How to flame a blog post

Dear Blogger:
[_] Clueless b00b
[_] Lamer
[_] Flamer
[_] Pervert
[_] Sexist
[_] Spammer
[_] Racist
[_] Idiot
[_] Dumbass
[_] Troller
[_] "Expert"
[_] Wannabe
[_] Waste of Life
[_] Other: America-basher
[_] All of the above
You are being flamed because:
[_] You made an "Off-Topic" post.
[_] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand.
[_] You started a pointless thread.
[_] You bumped a pointless thread.
[_] Your post contained nothing but crap.
[_] You can't spell more than 3 words right.
[_] Your awful markup made the post unreadable.
[_] You made a useless assumption.
[_] You posted ALL IN CAPS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
[_] YoU tYpEd SoMeThInG lAmE lIkE tHiS.
[_] You say you're "1337".
[_] You posted a topic that's been posted 23 times already.
[_] You're posting something illegal and will be banned anyway.
[_] You're asking for something illegal.
To repent, you must:
[_] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing.
[_] Stab yourself in the eye with a pen.
[_] Give up your internet account.
[_] Eat paint chips for the next 6 months.
[_] Tell your mommy to up your meds.
[_] Jump into a bathtub with a toaster.
[_] Actually post something relevant.
[_] Read and memorize the rules.
[_] Leave these boards forever.
[_] Print your home phone number.
[_] Simply shut up.
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[_] Blow me
[_] Get a life
[_] Never post again
[_] I pity your dog
[_] Your IQ must be 7
[_] Take your rejection somewhere else
[_] STFU & GFYS
[_] Learn to post
[_] Go jump into some industrial equipment
[_] All of the above