Glossary of Bureaucracy

Glossary of Bureaucracy

“It’s being evaluated.” We forgot all about it.
“Project” A word that makes a minor job seem major.
“Program” A project requiring a telephone call.
“Under Consideration” Never heard about it until now.
“Under Active Consideration” We’re trying to locate the correspondence.
“We’re making a survey.” We need more time to think up an answer.
“Let’s get together on this.” You’re probably as mixed up as I am.
“We’ll advise you in due course.” If we figure it out, we’ll let you know.
“We can go over this at lunch.” It’s time we ate on your expense account.
“Reliable source” The person you just met.
“Informed source” The person who told the person you just met.
“Unimpeachable source” The fellow who really started the rumor.
“Channels” The trail left by inter-office memos.
“To negotiate” To seek a meeting of minds without the knocking together of heads.
“Re-orientation” Getting used to working again.
“Give us the benefit of your present thinking.” We’ll listen to what you have to
say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we
have already decided to do.
“Activate” Make more copies and add names to the memo.
“Implement” Hire more people and expand the office.
“Forwarded for your consideration” You hold the bag for a while.
“Expediter” End man in game of Pass-the-Buck.
“Coordinator” The guy who has a desk between two expediters.
“Note and Initial” Let’s spread the responsibility.