Monday, June 25, 2007

Prison Survival Guide

Yikes.

Always be respectful and polite to other prisoners, regardless of how weird they may act or dress. First, because you don't know who or what they are, and second, because respect and personal dignity are the most valued possessions left to a prisoner.

Never tell another prisoner what to do or give anyone orders. Don't tell the noisy ones in the law library to be quiet. Prisoners deeply resent being bossed around by another prisoner. Their likely response -- even to a polite request -- is, "What are you, a f---in' cop?"

Never stare at another prisoner for more than a second or two. He may be a walking powder keg, set off by an intrusive stare. He may either assault you on the spot or wait until darkness. Even if he doesn't kill you outright, your face will never look the same again.

Avoid anyone offering to “take you under their wing” or help you out. Generally, they are booty bandits, or Jailhouse pimps running a well thought out and practiced game against you.

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