. if your harness fits even halfway decently when
clothed, you won't fall out. if your chest strap is already hitting you in
the face on opening, it would probably be a good idea to get a better
fitting harness before trying anything like this. you will sit a bit
lower in your harness after you open, but not by much.
How can I get into the plane like that without everyone staring at me?
if that really bothers you, keep in mind that the objective is to
make a naked skydive - not a naked plane trip. a technique that works
pretty well:
1. find someplace private and take all your clothes off
2. put a cruddy loose t-shirt on (and a small fanny pack, if you want)
3. put your rig on
4. put a pair of shorts on over the rig
5. put on the rest of your stuff (sandals, altimeter, whatever)
6. just before jump run, loosen your chest strap and yank the shirt out
from under the rig (easier than it sounds.)
7. take the shorts off
8. if desired, stuff the shorts/shirt somewhere - an unused ROL pouch
works great for this, and a fanny pack isn't too bad either
9. GET A GEAR CHECK BEFORE EXITING! pulling things on and off can open
flaps, tug at bridles, etc. yes, someone will see your nakedness, but
they're going to see you in the door in a second anyway.
What kind of dive should I do?
pretty much anything you do normally. keep in mind that you'll
probably be flying poorly, so don't plan anything too ambitious. a diving
exit is generally less painful than a floating exit. keep in mind the
complete lack of grippers when designing the dive.
What about the opening? Will it hurt?
a normal opening will feel weird, but won't hurt. a hard opening
will hurt more than it otherwise would. after opening you will sit a bit
lower in the harness, but other than that, canopy control should not be
affected.
How do I land?
same as always. if you're not wearing shoes, land someplace soft.
if you want to put shorts back on after you land, try to land far enough
away so that you'll have time before the crowd gets there.
Should I get pictures/video?
sure! keep in mind, though, that those pictures are almost
guaranteed to reappear right when you don't want them to - say, during a
year-end party, or a boogie, or someone's bachelor party . . .
What are things I should watch for?
a few that come to mind -
whatever you do with clothing in the plane, don't cover up your
handles or your container! it could be a very bad thing if you had to
bail out at 1500 feet and there was a shirt over your reserve container.
also, pulling off a t-shirt over a container can open flaps, pull on RSL's
and do other bad things.
if you wear a shirt during the dive for whatever reason, make sure
that it will not cover your handles. keep in mind that during opening,
you'll be standing up, and the shirt will want to blow up over your head -
and that's precisely the time you may need to find those handles. tie the
shirt down, use duct tape, or use something over it (a belt? fanny pack?)
to keep it under control.
don't plan an unusual dive. if you've never done a 20-way before,
this is not the time to start - even if the nature of the dive makes you
instantly popular. don't try out new gear for the first time. there are
enough new things to deal with on the dive as it is.
be careful who you let spot, and make sure it's not someone who's
out to get you. enough said.
don't assume you can track normally. you really can, but the
feedback you get from your skin may mess you up. plan for this. either
plan to dump in place or warn others about the possible lack of a track.
as always, watch your altitude and be prepared for problems. they
can happen no matter what you're wearing.
Do women really whistle in freefall?
as far as I can tell that's a myth. (sorry to debunk that
particular bit of folklore . . .) things do flap around quite a bit,
though.
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-bill von