Sunday, July 16, 2006
Wild West Where Are You?
A recent post by a friend of mine inspired me to write this piece. His recent post in reply to an editorial about concealed weapon rights (link), especially the point about citizens shooting criminals trying to rob a bank, led me to a startling revelation. This single point led to me to thought that what this society needs is exactly that: more bank shootouts. And this thought led me to the idea that perhaps we need more than bank shootouts to fix our broken society. What we need ladies and gentlmen is to bring the Wild West back to life in all its glory.
What exactly is wrong with our society today? Too much corruption, lies, and deceit within the government. There is little to no respect amongst citizens. Our justice system is being clogged like a fat guy chowing down on a Super-Sized 1/4lb hamburger with salty fries thanks to all the frivolous lawsuits which are filed all too easily and quickly. Illegal immigrants are flooding the borders, which has always occured, but they are finally opening their eyes. Gang activity is rampid and unchecked because there are no vigilante armies to check them. With all these problems today, one would think we would try to fix them, but people the fixes don't work. Throwing money at all our problems doesn't do anything, the "war on drugs" is a perfect example of this. Now you may be thinking to yourself, "If you think you can do a better job, prove it;" well, I intend to because what I have is a fix-all to all our problems today.
First, every citizen should go out and pick up the following ASAP: 1 (preferably 2) Colt six shooter, 1 Percussion Derringer or 1 Double Derringer, 1 gun holster (preferably a double gun holster rig) with ammo belt, 1 Model 1892 Lever Action Carbine Rifle, 1 pair cowboy boots, 1 cowboy hat, 1 bandana (black, red, or blue), 2 pairs of blue-jeans, 1 vest (leather preferable), 2 pairs of longsleeve shirts (black, blue, or white), 1 overcoat, 1 tent complete with camping necessities, 1 horse with saddle, 2 saddle bags, and 1 box of cigars. Once these items are acquired, the citizen is ready to take on the ails of society.
Lets begin with the problem of the corrupted government. Lies and deceit have led us into an era of uneasiness and paranoia and, well, that just ain't comfortable to live in. Today's fix would be to elect a different corrupted politician or protesting. While this may fix the problem for a short period of time, in the long run the government continues to be corrupted. Bring in the Wild West Solution. The highest form of government a cowboy ever had troubles with was the Mayor, but mostly the Sheriff. Sure there was a President in office, but the legislature rarely affected a cowboy because there was no big force to enfore such legislation, so as I said, the highest political position a cowboy ever really encountered a problem with was the Sheriff and Mayor. If there was a problem, the cowboy wouldn't take to the street with a big, cardboard sign or set up a debate. The cowboy would simply state his problem with the Mayor and/or Sheriff to them personally. If the Mayor/Sheriff did not reply with an acceptable answer, the two would duel and settle the political debate. Cowboys had the right way of thinking; if it worked for Hamilton and Burr, it worked for them and it would work for us, although it looks like Mr. Chaney has already started practicing.
The lack of repsect amongst citizens is very disturbing as is showcased by the ability to file a lawsuit against anyone, for anything. Everybody wants to be paid for their troubles in life, never taking the blame themselves, they pass it along to someone else, which usually results in a frivolous lawsuit which keeps our justice system clogged and inefficient. Enter the Wild West Solution. A cowboy respected another cowboy, simply because he had to. Lack of respect often got you in trouble and you wanted to avoid trouble as much as possible. If a problem did arise, the solution to said problem would depend on the severity of the problem. If the problem was relatively simple, such as a smart-ass answer or a weird glance, the cowboys would solve the problem with a nice game of fisticuffs. If the severity of the problem was high, such as cheating in Poker, sleeping with a cowboy's significant other, or stealing a cowboy's hat, the problem would be solved with a duel, often on Main Street and at high noon. Who wants to drag every single problem through the courts when you can simply punch and shoot at your argument?
Illegal immigrants, within recent months, have become focus of a lot of political and media attention. Illegal immigrants have started to wake up and open their eyes that although this country isn't the greatest, its better than back home. Everybody's getting worked up because illegals immigrants are protesting, but hey, why not? They've finally started waking up to the fact that we're taking advantage of them and they don't like it. So, what's the Wild West Solution? Well, we continue taking advantage of them, but we have to keep them from knowing that we're taking advantage of their cheap labor. Make them feel important. Start building another transcontinental railroad and get immigrants who don't speak english to work on it. The less schooling the better also. The less they know, the better they work and more money is saved.
Finally, we have the unchecked gangs of today. Sure, there are the opposing gangs to check the other gangs, but there is no gang thats for the wellfare and safety of the community. One gang is the same as everyother gang; they're violent, they pollute the community, and they're very bad. Yippie Ki-Yay the Wild West Solution is on the way. The community must band together to form their own gang, but this gang is good. Its like the local Citizens Watch but with a lot more force. You see a Blood running around tagging your building, you cap him in the ass and show him you mean business. Is a Crypt robbing the local bank? Well you pull out your Colt six shooter and put some lead in the head. The Sheriff is outmanned against the gang, but the citizens have power in numbers and should be forced to keep their community clean.
By now it should be clear that reverting back to the ways of the old West is clearly the easiest solution to the above problems and if anybody has a better idea, I would love to hear it. Thank you.
f you support my idea, please post a comment with a picture of yourself in a cowboy hat. THANKS!
posted by Chase @ 7/16/2006 10:03:00 AM
http://times-of-trouble.blogspot.com/
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