Firstborn and only children are more likely to succeed in school and work than others. At least, that is what's sure to be the controversial conclusion from Thomas K. Connellan's new book, "Bringing out the Best in Others! 3 Keys for Business Leaders, Educators, Coaches and Parents." Why? Connellan maintains that parents treat firstborns and onlies differently than they do other children by doing these three things:
1. Setting higher expectations
2. Demanding greater accountability
3. Providing more feedback. Turns out these are the very factors we need to be successful in life.
Why are some kids perfectionists, some the class clowns, and others fearless? Take this quiz to find out YOUR birth order personality!
Connellan told Orlando Sentinel reporter Aline Mendelsohn that firstborns and onlies DO have an edge in society. But here's the good news: If parents would treat each child as if he or she were born first in the family, more people would be successful.
Higher Expectations: Parents expect firstborns and onlies to act more mature than their age and hold them more accountable for what they do. It's the old "You should know better than that!" syndrome. Guess what? Kids live up to their parents expectations.
Greater Accountability: Connellan acknowledges that accountability can be harsh--especially for kids. It "can mean a brutal assessment of someone," he told the Orlando Sentinel in an interview. But "failure is a profound way of learning," he adds. "Sometimes kids need to learn how to fail." Feedback: Every parent knows this instinctively: The firstborn is the guinea pig. Parents learn how to be parents with their firstborn. This is a good thing for the child since it provides him or her with more constructive and consistent feedback than subsequent children in the family are likely to receive.
Are you a "functional firstborn"? You might be--even if you weren't born first in your family. Click to find out.
Like it or not, your birth order can help mold your personality and in many significant ways determine the kind of person you become. If Connellan is right, though, the advantages firstborns and onlies enjoy may not be inherently theirs alone.
Bound by birth order? Find out how kids from the same family can be so different from one another!
Can you pass this test? 1. Is someone (or more than one) on yoursales team not playing full out? 2. Are your child's grades where they should be? Is their room too messy? 3. If you're a teacher, do you have a student or two you'd like to reach more than you seem to be able to at the present? 4. In manufacturing? Would an increase in productivity of 5% or 10% interest you? 5. Is your child involved in youth sports? Want to support them in the best way possible without becoming one of those overbearing parents? 6. Are you coaching a youth sports team? Want some tips on how to help everyone on the team blossom and play just a little better? Or some tips on how to boost their self-esteem? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you're in a situation that most of us find ourselves in at some point in time. You know at least one person who is underperforming in some way. Now you now have the power to fix that situation. Permanently! Tom Connellan has spent years researching high performance - how to get it and how to keep it. His research uncovered some amazing facts. Two-thirds of all entrepreneurs are firstborn. Twenty-one of the twenty-three first astronauts were firstborn. Of the female world leaders between 1960 and 1999, 45% were firstborn. A ten-year study of 1,500 superior Wisconsin ninth-graders showed that 49 percent of them were firstborn. And according to an 1874 study in England, firstborns were overrepresented among fellows of the Royal Society. Even psychologists studying other psychologists found similar results — more than half the people elected president of the American Psychological Association were firstborns! And yet only about 1/3 of the population is firstborn. "What", Connellan wondered, "is it that firstborns get that laterborns usually don't?" His research uncovered three environmental factors that make the difference. If you are in a leadership position - executive, teacher, parent, coach, music teacher - the most important thing about these factors is their environmental nature. They are not something internal to the individual. This means that - given the proper skill set - you can use the three factors to create an environment that consistently brings out the best in employees, students, children, or team members. These three keys unlock peak performance in the people you live and work with. They enable business leaders, coaches, educators, parents, and others to consistently get that extra 10 to 20 percent needed to make a significant difference in profitability, performance, teamwork, and grades. They have been proven to work, time after time. Using the three factors, business leaders have improved sales and increased productivity; parents have boosted grade point averages; and educators have improved the performance of entire classes - as well as that of individual students who needed an extra boost. Music teachers have jump- started their students efforts. Coaches of youth sports have shortened learning curves, improved performance, and improved teamwork - without the stress that frequently accompanies those efforts. Bringing out the Best in Others! shows you how to put the three critical factors to work in a manner that consistently produces permanent improvements of 10-20 %. Sometimes it's more - even 100% improvement. But 10-20% is pretty consistent. You now have the opportunity to boost the performance of those around you.
The book details the three keys and shows how they apply to leadership in business, education, parenting, coaching, and music instruction. Examples of performance improvement include sales, manufacturing productivity, teamwork, communication, and both classroom as well as individual student performance. Some of the lessons you'll take away include: The five steps in supportive confrontation of non-performance that bring about commitment rather than just compliance. The one thing you have to do before you can improve teamwork. How to use the Inverted Motivation Curve to boost performance. The one thing that's even more punishing than punishment. Why the good-bad-good approach to discussing performance issues doesn't work and what to do about it.
About the Author:
Dr. Connellan is a former research associate and program director at the University of Michigan. A best-selling author, he is a frequent keynote speaker for organizations as diverse as Dell, Neiman-Marcus, GE, Marriott, Sony, and the Air Force Academy.
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