When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don’t fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing.
If you’re running away from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
When you are searching a house because you think there is something dangerous there, turn on the damn lights!
If you are at your Senior prom, and the school reject has just won prom queen, slowly back away and run for the exit. All hell is about to break loose.
If you are babysitting, don’t let the kids play with the Chucky doll.
If the movie is directed by someone named Wes Craven or John Carpenter, you’re pretty much screwed.
A female should never wear a white shirt without a bra while escaping the monster. It will only increase your chances of falling and causing a freak rainstorm that will make your shirt transparent and result in your immediate death.
If you DO happen to get killed, make sure it’s in a cheap low-budget gore-fest with no plot, so you can come back and kick ass, no explanation needed.
No comments:
Post a Comment