What makes a Robber Tick?

Some jerk with a stocking pulled over his head, walks up to you, sticks a gun in your face, screams in a shaky voice that he wants all your money, what do you do? What made him decide to rob you and not the other guy? To protect yourself from robbery, you should understand what makes a robber tick.

Robbers can be likened to predatory animals, preying on the weak and vulnerable, usually avoiding the strong and able. Most robbers are amateurs; desperate, nervous and easily frightened. That makes them dangerous. Robbers carry guns to make them feel powerful and weapons give them control over you. They expect that you will do exactly what you are told to do, when you are told to do it. They really don't like surprises.

How much money am I going to get? Is sticking up this place going to be worth it? Will I get away without getting caught? Will anybody recognize me? I want to get in and out fast. Nobody better mess with me, or else! Money, escape route, anonymity and likelihood of interference are the things that robbers worry about most. Robbers worry least about cameras and alarms.Any job related training for cash handlers should stress reasonable compliance to the demands of a robber. Recently, there has been a change in the choice of robbery targets.

Some retailers, tired of being robbed, have implemented protection strategies such as stringent cash control, enhanced witness potential and creating environments that discourage would-be robbers. This has caused a displacement of robberies to alternative softer targets. Are you a soft target?

The two most important things you can do to prevent a robbery from occurring, are to implement and communicate. Implement a cash control system to have the lowest amount of money available. Communicate the fact of low cash to everyone and thus lower the expectations of robbers.Most robbers like to look around the potential robbery site first, before actually committing the crime. If they don't feel the risks are worth it and are made to feel uneasy, the likelihood of their going elsewhere is greatly increased. If you suspect someone may be thinking about robbing you, call the police immediately and let them know what's going on. Robbery training for staff should operate on the premise that a robbery is probably going to occur, sometime. Dollars will be lost, but there certainly isn't enough cash for anyone to risk getting injured or killed trying to save it.

When the Police Arrive

Answer questions accurately when being interviewed by the police. Tell only what you saw or know. If an estimate is necessary, advise them that it is only your opinion and not a definite amount. Don't exaggerate when describing your experience or what has been stolen.Co-operate with police by:

Making yourself available for an interview;
not being reluctant to identify suspects;
and, giving evidence in court when notified to do so.

While co-operation with the police doesn't always result in the recovery of losses, you may be able to prevent others from becoming victims of robbery.If approached by news reporters after a robbery, do not divulge the amount of money stolen. When newspapers, television or radio reports indicate a large loss, other robbers will be attracted to your outlet.In businesses where there are a number of employees working in the store, much time and effort can be saved if some task is assigned to each employee.

Employee 1
secure entrances;admit no one; and, await arrival of police.

Employee 2
safeguard cash register area; and,safeguard note or other objects left by suspect.

Employee 3
calm customers & get names of witnesses;prepare a list of bait money taken;and, estimate loss (if possible, do not disturb register area).Even when only one employee is present, planning can be effective.

Internal Theft: The Threat from Within

It's bad enough when an intruder breaks into your outlet at night or a robber holds up your C-store, but when your own staff steal from you, business owners are left dealing both with the loss and the betrayal of trust. Internal theft is a potential problem in any business. We're not talking about an employee lifting a few pens from office supplies, but of the methodical theft of merchandise and money - sometimes hundreds and even thousands of dollars worth, until the employee is caught.

The majority of employees, like most of society are honest. But even the most trusting business owner can't ignore the possibility of internal theft. Here are a few precautions to take to prevent light-fingered staff from ripping you off:Receiving Merchandise: Create and control a set receiving area. Count all merchandise and compare the results with the shipping documents. Use pre-numbered receiving control forms to record shipments.

Assign two people to verify each shipment received:
they will police each other (change at least one of the people frequently).

Cash Control:
Close the register after every transaction.
Provide receipts.
Require verification of voided or under-rings.
Conduct surprise cash counts.
Check trash cans for paper with hash marks.
If you consistently find paper with hash marks crossed out, you will know someone's stealing. For example, employees will sell individual packages of cigarettes and keep track on paper. When they've sold 10 packs, they'll ring it up as a carton sale, pocketing the difference. It works on anything that is sold cheaper as a group than it is individually.

Key Control:
Never leave office keys hanging on a nail or in the lock, where they can be "borrowed" and duplicated.
Keep records of key use.
Never give employees access to pump keys. On the new computer-controlled pumps, employees can shut systems down and operate them manually if they have the proper key.

Never Rule Out Anyone
By removing the opportunity you've greatly cut the odds of becoming a victim. Staff steal not only because they can get away with it, but because they have a financial need or think they're taking what's owed them.

To spot high-risk employees, look for:
Employees living beyond their means: there must be an outside source of income - it could be company profits.
Rule breakers: an employee who habitually violates company policy may not be trustworthy to handle merchandise or cash.
Substance abusers: they often have financial pressures, or they have overcome the psychological barriers of theft.
Chronic liars: experience shows that many liars also steal.
Immature or troubled employees: they may find an emotional release in antisocial behaviours such as theft.
Wronged employees: they may get back at you for grievances or perceived slights through stealing.

When investigating an internal theft you can never rule out anyone, even long time employees. In fact, they may be more aware than anyone of the weaknesses in the security system and the ways around it. Some dealers are inclined to overlook losses suffered through internal theft, or take it easy on the perpetrator - easier, certainly, than they would if the thief was a stranger. By not pursuing the incident, especially when losses are high, you set a bad precedent and only encourage more internal theft. It's disillusioning to find that a trusted employee has taken advantage of you and broken the law. By implementing basic loss prevention techniques, you can hopefully avoid this unpleasant scenario and reduce the chances of becoming a victim of internal theft.

Robbery Prevention Procedures

While potential robbers are deciding whether or not to rob your outlet, you can often turn them away by doing things they don't like or that frustrate their intentions. The idea is to unnerve potential robbers.

Step 1: Look Safe
Give the Outlet a Look that Says -We Are Vigilant:A half asleep clerk in a sloppy C-store or service station invites would be robbers. To them, a careless scene means that you must be careless with money too.
To discourage them, you should:
Get out from behind the counter when the station is empty;
Keep the place clean;
Keep the salesroom or store uncluttered;
Keep the store well stocked;
and,Keep active.
Your activity will turn away some robbers simply because it would take too much time for them to get you back to the cash register. Robbers prefer brief robberies.
Step 2: Spotlight Crime
Put the Robber on Stage:
Robbers don't want to be visible from outside. They don't want a police officer, who may be passing by, to see them with a gun in their hand holding you up. The station cash register should be located to allow a clear view for passing motorists, pedestrians and police patrols. In the event of a robbery, a station employee will be able to note car descriptions and direction of travel. Both the interior and the exterior of a business should be well illuminated to deter robbers from hiding in shadows or poorly lit areas.
Poorly lit parking lots around businesses provide potential robbers with cover while they observe the outlet. It also restricts the ability of the victim to identify a getaway car. Customers will appreciate a well lit parking area as their comfort level will increase. Since most robberies occur after dark, block off hot spots where robbers could stand without being visible from outside.
Step 3: Monitor Danger
Keep a Sharp Lookout at All Times:
From time to time, look at likely casing places such as outdoor phone booths or cars parked either across the street or in the lot, but off to one side;
Observe whether anyone seems to be watching or loitering; and,
If the person doesn't leave, call the police. Tell them where you are and what you see. Doing it openly may scare away the person. The police welcome such calls and they often pay off.
Step 4: Be In Charge
Greet Each Person Who Comes into the Outlet:
A robber doesn't want to be identified. It's safer to rob strangers with as little human contact as possible.
Give everyone a friendly greeting;
Look each customer directly in the eyes. Such human contact will spoil it for some would-be robbers. It decreases their element of surprise, threatens them with the possibility of being identified later and makes it difficult for them to loiter in the store and watch you unnoticed;
Keep a friendly eye on each customer. This has the added advantage of preventing shoptheft;
Be especially suspicious of young males; those wearing garments that would conceal weapons, those who come in without having parked a car where you can see it and those who loiter over a trivial item, perhaps waiting for you to be alone;
Ask the customer ahead of the suspicious person, "Are you together?" This usually causes the customer to turn around and look at the person. Because robbers don't want to be identifiable, this trick may scare them off, and,
If you are alone with a suspicious person, leave the counter on an errand in the store and say, "I'll be with you in a minute."
Step 5: Reduce Cash
Limit Money in Cash Register. Keep as little money in the cash register as possible, especially bills;
Let the world know it! Unless you let them know otherwise before they start to rob you, robbers will expect a big score.Use a drop safe to avoid the accumulations of large sums of money in the cash register. A drop safe is one equipped with a slot to accept bills while the door remains locked.
If your store is equipped with a drop safe: Put all the $20 and $10 bills into the drop box or floor safe as soon as you get them. Do so publicly.
Tell your customers why you are making the drop - To make the outlet less attractive to potential robbers.
Such action will educate the public, including the would-be robbers, that robbing service stations is no longer worth risking imprisonment for.
While casing your outlet before a robbery, would-be robbers look into the cash register while it's open during a sale. If they see only coins and small bills, they're less likely to rob you.
Do not count cash in the presence of customers when clearing the register, particularly at closing time. This may provoke a spontaneous robbery, or, if repeated, will allow a potential robber to plan a robbery knowing when and how much money he can expect to take.
Step 6: Special Late Night Steps
Most store robberies occur after dark:
At that time you should take special steps to make your outlet a less attractive target to would be robbers.
Keep the amount of money in the cash register at the absolute minimum. Many stores operate with less than fifty dollars between two registers;
You can run a store on very little money if you request customers to pay for their purchases with the smallest bill and the exact change. If you need any particular denomination of money, ask your customers. They can often help you;
Minimize the available cash by putting large bills in a safe or drop box as soon as you get them; and,
Be certain all inside and outside lights are on and working.
If your business is situated close to a bank, deposits can be utilized to reduce the amount of cash on hand. When transporting cash or cheques from a business to a bank or depository, do not use pre-marked money bags and avoid drawing attention to the fact that money is being carried. If possible, have someone accompany you and also frequently alter your route and time of delivery.Consider the use of bait money in all registers. Record the series, serial numbers and denominations of a small amount of bills and in the event of a robbery, give these bills to the robber.
However, ensure that `bait money' is verified on a regular basis. Identification of stolen property is always a problem. Unless ownership can be proven for court purposes, use of bait money is useless.
Step 7: Honesty is the Best Policy
Don't Lie to Robbers:
Fake security devices and signs seldom help. Robbers soon learn to ignore them; and,
Follow the Robbery Prevention Procedures carefully and make sure all employees observe them also.

Secrets to winning at Rock, Paper, Scissors?

The secret to winning at RPSBasically, there are two ways to win at RPS. First is to take one throw away from your opponent options. ie - If you can get your opponent to not play rock, then you can safely go with scissors as it will win against paper and stalemate against itself. Seems impossible right? Not if you know the subtle ways you can manipulate someone. The art is to not let them know you are eliminating one of their options. The second way is to force you opponent into making a predictable move. Obviously, the key is that it has to be done without them realizing that you are manipulating them.Most of the following techniques use variations on these basic principles. How well it works for you depends upon how well you can subtly manipulate your opponent without them figuring out what you are doing. So, now that the background is out of the way, let's get into these techniques.
Little bit of background. Contrary to what you might think RPS is not simply a game of luck or chance. While it is true that from a mathematical perspective the 'optimum' strategy is to play randomly, it still is not a winning strategy for two reasons. First, 'optimum' in this case means you should win, lose and draw an equal number of times (hardly a winning strategy over the long term). Second, Humans, try as they might, are terrible at trying to be random, in fact often humans in trying to approximate randomness become quite predictable. So knowing that there is always something motivating your opponent's actions, there are a couple of tricks and techniques that you can use to tip the balance in your favour.
1 - Rock is for Rookies
In RPS circles a common mantra is "Rock is for Rookies" because males have a tendency to lead with Rock on their opening throw. It has a lot to do with idea that Rock is perceived as "strong" and forceful", so guys tend to fall back on it. Use this knowledge to take an easy first win by playing Paper. This tactic is best done in pedestrian matches against someone who doesn't play that much and generally won't work in tournament play.
2 - Scissors on First
The second step in the 'Rock is for Rookies' line of thinking is to play scissors as your opening move against a more experienced player. Since you know they won't come out with rock (since it is too obvious), scissors is your obvious safe move to win against paper or stalemate to itself.
3 - The Double Run
When playing with someone who is not experienced at the RPS, look out for double runs or in other words, the same throw twice. When this happens you can safely eliminate that throw and guarantee yourself at worst a stalemate in the next game. So, when you see a two-Scissor run, you know their next move will be Rock or Paper, so Paper is your best move. Why does this work? People hate being predictable and the perceived hallmark of predictability is to come out with the same throw three times in row.
4 - Telegraph Your Throw
Tell your opponent what you are going to throw and then actually throw what you said. Why? As long as you are not playing someone who actually thinks you are bold enough to telegraph your throw and then actually deliver it, you can eliminate the throw that beats the throw you are telegraphing. So, if you announce rock, your opponent won't play paper which means coming out with that scissors will give you at worst a stalemate and at best the win.
5 - Step Ahead Thinking
Don't know what to do for your next throw? Try playing the throw that would have lost to your opponents last throw? Sounds weird but it works more often than not, why? Inexperienced (or flustered) players will often subconsciously deliver the throw that beat their last one. Therefore, if your opponent played paper, they will very often play Scissors, so you go Rock. This is a good tactic in a stalemate situation or when your opponent lost their last game. It is not as successful after a player has won the last game as they are generally in a more confident state of mind which causes them to be more active in choosing their next throw.
6 - Suggest A Throw
When playing against someone who asks you to remind them about the rules, take the opportunity to subtly "suggest a throw" as you explain to them by physically showing them the throw you want them to play. ie "Paper beats Rock, Rock beats scissors (show scissors), Scissors (show scissors again) beats paper." Believe it or not, when people are not paying attention their subconscious mind will often accept your "suggestion". A very similar technique is used by magicians to get someone to take a specific card from the deck.
7 - When All Else Fails Go With Paper
Haven't a clue what to throw next? Then go with Paper. Why? Statistically, in competition play, it has been observed that scissors is thrown the least often. Specifically, it gets delivered 29.6% of the time, so it slightly under-indexes against the expected average of 33.33% by 3.73%. Obviously, knowing this only gives you a slight advantage, but in a situation where you just don't know what to do, even a slight edge is better than none at all.
8 - The Rounder's Ploy
This technique falls into more of a 'cheating' category, but if you have no honour and can live with yourself the next day, you can use it to get an edge. The way it works is when you suggest a game with someone, make no mention of the number of rounds you are going to play. Play the first match and if you win, take it is as a win. If you lose, without missing a beat start playing the 'next' round on the assumption that it was a best 2 out of 3. No doubt you will hear protests from your opponent but stay firm and remind them that 'no one plays best of one for a kind of decision that you two are making'. No this devious technique won't guarantee you the win, but it will give you a chance to battle back to even and start again.

googling

More words to google for ideas or pictures
Old stamp
Sold cartoon
Antique
Gap
Hut
Shack
Intrigue
Swoom
Motley crew

Love Addiction

LOVE ADDICTION... WHAT IS IT? WHO GETS IT? And WHY?Brenda SchaefferReal love is not addiction nor is addiction love. Yet, because of the human condition, these two experiences seem to come together and result in the incredible pain and suffering we are witness to or experience directly. We are drawn to the chemical highs love, sex and romance produce. The neurochemistry of love can become a drug as difficult to give up as alcohol or cocaine. Words we often associate with addiction include obsessive, excessive, destructive, compulsive, habitual, attached, and dependent. And when you think about it, some of these words are also used to talk about love. And the similarities do not stop there.The love addict may understand intellectually that their behavior is self destructive, but physically and emotionally they are drawn into it over and over again. The number and variety of out of control behaviors when love is withdrawn are becoming legion in the daily news: “Young woman ends abusive love relationship and is brutally murdered.” “CEO charged with sexual harassment.” “Coach sued for child support by a former lover.” “Domestic abuse charges filed by wife of a professional sports star.” “Public official caught in scandalous affair.” How is it that we are simultaneously seeking wellness and love but descending into a well of violence and obsession?What is love addiction?Love addiction is any unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met. Psychologically, love addiction is a reliance on someone external to the self in an attempt to heal past trauma, get unmet needs fulfilled, avoid fear or emotional pain, solve problems, fill our loneliness and maintain balance. The paradox is that love addiction is an attempt to gain control of our lives, and in so doing; we go out of control by giving personal power to someone outside ourselves. Addictive love is an attempt to satisfy our developmental hunger for security, sensation, power, belonging, and meaning. Love addiction is very often associated with feelings of “never having enough” or “not being enough.” None of us got everything we needed in just the way we needed it in our developmental history. We literally walk around with holes in our psyche and look for others to fill those holes.No matter how it plays out, we unconsciously look to others to “fix” our fear, pain, and discomfort and tolerate or inflict abusive behaviors in the process. We use and abuse. This other can be any important person in our life that we unconsciously hook up with: a child, a parent, a friend, a boss, a spouse, and a lover. Or, as in romance or sexual compulsion, it can be someone we don’t even know personally. In sex addiction it can be a pornographic image. It can be as mild as a codependent relationship or as lethal as a fatal attraction.Why love addiction is so common.At the base of love addiction is a violation of trust. We have all had them in some form or another. Because of the betrayal of trust we both want and yet fear closeness. Our fear is both biological and psychological and runs deep.

Since we are meant to be in relationship we have no choice but to figure out a way to be involved with others. Love addiction is the answer. It is quite clever and often gets passed off as the real thing. Sometimes you have to look very closely to notice the difference. But we really do know in our hearts and in our soul’s when we have been fooled, are fooling our self or just plain fooling around.

We do not become love addicts living in a vacuum. We live in a culture of image and ownership. We are measured by how good we look, how much we have, and if we have someone by our side that supports a good image. We have, sadly, been groomed to look outside ourselves for happiness and love. Our obsession with love pervades every aspect of popular culture from romance novels to rock and pop song lyrics, and even great works of fiction, poetry, drama and art. Our culture idealizes, dramatizes, and models a dependency that says we cannot live without another person, sex or romance. We become dependent almost unconsciously.Culture and psychology are not the only things directing us towards love addiction. When it comes to love we are neuro-chemically vulnerable. Biology provides us naturally with the three sensations of pleasure--arousal, fantasy, and satiation--as a way to experience life to its maximum. These three planes are controlled by hundreds of brain chemicals that we are only at the beginning stages of understanding. Without these chemicals we would not have the ability to appreciate our own human nature and the earthly gifts. PEA, for example, is a neuro-chemical that produces arousal states; it keeps us alert and motivates us to action. Discomfort states--including pain--are also identified by the presence of neuro-chemicals, and help us identify our normal human needs so we seek satiation. Chemically controlled feelings of satiation then tell us we have had enough and--hopefully--we stop and experience a feeling of physical balance. Eating until we are full is a good example. Still other chemicals are necessary to a rich fantasy life. We luxuriate in a future of pleasing options. We revel in a piece of art and feel great passion as we write a song. The biochemistry of this self-induced trance states allow us to deeply experience a sunset or envision our beloved.Contentment, creative passion, fear, and sexual excitation—each has a neurological analogue. Though these chemicals are meant to enhance our love life we can become dependent on these “feel good” chemicals and self medicate our ills with them.Types of Love AddictionIn my clinical practice I have found it important to distinguish between three types of love addiction: love, romance and sexual.Love AddictionLove Addiction is nothing but a misguided dependency on others in an attempt to fulfill unmet developmental needs. We often choose people similar to those in the past who did not meet our needs hoping this time we will end up satisfied. But because they are similar or we view them as similar, we end up feeling dissatisfied once more. A key element in identifying dependent love is how we feel when the person disapproves of us, disagrees with us, moves away from us, or threatens us.

An escalation of behaviors occurs when the love object threatens to leave us psychologically or physically. Dependent love is always self-serving. It survives on psychological myths: “I will take care of your fears and inadequacies so you will take care of mine.” “If you fail me, I will do whatever it takes to keep you around.” “But since I do not know how to be intimate or fear intimacy, I will allow only so much closeness or push you away.”

On a psychological level love addiction makes perfect sense. Our attractions are psychological. If I believe men are never there when you need them most, I will find them. If I need a woman who won’t support me, I will find her. Dependent love addicts fear abandonment or betrayal. The most important thing is to be in a relationship or on the edge of a relationship. They often hang onto abusive relationships for fear of being alone. They may or may not have romantic or sexual feeling for the object of their attention and drama substitutes for intimacy.Romance AddictionRomance Addiction refers to those experiences when the object of love is also a romantic object. This object/person can be a romantic partner or live only in the love addict’s fantasies. The “fix” may be an elaborate fantasy life not unlike the story line of a romance novel, or the euphoria of a new romance. In either case, the rush of intoxicating feelings experienced during the attraction stage of a romance—a state sometimes referred to as limerance—is the drug that can become a substitute for real intimacy. The pursuit of this high can become an addiction in itself. Often, it becomes a dramatic obsession that results in the stalking of the romantic love object by the obsessed person. The love addict seeks total immersion in the romantic relationship, real or imagined. Since the romance-driven high is dependent on the newness of the relationship or the presence of a person, romance addiction is often filled with victim/persecutor melodrama and sadomasochism. Bizarre acting-out behaviors are often a by-product of romance addiction. When the euphoria of new love wanes, the romance addict often moves on looking for a new romantic encounter with its high or obsessions.Sex AddictionThe power of sexual love is unequaled in human experience. In fact, sex may be the only experience that profoundly affects all three of the pleasure planes (arousal, satiation, and fantasy) in our neurochemistry. It has the potential to be the pièce de résistance among life experiences. It is easy to see, then, how sex can become an addict’s drug of choice.Sexual addiction is a sickness involving any type of uncontrollable sexual activity that results in negative consequences. When obsessive-compulsive sexual behavior is left unattended, it causes distress and despair for the individual and his or her partner and family. Denial causes the sexual addict to distort reality, ignore the problem, blame others, and give numerous justifications for his or her out-of-control behavior. The addiction progresses until sex becomes the essential need, more important than family, work, or spiritual integrity.We live in a culture that promotes sex as the drug of choice. Perhaps the mounting negative social consequences of sexual compulsion will motivate society to take this problem more seriously. The cost of this addiction to our society is more than financial. The fabric of our spiritual, emotional, and relational lives is affected as well.Dependent love may or may not include a romantic or sexual component. When the object of love is, or has been, the romantic and sexual partner, the stakes run high. When a person’s object of dependent love is also the object of his or her romantic and sexual desires, he or she will experience intense behaviors when the object of love withdraws or threatens to withdraw.Most, if not all relationships have elements of unhealthy dependency as well as healthy interdependency. The difficulty with love addiction, however, is that we cannot stop loving or relating! Nor should we! Therefore, we must learn what is love and what is addiction and build on the best aspects of our love life. Why get out of love addiction? The biggest reason is that it limits and stunts our growth as a human and spiritual being.Seven steps to getting out of love addiction:1. Believe that healthy love is possible.2. Be willing to assess your love life honestly.3. Accept that the only person you can change is you.4. Connect the unhealthy aspects of your love life with your inner beliefs and past trauma.5. Change your beliefs to those that encourage healthy love6. Let go of fear.7. Experience yourself as unconditional love and live it.Post Script: if you need help…do yourself a favor and get it!In summary, obsessive, dependent, erotic love often is a misplaced attempt to achieve that fusion we so deeply desire. We want to end the feelings of isolation caused by our learned restraints against true intimacy. Aroused by the experience of love, one often is willing to suspend those restraints in order to merge with another. If the merger is dependent and immature, the result is love addiction. Life energy is directed on the pursuit of gratification rather than growth. If mature, the love will grow and expand.As Erich Fromm said, “This desire for interpersonal fusion is the most powerful striving in man. It is the most fundamental passion, it is the force which keeps the human race together . . .. Erotic love . . . is the craving for complete fusion. It is by its very nature exclusive and not universal.” Without agape, universal love of others, it remains narcissistic.

Sex, love and romance are delightful aspects of our humanity. Some of the most powerful experiences relate to the meaning and beauty of love, sex and romance. They can be a sacred form of connecting or they can be an egoist’s attempt at self-fulfillment.
Posted by Barbara at 2:55 AM

Abusive Behaviors

From "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft.

Ten Reasons to Stay the Same

To answer the question "Why Does He Do That?" we have to examine the foundation on which abusive behaviors are based. On the first level are the abuser's attitudes, beliefs and habits-- the thinking that drives his behavior day in and day out, which we have been looking at.

On the second level is the learning process by which some boys develop into abusive men or, in other words, where abusive values come from, which is the topic of ch 13. There is also a third level, which is rarely mentioned in discussions of abuse but which is actually one of the most important dynamics: the benefits that an abuser gets that make his behavior desirable to him.

In what ways is abusiveness rewarding? How does this destructive pattern get reinforced? Consider the following scenario: Mom, Dad, and their children are having dinner on a Wed night. Dad is snappy and irritable, criticizing everybody during the meal, spreading his tension around like electricity. When he finishes eating, he leaves the table abruptly and heads out of the room. His 10 yr old daughter says, "Dad, where are you going? Wed is your night to wash dishes." Upon hearing these words, Dad bursts into flames, screaming, "You upstart little shit, don't you dare try to tell me what to do! You'll be wearing a dish on your face!" He grabs a plate off the table, makes like he is going to throw it at her, and then turns away and smashes it on the floor. He knocks a chair over with his hand and storms out of the room. Mom and the children are left trembling; the daughter bursts into tears. Dad reappears in the doorway and yells that she'd better shut up, so she chokes off her tears, which causes her to shake even more violently.

Without touching a soul, Dad has sent painful shock waves through the entire family.We move ahead now to the following Wed. Dinner passes fairly normally, without the previous week's tension, but Dad still strolls out of the kitchen when he finishes eating. Does a family member remind him that it's his turn to wash the dishes? Of course not. It will be many, many months before anyone makes that mistake again. They quietly attend to the cleanup, or they squabble among themselves about who should do it, taking out their frustrations over Dad's unfairness and volatility on each other. Dad's scary behavior has created a context in which he won't have to do the dishes anytime he doesn't feel like it, and no one will dare take him to task for it. Any incident of abusive behavior brings the abuser benefits just as this one did. Over time, the man grows attached to his ballooning collection of comforts and privileges. Here are some of the reasons why he may appear so determined not to stop bullying:

1. The intrinsic satisfaction of power and control

The abusive man gains power through his coercive and intimidating behaviors-- a sensation that can create a potent, thrilling rush. The wielder of power feels important and effective and finds a momentary relief from life's normal distresses. It isn't the woman's pain that appeals to him; most abusers are not sadists. In fact, he has to go to some lengths to shield himself from his own natural tendenty to empathize with her. The feeling that he rules is where the pleasure lies.Yet the heady rush of power is the bare beginning of what the abuser gains through his mistreatment of his partner. If the rewards stopped here, I would find it much easier than I do to prevail upon my clients to change.

2. Getting his way, especially when it matters to him most

A romantic partnership involves a never-ending series of negotiations between 2 people's differing needs, desires, and preferences. Many of the differences that have to be worked out are matters of tremendous importance to the emotional life of each partner, such as"-- Are we spending Christmas with my relatives, whom I enjoy, or with your relatives who get on my nerves and don't seem to like me?-- Are we eating dinner tonight at my favorite restaurant, or at a place that I'm tired of and where the children seem to get wound up and irritating?-- Am I going to have to go alone to my office party, which makes me feel terrible, or are you going to come with me even though you would rather spend the evening doing almost anything else on earth?It is important not to underestimate theimpact of these kinds of day-to-day decisions. Your happiness in a relationship depends greatly on your ability to get your needs heard and taken seriously. If these decisions are taken over by an abusive or controlling partner, you experiences disappointment after disappointment, the constant sacrificing of your needs. He, on the other hand, enjoys the luxury of a relationship where he rarely has to compromise, gets to the things he enjoys, and skips the rest. He shows off his generosity when the stakes are low, so that friends will see what a swell guy he is. The abuser ends up with the benefits of being in an intimate relationship without the sacrifices that normally come with the territory. That's a pretty privileged lifestyle.

3. Someone to take his problems out on

Have you ever suffered a sharp disappointment or a painful loss and found yourself looking for someone to blame? Have you, for example, ever been nasty to a store clerk when you were really upset about your job? Most people have an impulse to dump bad feelings on some undeserving person, as a way to relieve-- temporarily-- sadness or frustration. Certain days you may know that you just have to keep an eye on yourself so as not to bite someone's head off.

The abusive man doesn't bother to keep an eye on himself, however. In fact, he considers himself entitled to use his partner as a kind of human garbage dump where he can litter the ordinary pains and frustrations that life brings us. She is always an available target, she is easy to blame-- since no partner is perfect-- and she can't prevent him from dumping because he will get even worse if she tries. His excuse when he jettisons his distresses onto her is that life is unusually painful-- an unacceptable rationalization even if it were true, which it generally isn't.

4. Free labor from her; leisure and freedom for him

No abusive man does his share of the work in a relationship. He may take advantage of his partner's hard work keeping the house, preparing the meals, caring for the children, and managing the myriad details of life. Or, if he is one of the few abusers who carries his weight in these areas, then he exploits her emotionally instead, sucking her dry of attention, nurturing, and support, and returning only a trickle. All this uncompensated labor from her means leisure for him. During the house he spends talking about himself he is relieved of the work of listening. The long weekend days when she cares for the children are his opportunity to watch sports, go rock climbing, or write his novel. My clients don't make the connection that someone takes care of the work; they think of it as just mysteriously getting done and refer to women as "lazy." Yet on a deeper level the abuser seems to realize how hard his partner works, because he fights like hell not to have to share that burden. He is accustomed to his luxury and often talks exaggeratedly about his exhaustion to excuse staying on his read end.

Studies have shown that a majority of women feel that their male partners don't contribute fairly to household responsibilities. However, a woman whose partner is not abusive at least has the option to put her foot down about her workload and insist that the man pick up the slack. With an abusive man, however, if you put your foot down he either ignores you or makes you pay.The abuser comes and goes as he pleases, meets or ignores his responsibilities at his whim, and skips anything he finds too unpleasant. In fact, some abusers are rarely home at all, using the house only as a base for periodic refueling.

5. Being the center of attention, with priority given to his needs

When a woman's partner chronically mistreats her, what fills up her thoughts? Him, of course. She ponders how to soothe him so that he won't explode, how to improve herself in his eyes, how she might delicately raise a touchy issue with him. Little space remains for her to think about her own life, which suits the abuser; he wants her to be thinking about him. The abuser reaps cooperation and catering to his physical, emotional and sexual needs. And if the couple has children, the entire famly strives to enhance his good moods and fix his bad ones, in the hope that he won't start tearing pieces out of anyone. Consistently at the center of attention and getting his own way, the abuser can ensure that his emotional needs get met on his terms-- a luxury he is loath to part with.

6. Financial control

Money is a leading cause of tension in modern relationships, at least in families with children. Financial choices have huge quality of life implications, including: Who get to make the purchases that matter most to him or her; what kind sof preparations are made for the future, including retirement; what types of leisure activities and travel are engaged in; who gets to work; who gets to not work if he or she doesn't want to; and how the children's needs are met. To have your voice in these decisions taken away is a monumental denial of your rights and has long-term implications. On the lfip side, the abuser who dominates these kinds of decisionsextorts important benefits for himself, whether the family is low income or wealthy. One of the most common tactics I hear about, for example, is that the abuser manages to finagle dealings so that his name is on his partner's belongings-- such as her house or her car-- along with, or instead of, her name. In fact, I have had clients whose abuse was almost entirely economically based and who managed to take many thousands of dollars away from their partners, either openly or thorugh playing financial tricks.

An abuser's history of economic exploitation tends to put him in a much better financial position that his partner if the relationship splits up. This imbalanace makes it harder for her to leave him, especially is she has to find a way to support her children. He may also threaten to use his economic advantage to hire a lawyer and pursue custody, on of the single most terrifying prospects that can face an abused woman.

7. Ensuring that his career, education or other goals are prioritized

Closely interwoven with financial control is the question of whose personal goals receive priority. If the abuser needs to be out several evening studying for a certificate that will improve his job advancement potential, he's going to do it. If a career opportunity for him involves moving to a new state, he is likely to ignore the impact of his decision on his partner. Her own goals may also advance at times, but only as long as they don't interfere with his.

8. Public status of partner and/or father without the sacrifices

With his strong people-pleasing skills and his lively energy when under the public gaze, the abusive man is often thought of as an unusually fun and loving partner and a sweet, committed dad. He soaks up the smiles and appreciation he receives from relatives, neighbots, and people in the street who are unaware of his behavior in private.

9. The approval of his friends and relatives

An abuser often chooses friends who are supportive of abusive attitudes. On top of that, he may come from an abusive fmaily; in fact, his father or stepfather may have been his key role model for how to treat female partners. If these are his social surroundings, he gets strokes for knowing how to control his partner, for "putting her in her place" from time to time, and for ridiculing her complaints about him. His friends and relatives may even bond with him on the basis of his view of women in general as being irrational, vindictive, or avaricious. For this man to renounce abuse, he would have to give up hsi cheerleading squad as well.

10. Double standards

An abusive man subtly or overtly imposes a system in which he is exempt from the rules and standards that he applies to you. He may allow himself to have occaisonal affairs, "because men have their needs," but if you so much as gaze at another man, you're a "whore". He may scream in arguments, but if you raise your voice, you're "hysterical". He may pick up one of your children by the ear, but if you grab your son and put him in timeout for punching you in the leg, you're a "child abuser". He can leave his schedule open and flexible while you have to account for your time. He can point out your faults, while setting himself above criticism, so that he doesn't have to deal with your complaints or be confronted with the effects of his selfish and destructive actions. The abusive man has the privilege of living by a special set of criteria that were designed just for him.Glance back quickly over this impressive collection of privileges. Is it any wonder that abusive men are reluctant to change? The benefits of abuse are a major social secret, rarely mentioned anywhere. Why? Largely because abusers are specialists in distracting our attention. They don't want anyone to notice how well this system is working for them (and usually don't even want to admit it to themselves). If we caught on, we would stop feeling sorry for them and instead start holding them accountable for their actions. As long as we see abusers as victims, or as out-of-control monsters, they will continue getting away with ruining lives. If we want abusers to change, we will have to require them to give up the luxury of exploitation.

When you are left feeling hurt or confused after a confrontation with your controlling partner, ask yourself: What was he trying to get out of what he just did? What is the ultimate benefit to him? Thinking through these questions can help you clear your head and identify his tactics.Certainly the abusive man also loses a great deal through his abusiveness. He loses the potential for genuine intimacy in his relationship, for example, and his capacity for compassion and empathy. But these are often not things that he values, so he may not feel their absence. And even if he would like greater intimacy, that wish is outweighed by his attachment to the benefits of abuse.
Posted by Barbara at 2:07 AM

What do you want to do?

The world wants to...

pen the novel that's been in my head for years
Create my own Web Page
take a Spanish class
Skydive
become a pastry chef
write poetry in a foreign language
play piano like one of those old piano ladies
gain confidence
move to California
meet new people
go to Heaven
Read more often
Visit the Grand Canyon
Quit my job
say the truth
someday get married
dance flamenco
improve my English vocabulary
find investors
kiss
become enlightened
get corrective eye surgery
write a book and have it published
walk regularly.

I want to . . .

The mind is a terrible thing to waste

The Mind is a Wonderful Thing
Here are a few interesting factoids to consider:
The oldest language in the world, Sanskrit, is related to only two other known languages: Gaelic and Iranian. It seems it is no accident that Ireland (Eire) and Iran have similar names!
Gaelic therefore represents a tradition that is likely thousands of years older than the earliest recorded memory.
To give some idea of the capacity of the human memory:
There are 4 major Vedic texts in India's heritage, each some 4 times longer than the Christian Bible, plus a fifth that is twice as long. They are 10,000 years old.
They were passed down by word of mouth for at least 5,000 years before they could possibly be written down.
In all that time, there is only disagreement over the contents of one phrase in the texts. (Contrast that with the number of scholarly arguments over the written Bible!
The texts are rhythmic, and they rhyme. People are good at remembering things like that!
Conclusion:The human mind has astonishing capacity that is virtually untapped. Use it! Grow it! To bring the point home: You easily recall hundreds of songs you heard growing up. You can hear every note of your favorite tune, every vocal inflection, and every stylistic detail in your "inner ear". Give it a try!

What can you do for depression?

Do you have:
Depressed mood ?
Low self esteem ?
Excessive tearfulness ?
Disturbed sleep patterns (insomnia or hypersomnia) ?
Disturbed appetite (either loss of appetite or binge eating) ?
Loss of libido ?
Fatigue and loss of interest and motivation ?
Irritability and anger ?
Anxiety and Panic attacks ?
Obsessive thoughts and other symptoms of OCD ?

1. Hypericum Perforatum (St John's Wort) has been scientifically shown to relieve the symptoms of depression if used regularly over a period of 3 - 5 weeks. St John's Wort is often called 'Nature's Prozac' and is widely used as the anti-depressant of choice in many countries like Germany and in other parts of Europe. There have been many clinical studies which show the effectiveness of St John's Wort in the treatment of depression.

A review published in the British Medical Journal quotes up to twenty-three clinical trials which demonstrate that St John's Wort works as well as many prescription anti-depressants, without the major side effects. Millions of people around the world have been helped by treatment with St John's Wort.

Many clients say that it feels like 'the black cloud' has been lifted from their heads and that they have more zest for life!

2. Passiflora is a calming herb that reduces anxiety and soothes frayed nerves.

According to Dr Earl Mindell (The New Herb Bible), Passiflora is one of nature's best tranquilizers. It works quickly and effectively and is an excellent addition to any treatment for anxiety and depression.

Hypericum Perforatum - called St John's Wort in Europe. It has been used for centuries to treat depression, anxiety and sleep disorders and is traditionally used as a restoring tonic for the nervous system and to lift the spirits. More recently, there have been a number of clinical studies that have demonstrated that standardized extracts of Hypericum are more effective than a placebo in the treatment of depression .Active ingredients include glycosides, flavonoids, volatile oils, tannins and resins. The active ingredients in Hypericum are thought to boost serotonin levels, which are usually lacking in depressed people. In some countries like Germany, the sale of St John's Wort has outstripped many of the major prescription anti-depressants.

Passiflora Incarnata - also called Passion Flower - is used as a sedative and for insomnia and can relieve anxiety and nervousness. Active ingredients include flavonoids, cyanogenic glycosides, alkaloids and saparin. Combined with Hypericum, it helps to calm and soothe, and is also thought to reduce high blood pressure and nervous tremors.

What else I can do to help myself?
There are many things you can do to alleviate the symptoms of depression naturally. These include:
1.Talk about your problems and find ways to change your circumstances. Consider therapy with a Licensed Counselor to help you to make the changes that you need.
2. Regular exercise (at least three times a week)
3.Healthy diet (sufficient Vitamin B6 and B12, magnesium, iron, zinc and omega 3 and 6 fatty acids)
4. Eating certain foods will also help to raise serotonin levels. Good examples are oats, turkey, milk, pasta and other carbohydrate-rich foods.
5. Look after yourself and learn to say 'No'.
6.Regular Detox periods are very helpful to clear the system of pollutants and certain metals that are absorbed from the atmosphere and may contribute to the symptoms of depression.

The Meme of Four

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life:

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have:

Four Places I Have Lived:

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:

Four Places I Have Been on Vacation:

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

Four Favorite Foods:

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

How to flame a blog post

Dear Blogger:
[_] Clueless b00b
[_] Lamer
[_] Flamer
[_] Pervert
[_] Sexist
[_] Spammer
[_] Racist
[_] Idiot
[_] Dumbass
[_] Troller
[_] "Expert"
[_] Wannabe
[_] Waste of Life
[_] Other: America-basher
[_] All of the above
You are being flamed because:
[_] You made an "Off-Topic" post.
[_] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand.
[_] You started a pointless thread.
[_] You bumped a pointless thread.
[_] Your post contained nothing but crap.
[_] You can't spell more than 3 words right.
[_] Your awful markup made the post unreadable.
[_] You made a useless assumption.
[_] You posted ALL IN CAPS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
[_] YoU tYpEd SoMeThInG lAmE lIkE tHiS.
[_] You say you're "1337".
[_] You posted a topic that's been posted 23 times already.
[_] You're posting something illegal and will be banned anyway.
[_] You're asking for something illegal.
To repent, you must:
[_] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing.
[_] Stab yourself in the eye with a pen.
[_] Give up your internet account.
[_] Eat paint chips for the next 6 months.
[_] Tell your mommy to up your meds.
[_] Jump into a bathtub with a toaster.
[_] Actually post something relevant.
[_] Read and memorize the rules.
[_] Leave these boards forever.
[_] Print your home phone number.
[_] Simply shut up.
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[_] Blow me
[_] Get a life
[_] Never post again
[_] I pity your dog
[_] Your IQ must be 7
[_] Take your rejection somewhere else
[_] STFU & GFYS
[_] Learn to post
[_] Go jump into some industrial equipment
[_] All of the above

Inventions Timeline

Inventions
"But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased" (Dan 12:4).
4000 BC: Canal in Mesopotamia 3500 BC: Plywood in Egypt 3500 BC: Writing in Sumer 3500 BC: Carts in Sumer 3000 BC: Drainage in the Indus Valley (India/Pakistan) 3000 BC: Bronze: Susa 3000 BC: Silk in China 3000 BC: Cement in Egypt 2800 BC: Soap in Mesopotamia 2800 BC: Button in the Indus Valley2600 BC: Artificial sewage systems in the Indus Valley 2000 BC: Currency 2000 BC: Candles in Egypt600s BC: Coins in Lydia 500s BC: Sugar in India 500s BC: Dental bridge in Etruria500s BC: Trebuchet in China 400s BC: Plastic surgery: Sushruta300s BC: Compass in China 300s BC: Screw: Archytas 200s BC: Crossbow in China 200s BC: Compound pulley: Archimedes 200s BC: Odometer: Archimedes? 150s BC: Clockwork (the Antikythera mechanism) 150s BC: Astrolabe: Hipparchus 100s BC: Parchment in Pergamon 50 AD: Mouldboard plough in Gaul 100s: Aeolipile : Egypt by Hero of Alexandria 100s: Stern mounted rudder in China 100s: Paper200s: Wheelbarrow: Zhuge Liang 200s: Horseshoes in Germany 300s: Wootz steel in India 300s: Stirrup in China 300s: Toothpaste in Egypt 600s: Windmill in Persia 670s: Greek fire 700s: Quill pen 800s: Gunpowder in China900s: Horse collar in Europe900s: Solid rocket in China 1100s: Framed Bead Abacus in China1041: Movable type printing press: Bi Sheng1128: Cannon in China 1200s: Eyeglasses in Northern Italy 1200s: Mechanical clocks in Northern Italy 1200s: Sandpaper in China 1350: Suspension bridges in Peru 1441: Rain gauge: Jang Yeong-sil 1450: Alphabetic, movable type printing press1451: Concave lens for eyeglasses1498: Toothbrush in China 1510: Pocket watch1540: Ether1576: Ironclad warship1581: Pendulum1582: Gregorian calendar1589: Stocking frame1593: Thermometer1600: Musket in Europe1600: Pencil in England 1608: Telescope: Hans Lippershey 1609: Microscope: Galileo Galilei 1620: Slide rule: William Oughtred 1623: Automatic calculator1642: Adding machine1643: Barometer1645: Vacuum pump1657: Pendulum clock1672: Steam car1679: Pressure cooker1698: Steam engine1700: Piano1701: Seed drill1709: Iron smelting using coke1712: Steam piston engine1710: Thermometer1711: Tuning fork1714: Mercury thermometer1730: Mariner's quadrant1731: Sextant: John Hadley 1742: Franklin stove1752: Lightning rod1764: Spinning jenny1767: Carbonated water1769: Steam engine1769: Steam car 1776: Steamboat1777: Circular saw1783: Parachute1783: Hot air balloon1784: Bifocals1784: Argand lamp1784: Shrapnel shell1785: Power loom1785: Automatic flour mill1786: Threshing machine1793: Cotton gin1793: Optical telegraph1797: Cast iron plow1798: Vaccination1798: Lithography 1799: Seeding machine 1800: Electric battery 1802: Gas stove1804: Locomotive1808: Band saw1809: Arc lamp1811: Gun Breechloader 1814: Steam Locomotive1816: Miner's safety lamp 1816: Stethoscope1817: Kaleidoscope1819: Breech loading flintlock1821: Electric motor1823: Electromagnet1826: Photography1826: Internal combustion engine1827: Insulated wire1827: Screw propeller1827: Friction match1830: Lawn mower1831: Reaper1831: Electrical generator1834: The Hansom cab 1834: Braille system 1834: Refrigerator1834: Combine harvester1835: Photogenic Drawing1835: Revolver1835: Morse code1835: Incandescent light bulb1837: First US electric printing 1837: Steel plow1837: Camera Zoom Lens1837: Magnetic telegraph1838: Electric telegraph1839: Vulcanization of rubber1840: artificial fertilizer1842: Anaesthesia1843: Typewriter1843: Ice cream maker1845: Portland cement1845: Double tube tire 1846: Sewing machine1846: Rotary printing press1849: Safety pin1849: Francis turbine1852: Airship1852: Passenger elevator1852: Gyroscop1855: Bunsen burner1855: Bessemer process1856: First celluloids1858: Undersea telegraph cable1858: Shoe sole sewing machine1858: Mason jar1859: Oil drill1859: rechargable storage battery1860: Linoleum1860: Repeating rifle1860: Self-propelled torpedo1862: Revolving machine gun1862: Mechanical submarine1862: Pasteurization1863: Player piano1865: Roller Coaster1865: Barbed wire: Louis Jannin 1866: Dynamite1868: First practical typewriter1868: Air brake (rail)1868: Oleomargarine1869: Vacuum cleaner1870: Magic Lantern projector1870: Stock ticker 1871: Cable car (railway)1871: Compressed air rock drill1872: Adding machine1873: Railway knuckle coupler1873: Modern direct current electric motor1874: Electric street car1875: Dynamo1876: Carpet sweeper1876: Loudspeaker1877: Stapler 1877: Induction motor1877: Phonograph1877: Electric welding1877: Twine Knotter1877: Microphone1878: Cathode ray tube1878: Transparent film1879: Pelton turbine: Lester Pelton 1879: Automobile engine1879: Cash register1879: Automobile (Patent)1880: Roll film1880: Safety razor1880: Seismograph1881: Metal detector1882: Electric fan1882: Electric flat iron1883: Auto engine - compression ignition1883: two-phase (alternating current) induction motor1884: Linotype machine1884: Fountain pen1884: Punched card accounting1884: Trolley car, (electric)1885: Automobile - internal combustion engine powered 1885: Automobile, differential gear1885: Motor cycle1885: Alternating current transformer 1886: Dishwasher1887: Monotype machine1887: Contact lens1887: Gramophone record1888: Kodak hand camera1888: Ballpoint pen1888: Pneumatic tube tire1891: Automobile Storage Battery 1891: Zipper 1891: Carborundum1893: Carburetor1893: Wireless communication1893: Radio: Nikola Tesla 1894: Radio transmission1895: Diesel engine1895: Radio signals1895: Shredded Wheat1896: Steam turbine1896: Electric stove1897: Automobile, magneto1897: Modern escalator1898: tapered roller bearing1898: Remote control1899: Iron-Mercury coherer with telephone detector1899: Automobile self starter1899: Magnetic tape recorder1899: Gas turbine1900: Rigid dirigible airship1900: Self-heating can 1901: Improved wireless transmitter1901: Instant coffee 1901: Mercury vapor lamp1901: Disposable razor blade1901: Vacuum cleaner1902: Radio magnetic detector1902: Air Conditioner1902: Neon lamp1902: Radio telephone1902: Rayon 1903: Electrocardiograph (EKG)1903: Powered airplane1903: Windshield wiper 1904: Tractor 1907: Color photography1907: Helicopter1907: Radio amplifier1907: Vacuum cleaner, (electric)1907: Washing machine, (electric)1908: Cellophane1908: Geiger counter1908: Gyrocompass1908: Tea bag: Thomas Sullivan 1909: Monoplane: Henry W. Walden 1909: Bakelite1909: Gun silencer1911: Air conditioner1911: Cellophane1911: Hydroplane1913: Cracking process for Gasoline1913: Double acting wrench1913: Radio receiver, cascade tuning1913: Stainless steel1913: X-Ray 1914: Radio transmitter 1914: Liquid fuel rocket1914: Tank, military1915: Tungsten Filament1915: Searchlight arc1915: Radio tube oscillator1915: Pyrex 1916: Browning Gun1916: Thompson submachine gun1916: Incandescent gas lamp1917: Sonar echolocation1917: Cruise missile1918: Superheterodyne receiver 1918: Interrupter gear1918: Radio crystal oscillator1918: Pop-up toaster1921: Polygraph1922: Radar1922: Technicolor1922: Water skiing 1923: Sound film1923: Television Electronic1923: Wind tunnel1924: frozen food 1926: Aerosol spray 1927: Mechanical cotton picker1927: PEZ Candy1928: Sliced bread1928: Electric dry shaver1928: Antibiotics 1928: Preselector gearbox1929: Kinescope1929: X-Ray motion picture camera1930: Neoprene 1930: Nylon 1930: Underwater Motion Picture Camera1931: the Radio telescope 1931: Iconoscope 1935: microwave radar1935: Trampoline1935: Spectrophotometer1936: Pinsetter (bowling)1937: Turboprop engine1937: Jet engine 1937: O-ring1938: Ballpoint pen 1938: Fiberglass1939: FM radio1939: Helicopter1939: View-master1939: Automated teller machine1942: Bazooka Rocket Gun1942: Undersea oil pipeline1943: Aqua-Lung 1944: Electron spectrometer1945: Slinky1945: Nuclear weapons 1946: Microwave oven1946: Mobile Telephone Service1946: Computer1947: Transistor1947: Polaroid camera1948: Long Playing Record1948: Holography1949: Atomic clocks 1951: Liquid Paper1951: Nuclear power reactor1952: Optical fiber1952: Fusion bomb1952: Hovercraft1953: Medical ultrasonography 1954: Transistor radio1954: Geodesic dome1955: Velcro1955: Hair spray1955: Hard Drive1956: Digital clock 1956: Videocassette recorder1957: Bubble Wrap1958: Integrated circuit1958: Communications satellite 1959: Snowmobile1960: Laser1961: Optical disc1961: Cochlear implant1962: Light-emitting diode1962: Space observatory1963: Computer mouse1967: Automatic Teller Machine 1967: Hypertext 1968: Video game console 1969: ARPANET (first wide-area packet switching network)1971: E-mail1971: Liquid Crystal Display1971: Microprocessor 1971: Pocket calculator1971: Magnetic resonance imaging1971: Floppy Disk1972: Computed tomograph1973: Ethernet1973: Genetically modified organism1973: Personal computer1974: Rubik's Cube1974: Hybrid vehicle1975: Digital camera1976: Gore-Tex fabric1977: Personal stereo1977: Cellular mobile phone 1978: Spreadsheet1981: Scanning tunneling microscope1983: Camcorder1983: Internet: first TCP/IP network1984: Lithotripsy1985: Polymerase chain reaction1985: DNA fingerprinting1986: Breadmaker 1987: Statin1987: Digital Light Processing1990: World Wide Web1993: Global Positioning System1993: Blue LED1997: Non-mechanical Digital Audio Player1997: DVD 1997: Wi-Fi1998: Viagra2001: Digital satellite radio 2001: Self-contained Artificial heart 2002: Scramjet

What is a meme?

A comment on one of my posts got me questioning a definition.
What is a meme?

People often ask, "What is a Meme?" so here's a more than a little information on that. I pronounce it so it's rhymes with 'dream'; some pronounce it so it sounds like 'mem' (from mem-ory).
First off, technically most of the sites here are not memes. The fact that most of these sites create new questions all the time removes the whole evolving viral concept of a meme. But most people call them that and I liked the word 'meme' so I used meme.

In the context of web logs / 'blogs / blogging and other kinds of personal web sites it's some kind of list of questions that you saw somewhere else and you decided to answer the questions. Then someone else sees them and does them and so on and so on. I generally consider these to be actual questions and not some multiple choice quizzes that determine some result at the end (what color you are most like, what cartoon character are you, what 80s movie are you).
By some other definitions memes are viral and propagate around sometimes mutating as they propagate. Someone proposed something along the lines of some blog posts are viral, they write about something they see on one blog and the next person does the same sometimes their interpretation varies slightly changing the story (I cannot find this original reference).
Eventually some people decided they were going to creating weekly questionnaires (memes) and post them every week. Some are monthly, a few are daily and some are always there. Some suggest that you get five other people to do the same meme and they have to get five people (and so on), which sometimes increases their propagation. This probably stunts their mutated growth, having a permanent storage place where people go to find them but many people copy them from the site where they see it and they'll still change a bit.
Personally I liked these sites; sometimes they give me things to write about that I would have never started the topic on my own. So I started collecting them here at The Daily Meme http://thedailymeme.com/.

A meme is:
An idea that, like a gene, can replicate and evolve.
A unit of cultural information that represents a basic idea that can be transferred from one individual to another, and subjected to mutation, crossover and adaptation.
A cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultural counterpart of genes".

Origins of the word
The term and concept of meme is from the 1976 book by Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene. Though Dawkins defined the meme as "a unit of cultural transmission, or a unit of imitation," memeticists vary in their definitions of meme. The lack of a consistent, rigorous definition of what precisely a meme is remains one of the principal criticisms leveled at memetics, the study of memes. (from the Wikipedia)

Bottom line: a meme is all about me -- me, I say!

And even more Civil War medicine

Treating War's Wounds: Innovations in Medicine from the Civil War
Case 697, Private Dennis Driscoll
Just days before the Civil War's end, twenty-two-year-old Private Dennis Driscoll was shot in battle near Fort Stedman, Virginia. A musket ball had entered the soldier's right thigh, striking the tailbone before finally lodging in the gluteus maximus. He was transported to Stanton Hospital on March 25, 1865, arriving five days later. According to the records, the shock from the injury was small. A caregiver noted, "The patient complained of no other inconvenience than pain and tenderness....with a persistent tendency to evacuate the bowels."
During the weeks following, little change was observed in Private Driscoll's condition. His pulse and bladder function were normal, and though confined to the hospital, he was described as being "hopeful." His wound was treated with cold-water dressings and periodically discharged an unpleasant pus.
A little more than two weeks from the time he was admitted however, Driscoll's wound began to show signs of irritation and infection. The exact location of the musket ball was initially uncertain and no attempt to retrieve it had been made. With time the leaden ball became more and more distinct as the area around it reddened. Determined to remove the musket ball, Surgeon B.B. Wilson chloroformed his patient and made an incision over its point of lodgment. In a later case study he wrote, "But the missile, which was distinctly felt previous to the incision, could not be found." Several attempts were made to grasp it, but to no avail.
Strangely enough, the ball was found the following morning in the patient's bed, having "gravitated out during the night." Despite being rid of the ball, pain and tenderness extended over the whole of Private Driscoll's abdomen. Five days after the attempted surgery, the infection spread to the blood and symptoms worsened. Twenty-seven days after receiving the wound, and more than two weeks after the Civil War had ended, Driscoll eventually lost his battle with infection. An autopsy revealed "marked cystitis and peritonitis, with commencing gangrene" as the cause of death.
War's Wounds: Innovations in Medicine from the Civil War
Dr. Mary Walker,Assistant Surgeon of the Civil War
Dr. Mary Walker was the only woman formally appointed as assistant surgeon during the Civil War. Known for her resolute determination to provide care for the wounded and her unapologetic habit of wearing men's pants, Dr. Walker frequently encountered skeptics who doubted the capabilities of women surgeons.
During the war and in the years following, she became a spokesperson for gender equity and dress reform, and was featured on the cover of a London newspaper in her surgeon's uniform. On the difficulty of receiving a formal appointment as assistant surgeon she wrote, "I confess myself unable to see how respectable men can allow a laundress to go with their regiment, and shake their wise heads at the respectability of an educated lady acting as surgeon." Dr. Walker volunteered her medical services for more than two years before receiving an appointment to the 52nd Ohio Regiment as an assistant surgeon, which she served until the war's end.
The war provided a unique opportunity for Walker and other female caregivers to enter into roles that had previously been exclusive to males. She remains today the only female recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor.


Treating War's Wounds: Innovations in Medicine from the Civil War
Pain Management and Embalming
The Ether Mask and Pain Management The use of general anesthetic was common during the Civil War. Among the most frequently used drugs to treat pain were chloroform, ether, opium and alcohol. Official records of the Union Army indicate that more than 80 tons of opium were prescribed during the war, though at times surgeons ran out due to problems with communication and supply.
Chloroform and ether, found after the war to be toxic, were frequently used to render a patient unconscious prior to surgery. To help the patient more easily breathe the anesthetic, an ether-soaked cloth would be placed in a metal mask and held over the patient's nose and mouth. Because most surgeries at the time were brief, there was little time for the toxicity of these drugs to build to a dangerous level. In an effort to dispel the anesthetic, post-operative patients were removed from the hospital tent, or fanned to "purge" the lungs of the substance.
Such widespread use of anesthetics, and the detailed medical records that emerged from their use led to an improved understanding of pain management among practitioners of medicine.
Early Injecting Syringe The need to alleviate pain led to advances in ways of administering medicines, especially morphine and opium. These drugs had previously been given by mouth or applied topically to the site of the wound. Introduced during the Civil War, Wood's endermic syringe allowed surgeons to deliver drugs more effectively, close to the wound and just beneath a patient's skin.
The requests of families to have the bodies of their loved ones transported home for proper memorial services made it necessary for a system of preservation to be developed. Using creosote or chloride of zinc dissolved in alcohol, the embalming surgeon would inject these fluids into the femoral artery of the deceased to prevent the body from decomposing. It was also customary to transport bodies in metallic burial cases, or heavy wooden boxes lined with zinc plates to maintain the integrity of the corpse. Public pressure demanded the ascendancy of the profession of mortuary science.

Treating War's Wounds: Innovations in Medicine from the Civil War
Female Caregivers
Prior to the Civil War, women were effectively excluded from most roles outside the home, including nursing. Dressing wounds, administering medicine and caring for patients were considered functions of male nursing personnel. Overwhelming casualties motivated many women to assist in the war effort by volunteering as nurses. This charitable extension of their home "duties" was often looked down upon and deemed "unladylike."
Nevertheless, many women refused to let the prevailing social attitudes influence their ability and desire to care for the wounded. Various women's aid societies such as the Sisters of the Holy Cross and the Daughters of Charity were organized to provide some relief to the over-burdened Civil War Surgeon. Anne Wittenmeyer, who formed one of the first such aid societies, was formally appointed Relief Director for Iowa. She converted a Mississippi River steamboat into a hospital ship which came under fire at Vicksburg. Still, the all-male Iowa Sanitary Commission introduced a bill to repeal the law which authorized the appointment of women commissioners, on the grounds that Wittenmeyer and other women wasted supplies and were "by the nature endowed on them by the Creator unfitted to the position." The bill was subsequently defeated.
In 1861, the Secretary of War appointed Dorothea Dix as Superintendent of Women Nurses for the Union Army. Before the war's end, an estimated 6,000 women had served as nurses for the Union Army. The substantial contributions of women during the war significantly advanced their subsequent involvement in the work place, especially in the field of health care.
In 1865, the United States Army originated the first ambulance service in the U.S. The mission of the service was to decrease mortality rates on the battle field. By the late 1800s, ambulance services in U.S. cities such as New York, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis began as hospital-based operations.

More Civil War Medicine

Assistant Surgeon’s archive, William King, 124th Indiana
Sunday January 07th 2007, 8:23 pm Filed under: Surgery, Indiana
A surgeon in the 124th Indiana, William King’s Civil War service was at its most intense during the Atlanta Campaign, when his regiment was almost continuously engaged. Five of the ten letters that survive document that campaign in serial fashion, beginning with a letter mentioning the rough field hospitals that dotted Tennessee in 1864 and 1865, a harbinger of things to come. The letters that follow document the mechanical, unstoppable force that was Sherman’s army.
May 21, 1864: “Two weeks ago the great fight commenced and we have been in line of battle or on the march guarding trains ever since… We have driven the rebels from their fortifications and have been all this week following them up and fighting them as we go. They will probably make a stand twenty miles from here and give us another battle. The boys have marched hard… We are encamped in the most beautiful country but is desolated by an immense army. The most of the people have gone and left their splendid homes to be ransacked by soldiers. The little village of Cassville near which we are encamped is a beautiful town but the houses are torn down, fences destroyed, and everything laid waste. I have seen enough of war to make me ardently hope for a final close to it.”
June 15, near Dallas, Ga.: “We are gradually passing down into the open country pushing the rebels before us. We are all anxious that they shall make a final stand and let us fight it through, but they do not seem disposed to do so. They get into their strong holds in the mountains and we have to flank them and then they fall back again and so it has been for weeks fighting more or less every day… There has been almost continual skirmishing amounting to considerable fights at times. Killed and wounded are brought in every day. We have field hospitals and hospitals back six miles on the rail road but these are miserable places and a sick man stands a poor chance here…”
June 23: “The rebel prisoners that I have seen are all large fine looking and healthy men. They don’t look much like being starved. I think what starving is done is on our side. Our boys are nearly all the time on short rations and they would give any thing almost for sow belly as they call it, as they draw none of it, but get fresh beef instead. I do not eat the beef as it is poor and badly butchered…”
July 25: “We are laying in front of Atlanta throwing shells into the city occasionally and expecting to attack it. We crossed the Chattahoochie River on the 8th of the month and have after the Rebs ever since. Our Regiment are now in fortifications immediately in front and in sight of the town. We are continually exchanging artillery shots and skirmishing, although neither party are loosing many men for several days… I was in our breastworks day before yesterday on Co. I of our Regiment when one of the boys was shot by a sharp shooter through the breast and killed immediately. I was standing near enough to touch him when he was killed…”
Oct. 17: “We have had a lively campaign so far, with short rations and no baggage. We started from Decatur on the 5th of this month and having been going ever since except two days… We were sent with our Brigade to reinforce the garrison at Altoona, but got there just after the fight was over. The fight there was one of the brightest pages in the history of this war. The garrison lost 33 per cent of their whole number. They killed and wounded more than their whole number. We had to take in the wounded and dead rebs for several days after the fight. The rebs have left the railroad here and it is supposed have gone south again… we have been chasing them for ten weeks. We caught up with them near Rome and our Corps was sent after them. We captured two cannon & a lot of butternuts. I dressed the wounds of four that were badly wounded. We had about thirty prisoners all together. These are all we have had the pleasure of seeing yet. They were only a brigade that had been left to match our army…”
The Civil War surgeon went to work immediately, hoping to finish before the drug wore off.
Sunday December 03rd 2006, 4:45 pm Filed under: Doctor, Surgery
Surgeons and amputations during the Civil War
“At the time of the Civil War, ether or chloroform or a mixture of the two was administered by an assistant, who placed a loose cloth over the patient’s face and dripped some anesthetic onto it while the patient breathed deeply. When given this way, the initial effects are a loss of consciousness accompanied by a stage of excitement . . . . The Civil War surgeon went to work immediately, hoping to finish before the drug wore off. Although the excited patient was unaware of what was happening and felt no pain, he would be agitated, moaning or crying out, and thrashing about during the operation. He had to be held still by assistants so the surgeon could continue.” Bollet, (p. 32).
It is commonly believed that most Civil War surgeons were simply butchers, amputating arms and legs unnecessarily oftentimes. This popular misconception is partially due to movies and film depicting gross scenes of amputations performed by rogue surgeons against the screaming wishes of his patient as the doctor amputates a bleeding leg. Though grotesque scenes such as these make for good cinema, it was hardly the typical experience during the Civil War.
Dr. Alfred Bollet dispels several myths about surgery during the Civil War in his fine article (The Truth about Civil War Surgery) in the October 2004 issue of Civil War Times. Bollet explains how surgeons had other procedures they could use besides amputation, how surgery was almost always done with anesthesia, that most wounds were not just to arms and legs, and that not every surgeon had the authority to amputate. To be sure, there were some isolated incidences of surgery done without anesthesia (for example at Iuka, Mississippi on September 17, 1862) and/or cases where an amputation was not necessary. But medical scholars and historians attest that the surgical care provided by doctors to soldiers during the Civil War was very good for its time. This is all the more remarkable when we realize that little was known about germs, and the spread of infection, and drugs were nearly non-existent in the 1860s. Perhaps a major reason why it was commonly believed, especially by soldiers, is because of how little soldiers knew about anesthesia back then. Bollet writes:
“At the time of the Civil War, ether or chloroform or a mixture of the two was administered by an assistant, who placed a loose cloth over the patient’s face and dripped some anesthetic onto it while the patient breathed deeply. When given this way, the initial effects are a loss of consciousness accompanied by a stage of excitement . . . . The Civil War surgeon went to work imediately, hoping to finish before the drug wore off. Although the excited patient was unaware of what was happening and felt no pain, he would be agitated, moaning or crying out, and thrashing about during the operation. He had to be held still by assistants so the surgeon could continue.” Bollet, (p. 32).
Most amputations performed during the Civil War were necessary to save the life of the soldier. Wounds caused by bullets and artillery normally shattered the bone. The only recourse for most soldiers, if they wanted to live, would be to have the shattered bone or limb removed. The closer the amputation occurred to the trunk of the soldier the more likely it was for a soldier to not survive the operation. The fatality rate for soldiers who received an amputation was around 25% overall. Those who did die after amputation often did so because of infection, complications or because the wound was too severe to be able to survive.

Medical Care during the Civil War

Gangrene and GloryMedical Care DuringThe American Civil WarFrank R. Freemon(Illinois)
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into war again, along comes Gangrene and Glory which describes, in disgusting detail, the quality of medical care during the American Civil War. It wasn't just having an arm or a leg or a head ripped off by a shell --- it was yellow fever, malaria, small pox, typhoid, dysentery, scurvy, measles, "black" gangrene, and infections from being in the hospital.
Out of a total of 2,400,000 soldiers that were mustered up on both sides, mortality figures reached over 600,000. The death rate in battle was moderate --- it was the subsequent devastation of disease, infection in hospitals, and doctors ignorant of sanitation, that killed the larger number of soldiers.
Gangrene and Glory is physically a klunky work. The book design is like something they'd hand out to you in Nathan Hall High for your 10th grade English composition workbook. In addition, it is quite scattered. It goes into great detail about the lives and education of various doctors, lists American Medical Schools in 1860 (there were slightly more than four score), and contains a number of rather peculiar tables: "Union Doctors Released at the Winchester Accord," "Support Hospitals for the Army of Tennessee," "Workers at Chimsborazo Hospital, January 1863" [166 Hospital Stewards, 58 cooks, 123 Laundry Workers], and "Confederate Medical Appropriations."
It is, thus, not at all like reading Barbara Ward, Winston Churchill or Thomas Babington Macaulay. But some of the quotes from those who lived through it are genuine show-stoppers. This from a doctor William Morton, receiving the wounded at Fredericksburg:
It is the most sickening sight of the war, this tide of wounded flowing back. One has a shattered arm, and the sling in which he carries it is the same bloody rag the surgeon gave him the day of battle; another has his head seamed and bandaged so you can scarcely see it, and he weaves like a drunken man as he drags along through the hot sun; another has his shoe cut off, and a great roll of rags around his foot, and he leans heavily on a rough cane broken from a pine tree; another breathes painfully and holds his hand to his side, where you see a ragged rent in his blouse; another sits by a puddle, dipping water on a wounded leg, which , for want of dressing since the battle, had become inflamed; another lies on a plot of grass by the roadside, with his browned face turned full to the sun, and he sleeps.
The photographs, etchings, and drawings, as badly reproduced as they are, almost make up for the lack of structure. Once again, they seem random: a map of the medical evacuation routs out of Wilderness, North Anna, and Cold Harbor. A portrait of Charles K. Irwin, surgeon for the Excelsior Brigade. A model of the Joseph K Barnes, a U. S. Army hospital sidewheeler transport. A photograph of Edward D Bemis "who received his third wound of the war on 5 February 1865." Two views of an unnamed southern woods contain a random collection of skull and bones lying among the twigs and leaves. Under it, this ad hoc commentary: "The posture of the leg bones makes one wonder if the soldier had both legs crushed. Perhaps he crawled to this place and was burned to death by the fire that swept through the Wilderness that horrible night in May of 1864."
The portraits of the surgeons general look like they just got out of prison (or out of bed). The reference books they used were quite direct. Those soldiers who claimed to be sick were cowards:
In cases of doubt, it is always safest to assume the disease as feigned, rather than real.
The textbook drawings of procedures for amputation are alarming enough so that if you lived in Newport News, New Haven, Boston or Charleston in 1863, and if you were of draft age --- you would have been best off taking the next steamer to Canada.
Many commentators have pointed out that the American Civil War, like the Spanish American War and WWI, came about more through happenstance, bad timing, and an innocent and naive populace, rather than through political necessity. Now as then, a bit of jingoism serves to enhance the image of those in power, gives a shot to the nation's economy, and offers economic juice those who have --- as opposed to those who have nothing. Wars scarcely benefit the populace at large; are, indeed, somewhat detrimental to the well-being of young men who are young enough to be of service to their country.
Edmund Wilson's justly famous Introduction to Patriotic Gore should convince anyone who has romantic ideas about war in general and the Civil War in particular that there was a special bloodiness on the battlefields that was unheard of in previous wars. It was thus a strong foreshadowing of what was to come in the trenches of Ypres.
In the early days of the Civil War, elegant picnics were held on bluffs overlooking the battlefields, so that the on-lookers could watch the mayhem through their binoculars while sipping cider and eating fried chicken. An exceptional return on invested dollar came to those who supplied the guns, uniforms, ammunition, foodstuffs, and transportation to both sides. If you were rich, you could even pay for someone less well off to fight your war for you.
We suspect it hasn't changed all that much. Young men with no assets --- usually black or Mexican American --- who long to escape from the vicious culture of the streets are seduced into the military with a promise of a living wage, education and "computer skills." Theirs are the bodies that are placed on the firing lines: certainly no President, Senator, or Representative would volunteer for service in the field, ducking missiles and anthrax bombs. They always prefer to watch the war they declared from the safety of their living rooms, making for them what Michael Arlen called "A Living Room War."
If one has any doubt about the profitability for certain businesses and stockholders --- especially for our newest venture --- one merely has to consult the pages of Businessweek, the Wall Street Journal, Barrons, or the financial pages of the local newspaper to see stocks being touted that will profit investors the most during times of war and biological terrorism: Lockheed-Martin, Wackenhut, Boeing, United Technologies, Honeywell, and the manufacturer of Cipro, Bayer.
The world, once again, gets to be made safe for democracy. Those who run the country get to lay their assets on the line, in hopes that they will skyrocket. Those who don't have the wherewithal will have to be content with merely laying their asses on the line.

--- F. J. Wirth

another time line

1861 Western Union builds the first transcontinental telegraph line.
1862 Abbe Giovanni Caselli invents the "pantelegraph," the first instrument to transmit a still image over wires.
Oliver Wendell Holmes (Sr.) and Joseph Bates create the Holmes stereo viewer, an advancement on Sir Charles Wheatstone's 1838 invention. By the turn of the century Underwood & Underwood is producing 100,000 viewers year.
1865 Basing his work on Faraday's, James Clerk Maxwell develops a theory predicting the existence of electromagnetic radiation.
Caselli's pantelegraph transmits images between Paris and Lyon.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell receives Patent Number 174,465 covering “The method of, and apparatus for, transmitting vocal or other sounds telegraphically . . . by causing electrical undulations, similar in form to the vibrations of the air accompanying the said vocal or other sounds.”
Emile Berliner invents a transmitter for Bell's telephone, which will increase the volume of the transmitted voice.
1877 George Carey puts forward drawings for what he called a "selenium camera" that would allow people to "see by electricity."
German physicist Eugen Goldstein coins the term "cathode rays" to describe the light emitted when an electric current is forced through a vacuum tube.
Thomas Edison patents the phonograph and establishes the Edison Speaking Phonograph Company.
Alexander Graham Bell and two investors, Gardiner C. Hubbard and Thomas Sanders, form the Bell Telephone Company, which they sell the next year to a group of financiers.
1878 Eadweard Muybridge photographs a horse in motion.
William Crookes confirmed the existence of cathode rays by building a tube to display them in.
The first telephone exchange in the United States opens in New Haven, Ct., under license from Bell Telephone.
Thomas Edison forms the Edison Electric Light Company.
1879 Edison applies for a patent for an incandescent light bulb.
1880 Muybridge's Zoopraxiscope projects photographic images in motion.
1883 George Eastman creates film in roll form, which allows multiple exposures with a single loading, and founds the Eastman Company.
1884 Paul Nipkow creates a design for sending images over wires using a rotating metal disk technology. There were no working models.
Bell Telephone's first long distance telephone line, between Boston and New York City, opens. Emile Berliner speaks at the opening ceremonies.
1885 American Bell Telephone Co. creates American Telephone & Telegraph for its long distance business.
1886 George Westinghouse incorporates the Westinghouse Electric Company, which will construct and market alternating current (ac) electrical systems.
1887 Heinrich Hertz is the first to broadcast and receive radio waves, confirming James Clerk Maxwell's calculations.
1888 Thomas Edison's phonograph is manufactured for sale to the public.
The Kodak camera goes on sale, preloaded with 100 exposures, no viewfinder or focus, and meant to be sent back to Kodak for developing and reloading.
Oberlin Smith publishes a description of magnetic recording in Electrical World; it is not known if he created a working model of his drawings.
1889 The first commercial transparent roll film, perfected by George Eastman, goes on the market.
Louis Glass and William S. Arnold place a coin-operated Edison cylinder phonograph in the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco, patenting it as the Nickel-in-the-Slot (U.S. 428,750).
Public telephone stations are available.
Columbia Phonograph Co. issues a one-page music record catalog.

Wells Fargo

In 1852 Henry Wells and William Fargo established the Wells Fargo Stagecoach Company in San Francisco. The two men purchased Concord coaches built by the Abbott-Downing Company in New Hampshire. The coaches varied in size and could seat six, nine or twelve passengers. The larger coaches could carry up to a dozen men on the roof. The coaches were pulled by four or six-horse teams. Next to the driver at the front would sit an armed guard.
The coaches had leather storage compartments (boots) at the front and back of the coach. The compartment under the driver's seat usually carried the strong box where the passengers kept their money and valuables. The larger boot at the back carried the mail and the bags of the passengers.
These stagecoaches were sometimes stopped and robbed by outlaws. The most successful of these outlaws was Charles Bolton (Black Bart) who during a six year period held up 30 coaches. Others involved in stagecoach robberies included Jessie James, Frank James, Cole Younger, Bob Younger and James Younger,
By the 1880 the Wells Fargo Stagecoach Company had 573 offices and agents. It was now the most powerful stagecoach company in the American West. However, it began to invest in railroad companies and in 1888 Wells Fargo established the first transcontinental express via rail.

The Blizzard of 1888

The worst blizzard in history to hit the eastern United States occurred on March 11th and 12th 1888. This storm wreaked havoc from Maine to New Jersey, with some areas receiving 50 inches of snow.

The greatest snow accumulated in central New England, and the greatest consequence was borne on New York City. About 400 people tragically lost their lives. The storm quickly became known as The Blizzard of 1888 or The Great White Hurricane.

Weather forecasting was inaccurate in 1888. The Blizzard of 1888 was not predicted, and as people went about their normal lives, a massive storm struck without warning. Rain quickly turned to sleet then heavy snow. Trains loaded with passengers were stranded on the tracks. People weary of losing their jobs went to work in defiance of the storm, and a few were frozen to death while attempting to return home. In some rural areas people were stranded in their homes for nearly two weeks.

New York City was slammed by the blizzard. Telegraph lines collapsed due to the weight of ice. Communication was knocked out internally, as well as the long distance lines from from Boston to Philadelphia. Food and fuel was scarce. Before refrigeration, fresh food was brought into the city every day. Transportation of needed food supplies was impacted for several days. People wandered the streets searching for shops that may still have coal so they could heat their homes.

About 35 inches of snow fell on New York City, with seven foot drifts commonplace.The August 1888 issue of New England Magazine describes the storm:: "The blizzard of 12th and 13th of March last is something to be remembered as long as [one] lives by everyone who shared in its unparalleled experiences. The only remnant of consolatory reflection it left behind was that it occurred in the middle of March, instead of middle of January. With the style of weather that made fully three-fourths of the latter month so unpleasantly memorable, there would have been no hopes of clearing up the country for inter-communication until after the bulk of people had died of cold or starvation.Boston itself was not a severe sufferer by this terrible aerial visitor. It was the country around north, east, and west whose experiences filled all minds with the astonishment, and almost appalled one with apprehensions of the willfulness of the elements. New York's case, however, was wholly exceptional and anomalous. It was as much cut off from the continent as if had for the time been towed out into the middle of the Atlantic. Nothing but time, aided by an elevating temperature, was equal to the serious task of effecting its release. The blizzard covered, in its whirl of wind and rain and snow, the entire territory of the eastern United States, and waltzed off into the stormy Atlantic, to hide itself, after the mischief it had done, in the cave of Aeolus [Keeper of the Winds]. The storms since the warm season commenced, also, have been somewhat uncommon in the extent of the electrical disturbance."

The largest cities on the eastern seaboard learned from the Blizzard of 1888. Telegraph lines were placed underground, subways were constructed to replace many surface street car lines, and weather balloons were employed to aid in weather forecasting..

A History of a Telephone Company

The Leadville Telephone Company
Location: Leadville, CO
Started: 1882
Sold to/Ended: Purchased by Colorado Telephone Co., 1888
History:Between them, Horace Tabor and his first wife, Augusta, owned 2,660 shares of the 2,672 shares of stock issued by the Leadville company. The company seal featuring embossed, crossed long-pole telephone receivers and the certificate�s vignette of a long pole receiver on a bell/magneto box with a Blake transmitter and telephone lines are unique first-rate, custom-designed items which is typical for a Tabor endeavor. When the beautiful Baby Doe came into his life, Tabor gave half of his holdings, including the Leadville Telephone Company, to Augusta in a divorce settlement. Augusta took the money and moved to California. Tabor married Baby Doe in the White House (he was a U.S. Senator from Colorado). They moved to Denver and lived a lavish life as exemplified by the sumptuous Tabor Opera House. The Silver Panic of 1893 caused Tabor to lose nearly all of his fortune. In the end, he died nearly a pauper, holding a patronage job as the Denver postmaster. Legend says that with his last breath, he told Baby Doe, "Never give up the Matchless," his original Leadville mine. Baby Doe Tabor died 35 years later, a lonely recluse living in a cabin at the abandoned Matchless mine. Augusta died a millionaire in California. The Leadville Telephone Company played an important role in telephone history. After buying the Leadville company in 1888, Colorado Telephone decided to connect Colorado's two largest cities, Leadville and Denver. It was no small venture. The connecting telephone toll line had to go over the 13,180-foot Mosquito Pass. A telephone line had never been built at this altitude, and the first three attempts were failures. The lightweight poles, which were the only poles mules and horses could carry up the mountain, just couldn�t hold up under the wind, ice, snow and rockslides that occur constantly at that altitude. The toll line was finally 'installed' by laying insulated wire on the ground. The result was functional, but not very satisfactory. As a result of the 'Leadville Line' experience, telephone engineers came up with the heavy-duty 'H' fixture telephone pole configuration it took to carry telephone wires over the Rockies. The 'H' fixture became the unique recognition sign of the Colorado Telephone Company and its successor, Mountain States Telephone & Telegraph Co. (as can be seen in the Allen True mural featured in the outside lobby of the MST&T Headquarters Building in Denver, and the MST&T stock certificate vignette).

A History of Safe Cracking

It never ceases to amaze me what you can find on the big www.

A concise history of safebreaking
www.safeman.org.uk
Unfair Tactics
The Department of Dirty Tricks
'Conduct unbecoming' might be a more apt title to the slanging matches and feud which waged between two of the leading safemakers, Thomas Milner and George Price in the 1850's. What started it is uncertain but it probably came about from the publication of George Price's Treatise on Fire and Thief-Proof Depositories and Locks and Keys. This 1,000 page book which was published in 1856 included many testimonials on the results of fire tests including those of his main competitor, Thomas Milner. Price suggested that some of the testimony regarding the fire-resisting potential of Milner's safes was false, making erroneous statements and full of contradictions, misrepresentations, and mistruths.
Apart from this Milner must also have bristled at the fact that Price's safes now incorporated Milner's recently expired patent for steam-generating fire-resisting compound.
When Price was about to hold an auction of his latest range of safes in Manchester in 1855, a horse-drawn lorry appeared outside the saleroom entrance on which stood one of Milner's best "Strong Holdfast Safes" in mint condition, alongside which stood one of Price's safes - totally mutilated. According to Price the safe had been dismembered at Milner's factory in Liverpool. It was subsequently placed on display in the window of Milner's depot in Manchester.
Then followed a series of challenges for public testing of safes against both fire and force culminating in what became known as the infamous Burnley test. For this test George Price offered up two of his best safes which were available to any member of the public to attempt. Because of what he called manufacturing errors Price temporarily withdrew his safes as he felt that they were capable of taking too large a charge of gunpowder. Then, on the 30th. of April 1860 the second test took place on which occasion Milners turned up with a safe of their own which they wished to have included in the test.
Mr.Freestone, a pawnbroker from Nottingham who apparently bore some grudge against Price appeared from the crowd with all the necessary gunpowder and made to place his charge. This he failed to do as the lock would not contain the amount of gunpowder he had expected. Milner's safe was then prepared by Price's assistant, the resultant explosion blowing the door entirely off its hinges. Although fitted with the 'double patent gunpowder-proof solid lock', a hole had been drilled through the door plate in just over seven minutes and through which about 12 ounces of powder was poured into the cavity of the wooden filling which accommodated the movement of the main bolts.
Milners men then attempted to drill through the door of Price's safe with an elaborate mechanism attached around the body of the safe. This also met with failure as did the attempt to dislodge the case-hardened spindle in an attempt to find access for another charge of gunpowder.
As the trial had ended, Price and his men left the ground at which point Milner's men produced an old model double-door Price safe which had been made five years earlier and which incorporated none of the recent improvements. The lock of this safe which had no provision for limiting the amount of charge seems to have been pre-packed with gunpowder and taken back into the yard while the crowd was dispersing. The charge was indeed excessive and the safe disintigrated. The remaining crowd had only been expecting an explosion similar to that which had opened the Milner and had taken no additional steps to protect themselves. As a result of this irresponsible act, a young boy was struck by a piece of the safe and killed.
Although Price and Milner were said to be full of remorse, little subsequently changed in their attitude to each other.
While there are no doubt many other examples of ungentlemanly conduct in the industry, the case of Ratcliff & Horner versus Samuel Chatwood of Chatwood Patent Safe and Lock Company is worthy of note. Ratcliff & Horner, the last prominent safemaker to be founded in the 19th.Century, was started in 1888 by Daniel Ratcliff, Milner's son-in-law, and Douglas Horner Milner's Works Manager. They brought with them from Liverpool experienced safe engineers and opened their factory in Bromley-by Bow, East London. The name was changed to Ratner in 1895.
Their thief-resisting safe stated on the door that it was made of 'Hardened Congreave Safe Steel' which was absolutely undrillable. It appears that Chatwoods managed to drill the door of such a safe to which Ratcliff & Horner responded by saying that they must have pre-softened the plate by heat before drilling. This eventually ended up in December 1892 in the High Court of Justice which found for the defendents Chatwood, awarding costs of £600.
Ratcliff & Horner responded with an attack on one of Chatwood's best quality safes and printed the results for distribution to their agents.
Chatwood's Safe
Opened by forcing screw in less than three hours,without noise.
The attached woodcut was taken from a photo representing a Chatwood Safe opened by forcing screw. This safe was purchased direct from Chatwood Safe Co.early last year. It was a List 5 Quality and measured 28"x22"x22" outside and this small safe cost £36. It was described as a Chatwood Patent Fire Fall and Burglarproof safe with Chatwood Patent Sliding Claw Bolts and has been stated by Chatwood Safe Company that safes sold by them as Burglar Proof are absolutely Burglar Proof and cannot be drilled, opened, or forced, or the security thereof destroyed by any known means. This safe was operated upon in the basement of a warehouse in the presence of fourteen persons, some of whom are well known engineers and are independent and disinterested witnesses. Two men were engaged in the work and three 3/4"holes were drilled and tapped by hand, each hole taking about 20 minutes including the time allotted to fixing the drilling tackle, one drill only being used and without being reground. In little less than 3 hours, by means of a forcing screw, the door was torn open and thrown back. As a matter of fact,within 42 minutes of the forcing screw being applied, the door was opened sufficiently to admit of a man's arm being easily inserted in the safe. The safe was therefore to all intents and purposes opened in 2 hours. The whole of the tools used to open the safe weighed 85 lbs. and are similar to those which were employed by burglars some time since, when a safe was opened and almost £400 taken out of it. The operation was carried out almost noiselessly and no technical knowledge required.Oct.23rd 1893
Chatwood, not surprisingly, took steps to minimise the effects of the above by testing and publicising their own more up-to-date model as shown below. Unfortunately their report and timings are not available but it would not be surprising to learn that they failed to effect an opening of the door. It is likely that in this more up-to-date model, wrought iron had been replaced by steel.
The loose tools scattered in front of the safe comprise the ratchet drill with attachments to bore the fixing holes which in turn would be tapped to take the attaching bolts for the forcing screw. There is also a large selection of steel wedges which would have been applied in increasing thickness to any gaps created to assist the extraction of the door.
This unique tool was also known in France where it was called 'le pont'. A method similar to this has been used in recent years later using a combination of electric-arc welding and hydraulic jacks.
Straightforward challenges between manufacturers were not unknown as in the case of Silas C. Herring and Samuel Chatwood at the Paris Exhibition of 1867 but even this turned out to have more than its fair share of dirty tricks and devious practices.

'Battle of the Safes' Safe-Breaking Contest - Paris Exhibition 1867
One of the exhibitors at the Exhibition, Silas C.Herring, Safemaker of New York, placed a notice on his Bankers Safe challenging any other safe exhibited. This was taken up by Samuel Chatwood on condition that only conventional safe breakers appliances would be used. On the day of the test Chatwood's men brought such tools including hammers, wedges, and a sectional bolt-together jemmy. Herring, who for reasons unknown, had engaged German operatives, brought a massive array of tools including a screw frame with ratchet drill, 20lb.sledge hammer, 20lb.steel wedges, and six foot long crowbars weighing in all a total 469 lbs. For their part, Chatwood's tools only weighed 145 lbs. The adjudicators had Herring's total reduced by half but still retaining the tools mentioned.
Between the time of the agreement and the date of the test, Herring appended a codicil to the effect that the subject of the attack was to be the small internal chest. Chatwood had not expected to have to open two safes, only the one to which the challenge had been attached. The committee however, which comprised two Americans, two Englishmen, a French non-English speaking chairman and an American secretary/interpreter and it was decided that the test should proceed, even with everything being weighed in the favour of the Americans.
It was probably Samuel Chatwood's ego which made him accept the situation when general opinion was in favour of the challenge being cancelled and even that Chatwood should be awarded the prize without the test having to take place.
The test began at two forty-five p.m. and lasted for five hours with a brief interval for refreshments. The Germans aborted their lock-picking tactics in favour of an attempt to drill through the door. The screw frame and drill were attached but they were unable to penetrate the 'intersected' steel. After many drills were destroyed they abandoned the door and tried to open up a corner joint at the front of the body but this also failed. Eventually they employed their heaviest wedges, 'cold setts', and the 20lb. sledge hammer to cut open the dovetail joint on the right hand side of the safe. With the aid of the six foot crowbar, they exposed a sufficient area of the protection to eventually smash a hole into the interior of the safe large enough to admit the 'parallelepiped' or test block. The time taken was 232 minutes.
Chatwood's operatives - his own employees - began by wedging along the mid-meeting point of the doors (it was a double-door safe). Within 29 minutes they had opened both doors. In other words they had forced open the original safe as specified in Herring's published challenge with nothing other than ordinary burglar's appliances in less than half an hour.
They then had the task of applying themselves to the inner chest, or coffer, which, being enclosed within the main body of the safe and underneath shelves, cupboards, and partitions, was, as Chatwood himself stated, " not well be got at". They then set about wedging the triple walls of plate which they succeeded in doing to the extent that an opening was created which permitted a hand to remove any contents. This however was not sufficiently large to admit the test block. As the hour was now late, the committee decided that the test should be carried over until the following morning despite the fact that a few more blows would have completed the job.
Within four minutes of restarting they had completed the total removal and destruction of the front of the Herring chest. The total times were, for the safe as challenged - 29 minutes. For the chest - 225 minutes, making a total time of 254 minutes. Herring's attack on the Chatwood took 232 minutes.
The judgement took place at two meetings of the Americans and French without the knowledge of the two English arbitors who it appears had previosly withdrawn on their discovery after the test that Herring's drawings, submitted along with Chatwood's beforehand, contained serious errors and omissions of a character designed to mislead Chatwood and his men. Furthermore it was revealed that the American committee members had, in their absence, been in improper communication with M.Douliot, the chairman, whose utter ignorance of the English language placed him entirely at their mercy. The judgement however was in favour of Herring.
At a subsequent Tribunal of First Instance in Paris the following year, the above judgement was declared null and void, with Herring having to bear the costs.
The Chatwood safe tested was the Septuple Patent in which the filling between the dovetailed 1/2" plates was probably of haematite iron and more prone to shattering than the 'spiegeleisen' which was patented in 1868 and incorporated in the Octuple Patent, which was still a square dovetailed body and with sliding claw boltwork. The specification is described under the catagory of List 8 in the year 1880 and it is mentioned that it is superior to the 1867 version of the Paris test.

The Wit of Jane Austen

August 19, 2005
Jane Austen

it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man is in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.
A woman, especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.
An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done.
Business, you know, may bring you money, but friendship hardly ever does.
Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?
From politics, it was an easy step to silence.
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of.
I am afraid that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety.
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
It was, perhaps, one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides.
It will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation.
Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.
Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.
Nobody can tell what I suffer! But it is always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied.
Nobody minds having what is too good for them.
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.
One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering.
One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
One has not great hopes from Birmingham. I always say there is something direful in the sound.
Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony.
Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable.
There are certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are of pretty woman to deserve them.
There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.
Those who do not complain are never pitied.
To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.
To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive.
To sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.
We do not look in our great cities for our best morality.
We met Dr. Hall in such deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead.
What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
Where an opinion is general, it is usually correct.
Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!
With men he can be rational and unaffected, but when he has ladies to please, every feature works.
You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.
A person who can write a long letter with ease, cannot write ill.
Nothing is more deceitful than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast.
It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.
Man is more robust than woman, but he is not longer lived; which exactly explains my view of the nature of their attachments.
If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out.
If there is anything disagreeable going on men are always sure to get out of it.
What strange creatures brothers are!
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.
The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's.
But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way.

Interesting Observations

by Douglas Adams
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it.
He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.
His study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandonded this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Life is wasted on the living.
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.
One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed.
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.
The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

Self-Deception and Mind Control

'I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind.' - from the song 'Stand Inside Your Love' written by Billy Corgan

'Power rests on the kind of knowledge one holds.' - from the book "The teachings of Don Juan: a Yaqui way of knowledge" by Carlos Castaneda

Rights of individuals cannot be violated merely by the use of physical force. The use of insidious mind control techniques serves the purpose of an unseen destruction, and violates rights on a massive scale.
Flaws in human nature make it easier for individuals to fall victim to the attempts to limit their mental freedom.
In most societies, those who question the existing state of affairs are a small minority. The majority, on the contrary, suffer from mental sloth. They do not question the way things get going, live in an uninspiring routine, and consequentially, happen to go by the flow by submitting to prevalent views - whatever they may happen to be.
There are both conscious and unconscious attempts to limit the mental freedom of individuals - depending on the nature of norm-setting. Attempts by governments and interest groups are conscious attempts, which are dictated through a systematic process, while unconscious attempts by the society come from those who have previously been subject to mental programming.
Conscious attempts usually impose seemingly consistent philosophies - built on false premises. These emotion coated indoctrinations have nothing to do with the essence of philosophy, and have never been mentioned (and are never to be mentioned) in the history of thought. They are simply self-evident assertions with a manipulative nature, and are blended with emotional symbols. A great deal of blind nationalism and collectivism is used to affect the individuals' process of thinking, and consequently, their view of existence. This inconsistent state of mind and heart produces irrational thinking, resulting in square thoughts which resist circles. Victims start to exhibit a blind hatred against social or political enemies, who, in most cases, do not exist.
Unconscious attempts by the society impose inconsistent pseudo philosophies built on no premises at all. The question that the proponents of such public philosophies hate most is ‘why’, since, their so-called philosophies which lack premises have no answers to give. This is primarily because people who are not capable of thinking in terms of concepts (which requires a process of abstraction), have to think in terms of preset rights and wrongs. And thinking in terms of preset rights or wrongs, they are not fully aware of the premises they have unconsciously subscribed to. Therefore, when the basic premises of the status quo philosophy are challenged, they cannot discuss with others by utilizing a process of reason. They simply react. These reactions vary depending on the level of the attack. They frown upon the opponents and tell themselves (and their kids) to be skeptic of such people. Or, if the challenge is to a more sensitive issue, they exhibit a hysterical hatred and defend the self-evident public philosophy - in a manner which, most of the time, is under the influence of blind national, religious or traditional emotions.
After being subject to these attempts, the cloned individuals tend to protect the visions imposed on them, and unconsciously filter out information they don't want to receive. They can't help but subscribe to the prevalent ideas, and they perceive all the changes to the widely accepted self-evident views skeptically. A sense of guilt erupts when they contemplate widely opposed views. Not being aware of the fact that they are programmed, victims cannot escape this unseen cobweb, and find the solution in deceiving themselves. This self-deception and the psychological defense mechanism of justification become a part of their lives.
Regardless of what regime prevails in a state, the use of mind control techniques will shift it to collectivism, which perishes individuals in almost every possible way.
Collectivism strips individuals off of their identities and creates selfless, easy-to-control clones whose brains are subjected to certain restrictions and are no more capable of free thinking.
Throughout the history, only free minds made human progression possible. However, mind control techniques switch this process backwards by generating selfless clones with slave minds who are, in so many aspects, no different from one another. Mind control techniques waste incalculable potential of human ability, costing humanity a significant slow down in the advancement of arts and sciences. All for the sake of producing clones: Clones with malfunctioning brains and slave minds… Clones who are helpless and unhappy; and don’t even know why it is so… Clones who can’t help but feel a sense of guilt when they happen to step outside of the mainstream… Clones who suffer internally, and are inwardly unfulfilled… Clones who wonder why they are never satisfied at heart even when they are considered successful and happy… Clones who have self-deception and justification as their only relief… Clones who became as disgusting as those who produced them… Clones in their homelands…
Or to put it another way: Clones, as opposed to those who refuse to subscribe to the prevalent only because it is prevalent… Clones, as opposed to those who choose to go not with but against the flow. Clones, as opposed to those who refused to be what the society wanted them to be, and did care about being themselves first.
On one hand there are clones, and on the other, there is just one free man.
Years ago, a brief television story of The Twilight Zone gave a symbolic projection of how normative the majority can be about its self-evident concepts (whether the author intended it or not):
In some indeterminate world of another dimension, the shadowy, white-clad, authoritarian figures of doctors and social scientists are deeply concerned with the problem of a young girl who looks so different from everyone else that she is shunned as a freak, a disfigured outcast unable to lead a normal life. She has appealed to them for help, but all plastic surgery operations have failed - and now the doctors are grimly preparing to give her a last chance: one more attempt at plastic surgery; if it fails, she will remain a monstrosity for life. In heavily tragic tones, the doctors speak of the girl's need to be like others, to belong, to be loved, etc. We are not shown any of the characters' faces, but we hear the tense, ominous, oddly lifeless voices of their dim figures, as the last operation progresses. The operation fails. The doctors declare, with contemptuous compassion, that they will have to find a young man as deformed as this girl, who might be able to accept her. Then, for the first time, we see the girl's face: lying motionless on the pillow of a hospital bed, it is a face of perfect, radiant beauty. The camera moves to the faces of the doctors: it is an unspeakably horrifying row, not of human faces, but of mangles, distorted, disfigured pigs' heads, recognizable only by their snouts. Fade-out.1

1 Ayn Rand; The Romantic Manifesto - p.120 (Penguin Books, 1975)

Sexual Desire

From The New York Times:

Sexual desire. The phrase alone holds such loaded, voluptuous power that the mere expression of it sounds like a come-on — a little pungent, a little smutty, a little comical and possibly indictable. Everybody with a pair of currently or formerly active gonads knows about sexual desire. It is a near-universal experience, the invisible clause on one’s birth certificate stipulating that one will, upon reaching maturity, feel the urge to engage in activities often associated with the issuance of more birth certificates. Yet universal does not mean uniform, and the definitions of sexual desire can be as quirky and personalized as the very chromosomal combinations that sexual reproduction will yield. Ask an assortment of men and women, “What is sexual desire, and how do you know you’re feeling it?” and after some initial embarrassed mutterings and demands for anonymity, they answer as follows:

“There’s a little bit of adrenaline, a puffing of the chest, a bit of anticipatory tongue motion,” said a divorced lawyer in his late 40s.

“I feel relaxed, warm and comfortable,” said a designer in her 30s.

“A yearning to kiss or grab someone who might respond,” said a male filmmaker, 50. “Or if I’m alone, to call up exes.”

“Listening to Noam Chomsky,” said a psychologist in her 50s, “always turns me on.”

At the same time, the researchers said, it is precisely the complexity of sexual desire, the depth, richness and tangled spangle of its weave, that call out to be understood.

An understanding could hardly come too soon. In an era when the rates of sexually transmitted diseases continue to climb; when schools and parent groups spar bitterly over curriculums for sex education classes; when the Food and Drug Administration angers both religious conservatives and women’s groups by approving the sale of the morning-after pill over the counter but then limiting those sales to women 18 years or older; and when deviations from the putative norm of monogamous heterosexuality are presented as threats to the social fabric — at such a time, scientists argue that the clear-eyed study of sexual desire and its consequences is vital to public health, public sanity, public comity.

“Sexual desire may be complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s chaotic,” said Julia R. Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Bloomington, Ind. “We can make an honest attempt to understand what sexual desire is and what it is not, and that it is important to do so.”

Meredith L. Chivers, a researcher at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, concurs. “Sexuality is such a huge part of who we are. How could we not want to understand it?”

Unabashed about acting on their academic appetites, sexologists have gained a wealth of new and often surprising insights into the nature and architecture of sexual desire. They are tracing how men and women diverge in their experience, and where they converge. They are learning how and why people pursue the erotic partners they do, and the circumstances under which those tastes are either fixed or fluid.

Some researchers are delving into the neural, anatomical and emotional mechanisms that modulate and micromanage sexual desire and sexual arousal; others are exploring the role that culture plays in plucking or muffling the strings of desire. The pragmatists in sexology’s ranks are seeking better bedside medicines — new ways to help people who feel they suffer from an excess or deficit of sexual desire.

One recent standout discovery upends the canonical model of how the typical sex act unfolds, particularly for women but very likely for men as well.

According to the sequence put forward in the mid-20th century by the pioneering sex researchers William H. Masters, Virginia E. Johnson and Helen Singer Kaplan, a sexual encounter begins with desire, a craving for sex that arises of its own accord and prods a person to seek a partner. That encounter then leads to sexual arousal, followed by sexual excitement, a desperate fumbling with buttons and related clothing fasteners, a lot of funny noises, climax and resolution (I will never drink Southern Comfort at the company barbecue again).

A plethora of new findings, however, suggest that the experience of desire may be less a forerunner to sex than an afterthought, the cognitive overlay that the brain gives to the sensation of already having been aroused by some sort of physical or subliminal stimulus — a brush on the back of the neck, say, or the sight of a ripe apple, or wearing a hard hat on a construction site and being surrounded by other men in similar haberdashery.

In a series of studies at the University of Amsterdam, Ellen Laan, Stephanie Both and Mark Spiering demonstrated that the body’s entire motor system is activated almost instantly by exposure to sexual images, and that the more intensely sexual the visuals, the stronger the electric signals emitted by the participants’ so-called spinal tendious reflexes. By the looks of it, Dr. Laan said, the body is primed for sex before the mind has had a moment to leer.

“We think that sexual desire emerges from sexual stimulation, the activation of one’s sexual system,” she said in a telephone interview.

Moreover, she said, arousal is not necessarily a conscious process. In other experiments, Dr. Spiering and his colleagues showed that when college students were exposed to sexual images too fleetingly for the subjects to report having noticed them, the participants were nevertheless much quicker to identify subsequent sexual images than were the control students who had been flashed with neutral images.

“Our sexual responsiveness can be activated or enhanced by stimuli we’re not even aware of,” Dr. Laan said.

By reordering the sexual timeline and placing desire after arousal, rather than vice versa, the new research fits into the pattern that neurobiologists have lately observed for other areas of life. Before we are conscious of wanting to do anything — wave at a friend, open a book — the brain regions needed to perform the activity are already ablaze. The notion that any of us is the Decider, the proactive plotter of our most lubricious desires, scientists say, may simply be a happy and perhaps necessary illusion.

The new findings also suggest that in some cases, the best approach for treating those who suffer from low sex drive may be to focus on enhancing arousability rather than desire — to forget about sexy thoughts and to emphasize sexy feelings, the physical cues or activities that arouse one’s sexual circuitry. The rest will unwind from there, with the ease of a weighted shade.

Researchers have also gathered considerable evidence that the sensations of sexual arousal, desire and excitement are governed by two basic and distinctively operating pathways in the brain — one that promotes sexual enthusiasm, another that inhibits it. An originator of this novel concept, Erick Janssen of the Kinsey Institute, compares these mechanisms to the pedals of a car.

“If you let go of the gas pedal, you’ll slow down,” he said, “but that’s not the same as stepping on the brakes.”

In any given individual, each pedal may be easier or harder to press. One person may be quick to become aroused, but equally quick to stifle that response at the slightest distraction. Another may be tough to get started, but once galvanized “will not lose sexual arousal even if the ceiling comes down,” Dr. Janssen said. Still another may be saddled with both a feeble sexual accelerator and an overzealous sexual inhibitor, an unenviable pairing most likely correlated with a taste for beige pantsuits and the music of Loggins and Messina.

Dr. Janssen and his colleagues have developed extensive questionnaires to measure individual differences in sexual excitability and inhibition, asking participants how strongly they agree or disagree with statements like “When I am taking a shower or a bath, I easily become sexually aroused” and “If there is a risk of unwanted pregnancy, I am unlikely to get sexually aroused.”

The researchers have also explored the physiological, emotional and cognitive underpinnings associated with high scores and low. In one recent study, they recruited 40 male undergraduates and determined by questionnaire the subjects’ relative degree of sexual excitability and inhibition. Each participant was then ushered into a plush, private room with low lighting, a comfortable recliner and a television monitor and instructed in how to place the aptly named Rigiscan device on his genitals.

Thus outfitted, the student s watched a series of erotic film clips, some classified as “nonthreatening” and depicting couples engaged in mutually animated consensual sex, others of a “threatening” variety featuring coercive, violent sex.

Analyzing the excitability and inhibition variables separately, the researchers found that the men who had scored high on the questionnaire in sexual excitability showed, on average, a swifter and more robust penile response to all the erotic films than did the low scorers, regardless of the comparative violence or charm of the material viewed.

More intriguing still were the divergent sexual responses between men who ranked high on the inhibition scale and those who scored low. Whereas both groups reacted to the nonthreatening sex scenes with an equivalently hearty degree of tumescence, only the low scorers — those whose answers to the questionnaire indicated they had scant sexual inhibition — maintained an enthusiastic physiological response when confronted with film clips of sexual brutality.

The results suggest that having a good set of sexual brakes not only dampens the willingness to commit rape or sexual abuse, but the desire as well, giving the lie to notions that “all men are the same” and would be likely to rape their way through the local maiden population if they thought they could get away with it.

The researchers have also found a link between sexual inhibition and sexual risk-taking: men who are low in inhibition do not necessarily engage in more or kinkier sex than do their high-inhibition counterparts, but the odds are greater that they will forgo condoms if they indulge.

Most of the studies on the autonomy of sexual brakes and accelerators have been done on men, but scientists lately have begun applying the dual-control model to their studies of female sexuality as well. At first they used a slightly modified version of the excitement/inhibition questionnaire that had proved valuable for assessing men, but they soon realized that their menu of sex situations and checklist of physical arousal cues might be missing large swaths of a woman’s sexual persona.

What was the feminine equivalent of an erection anyway? Was it vaginal swelling and lubrication, or something else entirely? Women are generally smaller and less muscular than men. What might the feeling of being physically threatened do to enhance or hamper a woman’s sexual appetite?

“We started putting together focus groups, asking women to tell us the various things that might turn them on and turn them off sexually, and how they know when they’re sexually aroused,” said Stephanie A. Sanders of the Kinsey Institute and Indiana University. “They mentioned a heightened sense of awareness, genital tingling, butterflies in the stomach, increased heart rate and skin sensitivity, muscle tightness. Then we asked them if they thought the female parallel to an erection is genital lubrication, and they said no, no, you can get wet when you’re not aroused, it changes with the menstrual cycle, it’s not a meaningful measure.”

Through the focus groups, Dr. Sanders and her colleagues compiled a new, female-friendly but admittedly cumbersome draft questionnaire that they whittled down into a useful research tool. They asked 655 women, ages 18 to 81, to complete the draft survey and scrutinized the results in search of areas of concurrence and variability.

The researchers have identified a number of dimensions on which their beta testers agreed. For example, 93 to 96 percent of the 655 respondents strongly endorsed statements that linked sexual arousal to “feeling connected to” or “loved by” a partner, and to the belief that the partner is “really interested in me as a person”; they also concurred that they have trouble getting excited when they are “feeling unattractive.”

But women’s tastes varied widely in many of the finer details of seduction and setting. “Some women say they find the male body odor attractive, others repulsive,” Dr. Sanders said. “Some women are turned on by the idea of having sex in an unusual or unconcealed place where they may be caught in the act, while others have a hard time getting aroused if they think others may hear them, or the kids will walk in.”

Conventional wisdom has it that a woman’s libido is stifled by unhappiness, anxiety or anger, but the survey showed that about 25 percent of women used sex to lift them out of a bad mood or to resolve a marital spat.

Women also differed in the importance they accorded a man’s physical appearance, with many expressing a comparatively greater likelihood of being aroused by evidence of talent or intelligence — say, while watching a man deliver a great speech.

The researchers are now trying to correlate women’s sexual inhibition and excitement ratings to their sexual behavior and sexual self-image— whether they are likely to engage in risky sex, dissatisfying sex or no sex at all.

Other scientists have devised surveys of their own to plumb the depths and contours of sexual desire. Richard A. Lippa, a professor of psychology at California State University in Fullerton, for months invited anybody with the time and interest to take his online survey, in which he asked people to rate their reactions to statements like “I frequently think about sex,” “It doesn’t take much to get me sexually excited,” “I fantasize about having sex with men,” “I think a woman’s body is sexy” and “If I were looking through a catalog with sexy swimsuits, I’d spend more time looking at the men in the pictures than the women.”

Dr. Lippa has collected responses from more than 200,000 people around the world, and, though he has yet to complete his analysis of the data, a number of salient findings shine through. Whether the test-takers live in North America, Latin America, Britain, Western Europe or Japan, he said, men on average report having a higher sex drive than women, and women prove comparatively more variable in their sex drive.

“Men have a consistently high sex drive,” he said, “while in women you see more low sex drive and more high sex drive.”

Women’s sexual fluidity extends beyond the strength of desire, he said, to encompass the objects of that desire. In his survey, heterosexual women who rated their sex drive as high turned out to have an increased attraction to women as well as to men.

“This is not to say that all women are bisexual,” Dr. Lippa said. “Most of the heterosexual women would still describe themselves as more attracted to men than to women.” Still, the mere presence of a hearty sexual appetite seemed to expand a heterosexual woman’s appreciation of her fellow women’s forms. By contrast, the men were more black-and-white in their predilections. If they were straight and had an especially high sex drive, that concupiscence applied only to women; if gay, to other men.

Dr. Diamond of the University of Utah also has evidence that women’s sexual attractions are, as she put it, “more nonexclusive than men’s.”

One factor that may contribute to women’s sexual ambidextrousness, some researchers suggest, is the intriguing and poorly understood nonspecificity of women’s physical reactions to sexual stimuli. As Dr. Chivers of the Center for Addiction and Mental Health and other researchers have found, women and men show very divergent patterns of genital arousal while viewing material with sexual content.

For men, there is a strong concordance between their physiological and psychological states. If they are looking at images that they describe as sexually arousing, they get erections. When the images are not to their expressed taste or sexual orientation, however, their genitals remain unmoved.

For women, the correlation between pelvic and psychic excitement is virtually nil. Women’s genitals, it seems, respond to all sex, all the time. Show a woman scenes of a man and a woman having sex, or two women having sex, or two men, or even two bonobos, Dr. Chivers said, and as a rule her genitals will become measurably congested and lubricated, although in many cases she may not be aware of the response.

Ask her what she thinks of the material viewed, however, and she will firmly declare that she liked this scene, found that one repellent, and, frankly, the chimpanzee bit didn’t do it for her at all. Regardless of declared sexual orientation, Dr. Chivers said, “with women, there’s a discrepancy between stated preference and physiological arousal, and this discrepancy has been seen consistently across studies.”

Again, the why of it remains a mystery. Dr. Chivers and others have hypothesized that the mechanism is protective. Women are ever in danger of being raped, they said, and by automatically lubricating at the mere hint of sex, they may avoid damage during forced intercourse to that evolutionarily all-important reproductive tract.

Regardless of gender or relative genital congestion, people attend almost reflexively to sexual imagery. In an effort to trace that response back to the body’s premier sex organ, Kim Wallen and his colleagues at Emory University in Atlanta have performed brain scans on volunteers as the subjects viewed a series of sexually explicit photographs. The researchers discovered that men’s and women’s brains reacted differently to the images. Most notably, men showed far more activity than women did in the amygdala, the almond-contoured brain sector long associated with powerful emotions like fear and anger rather than with anything erotic.

Heather Rupp, a graduate student in Dr. Wallen’s lab, tried to determine whether the divergent brain responses were a result of divergent appraisals, of men and women focusing on different parts of the same photographs. “We hypothesized, based on common lore, that women would look at faces, and men at genitals,” Dr. Wallen said.

But on tracking the eye movements of study participants as they sized up erotic photographs, Ms. Rupp dashed those prior assumptions. “The big surprise was that men looked at the faces much more than women did,” Dr. Wallen said, “and both looked at the genitals comparably.”

The researchers had also predicted that men would be more drawn than women to close-up views of genitalia, but it turned out that everybody flipped past them as quickly as possible. Women lingered longer and with greater stated enjoyment than did their male counterparts on photographs of men performing oral sex on women; and they noticed more fashion details. “We got spontaneous reports from the women that we never got from the males, comments like ‘I would have liked the photos better if the people didn’t have those ridiculous ‘70s hairstyles,’ ” Dr. Wallen said.

He proposes that one reason men would scrutinize faces in pornographic imagery is that a man often looks to a woman’s face for cues to her level of sexual arousal, since her body, unlike a man’s, does not give her away.

Some researchers say that on average, male sexual desire is not only stronger than women’s, but also more constant from hour to hour, day to day. They point to a significant body of research suggesting a certain cyclic nature to female desire, and some say women only begin to attain masculine heights of lustiness during the few days of the month that they are fertile.

Studies have indicated, for example, that women are likelier to fantasize about sex, masturbate, initiate sex with their mates, wear provocative clothing and frequent singles bars right around ovulation than at any other time of the month. Women obviously can, and do, have sex outside their window of reproductive opportunity, but it makes good Darwinian sense, Dr. Wallen said, for them to have some extra oomph while they are fertile.

Men, by contrast, are generally fecund all month long, and they are theoretically ever anxious to share that bounty with others, a state of perpetual readiness that Roy F. Baumeister, a psychology professor at Florida State University, described as “the tragedy of the male sex drive.”

Yet some experts argue that such absolutist formulas neglect the importance of age, experience, culture and circumstance in determining the strength of any individual’s sexual desire.

“Baumeister’s ideas may have some validity for people in nonmarried relationships who are under the age of 40,” said Barry W. McCarthy, a sex therapist in Washington and one of the venerable voices in the field. “But as men and women age, they become much more alike in so many ways, including in their sexual desire.”

For women, Dr. McCarthy said, “sex feels more in their control and safer for them,” while the aging man loses the need to imagine himself the “sexual master of the universe.”

As one married male photographer and editor in his mid-50s said, “Jeez, when I was 20, I couldn’t walk straight,” but now he is sexually much looser and “unconcerned.” And while he considers his libido to be of standard dimensions for men his age, he also said it “exactly matches that of my partner.”

Together they walk the line.

How to maintain your "in-"sanity

Sixteen Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom-don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they "want fries with that?"
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors."
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
14. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives-they're loose!"
16. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Relationships 101

6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said?
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again?
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound?
6 months : What's so bad about going to India on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home?
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself.

Tom and Me

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)Your devil-may-care attitude sometimes could bring harm to yourself - You tend to live on the edge sometimes. Many of you believe that you don’t deserve success, somehow feeling guilty for it. You may give others too much of yourself sometimes that you lose yourself. You may be prone to suppressing motions as well. And at times that makes it difficult for you to accept affection and love.Advice: Work at listening to others and don't be tempted to try daring devil stunts all the time. And try doing something for yourself and once in a while, in between, doing favours for others. You're human, after all.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 23)Your inability to reach a decision in matters of personal action is legendary. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument - but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expand energy on people who may not deserve it - You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally.Advice: Follow your instincts and act on them - stop sitting on fences. Don't blindly trust people; learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don't be swayed by persuasive tongues.

Your quiz of the day

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green... .They are all true!

What does your date of birth mean?

Is your birthday day 1 of the month?Your LifeYou are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to, be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life.Your LoveYou believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.
Is your birthday day 2 of the month?Your LifeYou have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem.Your LoveYour love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your unrequited love. Your are a romantic and loyal lover.
Is your birthday day 3 of the month?Your LifeAlthough you are innocent and romantic but your expression often mislead others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your double personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You are careful and patient.Your LoveYour love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can bring you to light when you are in love. Your confidence might lead you to the track your parents disagree .
Is your birthday day 4 of the month?Your LifeYou usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are cheerful and friendly.Your LoveStill water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.
Is your birthday day 5 of the month?Your LifeAlthough you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and changes. Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence, you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your own life, and you have got the gift in doing so.Your LoveNothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once you are in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes your jealousy becomes worse.
Is your birthday day 6 of the month?Your LifeYou are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people find you nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others.. Your imagination is extremely unique.Your LoveYour love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship. Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness to your couple.
Is your birthday day 7 of the month?Your LifeYou are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your extreme persistence.Your LoveYou have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often progress quickly.
Is your birthday day 8 of the month?Your LifeYou have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you.Your LoveFalling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.
Is your birthday day 9 of the month?your LifeYou often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.Your LoveYou won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children. You Will be Happy Always with u r Love Marraige. and she
Is your birthday day 10 of the month?Your LifeYou are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be a renowned workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in implementing your imagination and share it with others. You are always well dressed.Your LoveYou often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always feel like you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows your relationship.
Is your birthday day 11 of the month?Your LifeYou are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities and some even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and adaptable. You are remarkably kind and moral person.Your LoveYou are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your lover will always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always be happy to hand around the one you love.
Is your birthday day 12 of the month?Your LifeYou are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded and do not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper.Your LoveYou are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you strongly believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other hand, once you are together, you always want to do things your way, which is often the fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.
Is your birthday day 13 of the month?Your LifeYou are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are not your style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the difficult path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be around although you are sometimes too straightforward.Your LoveYour gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person. Even though you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are, especially in the eyes of opposite sex.
Is your birthday day 14 of the month?Your LifeYou are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people around you. If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to be in the winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but above all, you care for your own benefits. Your imagination is unique and often gets implemented shortly after it comes across.Your LoveYou will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter how hard he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen, there's no getting back.
Is your birthday day 15 of the month?Your LifeYou are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From the outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let your temper shows.Your LoveYou are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for long. This is why you hardly win a decent relationship.
Is your birthday day 16 of the month?Your LifeYou always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make your dream comes true.Your LoveYou often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight is not your style.
Is your birthday day 17 of the month?Your LifeYou neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense. Your LoveYour fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great. You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose only one.
Is your birthday day 18 of the month?Your LifeAt first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.Your LoveYou hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.
Is your birthday day 19 of the month?Your LifeYou are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong path. You are a free bird and want to lead your own life.Your LoveYou love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after that, you will make up in a way that surprises others.
Is your birthday day 20 of the month?Your LifeYou are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you make any move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a while. You are patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value friendship more than anything else.Your LoveYou usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You never demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your sincerity doesn't bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply grown relationship.
Is your birthday day 21 of the month?Your LifeYou are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.Your LoveYou are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't like while your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally under turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in your heart.
Is your birthday day 22 of the month?Your LifeYou have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn. You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual.Your LoveYou hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won't let them get away without having hard time.
Is your birthday day 23 of the month?Your LifeYou never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready to face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your friends count on.Your LoveBecause you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in forbidden love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no one can stop you from making progress. You are very charming, although you might not realize it.
Is your birthday day 24 of the month?Your LifeYou are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You are gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you. You'll be the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak their heart out.Your LoveSometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not that you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but you can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and romantic.
Is your birthday day 25 of the month?Your LifeYou are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will eventually bring you success.Your LoveYou adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your love one more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential to get married young.
Is your birthday day 26 of the month?Your LifeYou are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way you choose to live. Traveling is your favorite hobby because excitement is what you are after.Your LoveYou will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking around for the next one.
Is your birthday day 27 of the month?Your LifeYou are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks even when the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being to pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a kind loving person.Your LoveYou will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your date may be. You are demanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable extend.
Is your birthday day 28 of the month?Your LifeYou are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own ability. This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step forward. If you try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in life. Try to see things on the bright side and you will be happier than ever.Your LoveYou are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in your heart. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out before seeing any progress in love.
Is your birthday day 29 of the month?Your LifeYou can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel tired of things and people around you.Your LoveYou can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of fights between you and your lover. Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.
Is your birthday day 30 of the month?Your LifeYou are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities.Your LoveYou want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take ages.
Is your birthday day 31 of the month?Your LifeYour emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and happy in the next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion and understand you. You tend to take things seriously.Your LoveYou take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once you decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making progress, even your partner.

Nameology

A - U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.
B - You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.
c - You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.
d - Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on . You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humor. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .
e - Your greatest need is to talk . If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)
f - You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find . You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favorite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.
g - You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.
h - You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist , hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.
I - You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression . You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.
j - You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.
k - You are secretive , self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game , and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
l - You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on . You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".
m - You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.
m - You are emotional and intense . When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom . You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.
o - You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness , which must be kept in check.
p - You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count . Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes . You are relatively free of hang- ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.
q - You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy . It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.
r - You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual . You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best . You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
s - For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue . You could get jealous and possessive. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert . You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
t - You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music , soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt . You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great thing! s. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life.
u - You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love . When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.
v -You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.
w - You are very proud , determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.
x - You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly . You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.
y - You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing . You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
z - You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer.

This one got me all choked up

HEAVEN
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?""This is Heaven, sir," the man answered."Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked."Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book."Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?""Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.""How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog."There should be a bowl by the pump."They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree."What do you call this place?" the traveler asked."This is Heaven," he answered."Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.""Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.""Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?""No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."


A.D. note: I do believe this was an old black and white Twilight Zone episode, wasn't it?

This one made me cry

A BABY'S HUGS
We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly eating and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, ''Hi there.'' He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists.''Hi there, baby; Hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,'' the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks,''What do we do?'' Erik continued to laugh and answer, ''Hi, hi there.'' Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, ''Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo.''Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skidrow bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. ''Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,'' I prayed.As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's ''pick-me-up'' position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man's. Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love relationship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time. I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, ''You take care of this baby.'' Somehow I managed, ''I will,'' from a throat that contained a stone. He pried Erik from his chest unwillingly, longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, ''God bless you,ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift.'' I said nothing more than a muttered thanks.With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, ''My God, my God, forgive me.'' I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes.I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, ''Are you willing to share your son for a moment?'' when He shared His for all eternity. The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, ''To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children.''

Moonshinin'

Basics of Bootleggin' and Moonshinin'
Here are the basics....a bootlegger is a person that sells illegal whiskey and a moonshiner is a person who makes the whiskey illegally. Moonshine goes by many names such as:
corn liquor
white lightning
sugar whiskey
skull cracker
popskull
bush whiskey
stump
stumphole
'splo
ruckus juice
rotgut
stumphole
catdaddy
mule kick
hillbilly pop
white lightning
panther's breath
tiger's sweat
sweet spirits of cats a-fighting
alley bourbon
city gin
cool water
happy Sally
blue John
jump steady
see seven stars
old horsey
block and tackle
wild cat

Small still for use in a basement, Wilkes CountyAppalachian Cultural MuseumAppalachian State University, Boone, NC
The term moonshine originated in Europe and was used in England in the 1700's. It originally referred to "occupational pursuits which necessitated night work, or work by the light of the moon."
The expression "bootlegging" has an long history itself. It originated in colonial America, and it believed to have been used in reference to selling alcohol to Native Americans. Some colonists tried to prevent this practice, but those that were more determined attempted to trade "spirits" for material goods. These colonists concealed bottles of liquor in the top of their boots and covered the bottles with their pants leg; hence the term "bootlegger."


A Quick Recipe for Making Moonshine
The basic ingredients:
corn meal
sugar
water
yeast
malt
The basic process:
Mix all ingredients together in a large container. After mixing, move the mixture, called "mash," into a still and leave it to ferment. How quickly this process occurs depends on the warmth of the mash.
Heat the mash to the point of vaporization at 173 degrees. The mash will produce a clear liquid, often the color of dark beer. You must watch this process with careful attention.
Trap vapor using a tube or coil. The vapor will be transferred into a second, empty container. The resulting condensation is the moonshine. It is then ready to drink or sell.
Keep mash in container. It is now called "slop." Add more sugar, water, malt, and corn meal and repeat the process.
Repeat the process up to eight times before replacing the mash.



The production of whiskey in this area predates the federal taxation of alcoholic beverages. For farmers in remote parts of the country, it was a way to turn their corn into cash when grain prices weren't all that high. The imposition of a tax on whiskey was considered an unwanted federal intervention and was largely ignored. The Department of the Treasury sent special agents — "revenuers" — to prosecute unlawful distilling. While some distillers became legitimate, others did not, and many an agent and many a distiller died in the ensuing gun battles.
The grain used to make the mash, which is the mixture of grain, sugar, water, and yeast that ferments to produce the alcohol, is virtually always corn, so the product is "corn liquor" (also known as "corn whiskey"), sometimes called "mountain dew" because it appears overnight, or simply "shine". (The clear, potent (i.e. high-proof) liquor is also called "white lightning" because of its effect, or "kick".) Today, commercial hog chow is often used, because it is readily available, buying it does not attract the attention of law enforcement, and it is primarily corn, but other corn-based animal feeds can be used instead, and differences in the other ingredients in the feed impart slightly different flavors to the finished product. Ordinary white sugar is often the chief ingredient of moonshine mash, in which case the spirit distilled is technically a rum rather than a whiskey.
Potato-based moonshine made illegally in Ireland, is called poit�n (IPA [ˈpˠocʲiːn], anglicized as poteen) or formerly potheen (IPA [ˈpɒtiːn] but in Ireland [ˈpɔtʃiːn]). The term is a diminutive of the word pota 'a pot'.

How to sing the blues

www.BluesGuide.com
1. Most Blues begin “woke up this morning.”
2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in right away:I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.
I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
She got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weighs 500 pounds.
4. The Blues are not about limitless choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars are Chevies, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Other acceptable Blues transportation modes include Greyhound buses and southbound trains. Walkin’ plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running.
6. Adults sing the Blues. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. In the Blues, "adulthood" means old enough to get the electric chair when you shoot that man in Memphis.
7. You can have the Blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont, Tucson, or North Dakota are just depression. The best places to have the Blues are still Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg while skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg when your broken-down pickup truck rolled over on it is.
9. The following colors do not belong in the Blues: violet, beige, mauve (unless you’re truly desperate for a rhyme).
10. You can’t have the Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is just plain wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
11. Good places to have the Blues: the highway, a jailhouse, an empty bed, the bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places to have the Blues: ashrams, gallery openings, weekends in the Hamptons, golf courses, Tiffany's, and Ivy League institutions.
12. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old black man—and it’s an old black suit.
13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Answer “Yes” if:
your first name is a southern state—like Georgia
you’re blind
you shot a man in Memphis.
you can’t be satisfied.e. you're older than dirt
Answer “No” if:
a. you once were blind but now can see.
b. you’re deaf
c. the man in Memphis lived.
d. you have a trust fund or an IRA.
e. you have all your teeth
f. you were once blind but now can see
14. Blues is not about color, it's about bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues; Gary Coleman could. Ugly old white people got a leg up on the blues. Julio Iglesias and Barbra Streisand will never sing the Blues.
15. If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it’s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: wine, whiskey, muddy water, beer, black coffee. Blues beverages are NOT: mixed drinks, kosher wine, sparkling water, Snapple, Starbucks Frappuccino, or Slim Fast. Although Rubber Biscuits and the Wish Sandwich are famous blues snacks, better stick to common blues grub like Greasy Bar-b-que, Fatback and beans, and Government cheeze. Blues food is never: Club sandwich, Sushi, or Crème brule.
16. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is a Blues death. So is substance abuse, the electric chair, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a Blues death to die during liposuction or from tennis elbow.
17. Excellent names for female Blues singers: Sadie, Big Momma, Bessie, or Fat River Dumpling. Excellent names for male Blues singers: Willie, Joe, Little Willie, Lightning, or Big Willie. Singers with names like Muffy, Sierra, Auburn, Alexis, Gwenyth, Sequoiz, Brittany or Rainbow are not permitted to sing the Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
18. The Build Your Own Blues Singer Name Starter Kit:
a. Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, Asthmatic)
b. First name (from above lists) or name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)
c. Last name of a U. S. president (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)Examples: Blind Lime Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Okay, maybe not "Kiwi"…)
19. I don't care how tragic your life; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the Blues.You'd best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or shotgun. Maybe your big ass woman just done sit on it. I don't care
20. Hey there, you can READ! This too be a big ol' problem. Most folks singin' theBlues ain't never had much a chance for education. In the Blues… the three R's standfor Railroads, Runnin' and Rehab.
21. It gots to be dark to sing the blues, preferably after midnight. Singin' da blues at noon is forbidden.
22. If none of the above works, try one last, pathetic stab at authenticity: name your guitar. Remember, Lucille is taken.
23. Epitaph on a blues musician's tombstone: "I didn't wake up this morning"

more miscellaneous information -- possibly useless

Christopher Lasch - "Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success."

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A butt-ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks, "Are they twins?"
The woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7.Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No," he replies "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"

The assignment
A college class was told they have to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were:
The short story must contain the following three things:
1. Religion
2. Sexuality
3. Mystery
Below is the only A+ story in the entire class:

Good God, I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it.



Kennedy Tribulations

- Satisfied that he had made a thorough observation of the accident scene, Farrar pulled the body of Mary Jo Kopechne out through the open window. The maneuver was complicated by the victim's hunched posture and outstretched arms made inflexible by rigor mortis.-As he removed the body from the Senator's car, Farrar observed that it was "about one-quarter positively buoyant. There was still a little air left in her."- Farrar tied the safety line around the victim, and brought her to the surface. The difficult recovery had taken him 10 minutes. In all, it took John Farrar 30 minutes from the time he got the call until he recovered the body from the accident car.
- Farrar repeatedly expressed the opinion that Mary Jo Kopechne had lived for some time underwater by breathing a bubble of trapped air, and that she could have been saved if rescue personnel had been promptly called to the scene. He had equipment to administer air to a trapped person directly or to augment an air pocket inside a submerged automobile.- "There was a great possibility that we could have saved Mary Jo's life," Farrar said. "There would have been an airlock in the car - there always is in such submersions - that would have kept her alive. If we had been called, I would have reached the scene in 45 minutes. I say 45 minutes because it was dark. ( The daylight recovery had taken 30 minutes ). The lack of light might have caused a delay of 15 minutes."

- Three days before the Kennedy accident, The Boston Herald Traveler had run a story about a New Hampshire woman who had spent five hours in a submerged automobile. Amazed to find the driver unconscious but alive, police rushed the victim to a hospital where she was given respiration and treated for immersion. Doctors said an air bubble trapped inside the car had saved her life.
- When the body of Mary Jo Kopechne was removed from the water, Chief Arena scrutinized her pale lifeless face. The mouth was open, teeth gritted in a death grimace. Otherwise, he said, "She appeared normal in the sense that there were no injuries that I could see."



The American Cowboy

"Whatever he did, he did with his might. The bread that he earned was earned hard, the wages that he squandered were squandered hard . . . If he gave his word, he kept it."Who was Owen Wister talking about when he wrote those words in his 1902 novel, The Virginian? The American cowboy, of course. Owen Wister was born in Philadelphia on July 14, 1860. The Virginian helped establish the myth of the American cowboy. However, as the image of the American cowboy became more popular in films and songs, real cowboy culture faded. What do you think the real life of a cowboy was like?
Movies and books about the Wild West often make the life of the cowboy seem more glamorous and full of adventure than it really was. In The Virginian, the climactic showdown and tender romance between a refined Eastern schoolteacher and a rough-and-tumble cowhand, made the cowboy into an American folk hero and introduced themes that became standard in American Western movies. What is your favorite part in a Western? How did people learn about the Wild West before there were movies?
Even before the Western-type of movie became popular, people were fascinated with life on the frontier. Former Indian scout and buffalo hunter Buffalo Bill Cody brought a cast of 100 cowboys and Indians, a collection of wild animals, and sharpshooter Annie Oakley to the East in 1883. Buffalo Bill's "Wild West Show" played for packed audiences into the 20th century.If you don't live on a cattle ranch, you can see today's cowboys at a rodeo, or you can pick up a book about the old West and dream about a life of riding into the sunset on the back of your trusty horse. You might want to start with Owen Wister's tale about The Virginian.


PMS Guidelines
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be over reacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect


How to take a caffeine nap
The Caffeine Nap is simple. You drink a cup of coffee and immediately take a 15 minute nap. Researchers found coffee helps clear your system of adenosine, a chemical which makes you sleepy. So in testing, the combination of a cup of coffee with an immediate nap chaser provided the most alertness for the longest period of time. The recommendation was to nap only 15 minutes, no more or less and you must sleep immediately after the coffee.
Researchers have found that this works better than rolling down windows for cold exposure, blasting the radio and slapping oneself in the face to try to stay awake


Story of Vaseline
Posted by Jason Bellows on February 20th, 2006 at 10:03 am

Robert Peary took it to the North Pole. There’s a song in its honor. It makes smiles sparkle. It’s used to coat the feet of vending machines to keep pests out. It controls unruly hair. People put it on chickens to prevent frostbite. It protects baby’s bottoms, and is invaluable to virgins. A tycoon swore eating a spoonful a day helped him live to see 96 years, and odds are that you have some in your home. It’s Vaseline.
The name Vaseline comes from the German word for water and the Greek word for oil—though I never thought German and Greek mixed. The inventor, Robert Chesebrough, was a purveyor of illumination oil and a chemist in England who saw that there was a greater fortune to be made dealing in petroleum than there was in the oils from whales with which he had been dealing. In 1859, at the age of 22, he spent his life savings on a ticket to Titusville, Pennsylvania to meet with the oil barons there. Upon touring the oil fields he noted a rigger scraping a thick, dark goo from an oil pump’s joint, and he asked about. It was explained that the troublesome wax-like gunk tended to come up with the crude, and collect on the rigging; if it wasn’t cleaned off periodically, it would gum up the works. And some people thought that it helped wounds heal faster—that notion lit dollar signs in his eyes, and he made off with a bucket full of the “rod wax”.Seeing how the rod wax was worthless, he knew that he could make a large margin on it, and as a chemist, he quickly set to work purifying and clarifying the substance. It took him 10 years to make the colorless, odorless gel we’re accustomed to today. Bear in mind, however, that in the late 19th century, the only such oils available were lard, goose grease, olive oil, garlic oil, and some mustard plasters—if they didn’t start out as rank, a little time was prone to spoil them and make them that way.
He used himself as a guinea pig by cutting, stabbing, burning, and applying acids to himself and then treating the wounds with his wonder-salve. The first Vaseline factory opened in 1870, and the patent was granted in 1872. But he couldn’t sell the stuff. Pharmacists were uninterested, even when he showed them his self-inflicted wounds in various stages of mending.
So he took it on the road and gave Vaseline away. He gave roadside demonstrations of his masochistic experiments, and people took it, then went to their pharmacists to get more. Of course, the pharmacists had none, having spurned it before, ordered it in droves. Vaseline’s first major success came as medicine, which is ironic because later it was proved to have no curative power whatsoever—the only advantage to its use was the fact it kept grime and bacteria out of the injuries.
But no one could tell Chesebrough that it wasn’t a miracle. When down with a bout of pleurisy he ordered himself drenched top to toe with Vaseline, and he soon recovered. Shortly before his death he revealed that he’d been eating a spoonful a day for several years.
Is there anything it can’t do?

Learning to Lament

On February 14, 1884, Theodore Roosevelt’s wife, Alice, died giving birth to their daughter, also named Alice. Roosevelt was so distraught with the loss of his wife that he never spoke of her again. But reminders of her absence haunted the family. Because the newborn had the same name as her mother, she was called “Sister”—never Alice. On Valentine’s Day, the holiday for sweethearts, few in the Roosevelt household felt inclined to celebrate it or Sister’s birthday. Broken hearts made moods strained and stoic.
Burying our feelings doesn’t help, but prayerful grieving can. Jeremiah’s heart was broken by Israel’s disobedience and the Babylonian captivity that followed. Memories of Jerusalem’s destruction haunted him (Lam. 1–2). Yet he had learned how to lament. He identified what caused him grief, began to pray, and let his tears flow. Soon his focus shifted from his loss to the steadfast grace of the Lord’s provision. “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (3:22-23). Grief gave way to thankfulness.
Learning to lament can give us a fresh vision of hope and begin the process of healing and restoration. —Dennis Fisher

I have been through the valley of weeping,The valley of sorrow and pain;But the God of all comfort was with me,At hand to uphold and sustain. —Anon.

Grief is itself a medicine. —Cowper

Historical Fashion

Fashion Notes, 1885
The following hints on updating last year's fashion and accounts of current fads both "at home and abroad" have been taken from Godey's Lady's Book Fabruary 1885.
FASHION NOTES AT HOME AND ABROAD.
Can there be in the world a more sorrowful spectacle than last year's dress? Sometimes the brilliant colors are gone, and it looks dull and ugly; entirely unfit, we think, at the first glance, for even ordinary wear; but we had calculated that it should answer for this season, and second thoughts lead us to decide how we can best make it look as good, if not better, than new. We will first examine the skirt of our dress and see what it needs. Did we say "what it needs"? At first glance it looks as if everything was needed, but by systematizing the needs, we will find that our task is not as herculean as a first glance leads us to imagine. The edge of the skirt is frayed, worn and faded, and having no goods of the same kind, we must use something else to freshen it up; cut off the defaced part and finish around the edge; then put a narrow ruffle of contrasting color around so that it falls under the dress proper. If the drapery is scant or oldfashioned, use some of the same material to mix in with it, or, better still, put plaited panels down the sides of it , and drape the skirt more bouffante than it was; this will make the dress look entirely different from last season. If the material can be turned (having the same surface on both sides) it will repay to carefully rip up and make over with the different material as we have suggested.
But though the fashions have changed since last season, there have certain modes come in which are distinctly favorable to economy. The first of these is the wearing of bodices of a different color from the skirt. This is always a help to those who have to repair the ravages of time. Skirts nearly always wear better than a bodice; but frequently they are too tight, and so become unserviceable. But if the skirt is good, a Jersey waist can be used; for the house and for evening wear nothing can be prettier than a bodice of deep crimson or blue surah, cut pointed in front, and either rounded in the back or cut in tails, or else cut out all the way round in tiny tabs. Velveteen or velvet can also be used for a bodice. Supposing that we desire to use the old bodice again; one must see what can be done with it. If the buttons and button-holes look shabby, a gay-colored handkerchief thrust into the breast serves to cover a multitude of sins, or a thick frill of lace sewn around the neck and continued down the front of the bodice, as far as the waist, is another excellent means of freshening a toilette. Better still is a movable waistcoat, fastening on with a few hooks, so as to be taken on and off at pleasure. It must be nicely shaped, and made of silk or velvet.
The little trimmings of a dress make such a difference. Folds of lace, crepe lisse, or illusions being put in at neck and wrist will make amends for a somewhat indifferent dress; these folds are double and are more fashionable than ruches, although not as becoming. Lace turned down at the neck, and turned up round the sleeves hides just that part which looks shabby soonest. When lace is put around the neck it is put on much fuller than formerly, and not so stiff, it is gobbled on to the dress in careless folds, and a bunch of natural flowers tucked in at one side.
A girl with quick eyes finds many opportunities of noticing styles when she goes out; she will take in the different styles of dress at a glance, and choose what is best to follow.
Natural flowers are the greatest embellishment to an evening gown, and there is excuse for being without them in summer or winter, if a few plants will be kept and cared for. Let every girl who goes in for button-hole bouquets keep a little reel of wire, and a nice, useful fern or two to pick from; the commonest flowers look well when made up with ferns, and as she gets used to making bouquets, her taste will develop, and her fingers grow defter, so that her bouquets will look like professional work.
People will tell you that doing up old toliettes is sorry work, as they rarely repay you for the time and trouble spent upon them; but if the dress is to be worn at all, it is worth while to make it look as well as it can, and we flatter ourselves that when some of these simple expedients have been tried, no one would recognize last year's dress.
Just after the holidays the thrifty home mother usually devotes herself to the construction of the family underwear, and such outside garments as it is safe to prepare before the in coming of late spring and summer styles; and while sewing machines have, in a measure, served to expedite the family sewing, they have, as well, created a taste for more lavish decorations than were used when all needle-work was done by hand, and almost every family physician can testify to the ill effects of running the machine. Hence, ladies cannot fall to recognize the health and labor-saving advantages vouchsafed to them in the white goods, specially pre pared by steam-worked machines, to take the place in the decorative parts of garments, which have been heretofore formed by the maker of each article, such as yokes and sleeves, panels and finishings of dresses and aprons for ladies, misses, and children; fronts of night-gowns, collars and cuffs, chemise bosoms, under-waists or corset covers, dressing saques, and the lower portions of drawers, indeed everything that can be made of tucked goods, or rows of Hamburg or lace Insertion, let in between clusters of tucks, or the rolled and whipped-over puffs, which come apart very easily if the thread is at all defective.
Another feature to be noted in these recent introductions is, that they are made ornamental either all over, or on and of the same materials of which the various parts of the garment can be formed, be it lawn, mull, cambric, nainsook or long-cloth; the tucking being the entire length of the piece of white goods, while the rows of woven Insertion in various lace effects, alternate with the clusters of tucks, and as parts or entire garments can be cut from the silk and oriental lace net, which is in full net width, and is sold by the yard, so these white laundrying materials are to be used; the varieties of puffing, all-over and lace tuckings in countless numbers of qualities and designs, costing less than one can buy the fabric, with necessary Hamburg or lace for insertion, not including the work of tucking and sewing In the rows of trimming, with the extra advantage of having all parts of the garment wear alike, being made of one kind and grade of material. Chemises are less full than they used to be; they are not gauged into the neck-band, but are semi fitting ; nevertheless, the prettiest models are gauged in front at the neck, and again at the waist, or rather just above the waist. The narrow pointed gores are no longer let into the sides, as it has been found by experience that extra fullness is inconvenient; the only two seams are the lightly curved side scams, although frequently there is a seam in the middle of the back to shape the chemise. With the cooler weather silk underclothing has by many been again resorted to.
Many fashionable trousseaux have lately been made of pale colored or white surah, and of printed foulard, edged with an Insertion and flounce of lace in place of a hem. The neck is open in a point back and front, and is trimmed with a drapery of white lace, secured here and there by a blue or pink satin bow.
Nothing could be simpler, nor mere absolutely unadorned than the foot covering par excellence of to-day. No fancy work, embroidery, stitching, beading, or even irrelevant fancy buttons are visible. The boot is ornamental only in its quality, which is of kid, the finest and softest. The toe portion is roomy yet shapely. The heel, with not a suggestion of the "French bend" about it , is yet graceful, and the sole of the foot is broad enough to allow of promenading without having to stop every few moments to give a rest to the pinched and rebellious feet.
In winter cloaks size and shape seem more important than costliness of material in order to be pronounced elegant. A long mantle, however handsome, is not accounted dressy for a young married lady unless it is short and well fitted to the figure, at least at the back. It is trimmed with a profusion of lace, fancy galoons, passementerie of all styles, besides embroidery patterns of the most elegant and elaborate kind. The shorter garments are considered very stylish and are really more appropriate for full dress wear than the very long wraps which so completely hide the rich toilette beneath. The short mantle is often exchanged for the jacket, which forms the bodice of the dress. Some of these jackets are short or semi-long, opening ever a vest, and showing more or less of it . The fronts are simply bound, like these of a gentleman's waistcoat, or else they are edged round with stitching; some have buttonholes on both sides, with two rows of buttons. Cloth or thick hairy vigogne, in dark blue or any shade of gray, are the materials most employed for these jackets.
But the fashion of such jacket-bodices does not in any way exclude that of a variety of dress bodices, some with a deep point in front, and cut princess fashion at the back, or else with a round waist; or again, with a waist band in front only, and a postillion-basque behind. In that case the waistband comes from the seams under the arms, and is fastened in front with a buckle, a clasp, or one, two, or three artistic buttons.
Thick woolen material, such as vigogne, serge, cloth, and limousine, are not suited for making up elaborate and complicated draperies. With such goods the best way is to make a round tunic, drawn up high on one side. Its plaits are fastened down under a large hew of velvet, if the trimming of the dress admits of velvet, or by a simple metal buckle if the costume has no trimming. In any case, the skirt of such a costume Is little or not at all trimmed; at most two or three rows of galoon, or of velvet ribbon are placed round the foot, and very often only one row of very wide mohair galoon, embroidered with wool-silk. Large collars and cuffs of bend work are a new and favored ornament for bodices.
Snake-skin collars and cuffs are worn with cloth suits. Crimson dresses for evening wear are prettily covered with black or white lace. Watteau trains of lace are worn en evening costumes of satin and brocade. Round velvet caps and bonnets of the color of the dress are fashionable for street wear. "Honiton point" is the name of a new imitation lace in which the design is outlined by silk. The rarest and most expensive stockings are these of fine Brussels lace. Marabout feather bands are used to decorate dresses and mantles. People who have an ever abundance of color should adopt gray with a rosy blonde, it is a success. Many of the corded trimming ribbons have the cord running lengthwise. Some have the cord cut here and there. Tufts of ostrich feathers decorate the skirts and draperies of many elaborate evening dresses. Fanciful muffs, made of black frisé, are gathered at both ends and lined with crimson or old gold satin. Lace is used to excess in millinery, and even in mid-winter forms the entire bonnet; the trimming being feathers and bands of fur.
NOTES FROM OUR FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT.
The season for evening parties, receptions, and fancy dress balls is now at its height, and I thought, as the latter are especially fashionable this year, that year readers might like some hints about them. A new departure has recently been taken, in so much that the hostess frequently limits her guests to one set of characters, such as these in Dickens's works, or Sir Walter Scott's, or Shakespeare's, or gives them seine special period from which their costume must be chosen. Sometimes all must appear as court ladies of various reigns. Again, all are desired to array themselves as flower girls of different countries. Or, perhaps, the edict may go forth that only strictly pastoral dresses are to be worn. At first sight it might seem that this limitation would result in a certain monotony, but when we reflect that the shepherds' and shepherdesses' and peasants' dresses of all ages and dimes are available for choice, this fear will be at once dispelled. Among them will be found costumes suitable for the short, the tall, the thin, the stout, the brunette, and the blonde. Beginning, then, with a dress from a very early period, we would suggest a Greek shepherdess's dress for a pretty, fair gin. it consists of a full, white skirt, just coming below the knees, trimmed with a blue border of the Greek key pattern ; a full, low bodice with short sleeves, edged with a like blue pattern a blue ribbon girdle, white stockings, and blue shoes, laced across and rather high. A wreath of wild flowers round the head; some should also hang loosely from one shoulder across the bosom, and a creek with wild flowers should be carried in the hand. Either low neck and short sleeves, or an under-bodice high and long sleeved can be worn. But we must not devote all our letter to fancy costumes; we reserve seine hints for general evening dresses.
Young married ladies and young ladies of eighteen to five and twenty, still refuse to wear trains at dancing parties. They are certainly wise, as the train loses all its grace when held up in the hand. Flounced skirts are fashion able, with flounces of lace or pinked-out faille, or with a single deep flounce softly plaited; plain skirts of silk are also wem, magnificeiitly embreidered with pearl desigus and pendants. A toilette prepared for a young matron of six and twenty is of Nile blue velvet, and cream satin embroidered with pearls. The whole front of the dress, skirt, and corsage is of embroidered satin. The rest of the dress is a redingote tunic and corsage of Nile-blue velvet; the neck cut square in front, the sleeves just reaching the elbow. A high Medici collar of the embroidered satin completes the toilette. Beautiful ball toilettes are made of crepe and tulle, also of cream or white blonde. These are useful toilettes, especially the lace, as the skirts can be worn with polonaises of heavier material for dinner parties. The draperies of such dresses are short, and the corsage has a long point back and front. Very little sleeve is worn, and the neck is cut low and oval, edged with a wide lace berthe or drapery of gauze.
The dog collar, a substitute for ordinary necklaces, is a detail of evening dress which I must not forget. it is a great boon for ladies who de not possess much jewelry, as, although they frequently consist of rows of real pearls or diamond stars sewn upon satin or velvet; yet more frequently they are made with strings of coral or ordinary beads. The width varies ac cording to the length of the neck, hut as much as possible the number of bead rows should be uneven, and the beads should not be tee large. Coiffures are still very high. A simple 8 on the top of the head Is now the style generally adopted, while the hair is waved or frizzed ever the forehead, hut not quite as much over the eyes as last winter; one single flower is placed rather forward at the side. Flowers or jewel are favorite ornaments, hut feathers are not much worn this winter.
Gloves are as long as ever, and always of the unglazed kid, called in Paris Peau de Suéde; they are fashionably worn of a light or medium shade of beige with even the most dressy toilettes. No one but brides now wear white gloves. Shoes and slippers are of the color of the dress. The stockings should match the dress or its trimmings ; they are plain, of silk or fine Lisle thread, with embroidered docks.
Let me note, for the theater or concert-room, the last pretty novelty in bonnets. It is the butterfly bonnett, the herder of which falls like small wings en each side of the head. it is made of chenille, satin, or velvet, and trimmed In front or at the side with feathers put on in large clusters. Fashion.
Information from http://www.marquise.de/en/1800/notes1885.shtml


An Ohio State University exhibition demonstrated that in the late 19th century, a fashionably dressed woman might wear up to 25 pounds of clothing -- layered undergarments (including drawers, chemise, corset, petticoat, and crinoline or bustle) plus a gown and mantle. Not only were a woman's internal organs squeezed by her corset, she often couldn't bend over, raise her arms very high, walk with a natural stride, run, or, in a cage crinoline or hoop, fit easily through an door.
Dr. Helen Stern has studied the effects of tight-lacing. She noted that progressing from training corsets for young children, adults could end up with smaller waists than they had as children. Like the doctors of the 1700s, she saw, after ten or more years from earliest days perpetually locked up in more or less corset-like garments, the young lady already as a teen-ager found the support of a high corset not only comfortable, but even indispensable, due to her during all these years of constantly scaffolded, weakened and impaired back muscles with total lack of exercise....So no wonder that many young girls, particularly in the two decades of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th, were reportedly much more tightly laced than their mothers. It also explains why you could find many tightly corseted older ladies still 50 years ago. You actually had a generation which never could get rid of a good support from their corsets.

Miscellaneous historical items

The first frontal lobotomy
In 1848, a man named Phineas Gage suffered a brain wound which has rendered him as the index case of personality change after frontal lobe injury. During work on the construction of the Rutland & Burlington Railroad, an unplanned explosion propelled a rod, about a meter long and three cm in diameter, through his head. The entrance wound was in the right cheek; the exit was in the midline near the intersection of the sagittal and coronal sutures. Against expectation, Gage survived.
Initial published reports of the accident and its treatment emphasized on Gage's survival. The mental change he suffered, from his original capable and responsible self into a man who was profane, fitful, and obstinate - in short, a man who was "no longer Gage" - makes the case noteworthy today. Although the change in Gage was noted almost immediately after the accident, for 20 years his case gained notoriety as one of incredible damage to the brain with complete mental recovery. It was not until 1868 that Gage's personal physician, John M. Harlow, reported his patient's transformation.
The reasons for this delay are briefly explored. Of the two initial reports of Gage's case, the first was published by Harlow himself. This paper hinted at Gage's mental difficulties, but the medical professional scoffed at the case as patently impossible. The second report, by Professor Henry J. Bigelow of Harvard University, was more widely accepted. This report, however, emphasized Gage's mental recovery was complete. The influence of this publication was such that the case was consistently quoted until 1868 as proof that the cerebral hemispheres had no relation to intellectual function.
In 1868, Harlow again published an account of the case, this time with full details of Gage's mental state following the accident. This account, although published in an obscure journal, quickly changed the concept of the case as reflected in contemporary American publications.
Harlow and Bigelow clearly saw the case from widely divergent viewpoints. Both physicians were young men at the time of the accident. Whereas Harlow as educated in Philadelphia by men whose interest in phrenology is well documented, Bigelow donated his own copies of phrenological works to the Harvard College Library and traveled to Paris where he studied under the most prominent antilocalizationist of his time. Bigelow's status as a newly appointed professor at Harvard, trying to follow in the footsteps of John Collins Warren (who was ardently interested in phrenology), would have been confirmed by a demonstration of the latest Parisian theories of cerebral function. Those theories predicted that Gage would be mentally intact, and Bigelow consistently presented him as such - even before he had met the patient. Bigelow's influence lasted for the next 20 years. If Harlow had not chased his patient across two continents, eventual obtaining both his exhumed skull and the rod that caused the injury, the case would have long since perished in the annals of medicine.
Harlow's version of the case, however, finally gained prominence when quoted by David Ferrier as part of the first modern theory of frontal lobe function in the 1870s.

A special 1889 clock
Over the next century, refinements led in 1889 to Siegmund Riefler's clock with a nearly free pendulum, which attained an accuracy of a hundredth of a second a day and became the standard in many astronomical observatories.

An event or an object is more memorable when it has sounds, pictures, texture and particularly smell associated with it.
This way for memories -- Like most people, you have probably had the odd experience of smelling, say, an old piece of furniture and being reminded of something that happened to you in the distant past. Smell has a particularly strong connection with memory, perhaps because the part of the brain that deals with smell is close to the hippocampus, which is where it is believed long term memories are formed. If you deliberately surround yourself with a particular smell when trying to memorize something, that smell is likely to help trigger the memory later when you need to recall it.

omphaloskepsis: Contemplation of one's navel.

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.”
Spies Online Tips and Tidbits -- Does the person you are looking for have any hobbies or special interests? Most associations publish member directories and maintain mailing lists for their newsletters.
http://www.spiesonline.net/
"Dogs don't make mistakes." -- Sherlock Holmes (The Adventure of Shoscombe Old Place)

NEVER NEVER NEVER QUIT - Winston Churchill

PIN MONEY
The term "Pin Money" originally applied to the annual allowance given to women by their husbands or guardians for the purchase of pins. In the nineteenth century supplemental income earned from the sale of needlework became "pin money."
Americans relied on English imports of pins until the War of 1812 restricted imports making supplies scarce. During the war, convicts at the Greenwich Village State Prison in New York City began manufacturing pins under the direction of some English entrepreneurs. They continued production until the end of the war when imports resumed. In 1832 John J. Howe patented the first successful American pin machine and twenty years later introduced a machine to mount them in sheets for retail sale.
"Pin-Money." Godey's Lady's Book and Magazine, January 1853.

DRESS PATTERNS
"Our Practical Dress Instructor, Evening-Dress."Godey's Lady's Book and Magazine. November, 1854.
With the introduction of the sewing machine periodicals recognized the need for dress patterns, but those provided were often confusing and difficult to make. To prepare a pattern it was necessary to scale it up and resize it for the wearer, then draw it on paper. Madame Demorest's Emporium of Fashion and E. Butterick & Company introduced paper patterns scaled to size after the Civil War.

INVENTION & INNOVATION
The annual number of patents increased dramatically between 1790 and 1850, from an average of 77 per year to 2,525. The items illustrated here offer a glimpse at the variety of inventions intended to improve the craft of needlework. The home knitting machine, largely a failure in the nineteenth century, resurfaced in the twentieth century and developed a substantial following of crafters. Cobalt lenses also found new life a century later as a fashion trend. The original intent of this optical marvel was to ease eyestrain when working on white needlework. Inventions such as the sheep-shearing chair and carpet rag looper were quickly outmoded.
"Lamb Knitting machine" from Horace Greeley's The Great Industries of the United States. 1872.
"McCall's Patent Sheep Shearing Chair." Barnesville, Ohio: C.H. & J.J. McCall, 1876. Centennial Exhibition Trade Card.Naylor and Jefferies.
Perfect Sight: How to Retain It. Imperfect Sight: How to Restore It. Philadelphia: James W. Queen & Co., Opticians, 1876.
Cobalt Eyeglasses. Late Nineteenth Century. Lent by the Ketcham Family.
"The Great Centennial Carpet Rag Looper, patented April 13, 1875." Philadelphia: Girard Printing House, [1875].James W. Queen and Co.

info about symbolic jewelry

Tree of life
Tree of life - the most sacred geometry symbol
The Tree of Life is one of the most familiar of the Sacred Geometry Symbols. The structure of the Tree of Life is connected to the sacred teachings of the Jewish Kabbalah but can be seen 3,000 years earlier in Egypt. It is possible to see the Tree of Life structure in many places around the conscious universe. The structure is represented in nature and relates to the Flower of Life.
The Tree of Life and Seed of Life are products of the same likeness; it is simply the centers of the circles of the Flower of Life and the Seed of Life (See diagram 3).
The Kabbalah Tree of Life is a representation of the thirty-two paths comprised of the ten sefirot and the twenty-two paths through which they run. The Tree of Life describes the descent of the divine into the manifest world, and methods by which the divine union may be attained in this life. It can be viewed as a map of the human psyche, and of the workings of creation, both manifest and not. It is important to realize that the pure nature of divinity is unity, and that the seemingly separate aspects or emanations exist only in view of the emanated, living in a state of illusory separation. The names and numbers of the ten sefirot are given in order below.1 - Kether (Crown) or Kether Elyon (Supreme Crown)2 - Chokmah (Wisdom)3 - Binah (Understanding or Intelligence)4 - Chesed (Mercy or Grace) or Gedullah (Greatness)5 - Geburah (Severity or Power), Din (Judgement) or Pahad (Fear)6 - Tifereth (Beauty) or Rahamim (Mercy)7 - Netsach (Victory or Constancy)8 - Hod (Glory or Majesty)9 - Yesod (Foundation) or Tsedek (Justice)10 - Malkuth (Kingdom) or Shekhinah (Divine Immanence)
Tree of Life and the struggle between light and darkness
To help us understand the importance of the Tree of Life, a story can be told that characterizes the struggle between light and darkness:On the light side the archangel Michael and on the dark side Satan, who abandoned the creator to create a different reality of his own (if you reverse the name SATAN in the Hebrew language you will get the word natash which means-abandoned in Hebrew). Satan (also known as LUCIFER which means THE BRIGHT AND SHINING ONE since he was the most magnificent and brilliant angle ever created), was aware of all the secrets of the creation and the Flower of Life. The first thing he did was to take the construction of the Egg of Life and spin it into a different point of view or perception instead of the star tetrahedron point of view, which can be derived from this shape (check out our explanation about the Flower of Life). This procedure changed our perception of reality. Satan repeated the process of creation out of the great void but instead of copying the actions of the creator, he changed the process of creation out of the great void. Instead of repeating God's creation and creating the seed of life structure, and creating one sphere at a time in a vortex motion, he divided spirit into two; creating two centers (See diagram 2-2C). In this way there are two centers instead of one.
LIGHT and DARKNESS
There is no vortex motion of creating one sphere at a time; instead there is only a duplication process just like cell division only without a certain order or shape. Unlike GOD'S creation which can be seen in the embryo cell division, which provides perfect shapes during the cellular mitosis through the different stages of development. This is the difference between LIGHT and DARKNESS. Light is order, the cosmic laws of creation, while darkness is chaos and death.
Illusion reality
This action created reality that is separated from that of the creator. This version of reality is an illusion. It is a reality where unity is unseen between that which exists and all that happens, thus experiencing reality as good and evil. Therefore one does not feel real love just the use of the intellect.
Tree of life vs. Tree of knowledge
In the Bible there is a description of the Tree of Knowledge (Satan's creation) and the Tree of Life (God's original reality). "The Tree of Life is in the garden and the Tree of Knowledge good and evil". If one tries to draw the Tree of Life upon Satan's dual Flower of Life he will find it impossible as there is no compatibility between them.
Tree of life pendant
The pendant of the Tree of Life forms the key to God's original creation. The pendant's size itself fits exactly to the size of the Seed of Life and the Flower of Life, and can be used as a sign of unity and love as each structure together creates a perfect match. The Tree of Life symbolizes the true existence of God's creation, the only reality to enable the fulfillment of ones destiny and true potential.
Alchemy Symbol
It was this base metal which, in the marvelous alchemy of the spiritual journey, became transmuted into gold
Alchemy - ancient Egyptian wisdom
Alchemy is the practice of transmutation of base metals into precious metals (gold or silver) with the aid of an esoteric substance called the "philosopher's stone". Alchemy is the ability to convert and exchange one matter for another through the use of human consciousness. The word alchemy is taken from the word Chem which is the ancient name of Egypt. The correct translation of the word Alchemy is Egyptian Wisdom.
Alchemy symbol
The alchemy pendant symbol is made from a geometric shape called the cube octahedron. Its base is an octahedron (double pyramid) whose ends were cut in a 90 degree angle. The pendant is called alchemy symbol because of its ability to transform the nature surrounding it.
Buckminster Fuller cube octahedron
The Alchemy pendant shape and its significance was discovered by a researcher by the name of Buckminster Fuller, who found that by spinning the cube in an octahedron shape you produce all the five platonic solids. The five platonic solids produce all the possible molecular structures, meaning all the reality.
The Alchemy symbol structure and the dolphin grid
Every living species on this planet has an electro magnetic grid that surrounds it. Some claim that the structure in this pendant is the structure of the grid of the most developed beings on this planet, the dolphins. The alchemy pendant creates harmonious frequencies, purifying and balancing. It can be hanged in large spaces for purification and to create a harmonious atmosphere.
Mobius ring
That which is below is from that which is above, working the miracles of one(Emerald tablet of Hermes)
Mobius ring - a ring with only one facet
The Mobius ring is the actualization of number of major spiritual ideas that are well established in sacred geometry. To make a Mobius strip, take a paper page and cut it into a strip (24cm height, 4cm width for the sake of convenience). Now give one of the two ends half a twist and then reattach the two ends. This way you will create a Mobius strip. The Mobius ring has only one side. To see it clearly, take a pen and draw a line on the paper ring so that the end of the line reaches the beginning of that same line. You will end up drawing the line on the whole surface of the ring.
There is no difference between the inside and the outside of the Mobius ring. This is an example of the creator which created everything from him self. Man perceives reality in a dualistic manner for good and evil. The dualistic perception of reality does not recognize the one force behind existence.
Cutting the Mobius strip into two!
Take scissors and cut the Mobius strip in the middle - instead of two rings you will end up with one larger Mobius ring! This shows the idea of duality - when you perceive the One through the duality perception you get the illusion.
Cutting the Mobius strip into three!
Now, cut the strip about 1/3 from the width. You will end up with two rings, a big one and a small one, one inside the other. To understand the meaning of this, let's look at the Hebrew names of God.
Mobius strip and the Hebrew names of God
The Jewish tradition prohibits the pronunciation of the name of God. However the names of the Creator (as they appear in the Hebrew old testament) are not names at all but only symbols which lead to truths. The first Hebrew name for God is "EL" which means "into" - a definition of direction without a particular goal (since the creator is everything and everywhere). The numerological value of the first letter in the word "EL" is 1 and the second letter has the numerological value of 3 which means the one who is three or the holy trinity. When you cut the Mobius strip into 1/3 you get the bigger ring - the macro and the Creator and the smaller ring - the creatures, the living beings. Taking the Hebrew word ELOHIM apart you get three words: "EL" (God in a male aspect), "ELA" (God in a female aspect) and "ELIM" meaning gods. Once again we have the holy trinity - male, female and plural.Even the Hebrew name "Yehova" contains the words "haya" (was in Hebrew), "hove" (is now) and "yeeheeye" (will be) giving us the cycle of time…When we realize who we truly are, the cosmic joke will reveal it self!

Miscellaneous poetry and quotes

The Invitation
-- Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love, for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy
fill you to the tips of your fingers
and toes without cautioning us
to be careful, be realistic,
remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live,
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what
or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.



My Philosophy
"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear on cheerfully, do all bravely, awaiting occasions, worry never; in a word to, like the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common."--William Henry Channing


Miguel de Cervantes - "It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it."

Rumor has it - When God takes a vacation, he goes to a Colorado Wilderness!

"Saddle up, lock and load." -- Tom Berenger, Platoon

Jokes

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olive and placing it into a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"Scuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothin' particular," said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having a beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a pure shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irshman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation."
Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity... One of the girls must be quite ill."

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To his amazement, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going, Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"

Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please Lord," he implored, "let it be blood!"

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave & fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time - same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!"
Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
"The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went fishing.

A rabbi and a priest were seated together on a cross-country flight. An attractive flight attendant asked them if they would like cocktails.
"Yes," the rabbi said, "I'd like a Manhattan, please."
"No, thank you," the priest said. Turning to explain to his seatmate, he said, "As a priest, I can't drink or fornicate."
"Wait a second," the rabbi said, standing and waving at the flight attendant. "I didn't know I had a choice."

PIRATE RIDDLES FOR SOPHISTICATES . BY KEVIN SHAY

Q: What's a pirate's favorite aspect of computational linguistics?
A: PARRRsing sentences.

Q: Of which concept shared by Jungian psychology and Northrop Frye's literary theory are pirates especially fond?
A: ARRRchetype.

Q: Of all of Richard Harris's many achievements in the performing arts, which is a pirate's favorite?
A: "MacARRRthur PARRRk."

Q: What's a pirate's favorite alliance-creating diplomatic agreement from the Second World War?
A: The TripARRRtite Pact.

Q: Which ancient Greek lyric poet do pirates like the best?
A: PindARRR.

Q: If a pirate were to recite one of the Olympian odes by the aforementioned poet, which one would it be?
A: The XIth Nemean Ode, "To ARRRistagoras, the Prytanis of Tenedos, son of ARRRchesilaus."

Q: If that same pirate were then to recite a 20th-century poem about the nature of poetry, what would it be?
A: "ARRRs Poetica" by ARRRchibald MacLeish.

Q: What if he went on to recite a poem by Sir Walter Scott?
A: "LochinvARRR."

Q: Of the ghosts that appear to Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol," which do pirates prefer?

A: Jacob MARRRley.