Posts
Why do you turn off your computer by going to “start”?
I can’t see the cursor through the smoke.
Is it safe to use a fire extinguisher on a computer?
My laptop was working before I went through the car wash.
Do you remember that Trojan horse you warned me about last week?
My thingy is broken.
I thought that drawer was a hideaway cup holder.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Definitions
Sleep start – the weird – and very common – phenomenon of experiencing a sudden contraction of the muscles while falling asleep. Seeing a flash of bright light is a visual sleep start, and hearing a loud noise is an auditory sleep start. The sensations are usually meaningless, but mention them to your doctor, just in case.
Anarthrous - Without the article. In reference to a noun. Anarthrous nouns are generally translated in English with the indefinite article ("a, an"). However, some anarthrous nouns are qualitative and are often translated without an article. See Articular.
ADJECTIVE: 1. Linguistics Occurring without an article. Used especially of Greek nouns. 2. Zoology Lacking joints.
ETYMOLOGY: From Greek anarthros, not articulated : an-, without; see a–1 + arthron, joint; see ar- in Appendix I.
www.Baidu.com Chinese search engine
Anarthrous - Without the article. In reference to a noun. Anarthrous nouns are generally translated in English with the indefinite article ("a, an"). However, some anarthrous nouns are qualitative and are often translated without an article. See Articular.
ADJECTIVE: 1. Linguistics Occurring without an article. Used especially of Greek nouns. 2. Zoology Lacking joints.
ETYMOLOGY: From Greek anarthros, not articulated : an-, without; see a–1 + arthron, joint; see ar- in Appendix I.
www.Baidu.com Chinese search engine
Dr. Phil's Test
Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!
Read on, this is very interesting!
Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends.
The person who sent it placed their score in the e-mail subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends (send it back to the person who sent it to you.) Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.
Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready.
This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question.
Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to friends/family, and also send it to the person who sent this to you. Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box.
Ready??
Begin.
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the e face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you. . .
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with....
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
A) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
G) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too qui coli or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken .
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who does not want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
Now forward this to others, and put your score in the subject box of your e-mail, like this: Dr. Phil's Test, I'm a 38
Read on, this is very interesting!
Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends.
The person who sent it placed their score in the e-mail subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends (send it back to the person who sent it to you.) Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.
Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready.
This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question.
Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to friends/family, and also send it to the person who sent this to you. Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box.
Ready??
Begin.
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the e face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you. . .
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with....
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
A) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
G) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too qui coli or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken .
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who does not want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
Now forward this to others, and put your score in the subject box of your e-mail, like this: Dr. Phil's Test, I'm a 38
I Think Santa Claus Is A Woman....
by unknown to me
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they--with amazing calm--call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.
Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: ~ Men can't pack a bag. ~ Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. ~ Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves. ~ Men don't answer their mail. ~ Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." ~ Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. ~ Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick.
Not a chance.
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they--with amazing calm--call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.
Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: ~ Men can't pack a bag. ~ Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. ~ Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves. ~ Men don't answer their mail. ~ Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." ~ Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. ~ Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick.
Not a chance.
A few quotes
"A woman who goes to bed with a man ought to lay aside her modesty with her skirt, and put it on again with her petticoat." [Michel de Montaigne c1560]
“There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder." -- Charles Morgan
To those I may have harmed, I apologize, rest assured it was unintentional. To those who have harmed me, I forgive you, even if it was your intent. -- Tricia Ares http://modernmatriarch.wordpress.com/2007/09/
It's all about whether the attentions are welcome, isn't it? I mean if a guy says to you: "I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you." It could either be the creepiest thing you've ever heard, or the sexiest!
A good book should leave you…slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it. -- William Styron
Never judge a book by its movie. -- J.W. Eagan
A room without books is like a body without a soul. -- Cicero
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain
A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. -- attributed to George Elliot
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it." -- William Claude Dunkenfield (W. C. Fields)
~~Self-Control~~ From: Onward to Fame and Fortune Dated: 1897 Author: William M. Thayer
"There is a distinction between self-possession and self-control. The former refers to a certain grip which the will has upon the powers under great and sudden temptation to evil or fear, producing calmness when excitement would be almost excusable. The latter refers to a deeper, stronger grip upon the faculties, holding them to that which is true under all circumstances, that the highest manhood and womanhood may be the result. Hence, the highest authority declares, 'He that ruleth his own spirit is greater than he who taketh a city.' 'Self-control is only courage under another form.' One writes: 'We think it is far more than that -- it is master of all the virtues, including courage. If not so, how can it control them so as to develop into the noblest, purest character?'
“There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder." -- Charles Morgan
To those I may have harmed, I apologize, rest assured it was unintentional. To those who have harmed me, I forgive you, even if it was your intent. -- Tricia Ares http://modernmatriarch.wordpress.com/2007/09/
It's all about whether the attentions are welcome, isn't it? I mean if a guy says to you: "I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you." It could either be the creepiest thing you've ever heard, or the sexiest!
A good book should leave you…slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it. -- William Styron
Never judge a book by its movie. -- J.W. Eagan
A room without books is like a body without a soul. -- Cicero
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain
A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. -- attributed to George Elliot
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it." -- William Claude Dunkenfield (W. C. Fields)
~~Self-Control~~ From: Onward to Fame and Fortune Dated: 1897 Author: William M. Thayer
"There is a distinction between self-possession and self-control. The former refers to a certain grip which the will has upon the powers under great and sudden temptation to evil or fear, producing calmness when excitement would be almost excusable. The latter refers to a deeper, stronger grip upon the faculties, holding them to that which is true under all circumstances, that the highest manhood and womanhood may be the result. Hence, the highest authority declares, 'He that ruleth his own spirit is greater than he who taketh a city.' 'Self-control is only courage under another form.' One writes: 'We think it is far more than that -- it is master of all the virtues, including courage. If not so, how can it control them so as to develop into the noblest, purest character?'
A few words
Bandera
Buffalo chips
Claptrap
Naïve
Military conscription
Grazier
Visionary
Exonerated
Stubborn heart
CAPTURING THE COWBOY'S HEART
KIDNAPPED COWBOY/THE RELUCTANT RESCUER
STEALING THE SHERIFF'S HEART
Buffalo chips
Claptrap
Naïve
Military conscription
Grazier
Visionary
Exonerated
Stubborn heart
CAPTURING THE COWBOY'S HEART
KIDNAPPED COWBOY/THE RELUCTANT RESCUER
STEALING THE SHERIFF'S HEART
The Legend of Chief Namekagon's Lost Silver Mine
After the old Indian was found dead near Marengo Station people believed the secret of the mine's location died with him...but did it?
by Herbert Wagner
Copyright 1990 Herbert Wagner, all rights reserved.
Originally published in: WISCONSIN OUTDOOR JOURNAL
A few years after the War of 1812, Governor Lewis Cass of Michigan Territory led an expedition through Lake Superior. The purpose of the voyage was to assert American sovereignty over the region and to investigate its potential mineral wealth. Arriving at La Pointe in the Apostle Islands, Cass heard a legend that has haunted northern Wisconsin to the present day.
La Pointe in the 19th century
While addressing a counsel of Native Americans Cass inquired if there were any metallic ores or minerals in the surrounding country. One Indian boldly stepped forth and told of a vein of silver in the mainland interior to the south. Other Indians present angrily condemned the story as false. While members of the expedition urged Cass to investigate further the governor resisted this temptation because time was short and the information was vague at best.
Historians today will lament this failure to pursue this early claim of a native silver deposit, a hunt may have proven fruitless anyway. In spite of 180 years of sporadic attempts to find this silver mine in northwest Wisconsin, it has remained hidden to the present day. Over the years people have claimed they were close to finding it, but like a will-o-the-wisp the exact location always fades back into the rugged hills and deep forest to beckon and tantalize the imagination.
After the Cass visit in 1820 the Indians and their silver were left in peace for another 20 years. Then in 1841 Douglass Houghton reported on the existence of valuable minerals on Lake Superior. A treaty was signed with the Chippewa in 1842 that opened the south shore to American settlement. As a result, prospectors, geologists, land speculators, and adventurers burst upon the scene overnight.
1850s prospector camp
This quest for copper, iron, and other minerals sparked the first large-scale mining rush in U.S. history. In this frantic scramble to discover mineral wealth, the indigenous Ojibwe people were routinely bribed or spied upon in the belief they knew the location of rich metallic veins. This was a disturbing change because in the Native American world view the treasures of the mineral kingdom were considered "Manitou" and part of "the great mystery of existence." The Ojibwe had no desire to see American miners blast the rocks and dig out the sacred metals. As a result they became secretive about their intimate knowledge of the region and its minerals.
One early American trader who claimed to know something about the Indian's silver vein was Benjamin Armstrong, a trader who lived at La Pointe in the 1840s. Because he was son-in-law to Chief Buffalo, Armstrong claimed to know many Indian secrets. In the 1890s Armstrong would recall how in the early days of his life at La Pointe the local tribe had obtained silver from a single rich source for decorating ceremonial pipes and for other purposes. Whenever silver was needed, Armstrong said, one Indian elder was sent to procure it. He would travel in great secrecy somewhere away to the south on the mainland and after an absence of several days would return with metallic silver in pure elemental form.
Routinely bribed or followed, Native Americans became secretive about mineral locations
After 1842 and the rush of prospectors into the Lake Superior region, the Indian elder spoke at one of the great tribal councils held at La Pointe. He told that the Great Manitou was angry at these incursions into the region and the blasting apart of rocks. The result was that the elder's mind had been clouded concerning the silver vein's location. He could still picture the general setting of the mine, he said, but no longer knew how to find it. He said that the silver vein was located inside a narrow crevice in the rock and surrounded by loose boulders and heavy timber. Barely wide enough for him to enter, it opened up into a small cave once he was inside. By torchlight he could pick up or cut off pieces of silver as needed. But he had always been careful, he said, not to search for any hidden metal but only taking that lying in plain sight. To do otherwise was to disturb the Great Spirit. It was this rude disturbace by Euro-American prospectors that angered the spirits and made it impossible for him to locate the silver vein any longer.
The silver vein was located in a crevice or small cave in the bedrock
Was old man Armstrong yarning or telling the facts? From the vantage of today it is difficult to know what to think about such pioneer tales. Several other versions of this story circulated around Ashland that were said to date back to the old American Fur Company days of the 1840s and earlier. From these accounts it is evident that by the 1890s a long tradition already existed of a rich silver deposit somewhere in northwest Wisconsin. But where? The exact location -- never widely known -- had been lost!
These old stories had taken on new urgency after the completion of the Wisconsin Central Railroad to Ashland in 1877. Then the city on Chequamegon Bay boomed. Perhaps inspired by the old legends a new generation began exploring the "mineral range" south of the city. In 1878 Daniel Morgan brought in samples of rock that he claimed contained gold and silver values. Soon waves of hopeful prospectors were combing the crags and river valleys for indications of valuable minerals. Mining camps sprang up along the Bad, Brunsweiler, Marengo, and Namekagon Rivers. Locations with high-sounding names such as the Chicago and Lake Superior Mine, the Bayfield Mine, the Northern Belle Mine, and the Enterprise Mine opened offices and sold shares to investors. For several years talk of the "gold and silver region" was big news around Ashland. Assays reported silver and gold values from many of these prospects, but nothing big came of the excitement. Many people were convinced, however, that these mineral indications proved the old legends correct. That somewhere in the wild interior of Bayfield or Ashland counties a rich vein of silver indeed existed.
Marengo River
Sometime in the late 1880s stories began to circulate once again about the lost silver mine, and again intimating that one person and one person alone knew its exact location. Curiously, it was again a Native American man believed to possess the secret. This time it was an Indian known as Old Ice Feathers and later referred to as Chief Namekagon. The abode of this hermit was an island in the northern part of Lake Namekagon in Bayfield County.
About 1884 the writer George Francis Thomas visited Old Ice Feathers and wrote down his sad tale. It was printed in a slender volume of northern Wisconsinia entitled "Legends of the Land of Lakes." According to this romanticized account Ice Feathers had fled Sault Ste. Marie in his youth when accused of murdering his lover's father. A dream had led him to the island in Lake Namekagon. For a time he had lived there with three wives, but then "spirits" told him to drive his wives away. Afterward he lived alone on the island with his great hope being a future reunion with his early love in the spirit world.
Curiously this 1884 account makes no mention of silver. So it must have been after that date that Old Ice Feathers picked up the title Chief Namekagon and his knowledge of a silver mine of unparalleled richness. Because soon stories began to circulate that Chief Namekagon was quietly bringing in nuggets of pure silver when he visited Ashland for supplies. A timber cruiser named Sam Campbell, who lived a few miles north of Lake Namekagon at Grand View, claimed that he first heard the story around 1890. Campbell said that Chief Namekagon was bringing the silver to three local Ashland men: Thomas Bardon, Dr. Ellis, and Henry Weed.
Thomas Bardon
According to Campbell's story, these Ashland men convinced the old Indian to take them to his mine. An expedition was launched, but when a black bear crossed their path Namekagon took it as a bad omen and refused to go any further.
Not long afterward a settler named Thomas Mattson found the old Indian dead near Marengo Station, some said under suspicious circumstances. Those around Ashland who believed in the silver mine at all thought the secret of its location had died with him. But did it? Others claimed that the silver mine's locale had gotten out. Rumors ran wild. The trouble was that none of the stories of the mine's location matched!
When a black bear crossed their path they turned back
In 1890, Henry Weed and associates opened a prospect on a mineral vein near the Eau Claire Lakes some 17 miles west of Lake Namekagon. They called it the Montrose Mine. Did Weed think that the old Indian had been obtaining his silver there? Some of the best finds of native copper occur nearby with old mining shafts and pits dotting the area.
At least one other person believed the lost mine lay west of Lake Namekagon. We know this from Tony Wise, the Hayward native who developed the Telemark ski hill near Cable, Wisconsin. Wise first heard of the lost silver mine legend when trying to buy the future Telemark property in the late 1940s. The hill's owner at that time, Walter Klish, knew vague stories of supposed silver diggings along the nearby Namekagon River and was convinced his hill contained the mother lode. Wise had to convince Klish that it was a ski hill he was after and not a silver mine before the suspicious old man would sell.
Yet most observers believed that the lost silver mine lay north and east of Lake Namekagon. Two old-timers who this writer met and interviewed back in the 1980s believed they had key details to this enduring mystery.
One was "Hoot" Olson of Mellen, Wisconsin, then in his late eighties. Olson had detailed information about two people who knew the mine's exact location and had visited it after Chief Namekagon's death. He heard the story from his stepfather's dad, Ted Klicks, who in turn obtained it from a logger named Hoeppner. Somehow Hoeppner had gotten a line on another man who was seen bringing silver out of the woods not far from today's Copper Falls State Park.
Hoot Olson of Mellen knew details of the mine's location
"Hoeppner was a hard case," Olson told me. "He had been an Indian fighter out West and had two dark eyes with a stare that bored holes right through
you. He started to follow this other man when he passed through the logging camp. In time he discovered where the man was leaving the Wisconsin Central railroad tracks and was entering the woods. He waited for good tracking snow, and then made his move."
At that point in this detailed account, Hoeppner, who confessed it during a heavy drinking bout with Ted Klicks, became uneasy and vague in the telling. This raises questions: Who was the man that Hoeppner had followed to the mine? What became of him? Was, perhaps, murder involved? Because when Klicks wanted more details about the mine, Hoeppner grew sullen and secretive. He acted confused. All he would say was that he could not find the place anymore, but could remember its setting. "Hoeppner described the place as tight as a 'dog hole' that had been covered up with logs and brush," Olson revealed, "but opened up once you were inside. There was a vein of silver thick enough to cut off pieces with a hatchet. He could prove it too. Hoeppner showed Klicks a piece of silver as big as a man's hand."
One additional detail that Hoeppner remembered was that when he was near the mine he could hear the whistle of the Wisconsin Central locomotive as it came around the big bend near Mellen and Penokee Gap.
According to Olson, Klicks and Hoeppner had searched for the mine for many years without success. Hoeppner always thought he would find it again, but he never did. Hoot Olson, who has tramped the woods once or twice himself in search of the mine in his younger years, has this advice for the potential treasure hunter. "Some people think the silver mine is up along the Brunsweiler River," he said, "but I don't think so. Hoeppner was going east along the railroad tracks when he was trailing that man. Therefore the vein should be near or somewhat north of the Bad River Gap near Copper Falls."
Copper Falls
Maybe. This could be the necessary clue to rediscover the lost mine and set this long-standing mystery to rest once and for all. And there is still plenty of quiet interest in finding the old silver vein. People still attempt to trace Chief Namekagon's route to Ashland. From Bill Johnson, an old farmer who lived near Morgan Falls where Dan Morgan had his gold mine, I heard another version of the lost mine legend when I visited him back in the 1980s.
Johnson's father, who had homesteaded the farm a hundred years earlier, once told Bill a story he held fast to until his dying breath. It seems that on his way to Ashland, Chief Namekagon followed an old trail that crossed the Johnson farm. One day as a storm approached the farmer encountered the old Indian in the woods. "It was late in the afternoon and it started to rain," Johnson told me. "Chief Namekagon came along about then and they took him in and fed him. It was late so dad asked him to stay the night. That was the time people first claimed he had silver. Apparently he didn't have it when he stopped at our place, but the next day when he got down to Mattson's farm near Birch Lake he did have silver. Somewhere along the way he must have picked the silver up."
Mattson! Wasn't that the name of the fellow who found the chief dead near Marengo Station? Just odd coincidence or something more sinister? Bill Johnson, who claimed to know "every hill and hollow" in the area long searched for the place where Namkagon was getting out the silver. He believed the location was in the hills south of his farm. "The silver couldn't have been far off Namekagon's line of travel," Johnson speculated. "I myself have found places in these hills where digging has been done. Some of it was done secretly too."
Then I asked Johnson how he knew the location where he thought Chief Namekagon was digging the silver. He hesitated a moment before telling me and then revealed that he had dreamed it!
Bill Johnson with a mineral speciman found near his farm
"I had this dream the night before," Johnson admitted. "In the dream I was looking up at a certain rock hill. The next day I was out trying to find some cows when I went by some rocks. I stopped. It was the place I had dreamed about! Because of that I scouted around some and that's when I found where someone had been breaking off the rock. I can't prove that's where Chief Namekagon got the silver. Maybe he had more than one place."
Bill Johnson was certain the area near his farm is rich with mineral wealth. In his lifetime in that area locals refer to as Morgan Heights he has seen both amateur prospectors and big mining companies go through. A look at the geological map of the area shows that numerous Precambrian rock bodies straddle the region between Mellen and Lake Namekagon. The area is broken up by a complex system of ancient faults and rifting that may form conduits and passageways for rich mineral-bearing solutions that deposited valuable metallic wealth in the rock.
"The mineral is here," Johnson confided to me. "When old man Skrupky came up from Rice Lake he had an instrument to locate metals with. It was an odd L-shaped deal with a handle on one end and a point that spun around on a bearing on the other end. Skrupky put a small piece of silver into the contraption. I guess that was supposed to attract the pointer to silver in the ground. Anyway, we went up that hill over there and the instrument started to swing back and forth, back and forth, as if it couldn’t make up its mind which way to go. We went up a little farther and the thing started spinning in circles. We went up higher yet and I tried it. 'You have to hold it flat to make it work," Skrupky said, but I told him,'That's what you think. Just watch.' It started swinging back and forth, back and forth. When it got up enough momentum it started swinging around in circles. It spun like crazy. It spun so fast that the little bearing in the handle burned out. There's just got to be something in the rocks here. I know it!"
If upon reading this account you feel an urge to go hunt for this long lost silver mine be prepared for an adventure. A good place to start might be the village park in Grand View just off of State Highway 63. There a historical marker tells one version of the old legend. From there you can strike east in the direction of Morgan Falls or beyond toward the Brunsweiler and Bad rivers. If you prefer another route you can head southwest toward Cable and the Eau Claire Lakes -- other possible locations of the lost mine. Or you might go directly south to Lake Namekagon and visit the island off Missionary Point that was home to Old Ice Feathers. Maybe after a visit there you will dream the silver mine's location. Others have.
Memory of the old Indian chief lingers
Although your chance of finding the lost mine is probably slim one truth stands forth like a nugget of shining silver. As you travel through this region of dark forests and murmuring cascades, of jewel-like lakes and mysterious hills, it might weave its magic around you as it has for so many others. Even if you fail in your search and never find a speck of mineral wealth you might find another treasure greater than anything that can be dug up and possessed. A perfect wealth of unlimited proportions. The treasure that the Indians have known about all along: The quality of enchantment.
Herbert Wagner is a historian and author from Northern Wisconsin.
If you enjoyed reading this story, I'm sure that your Harley-Davidson loving friends will equally enjoy reading my newest book: At the Creation, Myth, Reality, and the Origin of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle. Ordering information for this perfect gift item can be found at:
At the Creation Homepage
by Herbert Wagner
Copyright 1990 Herbert Wagner, all rights reserved.
Originally published in: WISCONSIN OUTDOOR JOURNAL
A few years after the War of 1812, Governor Lewis Cass of Michigan Territory led an expedition through Lake Superior. The purpose of the voyage was to assert American sovereignty over the region and to investigate its potential mineral wealth. Arriving at La Pointe in the Apostle Islands, Cass heard a legend that has haunted northern Wisconsin to the present day.
La Pointe in the 19th century
While addressing a counsel of Native Americans Cass inquired if there were any metallic ores or minerals in the surrounding country. One Indian boldly stepped forth and told of a vein of silver in the mainland interior to the south. Other Indians present angrily condemned the story as false. While members of the expedition urged Cass to investigate further the governor resisted this temptation because time was short and the information was vague at best.
Historians today will lament this failure to pursue this early claim of a native silver deposit, a hunt may have proven fruitless anyway. In spite of 180 years of sporadic attempts to find this silver mine in northwest Wisconsin, it has remained hidden to the present day. Over the years people have claimed they were close to finding it, but like a will-o-the-wisp the exact location always fades back into the rugged hills and deep forest to beckon and tantalize the imagination.
After the Cass visit in 1820 the Indians and their silver were left in peace for another 20 years. Then in 1841 Douglass Houghton reported on the existence of valuable minerals on Lake Superior. A treaty was signed with the Chippewa in 1842 that opened the south shore to American settlement. As a result, prospectors, geologists, land speculators, and adventurers burst upon the scene overnight.
1850s prospector camp
This quest for copper, iron, and other minerals sparked the first large-scale mining rush in U.S. history. In this frantic scramble to discover mineral wealth, the indigenous Ojibwe people were routinely bribed or spied upon in the belief they knew the location of rich metallic veins. This was a disturbing change because in the Native American world view the treasures of the mineral kingdom were considered "Manitou" and part of "the great mystery of existence." The Ojibwe had no desire to see American miners blast the rocks and dig out the sacred metals. As a result they became secretive about their intimate knowledge of the region and its minerals.
One early American trader who claimed to know something about the Indian's silver vein was Benjamin Armstrong, a trader who lived at La Pointe in the 1840s. Because he was son-in-law to Chief Buffalo, Armstrong claimed to know many Indian secrets. In the 1890s Armstrong would recall how in the early days of his life at La Pointe the local tribe had obtained silver from a single rich source for decorating ceremonial pipes and for other purposes. Whenever silver was needed, Armstrong said, one Indian elder was sent to procure it. He would travel in great secrecy somewhere away to the south on the mainland and after an absence of several days would return with metallic silver in pure elemental form.
Routinely bribed or followed, Native Americans became secretive about mineral locations
After 1842 and the rush of prospectors into the Lake Superior region, the Indian elder spoke at one of the great tribal councils held at La Pointe. He told that the Great Manitou was angry at these incursions into the region and the blasting apart of rocks. The result was that the elder's mind had been clouded concerning the silver vein's location. He could still picture the general setting of the mine, he said, but no longer knew how to find it. He said that the silver vein was located inside a narrow crevice in the rock and surrounded by loose boulders and heavy timber. Barely wide enough for him to enter, it opened up into a small cave once he was inside. By torchlight he could pick up or cut off pieces of silver as needed. But he had always been careful, he said, not to search for any hidden metal but only taking that lying in plain sight. To do otherwise was to disturb the Great Spirit. It was this rude disturbace by Euro-American prospectors that angered the spirits and made it impossible for him to locate the silver vein any longer.
The silver vein was located in a crevice or small cave in the bedrock
Was old man Armstrong yarning or telling the facts? From the vantage of today it is difficult to know what to think about such pioneer tales. Several other versions of this story circulated around Ashland that were said to date back to the old American Fur Company days of the 1840s and earlier. From these accounts it is evident that by the 1890s a long tradition already existed of a rich silver deposit somewhere in northwest Wisconsin. But where? The exact location -- never widely known -- had been lost!
These old stories had taken on new urgency after the completion of the Wisconsin Central Railroad to Ashland in 1877. Then the city on Chequamegon Bay boomed. Perhaps inspired by the old legends a new generation began exploring the "mineral range" south of the city. In 1878 Daniel Morgan brought in samples of rock that he claimed contained gold and silver values. Soon waves of hopeful prospectors were combing the crags and river valleys for indications of valuable minerals. Mining camps sprang up along the Bad, Brunsweiler, Marengo, and Namekagon Rivers. Locations with high-sounding names such as the Chicago and Lake Superior Mine, the Bayfield Mine, the Northern Belle Mine, and the Enterprise Mine opened offices and sold shares to investors. For several years talk of the "gold and silver region" was big news around Ashland. Assays reported silver and gold values from many of these prospects, but nothing big came of the excitement. Many people were convinced, however, that these mineral indications proved the old legends correct. That somewhere in the wild interior of Bayfield or Ashland counties a rich vein of silver indeed existed.
Marengo River
Sometime in the late 1880s stories began to circulate once again about the lost silver mine, and again intimating that one person and one person alone knew its exact location. Curiously, it was again a Native American man believed to possess the secret. This time it was an Indian known as Old Ice Feathers and later referred to as Chief Namekagon. The abode of this hermit was an island in the northern part of Lake Namekagon in Bayfield County.
About 1884 the writer George Francis Thomas visited Old Ice Feathers and wrote down his sad tale. It was printed in a slender volume of northern Wisconsinia entitled "Legends of the Land of Lakes." According to this romanticized account Ice Feathers had fled Sault Ste. Marie in his youth when accused of murdering his lover's father. A dream had led him to the island in Lake Namekagon. For a time he had lived there with three wives, but then "spirits" told him to drive his wives away. Afterward he lived alone on the island with his great hope being a future reunion with his early love in the spirit world.
Curiously this 1884 account makes no mention of silver. So it must have been after that date that Old Ice Feathers picked up the title Chief Namekagon and his knowledge of a silver mine of unparalleled richness. Because soon stories began to circulate that Chief Namekagon was quietly bringing in nuggets of pure silver when he visited Ashland for supplies. A timber cruiser named Sam Campbell, who lived a few miles north of Lake Namekagon at Grand View, claimed that he first heard the story around 1890. Campbell said that Chief Namekagon was bringing the silver to three local Ashland men: Thomas Bardon, Dr. Ellis, and Henry Weed.
Thomas Bardon
According to Campbell's story, these Ashland men convinced the old Indian to take them to his mine. An expedition was launched, but when a black bear crossed their path Namekagon took it as a bad omen and refused to go any further.
Not long afterward a settler named Thomas Mattson found the old Indian dead near Marengo Station, some said under suspicious circumstances. Those around Ashland who believed in the silver mine at all thought the secret of its location had died with him. But did it? Others claimed that the silver mine's locale had gotten out. Rumors ran wild. The trouble was that none of the stories of the mine's location matched!
When a black bear crossed their path they turned back
In 1890, Henry Weed and associates opened a prospect on a mineral vein near the Eau Claire Lakes some 17 miles west of Lake Namekagon. They called it the Montrose Mine. Did Weed think that the old Indian had been obtaining his silver there? Some of the best finds of native copper occur nearby with old mining shafts and pits dotting the area.
At least one other person believed the lost mine lay west of Lake Namekagon. We know this from Tony Wise, the Hayward native who developed the Telemark ski hill near Cable, Wisconsin. Wise first heard of the lost silver mine legend when trying to buy the future Telemark property in the late 1940s. The hill's owner at that time, Walter Klish, knew vague stories of supposed silver diggings along the nearby Namekagon River and was convinced his hill contained the mother lode. Wise had to convince Klish that it was a ski hill he was after and not a silver mine before the suspicious old man would sell.
Yet most observers believed that the lost silver mine lay north and east of Lake Namekagon. Two old-timers who this writer met and interviewed back in the 1980s believed they had key details to this enduring mystery.
One was "Hoot" Olson of Mellen, Wisconsin, then in his late eighties. Olson had detailed information about two people who knew the mine's exact location and had visited it after Chief Namekagon's death. He heard the story from his stepfather's dad, Ted Klicks, who in turn obtained it from a logger named Hoeppner. Somehow Hoeppner had gotten a line on another man who was seen bringing silver out of the woods not far from today's Copper Falls State Park.
Hoot Olson of Mellen knew details of the mine's location
"Hoeppner was a hard case," Olson told me. "He had been an Indian fighter out West and had two dark eyes with a stare that bored holes right through
you. He started to follow this other man when he passed through the logging camp. In time he discovered where the man was leaving the Wisconsin Central railroad tracks and was entering the woods. He waited for good tracking snow, and then made his move."
At that point in this detailed account, Hoeppner, who confessed it during a heavy drinking bout with Ted Klicks, became uneasy and vague in the telling. This raises questions: Who was the man that Hoeppner had followed to the mine? What became of him? Was, perhaps, murder involved? Because when Klicks wanted more details about the mine, Hoeppner grew sullen and secretive. He acted confused. All he would say was that he could not find the place anymore, but could remember its setting. "Hoeppner described the place as tight as a 'dog hole' that had been covered up with logs and brush," Olson revealed, "but opened up once you were inside. There was a vein of silver thick enough to cut off pieces with a hatchet. He could prove it too. Hoeppner showed Klicks a piece of silver as big as a man's hand."
One additional detail that Hoeppner remembered was that when he was near the mine he could hear the whistle of the Wisconsin Central locomotive as it came around the big bend near Mellen and Penokee Gap.
According to Olson, Klicks and Hoeppner had searched for the mine for many years without success. Hoeppner always thought he would find it again, but he never did. Hoot Olson, who has tramped the woods once or twice himself in search of the mine in his younger years, has this advice for the potential treasure hunter. "Some people think the silver mine is up along the Brunsweiler River," he said, "but I don't think so. Hoeppner was going east along the railroad tracks when he was trailing that man. Therefore the vein should be near or somewhat north of the Bad River Gap near Copper Falls."
Copper Falls
Maybe. This could be the necessary clue to rediscover the lost mine and set this long-standing mystery to rest once and for all. And there is still plenty of quiet interest in finding the old silver vein. People still attempt to trace Chief Namekagon's route to Ashland. From Bill Johnson, an old farmer who lived near Morgan Falls where Dan Morgan had his gold mine, I heard another version of the lost mine legend when I visited him back in the 1980s.
Johnson's father, who had homesteaded the farm a hundred years earlier, once told Bill a story he held fast to until his dying breath. It seems that on his way to Ashland, Chief Namekagon followed an old trail that crossed the Johnson farm. One day as a storm approached the farmer encountered the old Indian in the woods. "It was late in the afternoon and it started to rain," Johnson told me. "Chief Namekagon came along about then and they took him in and fed him. It was late so dad asked him to stay the night. That was the time people first claimed he had silver. Apparently he didn't have it when he stopped at our place, but the next day when he got down to Mattson's farm near Birch Lake he did have silver. Somewhere along the way he must have picked the silver up."
Mattson! Wasn't that the name of the fellow who found the chief dead near Marengo Station? Just odd coincidence or something more sinister? Bill Johnson, who claimed to know "every hill and hollow" in the area long searched for the place where Namkagon was getting out the silver. He believed the location was in the hills south of his farm. "The silver couldn't have been far off Namekagon's line of travel," Johnson speculated. "I myself have found places in these hills where digging has been done. Some of it was done secretly too."
Then I asked Johnson how he knew the location where he thought Chief Namekagon was digging the silver. He hesitated a moment before telling me and then revealed that he had dreamed it!
Bill Johnson with a mineral speciman found near his farm
"I had this dream the night before," Johnson admitted. "In the dream I was looking up at a certain rock hill. The next day I was out trying to find some cows when I went by some rocks. I stopped. It was the place I had dreamed about! Because of that I scouted around some and that's when I found where someone had been breaking off the rock. I can't prove that's where Chief Namekagon got the silver. Maybe he had more than one place."
Bill Johnson was certain the area near his farm is rich with mineral wealth. In his lifetime in that area locals refer to as Morgan Heights he has seen both amateur prospectors and big mining companies go through. A look at the geological map of the area shows that numerous Precambrian rock bodies straddle the region between Mellen and Lake Namekagon. The area is broken up by a complex system of ancient faults and rifting that may form conduits and passageways for rich mineral-bearing solutions that deposited valuable metallic wealth in the rock.
"The mineral is here," Johnson confided to me. "When old man Skrupky came up from Rice Lake he had an instrument to locate metals with. It was an odd L-shaped deal with a handle on one end and a point that spun around on a bearing on the other end. Skrupky put a small piece of silver into the contraption. I guess that was supposed to attract the pointer to silver in the ground. Anyway, we went up that hill over there and the instrument started to swing back and forth, back and forth, as if it couldn’t make up its mind which way to go. We went up a little farther and the thing started spinning in circles. We went up higher yet and I tried it. 'You have to hold it flat to make it work," Skrupky said, but I told him,'That's what you think. Just watch.' It started swinging back and forth, back and forth. When it got up enough momentum it started swinging around in circles. It spun like crazy. It spun so fast that the little bearing in the handle burned out. There's just got to be something in the rocks here. I know it!"
If upon reading this account you feel an urge to go hunt for this long lost silver mine be prepared for an adventure. A good place to start might be the village park in Grand View just off of State Highway 63. There a historical marker tells one version of the old legend. From there you can strike east in the direction of Morgan Falls or beyond toward the Brunsweiler and Bad rivers. If you prefer another route you can head southwest toward Cable and the Eau Claire Lakes -- other possible locations of the lost mine. Or you might go directly south to Lake Namekagon and visit the island off Missionary Point that was home to Old Ice Feathers. Maybe after a visit there you will dream the silver mine's location. Others have.
Memory of the old Indian chief lingers
Although your chance of finding the lost mine is probably slim one truth stands forth like a nugget of shining silver. As you travel through this region of dark forests and murmuring cascades, of jewel-like lakes and mysterious hills, it might weave its magic around you as it has for so many others. Even if you fail in your search and never find a speck of mineral wealth you might find another treasure greater than anything that can be dug up and possessed. A perfect wealth of unlimited proportions. The treasure that the Indians have known about all along: The quality of enchantment.
Herbert Wagner is a historian and author from Northern Wisconsin.
If you enjoyed reading this story, I'm sure that your Harley-Davidson loving friends will equally enjoy reading my newest book: At the Creation, Myth, Reality, and the Origin of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle. Ordering information for this perfect gift item can be found at:
At the Creation Homepage
THE LOST JOSHUA WARD SILVER MINE
copyright Jerry Bowen, Sept. 1993
The Joshua Ward Cabin where the bodies of Joshua Ward, his wife Abigail and their two little girls were found in 1908, locked inside the cabin 30 years after they were murdered by Indians. The ore wagon full of rich silver ore outside was a tantalizing clue to a lost treasure mine. Photo courtesy of Jerry Bowen.
The day was warm as the unrelenting sun beat down on Joshua Ward. It had been a productive trip to his silver mine. After a few days rest he would sell the rich silver ore and could finally buy that team of horses he needed. Hard work and persistence had paid off and he was feeling the contentment of a job well done. After filling the buckets with water at the spring, he headed back to his cabin and family.
Suddenly, he felt a searing pain in his back. Staggering through the cabin door, he realized the cause of his pain; four arrows were buried deep into his back. Once inside, he quickly barred the door with the last of his remaining strength then slowly sank to the floor, breaking the wooden arrow shafts as he fell mortally wounded. Across the room lie the lifeless bodies of his wife Abigail and two daughters, Sarah and Phoebe.
With the death of this family another lost mine story was born.
The mine was not just a figment of a lonely prospectors imagination. It was and is to this day, a silver vein that assayed at an estimated thousand dollars a ton at 1908 silver prices. The story is supported by verifiable facts and confirmed by Frank A. Crampton (a self taught mining engineer with impeccable credentials).
Frank Crampton was born in 1888, to a prominent New York City family. He grew up with all the social amenities befitting his family's wealth, but Frank had a restless nature and at the age of sixteen, he left home. He learned to "Ride the rods" from his new found friends, John Harrington and John T. Sullivan (Sully). Harrington and Sully educated the young Crampton in the hobo lifestyle and introduced him to hard rock mining. Over the years, Frank Crampton became well versed in the art of mining and built a reputation for honesty and hard work, believing nothing was worth while that wasn't earned the hard way.
During a business trip to Boston in 1908, Frank was approached by Massachusetts politician Herman Hormel and Dr. J. E. Meyers. Hormel's relatives had not been heard from for thirty years and he wanted Crampton to find them. The last known contact with the Joshua Ward was a letter. It was mailed from Cherry Creek, Nevada, on August 12, 1878. Early inquiries of law enforcement agencies and post offices in the area revealed nothing of the family's whereabouts.
Hormel produced several letters written by Abigail Ward, which provided several clues. She described an L-shaped cabin with an adjacent ox barn they had built in the wilderness near Cherry Creek. She further described the location as being in a small, narrow, basin-like valley with cottonwood trees and a spring at one end. Joshua had built a road to the cabin, which came over a ridge past the spring at the upper end of the valley.
Included in the letters was a crude map. The map showed the cabin with an arrow pointing south to Hamilton; an arrow pointing east to Cherry Creek; an arrow pointing north to Humboldt; and an arrow pointing west to Eureka. No distances were noted with the exception of "Eureka, six days".
One letter told of Joshua leaving for two weeks to mine one wagonload of silver ore and his of return home. This led Crampton to believe the mine was somewhere within a ten mile radius of the cabin. It was his theory that if the mine had been closer, Joshua would have returned home each night.
After studying the letters, Crampton decided the cabin was located about eighty miles north of Eureka. He surmised the cabin was closer to Cherry Creek than Eureka, for it was at Cherry Creek that Joshua bought his supplies.
Frank sent a telegram to his brother (Ted) in Date Creek, Arizona, instructing him to buy a reliable vehicle and enough supplies to last for one month. Arriving in Ely, Nevada, eight days later, Frank and Ted immediately set out north for Cherry Creek.
Cherry Creek is a small town about forty-five miles north of Ely. When Ted and Frank arrived in 1908, it was at the tail end of its third mining boom. After talking to the locals and obtaining as much information as they could, they left in search of the cabin.
Nearing mid-afternoon, they came across the very dim outline of an old road following it until they came to a deep wash that cut across the road. As they continued on foot, the road became more visible on the opposite side of the wash. Some twenty miles later they spotted a cabin about a mile off in the distance, but nightfall had descended upon them. They decided to make camp and put off investigating the cabin until morning.
Early the next morning they broke camp and headed toward the cabin, apprehensive of what they might find. Passing a spring they came upon a wagon, its wheels sunk into the soil to the hubs. It was obvious it had been there a very long time. Its cargo of rich silver ore lay on the ground below broken sideboards. Nearby in a small shed they found the bleached bones of two oxen, their skulls crushed by the blow of a heavy object.
As they continued on toward the cabin, they could see broken arrows imbedded in the door of the cabin. Frank tried to force the door open but it would not budge. They broke through the top section and it became apparent why the door would not open¾there were three bars holding it fast. Reaching inside he removed the bars, opened the door and entered the cabin. Once inside, his worst fears were confirmed. Underneath thirty years of hardened dust were the mummified bodies of the Ward family. Joshua was on the floor near the door with the broken arrow shafts still in his back. Abigail's body was across the room on the bed, her skull crushed by a single blow. The daughters, Phoebe and Sarah, were near the bed on the floor having suffered the same fate as their mother. The family had lain unmolested for thirty years. Why the Indians had not forced their way back into the cabin remains a mystery.
Snow had begun to fall; Frank and Ted had to complete their business quickly and return to town. They searched the cabin for papers and personal items they could send to Hormel. During the search they loosened a stone in the fireplace and behind it they found $5000 in gold coins. Joshua's mine had been paying well. They repaired the door and carefully closed up the cabin before they headed back to Cherry Creek. Winter was quickly closing in and they would not be able to return until spring.
After a difficult trip back to Cherry Creek, Frank sent a message to Hormel advising him of their find. Frank and Ted settled in for the winter and on Hormel's arrival in the spring, they headed back for the cabin. The bodies and personal effects were removed and the bodies were sent back east for burial. Frank searched for the mine over the next few years but to no avail. I suspect others made many searches over the years, but I have not found any evidence to indicate Joshua Ward's rich silver mine was ever located.
Ref: Deep enough; Frank Crampton
United States Treasure Atlas, Vol-6, Terry
Mining Districts and Mineral Resources of Nevada, Lincoln
Nevada Map Atlas, Nevada Dept. of Transportation
Nevada Ghost Towns and Mining Camps, Paher
The Joshua Ward Cabin where the bodies of Joshua Ward, his wife Abigail and their two little girls were found in 1908, locked inside the cabin 30 years after they were murdered by Indians. The ore wagon full of rich silver ore outside was a tantalizing clue to a lost treasure mine. Photo courtesy of Jerry Bowen.
The day was warm as the unrelenting sun beat down on Joshua Ward. It had been a productive trip to his silver mine. After a few days rest he would sell the rich silver ore and could finally buy that team of horses he needed. Hard work and persistence had paid off and he was feeling the contentment of a job well done. After filling the buckets with water at the spring, he headed back to his cabin and family.
Suddenly, he felt a searing pain in his back. Staggering through the cabin door, he realized the cause of his pain; four arrows were buried deep into his back. Once inside, he quickly barred the door with the last of his remaining strength then slowly sank to the floor, breaking the wooden arrow shafts as he fell mortally wounded. Across the room lie the lifeless bodies of his wife Abigail and two daughters, Sarah and Phoebe.
With the death of this family another lost mine story was born.
The mine was not just a figment of a lonely prospectors imagination. It was and is to this day, a silver vein that assayed at an estimated thousand dollars a ton at 1908 silver prices. The story is supported by verifiable facts and confirmed by Frank A. Crampton (a self taught mining engineer with impeccable credentials).
Frank Crampton was born in 1888, to a prominent New York City family. He grew up with all the social amenities befitting his family's wealth, but Frank had a restless nature and at the age of sixteen, he left home. He learned to "Ride the rods" from his new found friends, John Harrington and John T. Sullivan (Sully). Harrington and Sully educated the young Crampton in the hobo lifestyle and introduced him to hard rock mining. Over the years, Frank Crampton became well versed in the art of mining and built a reputation for honesty and hard work, believing nothing was worth while that wasn't earned the hard way.
During a business trip to Boston in 1908, Frank was approached by Massachusetts politician Herman Hormel and Dr. J. E. Meyers. Hormel's relatives had not been heard from for thirty years and he wanted Crampton to find them. The last known contact with the Joshua Ward was a letter. It was mailed from Cherry Creek, Nevada, on August 12, 1878. Early inquiries of law enforcement agencies and post offices in the area revealed nothing of the family's whereabouts.
Hormel produced several letters written by Abigail Ward, which provided several clues. She described an L-shaped cabin with an adjacent ox barn they had built in the wilderness near Cherry Creek. She further described the location as being in a small, narrow, basin-like valley with cottonwood trees and a spring at one end. Joshua had built a road to the cabin, which came over a ridge past the spring at the upper end of the valley.
Included in the letters was a crude map. The map showed the cabin with an arrow pointing south to Hamilton; an arrow pointing east to Cherry Creek; an arrow pointing north to Humboldt; and an arrow pointing west to Eureka. No distances were noted with the exception of "Eureka, six days".
One letter told of Joshua leaving for two weeks to mine one wagonload of silver ore and his of return home. This led Crampton to believe the mine was somewhere within a ten mile radius of the cabin. It was his theory that if the mine had been closer, Joshua would have returned home each night.
After studying the letters, Crampton decided the cabin was located about eighty miles north of Eureka. He surmised the cabin was closer to Cherry Creek than Eureka, for it was at Cherry Creek that Joshua bought his supplies.
Frank sent a telegram to his brother (Ted) in Date Creek, Arizona, instructing him to buy a reliable vehicle and enough supplies to last for one month. Arriving in Ely, Nevada, eight days later, Frank and Ted immediately set out north for Cherry Creek.
Cherry Creek is a small town about forty-five miles north of Ely. When Ted and Frank arrived in 1908, it was at the tail end of its third mining boom. After talking to the locals and obtaining as much information as they could, they left in search of the cabin.
Nearing mid-afternoon, they came across the very dim outline of an old road following it until they came to a deep wash that cut across the road. As they continued on foot, the road became more visible on the opposite side of the wash. Some twenty miles later they spotted a cabin about a mile off in the distance, but nightfall had descended upon them. They decided to make camp and put off investigating the cabin until morning.
Early the next morning they broke camp and headed toward the cabin, apprehensive of what they might find. Passing a spring they came upon a wagon, its wheels sunk into the soil to the hubs. It was obvious it had been there a very long time. Its cargo of rich silver ore lay on the ground below broken sideboards. Nearby in a small shed they found the bleached bones of two oxen, their skulls crushed by the blow of a heavy object.
As they continued on toward the cabin, they could see broken arrows imbedded in the door of the cabin. Frank tried to force the door open but it would not budge. They broke through the top section and it became apparent why the door would not open¾there were three bars holding it fast. Reaching inside he removed the bars, opened the door and entered the cabin. Once inside, his worst fears were confirmed. Underneath thirty years of hardened dust were the mummified bodies of the Ward family. Joshua was on the floor near the door with the broken arrow shafts still in his back. Abigail's body was across the room on the bed, her skull crushed by a single blow. The daughters, Phoebe and Sarah, were near the bed on the floor having suffered the same fate as their mother. The family had lain unmolested for thirty years. Why the Indians had not forced their way back into the cabin remains a mystery.
Snow had begun to fall; Frank and Ted had to complete their business quickly and return to town. They searched the cabin for papers and personal items they could send to Hormel. During the search they loosened a stone in the fireplace and behind it they found $5000 in gold coins. Joshua's mine had been paying well. They repaired the door and carefully closed up the cabin before they headed back to Cherry Creek. Winter was quickly closing in and they would not be able to return until spring.
After a difficult trip back to Cherry Creek, Frank sent a message to Hormel advising him of their find. Frank and Ted settled in for the winter and on Hormel's arrival in the spring, they headed back for the cabin. The bodies and personal effects were removed and the bodies were sent back east for burial. Frank searched for the mine over the next few years but to no avail. I suspect others made many searches over the years, but I have not found any evidence to indicate Joshua Ward's rich silver mine was ever located.
Ref: Deep enough; Frank Crampton
United States Treasure Atlas, Vol-6, Terry
Mining Districts and Mineral Resources of Nevada, Lincoln
Nevada Map Atlas, Nevada Dept. of Transportation
Nevada Ghost Towns and Mining Camps, Paher
BOOTMEN'S TUTORIAL
Some basics for bootmen
Civil War Cavalry Boots
Standard cavalry issue during the American Civil War was the Wellington Boot. In 1815 Arthur Wellsley, First Duke of Wellington, defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. The popular victor became a national icon and both men and women emulated his style of footwear. The modern Wellington had a low cut heel and the shaft was calf high (about 12" to 14") and not thigh high. This made them easier to mass produce. These boots became known as "cavalry boots" and were often made of hard, black leather called kip. Bootmakers based their designs on Northern European riding boots. The most popular was the Coffeyville Boot from Coffeyville, Kansas. It combined the various US Cavalry styles and the original British leather Wellington boot.
After much experimentation by the Quartermaster Corps during and after the Civil War, an oak-tanned Spanish leather which was heavily waxed on the flesh side became the standard. And it was from this waxed calf that most of the early cowboy boots were constructed, as well.
POOR QUALITY CAVALRY BOOTS INTRODUCE ENGLISH WORDS AND PHRASES
Unfortunately during the American Civil War (1861-1865) unscrupulous contractors supplied below par footwear and many of the cavalry boots were mass produced using reinforced cardboard. Climatic conditions took their toll and the soldiers suffered deep cuts to their feet. The English language was enriched with the word shoddy which described manufacturers willing to compromise quality for profit. Many experts believe the final victory was in no small part due to the superior footwear of the Union army.
About 1865, the US Government issued new boots to soldiers. The boots had brass tacks to hold the leather soles of the boots on. As the soles were worn down, the tacks would protrude through the bottom into the soldiers feet. The government put together a committee to study the problem and suggested a solution. Their solution was to issue each soldier a metal file to file down the points of the tacks as they pushed through the boot sole. (Some things never change, do they?) The term "brass tacks" could mean to get to the absolute bottom of things (in original reference to soldier's boots).
By the end of the Civil War, the federal government had half a million pairs of boots surplus to requirements. Systematically thereafter troops stationed on the frontier were supplied with shoddy boots. Shoe historians believe the foundation of the cowboy boot trade in the frontier was based on the simple necessity for civilian bootmakers to replace defective military footwear.
OFFICER'S BOOTS
Boots worn by Civil War officers were provided by private sutlers (a trader who sold drink and provisions to the troops). Officer's boots were not standard government issue. These Boots as shown here were usually from 15" to 19" high, and had a knee flap on the top front of the boot, which provided protection to an officer's legs and knees while riding a horse, mounting, or dismounting. On some officer's boots, there was an extrusion of leather on each side of the knee flap which could be tied around the leg to hold the boot up and in place.
NO LEFT OR RIGHT BOOT
During the American Civil War, boots were made upon straight lasts, meaning that each boot was the same and there was no "right" or "left" boot. What may look like a right or left boot in the picture here actually are straight-last boots that comformed to the curvature of the foot when they were broken in. Right and left boots were introduced after the Civil War but were not popular. It took another 50 years before the masses accepted boots made for right and left feet.
Civil War Cavalry Boots
Standard cavalry issue during the American Civil War was the Wellington Boot. In 1815 Arthur Wellsley, First Duke of Wellington, defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. The popular victor became a national icon and both men and women emulated his style of footwear. The modern Wellington had a low cut heel and the shaft was calf high (about 12" to 14") and not thigh high. This made them easier to mass produce. These boots became known as "cavalry boots" and were often made of hard, black leather called kip. Bootmakers based their designs on Northern European riding boots. The most popular was the Coffeyville Boot from Coffeyville, Kansas. It combined the various US Cavalry styles and the original British leather Wellington boot.
After much experimentation by the Quartermaster Corps during and after the Civil War, an oak-tanned Spanish leather which was heavily waxed on the flesh side became the standard. And it was from this waxed calf that most of the early cowboy boots were constructed, as well.
POOR QUALITY CAVALRY BOOTS INTRODUCE ENGLISH WORDS AND PHRASES
Unfortunately during the American Civil War (1861-1865) unscrupulous contractors supplied below par footwear and many of the cavalry boots were mass produced using reinforced cardboard. Climatic conditions took their toll and the soldiers suffered deep cuts to their feet. The English language was enriched with the word shoddy which described manufacturers willing to compromise quality for profit. Many experts believe the final victory was in no small part due to the superior footwear of the Union army.
About 1865, the US Government issued new boots to soldiers. The boots had brass tacks to hold the leather soles of the boots on. As the soles were worn down, the tacks would protrude through the bottom into the soldiers feet. The government put together a committee to study the problem and suggested a solution. Their solution was to issue each soldier a metal file to file down the points of the tacks as they pushed through the boot sole. (Some things never change, do they?) The term "brass tacks" could mean to get to the absolute bottom of things (in original reference to soldier's boots).
By the end of the Civil War, the federal government had half a million pairs of boots surplus to requirements. Systematically thereafter troops stationed on the frontier were supplied with shoddy boots. Shoe historians believe the foundation of the cowboy boot trade in the frontier was based on the simple necessity for civilian bootmakers to replace defective military footwear.
OFFICER'S BOOTS
Boots worn by Civil War officers were provided by private sutlers (a trader who sold drink and provisions to the troops). Officer's boots were not standard government issue. These Boots as shown here were usually from 15" to 19" high, and had a knee flap on the top front of the boot, which provided protection to an officer's legs and knees while riding a horse, mounting, or dismounting. On some officer's boots, there was an extrusion of leather on each side of the knee flap which could be tied around the leg to hold the boot up and in place.
NO LEFT OR RIGHT BOOT
During the American Civil War, boots were made upon straight lasts, meaning that each boot was the same and there was no "right" or "left" boot. What may look like a right or left boot in the picture here actually are straight-last boots that comformed to the curvature of the foot when they were broken in. Right and left boots were introduced after the Civil War but were not popular. It took another 50 years before the masses accepted boots made for right and left feet.
How to flirt with strangers
Have you ever tried to flirt with a stranger?
To some, being able to strike up intriguing conversations with complete strangers comes naturally. Whether it be the cute guy who serves you your morning coffee or the sexy cocktail waitress who you're desperate to get her number (think George Clooney and his current squeeze Sarah Larson), some folks are born with that innate flirtatious quality that emanates from their every pore, giving them the ability to flirt, flirt, flirt with anything that has two legs and a heartbeat.
The key, of course, is knowing how to lean towards flirtatious rather than forceful. But oh, the pressure! We immediately want to feel the chemistry, the pizzazz and the za-za-zoo ricocheting back and forth and a conversation that flows as freely as the wine we're sculling back. And then there's another small problem: how do we go from "Can I get two sugars with my latte?" to a seductive whisper of: "So... what underwear do you have on?"
I admit it's no easy feat. An attempt to be sultry and smooth can quickly turn into the cry of a bumbling idiot without getting across anything witty, wise or memorable if you don't know how to do it right.
Yet no matter how undeniably daunting flirting with strangers might be, apparently we shouldn't shy away from it just yet. Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia says it can actually be good for our health. She says interaction with strangers could make us happier than money or status because, when we meet new people, we put our best selves forward, which does wonders to boost our mood ...
The results of a Yahoo! Personals study for World Heart Day add fuel to the must-flirt arsenal, with nearly 50 per cent of respondents saying they felt "young, fabulous and sexy" while flirting. A further 36.8 per cent admitted flirting gives them "a natural high" and makes them feel as though they get away with anything.
No wonder my mate Jane - a single, 35-year-old super flirt - is so happy all the time. Her ability to flirt with anyone - men, women, kids, pets, it doesn't really matter - never ceases to amaze me. And the rewards are plentiful: hot date offers, business proposals, freebies, discounts, meals, food, service, upgrades (she often flies first class thanks to her charms), the list goes on.
It's as though she's adopted best-selling author Joyce Jillson's infamous motto which says; "There are only a few times when you don't flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand."
Yet, for the rest of us, flirting doesn't come that easy, especially for reader Pip who says that after being burnt badly by her ex, she's having trouble getting back into the game. "Lately when I'm introduced to men I could potentially date I freeze up," she writes. "I don't know what to say or how to act. So instead of being flirtatious, I come across like a complete bimbo. And I'm brunette!"
Aussie dating expert Alex Nova, author of the e-book Attract Women Naturally, says all Pip needs is a little confidence.
"Flirting has a lot to do with a person's attitude," he explains. "Don't be afraid to take risks and don't worry about being rejected. Smile at people, specially at the ones you flirt with. It will make you so much more approachable. Friendly people with a smile draw others into the conversation. Maintain a prolonged eye contact, however don't intimidate your potential flirt by staring them into oblivion."
The question many often wonder, however, is whether or not the person they're trying to flirt with is indeed flirting back. Are they into us? Or are they just still standing there to be polite?
"The most obvious way to tell if someone is interested is when the person is making eye contact," says Alex. "The more direct clues are when they are trying to touch you, smell you and do anything else in hopes of attracting your attention. Keep en eye out for playful teasing as this is also another sure way of flirting with someone."
And if there's one thing you take from this column, let it be the advice from the mastermind in telling it like it is, Greg Behrendt author of He's Not That Into You:
"There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree."
What's your flirting tips? How do you flirt with strangers? Has it worked?
- Samantha Brett
- Watch ASK SAM TV HERE: Sex Etiquette! When it comes to the dos and don'ts in relationships many of us are totally confused. Samantha Brett demystifies sex etiquette.
- More SMH blogs
Posted by Samantha Brett
September 27, 2007 12:00 AM
To some, being able to strike up intriguing conversations with complete strangers comes naturally. Whether it be the cute guy who serves you your morning coffee or the sexy cocktail waitress who you're desperate to get her number (think George Clooney and his current squeeze Sarah Larson), some folks are born with that innate flirtatious quality that emanates from their every pore, giving them the ability to flirt, flirt, flirt with anything that has two legs and a heartbeat.
The key, of course, is knowing how to lean towards flirtatious rather than forceful. But oh, the pressure! We immediately want to feel the chemistry, the pizzazz and the za-za-zoo ricocheting back and forth and a conversation that flows as freely as the wine we're sculling back. And then there's another small problem: how do we go from "Can I get two sugars with my latte?" to a seductive whisper of: "So... what underwear do you have on?"
I admit it's no easy feat. An attempt to be sultry and smooth can quickly turn into the cry of a bumbling idiot without getting across anything witty, wise or memorable if you don't know how to do it right.
Yet no matter how undeniably daunting flirting with strangers might be, apparently we shouldn't shy away from it just yet. Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia says it can actually be good for our health. She says interaction with strangers could make us happier than money or status because, when we meet new people, we put our best selves forward, which does wonders to boost our mood ...
The results of a Yahoo! Personals study for World Heart Day add fuel to the must-flirt arsenal, with nearly 50 per cent of respondents saying they felt "young, fabulous and sexy" while flirting. A further 36.8 per cent admitted flirting gives them "a natural high" and makes them feel as though they get away with anything.
No wonder my mate Jane - a single, 35-year-old super flirt - is so happy all the time. Her ability to flirt with anyone - men, women, kids, pets, it doesn't really matter - never ceases to amaze me. And the rewards are plentiful: hot date offers, business proposals, freebies, discounts, meals, food, service, upgrades (she often flies first class thanks to her charms), the list goes on.
It's as though she's adopted best-selling author Joyce Jillson's infamous motto which says; "There are only a few times when you don't flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand."
Yet, for the rest of us, flirting doesn't come that easy, especially for reader Pip who says that after being burnt badly by her ex, she's having trouble getting back into the game. "Lately when I'm introduced to men I could potentially date I freeze up," she writes. "I don't know what to say or how to act. So instead of being flirtatious, I come across like a complete bimbo. And I'm brunette!"
Aussie dating expert Alex Nova, author of the e-book Attract Women Naturally, says all Pip needs is a little confidence.
"Flirting has a lot to do with a person's attitude," he explains. "Don't be afraid to take risks and don't worry about being rejected. Smile at people, specially at the ones you flirt with. It will make you so much more approachable. Friendly people with a smile draw others into the conversation. Maintain a prolonged eye contact, however don't intimidate your potential flirt by staring them into oblivion."
The question many often wonder, however, is whether or not the person they're trying to flirt with is indeed flirting back. Are they into us? Or are they just still standing there to be polite?
"The most obvious way to tell if someone is interested is when the person is making eye contact," says Alex. "The more direct clues are when they are trying to touch you, smell you and do anything else in hopes of attracting your attention. Keep en eye out for playful teasing as this is also another sure way of flirting with someone."
And if there's one thing you take from this column, let it be the advice from the mastermind in telling it like it is, Greg Behrendt author of He's Not That Into You:
"There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree."
What's your flirting tips? How do you flirt with strangers? Has it worked?
- Samantha Brett
- Watch ASK SAM TV HERE: Sex Etiquette! When it comes to the dos and don'ts in relationships many of us are totally confused. Samantha Brett demystifies sex etiquette.
- More SMH blogs
Posted by Samantha Brett
September 27, 2007 12:00 AM
Six different styles of "lovers"
Although these descriptions are to attempt to sell you (or tempt you to buy, whichever phrase you prefer) a cd on how to attract women, they could be useful for character generation. -- A.D.
1. Overcome Your Hesitation and Fear Around Women - Become the "Natural"
The problem is, we don’t have the right people to model and copy – guys who are just naturals with women.
We’ve all known that guy from school or work who just seemed to attract women effortlessly, without lines or routines or seduction formulas. This guy was just, well, a Natural with women and we envied his seemingly magic talent
I have good news for you- becoming a true Natural (and not just pretending to be one) is not a secret magical talent at all.
Being a true Natural with women is all about letting go and letting loose. Whereas most guys have had their fresh, carefree, childlike spirit beaten out of them, the Natural is, above all else, playful, with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye.
Whereas most guys have learned through school and work to act carefully and deliberately, trying to always please, thinking of how they look in other’s eyes, Naturals are blissfully uncaring, lighthearted, and don’t take anything too seriously.
In this way, Naturals are like children, infecting everyone around them with their youthful impulsiveness and spontaneity. Their playfulness translates into a fearlessness and brazenness with women that most other men have lost. And this relaxed playfulness has an intoxicating effect on women, promising them the chance to come out of their own shells of boring conformity.
This revolutionary trance CD, The Natural, the brainchild of Derek Vitalio and spoken by renowned hypnotist Damian Transari, places you into the mental state and attitude of the true Natural inside of you.
We grow rigid and serious because we don’t have the right people to model. True naturals with women are far and few between and hard to come by. This CD however will allow you to deep trance identify with the archetype of the natural seducer.
The Natural will bring out the natural seducer in you, making you playful and uninhibited and effortless, throwing off the heavy chains of seriousness, snapping apart the bonds of social pressure holding you back.
2. The Rake– Sexually Dangerous, Thrilling, a Devilish Talker, Passionate, Adventurous, Devoted to Pleasure, and a Heartbreaker – The Bad Boy that Mothers Want Their Daughters to Avoid at All Costs… But That Only Adds to His Appeal.
Women are deeply oppressed by the role they are expected to play. Women are supposed to be the moralizers of society and expected to suppress their natural sexual urges and fantasies.
What the Rake offers is what society does not allow to women- an affair of pure pleasure, an exciting brush with danger. The Rake offers to touch and draw out that repressed sexual desire within women that cries out for liberation. The Rake knows that the forbidden and taboo are highly attractive to women.
The Rake, in his pursuit of pleasure, has the ability to let himself go, to abandon himself to the moment, to draw a woman into the kind of purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning.
The Rake is delightfully unrestrained, incredibly bold in the face of his own fears, and women admire him for his audacity (forgiving him for the fact that he is always on the prowl for the next woman). The Rake shows no hesitation in his actions by abandoning all restraint, by letting himself go.
And the Rake lives for challenges. Whereas most men give up on the first sign of resistance, the Rake never worries about a woman’s resistance to him. The Rake knows that more “prudish” the woman, the more she will be tempted by a man with a dangerous or naughty side.
After all, it is often the most “virtuous” of women who fall mostly deeply head over heels for the Rake. So resistance only further fans the fire of his determination.
The Rake shows this level of extraordinary confidence because he is at heart a rebel. The Rake casts off convention for sexual adventure and cares little for what society thinks.
In fact, the Rake’s greatest asset is his reputation as an incorrigible and notorious lover of all women. The Rake never apologizes for his love-her-and-leave-her ways, but instead he embraces it. He may be disloyal, dishonest, and sexually “amoral”, but that only adds to his appeal with the ladies. Paradoxically, it his very reputation that makes women compete for his attention.
The Rake too is a master of seductive language, stirring a woman’s repressed longings and need for adventure with sexual suggestion. The Rake chooses his words not to convey information, but to suggest, hypnotize, and infect the woman with emotional turmoil, and lead her into the ultimate temptation.
The Rake too promises passion in the bedroom. When he pursues a woman, he literally glows with desire, burns with passion, is unable to control himself, and makes women feel that he exists for them alone.
Now, you cannot become the bad boy Rake by being fearful and careful and following convention. You cannot become the Rake by being sexually timid or flinching at a woman’s resistance. The bad boy is the man who breaks women out of their passivity and routines and into a world of adventure and fantasy.
After all, women deep down want to rebel, to have a chance to become sexually irrational and uncivilized, to have a chance to explore dangerous sexual pleasures and the taboo.
The Rake CD bypasses the normal learning process of becoming the bad boy. The Rake CD installs the habits and traits of the Rake directly into your subconscious mind so that there’s no studying and no memorizing- just pure absorption and learning.
3. The Star – Dressed, Stylish, Center of Attention, Dreamlike, Coolly Detached From the Outcome – The Man Whom Everyone Wants to Bathe in His Presence
Most women constantly seek to escape from their boring lives into fantasy, adventure, and dreams. Stars feed on this need, standing out from other men through a distinctive, appealing, attention getting style, ranging from his clothes, voice, and gestures.
The Star has a style that makes him stand out from everyone else. He is a master of peacocking himself and he has a way of commanding attention. At a party, all eyes turn toward him when he enters a room. Women wonder what's going on beneath the surface of his eyes, his face. Vague in nature, his words, his actions, his very presence evokes interpretation and keeps women constantly intrigued.
The Star’s power comes from the social proof he wields and he is often accompanied by an entourage. His power comes from others seeing him as a kind of object of power, one that can open doors to a variety of fantasies and adventure. People don't even realize how much they try to imitate them.
The Star too is somewhat mysterious. Stars have qualities such as playfulness and intense sexuality, but at the same time they can seem aloof, vague, and dreamlike (not to be confused with distance or coldness). They have a cool detachment from achieving an outcome and a cool detachment from themselves and they have no qualms about changing their identity or their image to suit the moment.
The attraction of the Star is nonverbal, conveyed not in his words, but rather in his social proof, his body language, his style, and his attitude. Rather than logical expressions, the feelings evoked by his words touches a woman not on a logical, but on an emotional level.
Now you can install the traits and qualities of the Star archetype into your own life to accelerate your game and break through the barriers with beautiful women. The Star will bring out the celebrity in you, the one that has always been there but just needs the encouragement to come out, show up, and stand in the limelight.
4. A Few Men Have an Uncanny Success with Women, and One Type is The Charismatic.
The Charismatic man is particularly successful in groups of people. It’s his smoothness with language that makes him stand out - when he speaks, he uses storytelling, vivid imagery, and delightful spontaneity to move the group to laughter, excitement, and mass euphoria.
The Charismatic knows how to use his body language to command attention, using sweeping physical gestures, animated expressions, and piercing eye contact.
When he speaks, he puts his audience into a sort of hypnotic trance, and no one can take their eyes off of him.
As a result, people feel alive and energized around him, like a kind of electric current passes between him and the group, feeding off one another. Men want to follow him and women want a chance to be with him.
The Charismatic is no entertaining clown however. He makes girls compete and work for his reward and approval, and does not reveal all of himself at once.
And whereas most men hesitate before taking bold action, The Charismatic acts with single-minded self-assurance. He expresses what others are afraid to express. He says what others want to say, but don’t. He does not apologize for who he is or go halfway- and he is never afraid of going too far. It’s this unbridled openness that’s part of his magnetic attraction to women.
You see, most girls are in fact, incredibly bored with their lives. They attempt to suppress their inward sexuality and inner feelings because it is socially unacceptable. Yet women crave openness, adventure, and wild passion.
It’s the Charismatic’s unshakable confidence, sense of adventure, and open acts of social risk that hits women like a thunderclap. He delivers the intense, emotional fix and escape from reality that they’re looking for.
We too can build the archetypal behaviors and mindset of the Charismatic into our own selves by ridding the self-consciousness and discomfort most of us feel in groups. We too can build the skills of commanding body language, spontaneous fun, and group tactics for ourselves.
Think about how important social group skills are- after all, truly beautiful women, particularly in parties, bars, clubs, weddings, and other social events, are rarely found all by themselves. Truly beautiful women are found in groups, accompanied by a network of friends and wannabe suitors.
The Charismatic CD is specifically designed to put your mind into the state of the charismatic archetype and directly install new thoughts and patterns of behavior into you mind while you’re in an altered state of suggestible trance.
5. To Charm Means to Cast a Magical Spell. The Charmer Disarms Women by Understanding Their Inner Spirit, Feels Their Pain, and Adapts Himself to Their Needs and Desires.
The Charmer listens and observes, letting the woman talk, mirroring her until she feels comfortable. His interest is so focused that women relax and open up to him.
The Charmer casts his spell by aiming at her vanity, her ego. Women are in love with and hypnotized by their own image. After all, a woman’s favorite subject is herself. So the Charmer shares her values and tastes and adapts to her every mood, indulging in her vanity and giving her only what she wants to see about herself.
But lurking beneath the surface of any attempt to charm must be sexual tension. The Charmer does NOT give off those nice guy “friend” vibes. No, the Charmer is sexually flirtatious, teasing women with push pull innuendoes and suggestions that are both exciting and addictive.
The Charmer too is always a source of pleasure. Underneath, the Charmer may be clever and calculating, but on the surface he is all fantasy and pleasure. He distracts women from their problems by giving them good feelings. For once a woman feels pleasure it is far easier to bend her to one's will. And it is by making women dependent on him for their pleasure and good feelings that the Charmer reaps his power.
Even when a woman senses the Charmer’s cleverness, she is not immune to his spell. The emotions he provides are so powerful that even if she senses the affair cannot last, she loses all power to resist.
Part of the Charmer’s formula is to never whine nor complain. They are always lighthearted and fun rather than serious or critical. The Charmer never criticizes, begs, or cajoles but rather covertly plants ideas and insinuates suggestions. He never shows anger or impatience, emotions that make women defensive and break the fantasy.
Even in the face of a challenge or a setback, the Charmer keeps his cool to keep women relaxed and at ease. Yes, at all times Charmers are pleasant to be around.
And he doesn’t just limit himself to beautiful women; he befriends and charms as many people as possible. He uses his social skills to create new friends and a wide network of people to work within existing social groups. His objective is to make other people feel powerful and respected, to feel like a star themselves. No one feels ignored by the Charmer and he makes even the least important people feel like kings.
This revolutionary trance CD, The Charmer, brings out the true Charmer of women inside of you. The Charmer will bring out the sexually flirtatious, pleasurable guy who can cast an intoxicating spell on women.
6. The Lover is Like a Portrait Painter. Under His Spell, All of The Woman’s Physical Imperfections Disappear. He Brings Out the Noble Qualities in Women, Frames Them in Myth, and Immortalizes Them.
Who says that Chivalry is dead? The Lover is the man who opens doors for women, puts his shirt down in the mud for her to cross, and takes her hand to cross the street.
The Lover shows absolute devotion to women and puts their interests before his own. He pays scrupulous attention to details to make the fantasy and sex seem lofty and poetic.
The Lover is no pushover though- he should not be confused with the “nice guy”. The Lover adores women, he loves everything about them, but he knows when to walk away from a woman rather than reward her for bad behavior.
Think of the Lover as a knight of adventure and romance, returning women to their dreams and fantasies that have been shattered and broken with age. The Lover thrives on women’s broken hearts, touching her deepest desires and yearnings, and leading her to believe in an ideal love again.
The Lover suggests something more for women to aspire to, gives them a new image to live up to, a new faith in their untapped potential, an idealization of their character. It’s his ability to bring out a starry-eyed vision of noble love that makes women fall in love.
In a world full of surface and loose connections, but lacking in deeper intimacy, Lovers thrive because they seem genuine, open, making a “magical connection” with women that seems to only happen in storybooks and fairytales.
Yet, the Lover strategically flips between the spiritual and poetic and the ravishing and carnal pleasures. It’s the mix of heaven and the hints of forbidden pleasure that make women swoon to his arms. And though the Lover makes sex seem noble and intimacy spiritual, he is playing with power, and merely disguises his strategy behind the image of an idyllic sex.
1. Overcome Your Hesitation and Fear Around Women - Become the "Natural"
The problem is, we don’t have the right people to model and copy – guys who are just naturals with women.
We’ve all known that guy from school or work who just seemed to attract women effortlessly, without lines or routines or seduction formulas. This guy was just, well, a Natural with women and we envied his seemingly magic talent
I have good news for you- becoming a true Natural (and not just pretending to be one) is not a secret magical talent at all.
Being a true Natural with women is all about letting go and letting loose. Whereas most guys have had their fresh, carefree, childlike spirit beaten out of them, the Natural is, above all else, playful, with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye.
Whereas most guys have learned through school and work to act carefully and deliberately, trying to always please, thinking of how they look in other’s eyes, Naturals are blissfully uncaring, lighthearted, and don’t take anything too seriously.
In this way, Naturals are like children, infecting everyone around them with their youthful impulsiveness and spontaneity. Their playfulness translates into a fearlessness and brazenness with women that most other men have lost. And this relaxed playfulness has an intoxicating effect on women, promising them the chance to come out of their own shells of boring conformity.
This revolutionary trance CD, The Natural, the brainchild of Derek Vitalio and spoken by renowned hypnotist Damian Transari, places you into the mental state and attitude of the true Natural inside of you.
We grow rigid and serious because we don’t have the right people to model. True naturals with women are far and few between and hard to come by. This CD however will allow you to deep trance identify with the archetype of the natural seducer.
The Natural will bring out the natural seducer in you, making you playful and uninhibited and effortless, throwing off the heavy chains of seriousness, snapping apart the bonds of social pressure holding you back.
2. The Rake– Sexually Dangerous, Thrilling, a Devilish Talker, Passionate, Adventurous, Devoted to Pleasure, and a Heartbreaker – The Bad Boy that Mothers Want Their Daughters to Avoid at All Costs… But That Only Adds to His Appeal.
Women are deeply oppressed by the role they are expected to play. Women are supposed to be the moralizers of society and expected to suppress their natural sexual urges and fantasies.
What the Rake offers is what society does not allow to women- an affair of pure pleasure, an exciting brush with danger. The Rake offers to touch and draw out that repressed sexual desire within women that cries out for liberation. The Rake knows that the forbidden and taboo are highly attractive to women.
The Rake, in his pursuit of pleasure, has the ability to let himself go, to abandon himself to the moment, to draw a woman into the kind of purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning.
The Rake is delightfully unrestrained, incredibly bold in the face of his own fears, and women admire him for his audacity (forgiving him for the fact that he is always on the prowl for the next woman). The Rake shows no hesitation in his actions by abandoning all restraint, by letting himself go.
And the Rake lives for challenges. Whereas most men give up on the first sign of resistance, the Rake never worries about a woman’s resistance to him. The Rake knows that more “prudish” the woman, the more she will be tempted by a man with a dangerous or naughty side.
After all, it is often the most “virtuous” of women who fall mostly deeply head over heels for the Rake. So resistance only further fans the fire of his determination.
The Rake shows this level of extraordinary confidence because he is at heart a rebel. The Rake casts off convention for sexual adventure and cares little for what society thinks.
In fact, the Rake’s greatest asset is his reputation as an incorrigible and notorious lover of all women. The Rake never apologizes for his love-her-and-leave-her ways, but instead he embraces it. He may be disloyal, dishonest, and sexually “amoral”, but that only adds to his appeal with the ladies. Paradoxically, it his very reputation that makes women compete for his attention.
The Rake too is a master of seductive language, stirring a woman’s repressed longings and need for adventure with sexual suggestion. The Rake chooses his words not to convey information, but to suggest, hypnotize, and infect the woman with emotional turmoil, and lead her into the ultimate temptation.
The Rake too promises passion in the bedroom. When he pursues a woman, he literally glows with desire, burns with passion, is unable to control himself, and makes women feel that he exists for them alone.
Now, you cannot become the bad boy Rake by being fearful and careful and following convention. You cannot become the Rake by being sexually timid or flinching at a woman’s resistance. The bad boy is the man who breaks women out of their passivity and routines and into a world of adventure and fantasy.
After all, women deep down want to rebel, to have a chance to become sexually irrational and uncivilized, to have a chance to explore dangerous sexual pleasures and the taboo.
The Rake CD bypasses the normal learning process of becoming the bad boy. The Rake CD installs the habits and traits of the Rake directly into your subconscious mind so that there’s no studying and no memorizing- just pure absorption and learning.
3. The Star – Dressed, Stylish, Center of Attention, Dreamlike, Coolly Detached From the Outcome – The Man Whom Everyone Wants to Bathe in His Presence
Most women constantly seek to escape from their boring lives into fantasy, adventure, and dreams. Stars feed on this need, standing out from other men through a distinctive, appealing, attention getting style, ranging from his clothes, voice, and gestures.
The Star has a style that makes him stand out from everyone else. He is a master of peacocking himself and he has a way of commanding attention. At a party, all eyes turn toward him when he enters a room. Women wonder what's going on beneath the surface of his eyes, his face. Vague in nature, his words, his actions, his very presence evokes interpretation and keeps women constantly intrigued.
The Star’s power comes from the social proof he wields and he is often accompanied by an entourage. His power comes from others seeing him as a kind of object of power, one that can open doors to a variety of fantasies and adventure. People don't even realize how much they try to imitate them.
The Star too is somewhat mysterious. Stars have qualities such as playfulness and intense sexuality, but at the same time they can seem aloof, vague, and dreamlike (not to be confused with distance or coldness). They have a cool detachment from achieving an outcome and a cool detachment from themselves and they have no qualms about changing their identity or their image to suit the moment.
The attraction of the Star is nonverbal, conveyed not in his words, but rather in his social proof, his body language, his style, and his attitude. Rather than logical expressions, the feelings evoked by his words touches a woman not on a logical, but on an emotional level.
Now you can install the traits and qualities of the Star archetype into your own life to accelerate your game and break through the barriers with beautiful women. The Star will bring out the celebrity in you, the one that has always been there but just needs the encouragement to come out, show up, and stand in the limelight.
4. A Few Men Have an Uncanny Success with Women, and One Type is The Charismatic.
The Charismatic man is particularly successful in groups of people. It’s his smoothness with language that makes him stand out - when he speaks, he uses storytelling, vivid imagery, and delightful spontaneity to move the group to laughter, excitement, and mass euphoria.
The Charismatic knows how to use his body language to command attention, using sweeping physical gestures, animated expressions, and piercing eye contact.
When he speaks, he puts his audience into a sort of hypnotic trance, and no one can take their eyes off of him.
As a result, people feel alive and energized around him, like a kind of electric current passes between him and the group, feeding off one another. Men want to follow him and women want a chance to be with him.
The Charismatic is no entertaining clown however. He makes girls compete and work for his reward and approval, and does not reveal all of himself at once.
And whereas most men hesitate before taking bold action, The Charismatic acts with single-minded self-assurance. He expresses what others are afraid to express. He says what others want to say, but don’t. He does not apologize for who he is or go halfway- and he is never afraid of going too far. It’s this unbridled openness that’s part of his magnetic attraction to women.
You see, most girls are in fact, incredibly bored with their lives. They attempt to suppress their inward sexuality and inner feelings because it is socially unacceptable. Yet women crave openness, adventure, and wild passion.
It’s the Charismatic’s unshakable confidence, sense of adventure, and open acts of social risk that hits women like a thunderclap. He delivers the intense, emotional fix and escape from reality that they’re looking for.
We too can build the archetypal behaviors and mindset of the Charismatic into our own selves by ridding the self-consciousness and discomfort most of us feel in groups. We too can build the skills of commanding body language, spontaneous fun, and group tactics for ourselves.
Think about how important social group skills are- after all, truly beautiful women, particularly in parties, bars, clubs, weddings, and other social events, are rarely found all by themselves. Truly beautiful women are found in groups, accompanied by a network of friends and wannabe suitors.
The Charismatic CD is specifically designed to put your mind into the state of the charismatic archetype and directly install new thoughts and patterns of behavior into you mind while you’re in an altered state of suggestible trance.
5. To Charm Means to Cast a Magical Spell. The Charmer Disarms Women by Understanding Their Inner Spirit, Feels Their Pain, and Adapts Himself to Their Needs and Desires.
The Charmer listens and observes, letting the woman talk, mirroring her until she feels comfortable. His interest is so focused that women relax and open up to him.
The Charmer casts his spell by aiming at her vanity, her ego. Women are in love with and hypnotized by their own image. After all, a woman’s favorite subject is herself. So the Charmer shares her values and tastes and adapts to her every mood, indulging in her vanity and giving her only what she wants to see about herself.
But lurking beneath the surface of any attempt to charm must be sexual tension. The Charmer does NOT give off those nice guy “friend” vibes. No, the Charmer is sexually flirtatious, teasing women with push pull innuendoes and suggestions that are both exciting and addictive.
The Charmer too is always a source of pleasure. Underneath, the Charmer may be clever and calculating, but on the surface he is all fantasy and pleasure. He distracts women from their problems by giving them good feelings. For once a woman feels pleasure it is far easier to bend her to one's will. And it is by making women dependent on him for their pleasure and good feelings that the Charmer reaps his power.
Even when a woman senses the Charmer’s cleverness, she is not immune to his spell. The emotions he provides are so powerful that even if she senses the affair cannot last, she loses all power to resist.
Part of the Charmer’s formula is to never whine nor complain. They are always lighthearted and fun rather than serious or critical. The Charmer never criticizes, begs, or cajoles but rather covertly plants ideas and insinuates suggestions. He never shows anger or impatience, emotions that make women defensive and break the fantasy.
Even in the face of a challenge or a setback, the Charmer keeps his cool to keep women relaxed and at ease. Yes, at all times Charmers are pleasant to be around.
And he doesn’t just limit himself to beautiful women; he befriends and charms as many people as possible. He uses his social skills to create new friends and a wide network of people to work within existing social groups. His objective is to make other people feel powerful and respected, to feel like a star themselves. No one feels ignored by the Charmer and he makes even the least important people feel like kings.
This revolutionary trance CD, The Charmer, brings out the true Charmer of women inside of you. The Charmer will bring out the sexually flirtatious, pleasurable guy who can cast an intoxicating spell on women.
6. The Lover is Like a Portrait Painter. Under His Spell, All of The Woman’s Physical Imperfections Disappear. He Brings Out the Noble Qualities in Women, Frames Them in Myth, and Immortalizes Them.
Who says that Chivalry is dead? The Lover is the man who opens doors for women, puts his shirt down in the mud for her to cross, and takes her hand to cross the street.
The Lover shows absolute devotion to women and puts their interests before his own. He pays scrupulous attention to details to make the fantasy and sex seem lofty and poetic.
The Lover is no pushover though- he should not be confused with the “nice guy”. The Lover adores women, he loves everything about them, but he knows when to walk away from a woman rather than reward her for bad behavior.
Think of the Lover as a knight of adventure and romance, returning women to their dreams and fantasies that have been shattered and broken with age. The Lover thrives on women’s broken hearts, touching her deepest desires and yearnings, and leading her to believe in an ideal love again.
The Lover suggests something more for women to aspire to, gives them a new image to live up to, a new faith in their untapped potential, an idealization of their character. It’s his ability to bring out a starry-eyed vision of noble love that makes women fall in love.
In a world full of surface and loose connections, but lacking in deeper intimacy, Lovers thrive because they seem genuine, open, making a “magical connection” with women that seems to only happen in storybooks and fairytales.
Yet, the Lover strategically flips between the spiritual and poetic and the ravishing and carnal pleasures. It’s the mix of heaven and the hints of forbidden pleasure that make women swoon to his arms. And though the Lover makes sex seem noble and intimacy spiritual, he is playing with power, and merely disguises his strategy behind the image of an idyllic sex.
How to find your ideal mate
This is such a wondrous way to think about the significant other in your life. Note to Self: quit living in a fantasy world and enjoy the real life you have been given. -- A.D.
Posted on Fri, Dec. 14, 2007
BARTON GOLDSMITH: Look to everyday life to find the perfect mate
Scripps Howard News Service
-- Almost daily I hear someone tell me about their ideal mate. The description goes something like this: "I want someone to travel with, who will play the sports I like, someone who will take me to nice places or give me a massage every night."
Although these are all wonderful things, they also are temporary, and not exactly the qualities that you want to look for in a life mate. After all, most of our lives are not spent in the first-class cabin, lunching at Spago or touring Paris. The truth is that we spend the majority of our time taking care of home, hearth and work -- not to mention the kids, animals and whatever else we have attached ourselves to.
Sure, we'd all like to travel the world and enjoy our free moments on the golf course or walking along the beach. But in reality, we spend much of our time as a couple running errands. I believe we need to be with someone who makes those types of chores at least tolerable, if not downright pleasant.
Perhaps our fantasy lovers would never consider going to the market on a Saturday evening, spending a couple of weekends organizing the garage or clipping coupons from the Sunday paper -- and I doubt this is something Brad and Angelina have ever done. Since most of us aren't movie stars, however, we need to put our expectations into perspective.
We also need to realize it's a gift to have a loving companion who helps us endure the stresses of life with as little damage as possible.
Look at your partner again and think to yourself, "Wow, this person has really made the drudgery of daily living much easier." And then, remember to say it to him or her, for your loved one can never hear it enough.
Then thank your lucky stars that you've found someone who isn't going to demand that you fly them to the moon to make them happy. Our days go so quickly. Don't taint them by not appreciating the love you are fortunate enough to have.
I know that chasing down the blue-light special is far less enticing than relaxing on an exotic island but, in the end, most of our time is spent doing the little things. And doing them is so much easier when you have a sweetheart holding your hand as you meander through the aisles.
The most important thing in a good partner is that he or she will accept you for who you are and joyfully share in what the two of you are able to do and provide for, and with, each other.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples. Contact him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com. For more stories visit scrippsnews.com.
© 2007 Sun Herald. All Rights Reserved. http://www.sunherald.com
Posted on Fri, Dec. 14, 2007
BARTON GOLDSMITH: Look to everyday life to find the perfect mate
Scripps Howard News Service
-- Almost daily I hear someone tell me about their ideal mate. The description goes something like this: "I want someone to travel with, who will play the sports I like, someone who will take me to nice places or give me a massage every night."
Although these are all wonderful things, they also are temporary, and not exactly the qualities that you want to look for in a life mate. After all, most of our lives are not spent in the first-class cabin, lunching at Spago or touring Paris. The truth is that we spend the majority of our time taking care of home, hearth and work -- not to mention the kids, animals and whatever else we have attached ourselves to.
Sure, we'd all like to travel the world and enjoy our free moments on the golf course or walking along the beach. But in reality, we spend much of our time as a couple running errands. I believe we need to be with someone who makes those types of chores at least tolerable, if not downright pleasant.
Perhaps our fantasy lovers would never consider going to the market on a Saturday evening, spending a couple of weekends organizing the garage or clipping coupons from the Sunday paper -- and I doubt this is something Brad and Angelina have ever done. Since most of us aren't movie stars, however, we need to put our expectations into perspective.
We also need to realize it's a gift to have a loving companion who helps us endure the stresses of life with as little damage as possible.
Look at your partner again and think to yourself, "Wow, this person has really made the drudgery of daily living much easier." And then, remember to say it to him or her, for your loved one can never hear it enough.
Then thank your lucky stars that you've found someone who isn't going to demand that you fly them to the moon to make them happy. Our days go so quickly. Don't taint them by not appreciating the love you are fortunate enough to have.
I know that chasing down the blue-light special is far less enticing than relaxing on an exotic island but, in the end, most of our time is spent doing the little things. And doing them is so much easier when you have a sweetheart holding your hand as you meander through the aisles.
The most important thing in a good partner is that he or she will accept you for who you are and joyfully share in what the two of you are able to do and provide for, and with, each other.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples. Contact him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com. For more stories visit scrippsnews.com.
© 2007 Sun Herald. All Rights Reserved. http://www.sunherald.com
Domestic Violence
http://www.mvwcs.com/mindabuser.html
Domestic Violence
In the Mind of the Abuser
Domestic Violence
Sexual Assault
Safety
Children's Issues
Youth Issues
Violent Language
Guestbook
Documents
Community Involvement
Reading List and Links
Site Map
Abusive people typically think they are unique, really so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules everyone else does. But rather than being unique, abusers have a lot in common with one another, including their patterns of thinking and behaving. The following are some of their characteristics.
Excuse Making
Instead of accepting responsibility for his actions, the abuser tries to justify his behavior with excuses. For example: "My parents never loved me" or "My parents beat me" or "I had a bad day, and when I walked in and saw this mess, I lost my temper" or "I couldn't let her talk to me that way. There was nothing else I could do."
Blaming
The abuser shifts responsibility for his actions away from himself and onto others, a shift that allows him to justify his abuse because the other person supposedly "caused" his behavior. For example: "If you would stay out of it while I am disciplining the kids, I could do it without hitting them." Or he may say, "She pushes my buttons." Statements like this are victim blaming. If he really had buttons she could push, she would push the one that says, "vacuum" instead the one that says, "hit me".
Redefining
In a variation on the tactic of blaming, the abuser redefines the situation so that the problem is not with him but with others or with the outside world in general. For example, the abuser doesn't come home for dinner at 6 p.m. as he said he would; he comes home at 4 a.m. He says, "You're an awful cook anyway. Why should I come home to eat that stuff? I bet the kids wouldn't even eat it."
Success Fantasies
The abuser believes he would be rich, famous, or extremely successful if only other people weren't "holding me back." He uses this belief to justify his abuse. The abuser also puts other people down verbally as a way of making himself look superior.
Lying
The abuser controls the situation by lying to control the information available. The abuser also may use lying to keep other people, including his victim, off-balance psychologically. For example, he tries to appear truthful when he's lying, he tries to look deceitful even when he's telling the truth, and sometimes he reveals himself in an obvious lie.
Assuming
Abusive people often assume they know what others are thinking or feeling. Their assumption allows them to justify their behavior because they "know" what the other person would think or do in a given situation. For example, "I knew you'd be mad because I went out for a beer after work, so I figured I might as well stay out and enjoy myself."
Above the Rules
As mentioned earlier, an abuser generally believes he is better than other people and so does not have to follow the rules that ordinary people do. That attitude is typical of convicted criminals, too. Each inmate in a jail typically believes that while all the other inmates are criminals, he himself is not. An abuser shows "above-the-rules" thinking when he says, for example, 'I don't need batterer intervention. I'm different than those other men. Nobody has the right to question what I do in my family."
Making Fools of Others
The abuser combines tactics to manipulate others. The tactics include lying, upsetting the other person just to watch his or her reactions, and encouraging a fight between or among others. Or, he may try to charm the person he wants to manipulate, pretending a lot of interest or concern for that person in order to get on her or his good side.
Fragmentation
The abuser usually keeps his abusive behavior separate from the rest of his life. The separation is physical; for example, he will beat up family members but not people outside his home. The separation is psychological; for example, the abuser attends church Sunday morning and beats his wife Sunday night. He sees no inconsistency in his behavior and feels justified in it.
Minimizing
The abuser ducks responsibility for his actions by trying to make them seem less important than they are. For example, "I didn't hit you that hard" or 'I only hit one of the kids. I could have hit them all."
Vagueness
Thinking and speaking vaguely lets the abuser avoid responsibility. For example, "I'm late because I had some things to do on the way home."
Anger
Abusive people are not actually angrier than other people. However, they deliberately appear to be angry in order to control situations and people.
Power Plays
The abuser uses various tactics to power trip others. For instance, he walks out of the room when the victim is talking, or out-shouts the victim, or organizes other family members or associates to "gang up" on the victim in shunning or criticizing her.
Playing Victim
Occasionally the abuser will pretend to be helpless or will act persecuted in order to manipulate others into helping him. Here, the abuser thinks that if he doesn't get what he wants, he is the victim; and he uses the disguise of victim to get back at or make fools of others. Abusers will often claim to be the victim in order to avoid being held accountable by law enforcement. He may assert she was the one who was violent. He will display what are clearly defensive wounds, such as bite marks or scratch marks, and claim she "attacked" him. Or he will declare that the physical marks on her were caused when he was trying to keep her from hurting herself.
Drama and Excitement
Abusive people often make the choice not to have close relationships with other people. They substitute drama and excitement for closeness. Abusive people find it exciting to watch others get angry, get into fights, or be in a state of general uproar. Often, they'll use a combination of tactics described earlier to set up a dramatic and exciting situation.
Closed Channel
The abusive person does not tell much about himself and his real feelings. He is not open to new information about himself, either, such as insights into how others see him. He is secretive, close-minded, and self-righteous. He believes he is right in all situations.
Ownership
The abuser typically is very possessive. Moreover, he believes that anything he wants should be his, and he can do as he pleases with anything that is his. That attitude applies to people as well as to possessions. It justifies his controlling behavior, physically hurting others, and taking things that belong to them.
Self-glorification
The abuser usually thinks of himself as strong, superior, independent, self-sufficient, and very masculine. His picture of the ideal man often is the cowboy or adventurer type. When anyone says or does anything that doesn't fit his glorified self-image, the abuser takes it as an insult.
Domestic Violence
In the Mind of the Abuser
Domestic Violence
Sexual Assault
Safety
Children's Issues
Youth Issues
Violent Language
Guestbook
Documents
Community Involvement
Reading List and Links
Site Map
Abusive people typically think they are unique, really so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules everyone else does. But rather than being unique, abusers have a lot in common with one another, including their patterns of thinking and behaving. The following are some of their characteristics.
Excuse Making
Instead of accepting responsibility for his actions, the abuser tries to justify his behavior with excuses. For example: "My parents never loved me" or "My parents beat me" or "I had a bad day, and when I walked in and saw this mess, I lost my temper" or "I couldn't let her talk to me that way. There was nothing else I could do."
Blaming
The abuser shifts responsibility for his actions away from himself and onto others, a shift that allows him to justify his abuse because the other person supposedly "caused" his behavior. For example: "If you would stay out of it while I am disciplining the kids, I could do it without hitting them." Or he may say, "She pushes my buttons." Statements like this are victim blaming. If he really had buttons she could push, she would push the one that says, "vacuum" instead the one that says, "hit me".
Redefining
In a variation on the tactic of blaming, the abuser redefines the situation so that the problem is not with him but with others or with the outside world in general. For example, the abuser doesn't come home for dinner at 6 p.m. as he said he would; he comes home at 4 a.m. He says, "You're an awful cook anyway. Why should I come home to eat that stuff? I bet the kids wouldn't even eat it."
Success Fantasies
The abuser believes he would be rich, famous, or extremely successful if only other people weren't "holding me back." He uses this belief to justify his abuse. The abuser also puts other people down verbally as a way of making himself look superior.
Lying
The abuser controls the situation by lying to control the information available. The abuser also may use lying to keep other people, including his victim, off-balance psychologically. For example, he tries to appear truthful when he's lying, he tries to look deceitful even when he's telling the truth, and sometimes he reveals himself in an obvious lie.
Assuming
Abusive people often assume they know what others are thinking or feeling. Their assumption allows them to justify their behavior because they "know" what the other person would think or do in a given situation. For example, "I knew you'd be mad because I went out for a beer after work, so I figured I might as well stay out and enjoy myself."
Above the Rules
As mentioned earlier, an abuser generally believes he is better than other people and so does not have to follow the rules that ordinary people do. That attitude is typical of convicted criminals, too. Each inmate in a jail typically believes that while all the other inmates are criminals, he himself is not. An abuser shows "above-the-rules" thinking when he says, for example, 'I don't need batterer intervention. I'm different than those other men. Nobody has the right to question what I do in my family."
Making Fools of Others
The abuser combines tactics to manipulate others. The tactics include lying, upsetting the other person just to watch his or her reactions, and encouraging a fight between or among others. Or, he may try to charm the person he wants to manipulate, pretending a lot of interest or concern for that person in order to get on her or his good side.
Fragmentation
The abuser usually keeps his abusive behavior separate from the rest of his life. The separation is physical; for example, he will beat up family members but not people outside his home. The separation is psychological; for example, the abuser attends church Sunday morning and beats his wife Sunday night. He sees no inconsistency in his behavior and feels justified in it.
Minimizing
The abuser ducks responsibility for his actions by trying to make them seem less important than they are. For example, "I didn't hit you that hard" or 'I only hit one of the kids. I could have hit them all."
Vagueness
Thinking and speaking vaguely lets the abuser avoid responsibility. For example, "I'm late because I had some things to do on the way home."
Anger
Abusive people are not actually angrier than other people. However, they deliberately appear to be angry in order to control situations and people.
Power Plays
The abuser uses various tactics to power trip others. For instance, he walks out of the room when the victim is talking, or out-shouts the victim, or organizes other family members or associates to "gang up" on the victim in shunning or criticizing her.
Playing Victim
Occasionally the abuser will pretend to be helpless or will act persecuted in order to manipulate others into helping him. Here, the abuser thinks that if he doesn't get what he wants, he is the victim; and he uses the disguise of victim to get back at or make fools of others. Abusers will often claim to be the victim in order to avoid being held accountable by law enforcement. He may assert she was the one who was violent. He will display what are clearly defensive wounds, such as bite marks or scratch marks, and claim she "attacked" him. Or he will declare that the physical marks on her were caused when he was trying to keep her from hurting herself.
Drama and Excitement
Abusive people often make the choice not to have close relationships with other people. They substitute drama and excitement for closeness. Abusive people find it exciting to watch others get angry, get into fights, or be in a state of general uproar. Often, they'll use a combination of tactics described earlier to set up a dramatic and exciting situation.
Closed Channel
The abusive person does not tell much about himself and his real feelings. He is not open to new information about himself, either, such as insights into how others see him. He is secretive, close-minded, and self-righteous. He believes he is right in all situations.
Ownership
The abuser typically is very possessive. Moreover, he believes that anything he wants should be his, and he can do as he pleases with anything that is his. That attitude applies to people as well as to possessions. It justifies his controlling behavior, physically hurting others, and taking things that belong to them.
Self-glorification
The abuser usually thinks of himself as strong, superior, independent, self-sufficient, and very masculine. His picture of the ideal man often is the cowboy or adventurer type. When anyone says or does anything that doesn't fit his glorified self-image, the abuser takes it as an insult.
Infidelity Warning Signs
Advice with Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee
Infidelity Warning Signs http://www.drdaveanddee.com/infidelity1.html
Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,
My husband suddenly decided to color his gray hair and bought a new wardrobe. Do you think these are signs that he is having an affair?
Signed,
Suspicious
Dear Suspicious,
If he gives you no other reasons to be concerned, then his attention to his appearance could be nothing more than a boost to his ego, not a sign of an affair.
Normally, men who commit adultery have a pattern of behavior changes. Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs." In brief, below are Houston's 21 major categories for detecting an affair. (www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com)
21 WARNING SIGNS OF AN AFFAIR:
1. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE - 76 telltale signs: If he embarks on a drastic self-induced makeover, it's probably not for you.
2. HOW HE RELATES TO YOU - 70 telltale signs: His involvement with another woman will cause him to treat you differently - even on a subconscious level.
3. CONVERSATIONAL CLUES - 70 telltale signs: He may mention new people, places and things, while the people, places and things he normally talks about are no longer a part of his conversation.
4. WORK HABITS - 39 telltale signs: Work is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home.
5. DAY-TO-DAY BEHAVIOR - 92 telltale signs: A man who is cheating will display changes of some kind in his normal patterns of behavior. Pay close attention to any deviations in your husband’s daily routine.
6. FINANCIAL AFFAIRS - 52 telltale signs: Affairs cost money. If your husband has a lover, he'll want to wine her, dine her, entertain her and buy her occasional gifts.
7. TRAVEL - 27 telltale signs: Travel affords a cheating unfaithful husband a unique opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes.
8. PERSONALITY OR BEHAVIORAL CHANGES - 36 telltale signs: Be alert for changes in your husband’s attitude, personality or behavior.
9. ABSENCES - 39 telltale signs: Affairs generally require a considerable amount of time.
10. TELEPHONE TIP-OFFS - 76 telltale signs: Many men take the risk of calling their lovers from home or having their lovers call them at home.
11. CAR CLUES - 40 telltale signs: Your husband's (or the family) car can be a rich source of telltale signs.
12. SEX - 37 telltale signs: Be alert for any type of changes in the frequency or the quality of your sex life together. Most important of all: If you suspect your husband of having an affair, take steps to protect yourself. Do not put yourself at risk for HIV/AIDS, herpes or e other sexually transmitted diseases.
13. EATING HABITS - 31 telltale signs: Without even realizing it, he may develop a preference for the type of food she eats, the way she likes her food prepared or the kind of restaurants in which she likes to eat.
14. SMELLS AND TASTES - 21 telltale signs: Pay close attention if your husband smells or tastes different, or if something in your home or car just doesn't smell right.
15. INVASION OF YOUR HOME - 22 telltale signs: It's not uncommon for a man who's cheating to invite his lover to his home. When this happens, it's not unheard of for lovers to leave personal items behind - sometimes deliberately, for an unsuspecting wife to find.
16. GIFTS - 19 telltale signs: During the holidays and various other times throughout the year, you may find gifts or cards hidden around your home or in the car.
17. COMPUTER USE - 30 telltale signs: It's common these days for a cheating husband to use e-mail to communicate with his lover. Some of the telltale signs in this category may also be an indication of his involvement in an online or cyber affair.
18. CELL PHONES AND PAGERS/BEEPERS - 28 telltale signs: Today's technological advances make it easier for a husband to cheat on his wife.
19. PHYSICAL EVIDENCE - 32 telltale signs: Many times there's physical evidence just waiting to be found.
20. HIS BEHAVIOR AROUND OTHER WOMEN - 71 telltale signs: If you're observant, you may be able to determine the identity of your husband’s lover by the way he behaves in her presence, or by how she behaves around him.
21. ACCIDENTAL SLIPS-UPS OR DISCLOSURES - 57 telltale signs: An accidental slip-up on his part or on the part of someone else can clue you in to what's been happening behind your back.
Visit www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com for more information on cheating husbands and signs of infidelity.
Infidelity Warning Signs http://www.drdaveanddee.com/infidelity1.html
Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,
My husband suddenly decided to color his gray hair and bought a new wardrobe. Do you think these are signs that he is having an affair?
Signed,
Suspicious
Dear Suspicious,
If he gives you no other reasons to be concerned, then his attention to his appearance could be nothing more than a boost to his ego, not a sign of an affair.
Normally, men who commit adultery have a pattern of behavior changes. Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs." In brief, below are Houston's 21 major categories for detecting an affair. (www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com)
21 WARNING SIGNS OF AN AFFAIR:
1. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE - 76 telltale signs: If he embarks on a drastic self-induced makeover, it's probably not for you.
2. HOW HE RELATES TO YOU - 70 telltale signs: His involvement with another woman will cause him to treat you differently - even on a subconscious level.
3. CONVERSATIONAL CLUES - 70 telltale signs: He may mention new people, places and things, while the people, places and things he normally talks about are no longer a part of his conversation.
4. WORK HABITS - 39 telltale signs: Work is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home.
5. DAY-TO-DAY BEHAVIOR - 92 telltale signs: A man who is cheating will display changes of some kind in his normal patterns of behavior. Pay close attention to any deviations in your husband’s daily routine.
6. FINANCIAL AFFAIRS - 52 telltale signs: Affairs cost money. If your husband has a lover, he'll want to wine her, dine her, entertain her and buy her occasional gifts.
7. TRAVEL - 27 telltale signs: Travel affords a cheating unfaithful husband a unique opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes.
8. PERSONALITY OR BEHAVIORAL CHANGES - 36 telltale signs: Be alert for changes in your husband’s attitude, personality or behavior.
9. ABSENCES - 39 telltale signs: Affairs generally require a considerable amount of time.
10. TELEPHONE TIP-OFFS - 76 telltale signs: Many men take the risk of calling their lovers from home or having their lovers call them at home.
11. CAR CLUES - 40 telltale signs: Your husband's (or the family) car can be a rich source of telltale signs.
12. SEX - 37 telltale signs: Be alert for any type of changes in the frequency or the quality of your sex life together. Most important of all: If you suspect your husband of having an affair, take steps to protect yourself. Do not put yourself at risk for HIV/AIDS, herpes or e other sexually transmitted diseases.
13. EATING HABITS - 31 telltale signs: Without even realizing it, he may develop a preference for the type of food she eats, the way she likes her food prepared or the kind of restaurants in which she likes to eat.
14. SMELLS AND TASTES - 21 telltale signs: Pay close attention if your husband smells or tastes different, or if something in your home or car just doesn't smell right.
15. INVASION OF YOUR HOME - 22 telltale signs: It's not uncommon for a man who's cheating to invite his lover to his home. When this happens, it's not unheard of for lovers to leave personal items behind - sometimes deliberately, for an unsuspecting wife to find.
16. GIFTS - 19 telltale signs: During the holidays and various other times throughout the year, you may find gifts or cards hidden around your home or in the car.
17. COMPUTER USE - 30 telltale signs: It's common these days for a cheating husband to use e-mail to communicate with his lover. Some of the telltale signs in this category may also be an indication of his involvement in an online or cyber affair.
18. CELL PHONES AND PAGERS/BEEPERS - 28 telltale signs: Today's technological advances make it easier for a husband to cheat on his wife.
19. PHYSICAL EVIDENCE - 32 telltale signs: Many times there's physical evidence just waiting to be found.
20. HIS BEHAVIOR AROUND OTHER WOMEN - 71 telltale signs: If you're observant, you may be able to determine the identity of your husband’s lover by the way he behaves in her presence, or by how she behaves around him.
21. ACCIDENTAL SLIPS-UPS OR DISCLOSURES - 57 telltale signs: An accidental slip-up on his part or on the part of someone else can clue you in to what's been happening behind your back.
Visit www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com for more information on cheating husbands and signs of infidelity.
More signs of an abuser
If the abuse has occurred during dating, it is very likely to continue after marriage.
Once physical abuse has occurred, it is likely to occur again and to escalate over time. You cannot change your partner’s behavior. You can only change yourself. It is not necessary to stay in a relationship of fear. You have the right to choose how you wish to live.
Ideally, a good time frame to be alone and work on your recovery is two to three years. An old adage states that we should live through the four seasons before becoming involved with someone new. If you think about it... it does make a lot of sense. The four seasons are, indeed, a cleansing of sorts... providing you with valuable healing time to do your inner work and the time to rebuild your life in a positive healthy way.
If and when you do become involved with someone new, please keep in mind the acting abilities of most abusers. There's a chance you won't experience her abusive side until she's sure she has you "hooked."
Listed below are some clues to help you identify an abuser. Abusers generally exhibit the same type of behavioral patterns. If you learn to recognize those patterns and signals, you can help yourself to stop unhealthy relationships before they begin.
Some Abusive Relationship Warning Signs
The person in your life is warning you and telling you she has an abusive nature if she:
If she emotionally abuses you. This includes insults, belittling comments, ignoring you, or acting sulky or angry when you initiate an action or idea.
If she tells you who you may be friends with, how you should dress, or tries to control other elements of your life or relationship.
If she talks negatively about men in general.
If she gets jealous when there is no reason.
If she drinks heavily, uses drugs, or tries to get you drunk.
If she berates you for not wanting to get drunk, get high, have sex, or go with her to an isolated or personal place.
If she is physically violent to you or to others, even if it's "just" grabbing and pushing to get her way.
If she acts in an intimidating way toward you by invading your "personal space" [sits too close, speaks as if she knows you much better than she does, touches you when you tell her not to.]
If she is unable to handle sexual and emotional frustrations without becoming angry, sulky or withdrawing.
If she does not view you as an equal because she's older or sees herself as smarter or socially superior.
If she goes through extreme highs and lows, is kind one minute and cruel the next.
If she is angry and threatening to the extent that you are changing your behavior so as not to anger her.
Signs to Look for in an Abusive Personality
Many people are interested in ways to predict whether they are about to become involved with someone who will be physically abusive. Many victims do not realize that these early behaviors are warning signs of potential future physical abuse, such as the last four listed behaviors [numbers 13-16.] If the person has several (three or more) of the first 12 listed behaviors, there is a strong potential for physical violence -- the more signs a person has, the more likely the person is a batterer.
In some cases, a batterer may only have a couple of behaviors that the victim can recognize, but they may be very exaggerated (e.g., will try to explain her behavior as signs of her love and concern), and a victim may be flattered at first. However, as time goes by, the behavior becomes more severe and serves to dominate or control the other person.
Below is a list of common behaviors that are seen in abusive people.
1] Jealousy: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love; jealousy has nothing to do with love, it is a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust. She will question the other person about whom he talks to, accuse him of flirting, or be jealous of the time he spends with his family or friends. As the jealousy progresses, she may call frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. She may refuse to let you work for fear you will meet someone else, or even do strange behaviors like checking your car mileage or asking friends to watch you.
2] Controlling Behavior: At first, the batterer will say that this behavior is because she is concerned with your safety, your need to use your time well, or your need to make good decisions. She will be angry if you are late coming back from an appointment or a class, she will question you closely about where you went and whom you talked to. As this behavior gets worse, she may not let you make personal decisions about your clothing, hair style, appearance.
3] Quick Involvement: Many people in abusive relationships dated or knew their abusive partners for less than six months before they were married, engaged or living together. She comes on like a whirlwind, claiming, “You are the only person I could ever talk to” or “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. She will pressure you to commit to the relationship in such a way that you may later feel guilty or that you are “letting her down” if you want to slow down involvement or break up.
4] Unrealistic Expectations: Abusive people will expect their partner to meet all their needs; she expects you to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect husband, the perfect friend or the perfect lover. She will say things like, “If you love me, I’m all you need and you are all I need.” You are supposed to take care of all of her emotional needs.
5] Isolation: The abusive person will try to cut you off from all resources. She accuses you of being “tied to your mother’s apron strings,” or your friends of “trying to cause trouble” between you. If you have a friend of the opposite sex, you are “going out on her” and if you have friends of the same sex, she may accuse you of being gay.
6] Blames Others for Problems: She is chronically unemployed, someone is always waiting for her to do wrong or mess up or someone is always out to get her. She may make mistakes and blame you for upsetting her. She may accuse you of preventing her from concentrating on school. She will tell you that you are at fault for almost anything that goes wrong.
7] Blames Others for Feelings: She will tell you, “You make me mad,” “You are hurting me by not doing what I want you to do,” or “I can’t help being angry.” She really makes the decisions about how she thinks or feels, but will use feelings to manipulate you.
8] Hypersensitivity: An abusive person is easily insulted, and claims that their feelings are hurt when really she is very mad. She often takes the slightest setbacks as personal attacks. She will rant about things that are really just part of living like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being asked to help others with chores.
9] Cruelty to Animals or Children: This is a person who punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain and suffering. She may tease younger brothers or sisters until they cry.
10] “Playful” use of Force in Sex: This kind of person is likely to be abusive during making out, or she may want you to act out fantasies in which you are helpless. She is letting you know that the idea of sex is exciting. She may show little concern about whether you want affection and may sulk or use anger to manipulate you into compliance.
11] Verbal Abuse: In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen when the abusive person tries to degrade you, curses you, calls you names or makes fun of your accomplishments. The abusive person will tell you that you are stupid and unable to function without her. This may involve waking you up to verbally abuse you or not letting you go to sleep until you talk out an argument.
12] Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde: Many people are confused by their abusive partner’s “sudden” changes in mood -- you may think she has a mental problem because she is nice one minute and the next minute she is exploding. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical of people who are abusive to their partners, and these behaviors are related to other characteristics like hypersensitivity.
13] Past Battering: This person may say that she has hit boyfriends or husbands in the past but the other person “made her do it.” You may hear from relatives or past male friends that she is abusive. An abusive person will be physically abusive to any one they are with if the other person is with them long enough for the violence to begin; situational circumstances do not change a person into an abuser.
14] Threats of violence: This could include any threat of physical force meant to control you: “I’ll slap you,” “I’ll kill you,” or “I’ll break your neck." Most people do not threaten their partners, but the abusive person will try to excuse her threats by saying, “Everybody talks that way.”
15] Breaking or Striking Objects: This behavior is used as a punishment (breaking loved possessions), but is mostly used to terrorize you into submission. The abuser may beat on the table with her fists, throw objects at or near you, kick the car, slam the door or drive at a high rate of speed or recklessly to scare you. Not only is this a sign of extreme emotional immaturity, but there is great danger when someone thinks they have the “right” to punish or frighten you.
16] Any Force During an Argument: This may involve an abusive partner holding you down, physically restraining you from leaving the room, any pushing or shoving. She may hold you against the wall and say, “You are going to listen to me.”
"Signs to Look for in an Abusive Personality" from the Knoxville Police Department Domestic Violence Unit website. Thank you for making this information available.
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page17.html
Once physical abuse has occurred, it is likely to occur again and to escalate over time. You cannot change your partner’s behavior. You can only change yourself. It is not necessary to stay in a relationship of fear. You have the right to choose how you wish to live.
Ideally, a good time frame to be alone and work on your recovery is two to three years. An old adage states that we should live through the four seasons before becoming involved with someone new. If you think about it... it does make a lot of sense. The four seasons are, indeed, a cleansing of sorts... providing you with valuable healing time to do your inner work and the time to rebuild your life in a positive healthy way.
If and when you do become involved with someone new, please keep in mind the acting abilities of most abusers. There's a chance you won't experience her abusive side until she's sure she has you "hooked."
Listed below are some clues to help you identify an abuser. Abusers generally exhibit the same type of behavioral patterns. If you learn to recognize those patterns and signals, you can help yourself to stop unhealthy relationships before they begin.
Some Abusive Relationship Warning Signs
The person in your life is warning you and telling you she has an abusive nature if she:
If she emotionally abuses you. This includes insults, belittling comments, ignoring you, or acting sulky or angry when you initiate an action or idea.
If she tells you who you may be friends with, how you should dress, or tries to control other elements of your life or relationship.
If she talks negatively about men in general.
If she gets jealous when there is no reason.
If she drinks heavily, uses drugs, or tries to get you drunk.
If she berates you for not wanting to get drunk, get high, have sex, or go with her to an isolated or personal place.
If she is physically violent to you or to others, even if it's "just" grabbing and pushing to get her way.
If she acts in an intimidating way toward you by invading your "personal space" [sits too close, speaks as if she knows you much better than she does, touches you when you tell her not to.]
If she is unable to handle sexual and emotional frustrations without becoming angry, sulky or withdrawing.
If she does not view you as an equal because she's older or sees herself as smarter or socially superior.
If she goes through extreme highs and lows, is kind one minute and cruel the next.
If she is angry and threatening to the extent that you are changing your behavior so as not to anger her.
Signs to Look for in an Abusive Personality
Many people are interested in ways to predict whether they are about to become involved with someone who will be physically abusive. Many victims do not realize that these early behaviors are warning signs of potential future physical abuse, such as the last four listed behaviors [numbers 13-16.] If the person has several (three or more) of the first 12 listed behaviors, there is a strong potential for physical violence -- the more signs a person has, the more likely the person is a batterer.
In some cases, a batterer may only have a couple of behaviors that the victim can recognize, but they may be very exaggerated (e.g., will try to explain her behavior as signs of her love and concern), and a victim may be flattered at first. However, as time goes by, the behavior becomes more severe and serves to dominate or control the other person.
Below is a list of common behaviors that are seen in abusive people.
1] Jealousy: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love; jealousy has nothing to do with love, it is a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust. She will question the other person about whom he talks to, accuse him of flirting, or be jealous of the time he spends with his family or friends. As the jealousy progresses, she may call frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. She may refuse to let you work for fear you will meet someone else, or even do strange behaviors like checking your car mileage or asking friends to watch you.
2] Controlling Behavior: At first, the batterer will say that this behavior is because she is concerned with your safety, your need to use your time well, or your need to make good decisions. She will be angry if you are late coming back from an appointment or a class, she will question you closely about where you went and whom you talked to. As this behavior gets worse, she may not let you make personal decisions about your clothing, hair style, appearance.
3] Quick Involvement: Many people in abusive relationships dated or knew their abusive partners for less than six months before they were married, engaged or living together. She comes on like a whirlwind, claiming, “You are the only person I could ever talk to” or “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. She will pressure you to commit to the relationship in such a way that you may later feel guilty or that you are “letting her down” if you want to slow down involvement or break up.
4] Unrealistic Expectations: Abusive people will expect their partner to meet all their needs; she expects you to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect husband, the perfect friend or the perfect lover. She will say things like, “If you love me, I’m all you need and you are all I need.” You are supposed to take care of all of her emotional needs.
5] Isolation: The abusive person will try to cut you off from all resources. She accuses you of being “tied to your mother’s apron strings,” or your friends of “trying to cause trouble” between you. If you have a friend of the opposite sex, you are “going out on her” and if you have friends of the same sex, she may accuse you of being gay.
6] Blames Others for Problems: She is chronically unemployed, someone is always waiting for her to do wrong or mess up or someone is always out to get her. She may make mistakes and blame you for upsetting her. She may accuse you of preventing her from concentrating on school. She will tell you that you are at fault for almost anything that goes wrong.
7] Blames Others for Feelings: She will tell you, “You make me mad,” “You are hurting me by not doing what I want you to do,” or “I can’t help being angry.” She really makes the decisions about how she thinks or feels, but will use feelings to manipulate you.
8] Hypersensitivity: An abusive person is easily insulted, and claims that their feelings are hurt when really she is very mad. She often takes the slightest setbacks as personal attacks. She will rant about things that are really just part of living like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being asked to help others with chores.
9] Cruelty to Animals or Children: This is a person who punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain and suffering. She may tease younger brothers or sisters until they cry.
10] “Playful” use of Force in Sex: This kind of person is likely to be abusive during making out, or she may want you to act out fantasies in which you are helpless. She is letting you know that the idea of sex is exciting. She may show little concern about whether you want affection and may sulk or use anger to manipulate you into compliance.
11] Verbal Abuse: In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen when the abusive person tries to degrade you, curses you, calls you names or makes fun of your accomplishments. The abusive person will tell you that you are stupid and unable to function without her. This may involve waking you up to verbally abuse you or not letting you go to sleep until you talk out an argument.
12] Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde: Many people are confused by their abusive partner’s “sudden” changes in mood -- you may think she has a mental problem because she is nice one minute and the next minute she is exploding. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical of people who are abusive to their partners, and these behaviors are related to other characteristics like hypersensitivity.
13] Past Battering: This person may say that she has hit boyfriends or husbands in the past but the other person “made her do it.” You may hear from relatives or past male friends that she is abusive. An abusive person will be physically abusive to any one they are with if the other person is with them long enough for the violence to begin; situational circumstances do not change a person into an abuser.
14] Threats of violence: This could include any threat of physical force meant to control you: “I’ll slap you,” “I’ll kill you,” or “I’ll break your neck." Most people do not threaten their partners, but the abusive person will try to excuse her threats by saying, “Everybody talks that way.”
15] Breaking or Striking Objects: This behavior is used as a punishment (breaking loved possessions), but is mostly used to terrorize you into submission. The abuser may beat on the table with her fists, throw objects at or near you, kick the car, slam the door or drive at a high rate of speed or recklessly to scare you. Not only is this a sign of extreme emotional immaturity, but there is great danger when someone thinks they have the “right” to punish or frighten you.
16] Any Force During an Argument: This may involve an abusive partner holding you down, physically restraining you from leaving the room, any pushing or shoving. She may hold you against the wall and say, “You are going to listen to me.”
"Signs to Look for in an Abusive Personality" from the Knoxville Police Department Domestic Violence Unit website. Thank you for making this information available.
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page17.html
How to Spot an Abuser on Your First Date
How to Spot an Abuser on Your First Date
By: Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse7.html
Copyright Notice
This material is copyrighted. Free, unrestricted use is allowed on a non commercial basis.
The author's name and a link to this Website must be incorporated in any reproduction of the material for any use and by any means.
Write to me: palma@unet.com.mk or narcissisticabuse-owner@yahoogroups.com
Is there anything you can do to avoid abusers and narcissists to start with? Are there any warning signs, any identifying marks, rules of thumb to shield you from the harrowing and traumatic experience of an abusive relationship?
Imagine a first or second date. You can already tell if he is a would-be abuser. Here's how:
Perhaps the first telltale sign is the abuser's alloplastic defenses – his tendency to blame every mistake of his, every failure, or mishap on others, or on the world at large. Be tuned: does he assume personal responsibility? Does he admit his faults and miscalculations? Or does he keep blaming you, the cab driver, the waiter, the weather, the government, or fortune for his predicament?
Is he hypersensitive, picks up fights, feels constantly slighted, injured, and insulted? Does he rant incessantly? Does he treat animals and children impatiently or cruelly and does he express negative and aggressive emotions towards the weak, the poor, the needy, the sentimental, and the disabled? Does he confess to having a history of battering or violent offenses or behavior? Is his language vile and infused with expletives, threats, and hostility?
Next thing: is he too eager? Does he push you to marry him having dated you only twice? Is he planning on having children on your first date? Does he immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life? Is he pressing you for exclusivity, instant intimacy, almost rapes you and acts jealous when you as much as cast a glance at another male? Does he inform you that, once you get hitched, you should abandon your studies or resign your job (forgo your personal autonomy)?
Does he respect your boundaries and privacy? Does he ignore your wishes (for instance, by choosing from the menu or selecting a movie without as much as consulting you)? Does he disrespect your boundaries and treats you as an object or an instrument of gratification (materializes on your doorstep unexpectedly or calls you often prior to your date)? Does he go through your personal belongings while waiting for you to get ready?
Does he control the situation and you compulsively? Does he insist to ride in his car, holds on to the car keys, the money, the theater tickets, and even your bag? Does he disapprove if you are away for too long (for instance when you go to the powder room)? Does he interrogate you when you return ("have you seen anyone interesting") – or make lewd "jokes" and remarks? Does he hint that, in future, you would need his permission to do things – even as innocuous as meeting a friend or visiting with your family?
Does he act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticizes you often? Does he emphasize your minutest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealizes you)? Is he wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general?
Does he tell you constantly that you "make him feel" good? Don't be impressed. Next thing, he may tell you that you "make" him feel bad, or that you make him feel violent, or that you "provoke" him. "Look what you made me do!" is an abuser's ubiquitous catchphrase.
Does he find sadistic sex exciting? Does he have fantasies of rape or pedophilia? Is he too forceful with you in and out of the sexual intercourse? Does he like hurting you physically or finds it amusing? Does he abuse you verbally – does he curse you, demeans you, calls you ugly or inappropriately diminutive names, or persistently criticizes you? Does he then switch to being saccharine and "loving", apologizes profusely and buys you gifts?
If you have answered "yes" to any of the above – stay away! He is an abuser.
Then there is the abuser's body language. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle – but discernible – warning signs. Pay attention to the way your date comports himself – and save yourself a lot of trouble!
Many abusers have a specific body language. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle – but discernible – warning signs. Pay attention to the way your date comports himself – and save yourself a lot of trouble!
Abusers are an elusive breed, hard to spot, harder to pinpoint, impossible to capture. Even an experienced mental health diagnostician with unmitigated access to the record and to the person examined would find it fiendishly difficult to determine with any degree of certainty whether someone is being abusive because he suffers from an impairment, i.e., a mental health disorder.
Some abusive behavior patterns are a result of the patient's cultural-social context. The offender seeks to conform to cultural and social morals and norms. Additionally, some people become abusive in reaction to severe life crises.
Still, most abusers master the art of deception. People often find themselves involved with a abuser (emotionally, in business, or otherwise) before they have a chance to discover his real nature. When the abuser reveals his true colors, it is usually far too late. His victims are unable to separate from him. They are frustrated by this acquired helplessness and angry that they failed to see through the abuser earlier on.
But abusers do emit subtle, almost subliminal, signals in his body language even in a first or casual encounter. These are:
"Haughty" body language – The abuser adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness, amused indifference, etc. Though the abuser usually maintains sustained and piercing eye contact, he often refrains from physical proximity (he maintains his personal territory).
The abuser takes part in social interactions – even mere banter – condescendingly, from a position of supremacy and faux "magnanimity and largesse". But even when he feigns gregariousness, he rarely mingles socially and prefers to remain the "observer", or the "lone wolf".
Entitlement markers – The abuser immediately asks for "special treatment" of some kind. Not to wait his turn, to have a longer or a shorter therapeutic session, to talk directly to authority figures (and not to their assistants or secretaries), to be granted special payment terms, to enjoy custom tailored arrangements. This tallies well with the abuser's alloplastic defenses - his tendency to shift responsibility to others, or to the world at large, for his needs, failures, behavior, choices, and mishaps ("look what you made me do!").
The abuser is the one who – vocally and demonstratively – demands the undivided attention of the head waiter in a restaurant, or monopolizes the hostess, or latches on to celebrities in a party. The abuser reacts with rage and indignantly when denied his wishes and if treated the same as others whom he deems inferior. Abusers frequently and embarrassingly "dress down" service providers such as waiters or cab drivers.
Idealization or devaluation – The abuser instantly idealizes or devalues his interlocutor. He flatters, adores, admires and applauds the "target" in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner – or sulks, abuses, and humiliates her.
Abusers are polite only in the presence of a potential would-be victim – a "mate", or a "collaborator". But they are unable to sustain even perfunctory civility and fast deteriorate to barbs and thinly-veiled hostility, to verbal or other violent displays of abuse, rage attacks, or cold detachment.
The "membership" posture – The abuser always tries to "belong". Yet, at the very same time, he maintains his stance as an outsider. The abuser seeks to be admired for his ability to integrate and ingratiate himself without investing the efforts commensurate with such an undertaking.
For instance: if the abuser talks to a psychologist, the abuser first states emphatically that he never studied psychology. He then proceeds to make seemingly effortless use of obscure professional terms, thus demonstrating that he mastered the discipline all the same – which is supposed to prove that he is exceptionally intelligent or introspective.
In general, the abuser always prefers show-off to substance. One of the most effective methods of exposing a abuser is by trying to delve deeper. The abuser is shallow, a pond pretending to be an ocean. He likes to think of himself as a Renaissance man, a Jack of all trades, or a genius. Abusers never admit to ignorance or to failure in any field – yet, typically, they are ignorant and losers. It is surprisingly easy to penetrate the gloss and the veneer of the abuser's self-proclaimed omniscience, success, wealth, and omnipotence.
Bragging and false autobiography – The abuser brags incessantly. His speech is peppered with "I", "my", "myself", and "mine". He describes himself as intelligent, or rich, or modest, or intuitive, or creative – but always excessively, implausibly, and extraordinarily so.
The abuser's biography sounds unusually rich and complex. His achievements – incommensurate with his age, education, or renown. Yet, his actual condition is evidently and demonstrably incompatible with his claims. Very often, the abuser's lies or fantasies are easily discernible. He always name-drops and appropriates other people's experiences and accomplishments as his own.
Emotion-free language – The abuser likes to talk about himself and only about himself. He is not interested in others or what they have to say. He is never reciprocal. He acts disdainful, even angry, if he feels an intrusion on his precious time.
In general, the abuser is very impatient, easily bored, with strong attention deficits – unless and until he is the topic of discussion. One can dissect all aspects of the intimate life of a abuser, providing the discourse is not "emotionally tinted". If asked to relate directly to his emotions, the abuser intellectualizes, rationalizes, speaks about himself in the third person and in a detached "scientific" tone or composes a narrative with a fictitious character in it, suspiciously autobiographical.
Most abusers get enraged when required to delve deeper into their motives, fears, hopes, wishes, and needs. They use violence to cover up their perceived "weakness" and "sentimentality". They distance themselves from their own emotions and from their loved ones by alienating and hurting them.
Seriousness and sense of intrusion and coercion – The abuser is dead serious about himself. He may possess a fabulous sense of humor, scathing and cynical, but rarely is he self-deprecating. The abuser regards himself as being on a constant mission, whose importance is cosmic and whose consequences are global.
If a scientist – he is always in the throes of revolutionizing science. If a journalist – he is in the middle of the greatest story ever. If an aspiring businessman - he is on the way to concluding the deal of the century. Woe betide those who doubt his grandiose fantasies and impossible schemes.
This self-misperception is not amenable to light-headedness or self-effacement. The abuser is easily hurt and insulted (narcissistic injury). Even the most innocuous remarks or acts are interpreted by him as belittling, intruding, or coercive slights and demands. His time is more valuable than others' – therefore, it cannot be wasted on unimportant matters such as social intercourse, family obligations, or household chores. Inevitably, he feels constantly misunderstood.
Any suggested help, advice, or concerned inquiry are immediately cast by the abuser as intentional humiliation, implying that the abuser is in need of help and counsel and, thus, imperfect. Any attempt to set an agenda is, to the abuser, an intimidating act of enslavement. In this sense, the abuser is both schizoid and paranoid and often entertains ideas of reference.
Finally, abusers are sometimes sadistic and have inappropriate affect. In other words, they find the obnoxious, the heinous, and the shocking – funny or even gratifying. They are sexually sado-masochistic or deviant. They like to taunt, to torment, and to hurt people's feelings ("humorously" or with bruising "honesty").
While some abusers are "stable" and "conventional" – others are antisocial and their impulse control is flawed. These are very reckless (self-destructive and self-defeating) and just plain destructive: workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping, or reckless driving.
Yet, these – the lack of empathy, the aloofness, the disdain, the sense of entitlement, the restricted application of humor, the unequal treatment, the sadism, and the paranoia – do not render the abuser a social misfit. This is because the abuser mistreats only his closest – spouse, children, or (much more rarely) colleagues, friends, neighbours. To the rest of the world, he appears to be a composed, rational, and functioning person. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy – often with the active aid of their victims – over their dysfunction and misbehavior.
The abuser mistreats only his closest – spouse, children, or (much more rarely) colleagues, friends, and neighbours. To the rest of the world, he appears to be a composed, rational, and functioning person. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy – often with the active aid of their victims – over their dysfunction and misbehavior.
Read about the abuser's tactics and concealment and manipulation here:
Telling Them Apart
Facilitating Narcissism
This is why the abuser's offending behavior comes as a shock even to his closest, nearest, and dearest.
In the October 2003 issue of the Journal of General Internal Medicine, Dr. Christina Nicolaidis of the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, studied 30 women between the ages of 17 and 54, all survivors of attempted homicide by their intimate partners.
Half of them (14) confessed to have been "completely surprised" by the attack. They did not realize how violent their partner can be and the extent of risk they were continuously exposed to. Yet, all of them were the victims of previous episodes of abuse, including the physical sort. They could easily have predicted that an attempt to end the relationship would result in an attack on body and property.
"If I had talked to some of these women before the attack, I would have counseled them about the domestic violence, but I would not have necessarily felt that their lives were in danger," Nicolaidis told Reuters – "Now I am more careful to warn any woman who has experienced intimate partner violence about the risk to her life, especially around the time that the relationship is ending".
Secrecy is a major weapon in the abuser's arsenal. Many batterers maintain a double life and keep it a well-guarded secret. Others show one face – benign, even altruistic – to an admiring world and another – ominous and aggressive – at home. All abusers insist on keeping the abuse confidential, safe from prying eyes and ears.
The victims collaborate in this cruel game through cognitive dissonance and traumatic bonding. They rationalize the abuser's behavior, attributing it to incompatibility, mental health problems, temporary setbacks or circumstances, a bad relationship, or substance abuse. Many victims feel guilty. They have been convinced by the offender that they are to blame for his misconduct ("you see what you made me do!", "you constantly provoke me!").
Others re-label the abuse and attribute it to the batterer's character idiosyncrasies. It is explained away as the sad outcome of a unique upbringing, childhood abuse, or passing events. Abusive incidents are recast as rarities, an abnormality, few and far between, not as bad as they appear to be, understandable outbursts, justified temper tantrums, childish manifestations, a tolerable price to pay for an otherwise wonderful relationship.
When is a woman's life at risk?
Nicolaidis Reuters: "Classic risk factors for an attempted homicide by an intimate partner include escalating episodes or severity of violence, threats with or use of weapons, alcohol or drug use, and violence toward children."
Yet, this list leaves out ambient abuse – the stealth, subtle, underground currents of maltreatment that sometimes go unnoticed even by the victims themselves. Until it is too late.
By: Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse7.html
Copyright Notice
This material is copyrighted. Free, unrestricted use is allowed on a non commercial basis.
The author's name and a link to this Website must be incorporated in any reproduction of the material for any use and by any means.
Write to me: palma@unet.com.mk or narcissisticabuse-owner@yahoogroups.com
Is there anything you can do to avoid abusers and narcissists to start with? Are there any warning signs, any identifying marks, rules of thumb to shield you from the harrowing and traumatic experience of an abusive relationship?
Imagine a first or second date. You can already tell if he is a would-be abuser. Here's how:
Perhaps the first telltale sign is the abuser's alloplastic defenses – his tendency to blame every mistake of his, every failure, or mishap on others, or on the world at large. Be tuned: does he assume personal responsibility? Does he admit his faults and miscalculations? Or does he keep blaming you, the cab driver, the waiter, the weather, the government, or fortune for his predicament?
Is he hypersensitive, picks up fights, feels constantly slighted, injured, and insulted? Does he rant incessantly? Does he treat animals and children impatiently or cruelly and does he express negative and aggressive emotions towards the weak, the poor, the needy, the sentimental, and the disabled? Does he confess to having a history of battering or violent offenses or behavior? Is his language vile and infused with expletives, threats, and hostility?
Next thing: is he too eager? Does he push you to marry him having dated you only twice? Is he planning on having children on your first date? Does he immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life? Is he pressing you for exclusivity, instant intimacy, almost rapes you and acts jealous when you as much as cast a glance at another male? Does he inform you that, once you get hitched, you should abandon your studies or resign your job (forgo your personal autonomy)?
Does he respect your boundaries and privacy? Does he ignore your wishes (for instance, by choosing from the menu or selecting a movie without as much as consulting you)? Does he disrespect your boundaries and treats you as an object or an instrument of gratification (materializes on your doorstep unexpectedly or calls you often prior to your date)? Does he go through your personal belongings while waiting for you to get ready?
Does he control the situation and you compulsively? Does he insist to ride in his car, holds on to the car keys, the money, the theater tickets, and even your bag? Does he disapprove if you are away for too long (for instance when you go to the powder room)? Does he interrogate you when you return ("have you seen anyone interesting") – or make lewd "jokes" and remarks? Does he hint that, in future, you would need his permission to do things – even as innocuous as meeting a friend or visiting with your family?
Does he act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticizes you often? Does he emphasize your minutest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealizes you)? Is he wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general?
Does he tell you constantly that you "make him feel" good? Don't be impressed. Next thing, he may tell you that you "make" him feel bad, or that you make him feel violent, or that you "provoke" him. "Look what you made me do!" is an abuser's ubiquitous catchphrase.
Does he find sadistic sex exciting? Does he have fantasies of rape or pedophilia? Is he too forceful with you in and out of the sexual intercourse? Does he like hurting you physically or finds it amusing? Does he abuse you verbally – does he curse you, demeans you, calls you ugly or inappropriately diminutive names, or persistently criticizes you? Does he then switch to being saccharine and "loving", apologizes profusely and buys you gifts?
If you have answered "yes" to any of the above – stay away! He is an abuser.
Then there is the abuser's body language. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle – but discernible – warning signs. Pay attention to the way your date comports himself – and save yourself a lot of trouble!
Many abusers have a specific body language. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle – but discernible – warning signs. Pay attention to the way your date comports himself – and save yourself a lot of trouble!
Abusers are an elusive breed, hard to spot, harder to pinpoint, impossible to capture. Even an experienced mental health diagnostician with unmitigated access to the record and to the person examined would find it fiendishly difficult to determine with any degree of certainty whether someone is being abusive because he suffers from an impairment, i.e., a mental health disorder.
Some abusive behavior patterns are a result of the patient's cultural-social context. The offender seeks to conform to cultural and social morals and norms. Additionally, some people become abusive in reaction to severe life crises.
Still, most abusers master the art of deception. People often find themselves involved with a abuser (emotionally, in business, or otherwise) before they have a chance to discover his real nature. When the abuser reveals his true colors, it is usually far too late. His victims are unable to separate from him. They are frustrated by this acquired helplessness and angry that they failed to see through the abuser earlier on.
But abusers do emit subtle, almost subliminal, signals in his body language even in a first or casual encounter. These are:
"Haughty" body language – The abuser adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness, amused indifference, etc. Though the abuser usually maintains sustained and piercing eye contact, he often refrains from physical proximity (he maintains his personal territory).
The abuser takes part in social interactions – even mere banter – condescendingly, from a position of supremacy and faux "magnanimity and largesse". But even when he feigns gregariousness, he rarely mingles socially and prefers to remain the "observer", or the "lone wolf".
Entitlement markers – The abuser immediately asks for "special treatment" of some kind. Not to wait his turn, to have a longer or a shorter therapeutic session, to talk directly to authority figures (and not to their assistants or secretaries), to be granted special payment terms, to enjoy custom tailored arrangements. This tallies well with the abuser's alloplastic defenses - his tendency to shift responsibility to others, or to the world at large, for his needs, failures, behavior, choices, and mishaps ("look what you made me do!").
The abuser is the one who – vocally and demonstratively – demands the undivided attention of the head waiter in a restaurant, or monopolizes the hostess, or latches on to celebrities in a party. The abuser reacts with rage and indignantly when denied his wishes and if treated the same as others whom he deems inferior. Abusers frequently and embarrassingly "dress down" service providers such as waiters or cab drivers.
Idealization or devaluation – The abuser instantly idealizes or devalues his interlocutor. He flatters, adores, admires and applauds the "target" in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner – or sulks, abuses, and humiliates her.
Abusers are polite only in the presence of a potential would-be victim – a "mate", or a "collaborator". But they are unable to sustain even perfunctory civility and fast deteriorate to barbs and thinly-veiled hostility, to verbal or other violent displays of abuse, rage attacks, or cold detachment.
The "membership" posture – The abuser always tries to "belong". Yet, at the very same time, he maintains his stance as an outsider. The abuser seeks to be admired for his ability to integrate and ingratiate himself without investing the efforts commensurate with such an undertaking.
For instance: if the abuser talks to a psychologist, the abuser first states emphatically that he never studied psychology. He then proceeds to make seemingly effortless use of obscure professional terms, thus demonstrating that he mastered the discipline all the same – which is supposed to prove that he is exceptionally intelligent or introspective.
In general, the abuser always prefers show-off to substance. One of the most effective methods of exposing a abuser is by trying to delve deeper. The abuser is shallow, a pond pretending to be an ocean. He likes to think of himself as a Renaissance man, a Jack of all trades, or a genius. Abusers never admit to ignorance or to failure in any field – yet, typically, they are ignorant and losers. It is surprisingly easy to penetrate the gloss and the veneer of the abuser's self-proclaimed omniscience, success, wealth, and omnipotence.
Bragging and false autobiography – The abuser brags incessantly. His speech is peppered with "I", "my", "myself", and "mine". He describes himself as intelligent, or rich, or modest, or intuitive, or creative – but always excessively, implausibly, and extraordinarily so.
The abuser's biography sounds unusually rich and complex. His achievements – incommensurate with his age, education, or renown. Yet, his actual condition is evidently and demonstrably incompatible with his claims. Very often, the abuser's lies or fantasies are easily discernible. He always name-drops and appropriates other people's experiences and accomplishments as his own.
Emotion-free language – The abuser likes to talk about himself and only about himself. He is not interested in others or what they have to say. He is never reciprocal. He acts disdainful, even angry, if he feels an intrusion on his precious time.
In general, the abuser is very impatient, easily bored, with strong attention deficits – unless and until he is the topic of discussion. One can dissect all aspects of the intimate life of a abuser, providing the discourse is not "emotionally tinted". If asked to relate directly to his emotions, the abuser intellectualizes, rationalizes, speaks about himself in the third person and in a detached "scientific" tone or composes a narrative with a fictitious character in it, suspiciously autobiographical.
Most abusers get enraged when required to delve deeper into their motives, fears, hopes, wishes, and needs. They use violence to cover up their perceived "weakness" and "sentimentality". They distance themselves from their own emotions and from their loved ones by alienating and hurting them.
Seriousness and sense of intrusion and coercion – The abuser is dead serious about himself. He may possess a fabulous sense of humor, scathing and cynical, but rarely is he self-deprecating. The abuser regards himself as being on a constant mission, whose importance is cosmic and whose consequences are global.
If a scientist – he is always in the throes of revolutionizing science. If a journalist – he is in the middle of the greatest story ever. If an aspiring businessman - he is on the way to concluding the deal of the century. Woe betide those who doubt his grandiose fantasies and impossible schemes.
This self-misperception is not amenable to light-headedness or self-effacement. The abuser is easily hurt and insulted (narcissistic injury). Even the most innocuous remarks or acts are interpreted by him as belittling, intruding, or coercive slights and demands. His time is more valuable than others' – therefore, it cannot be wasted on unimportant matters such as social intercourse, family obligations, or household chores. Inevitably, he feels constantly misunderstood.
Any suggested help, advice, or concerned inquiry are immediately cast by the abuser as intentional humiliation, implying that the abuser is in need of help and counsel and, thus, imperfect. Any attempt to set an agenda is, to the abuser, an intimidating act of enslavement. In this sense, the abuser is both schizoid and paranoid and often entertains ideas of reference.
Finally, abusers are sometimes sadistic and have inappropriate affect. In other words, they find the obnoxious, the heinous, and the shocking – funny or even gratifying. They are sexually sado-masochistic or deviant. They like to taunt, to torment, and to hurt people's feelings ("humorously" or with bruising "honesty").
While some abusers are "stable" and "conventional" – others are antisocial and their impulse control is flawed. These are very reckless (self-destructive and self-defeating) and just plain destructive: workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping, or reckless driving.
Yet, these – the lack of empathy, the aloofness, the disdain, the sense of entitlement, the restricted application of humor, the unequal treatment, the sadism, and the paranoia – do not render the abuser a social misfit. This is because the abuser mistreats only his closest – spouse, children, or (much more rarely) colleagues, friends, neighbours. To the rest of the world, he appears to be a composed, rational, and functioning person. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy – often with the active aid of their victims – over their dysfunction and misbehavior.
The abuser mistreats only his closest – spouse, children, or (much more rarely) colleagues, friends, and neighbours. To the rest of the world, he appears to be a composed, rational, and functioning person. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy – often with the active aid of their victims – over their dysfunction and misbehavior.
Read about the abuser's tactics and concealment and manipulation here:
Telling Them Apart
Facilitating Narcissism
This is why the abuser's offending behavior comes as a shock even to his closest, nearest, and dearest.
In the October 2003 issue of the Journal of General Internal Medicine, Dr. Christina Nicolaidis of the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, studied 30 women between the ages of 17 and 54, all survivors of attempted homicide by their intimate partners.
Half of them (14) confessed to have been "completely surprised" by the attack. They did not realize how violent their partner can be and the extent of risk they were continuously exposed to. Yet, all of them were the victims of previous episodes of abuse, including the physical sort. They could easily have predicted that an attempt to end the relationship would result in an attack on body and property.
"If I had talked to some of these women before the attack, I would have counseled them about the domestic violence, but I would not have necessarily felt that their lives were in danger," Nicolaidis told Reuters – "Now I am more careful to warn any woman who has experienced intimate partner violence about the risk to her life, especially around the time that the relationship is ending".
Secrecy is a major weapon in the abuser's arsenal. Many batterers maintain a double life and keep it a well-guarded secret. Others show one face – benign, even altruistic – to an admiring world and another – ominous and aggressive – at home. All abusers insist on keeping the abuse confidential, safe from prying eyes and ears.
The victims collaborate in this cruel game through cognitive dissonance and traumatic bonding. They rationalize the abuser's behavior, attributing it to incompatibility, mental health problems, temporary setbacks or circumstances, a bad relationship, or substance abuse. Many victims feel guilty. They have been convinced by the offender that they are to blame for his misconduct ("you see what you made me do!", "you constantly provoke me!").
Others re-label the abuse and attribute it to the batterer's character idiosyncrasies. It is explained away as the sad outcome of a unique upbringing, childhood abuse, or passing events. Abusive incidents are recast as rarities, an abnormality, few and far between, not as bad as they appear to be, understandable outbursts, justified temper tantrums, childish manifestations, a tolerable price to pay for an otherwise wonderful relationship.
When is a woman's life at risk?
Nicolaidis Reuters: "Classic risk factors for an attempted homicide by an intimate partner include escalating episodes or severity of violence, threats with or use of weapons, alcohol or drug use, and violence toward children."
Yet, this list leaves out ambient abuse – the stealth, subtle, underground currents of maltreatment that sometimes go unnoticed even by the victims themselves. Until it is too late.
more warning signs of an abuser
Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality
It is sometimes possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently or are about to become involved with being abusive. Below are a list of behaviours and traits which are common in abusive personalities. These are commonly known as Warning Signs.
While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence. In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things).
Often the abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.
Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
Controlling Behaviour
Controlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behaviour gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalise you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.
Quick Involvement
Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself to him/her.
Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfil all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
Isolation
The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications.
Blame-shifting for Problems
Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem. If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother. They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get him. He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to.
Blame-shifting for Feelings
The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behaviour or attitude toward him/her. He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. Feelings may be used to manipulate you, i.e. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect. Statements such as 'You make me happy' or 'You make me feel good about myself' are also signs that the abuser feels you are responsible for his sense of well-being. Either way, you become in his/her mind the cause of good and bad feelings and are therefore responsible for his/her emotional well-being and happiness. Consequently, you are also to blame for any negative feelings such as anger, upset or depression.
Hypersensitivity
Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks. They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices. They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves (e.g. blue wallpaper rather than pink, etc.).
Cruelty to Animals
The abuser may punishes animals brutally, be insensitive to their pain or suffering, or neglect to care for the animals to the point of cruelty, e.g. not feeding them all day, leaving them in areas he/she knows will cause them suffering or distress. There is a strong correlation between cruelty to animals and domestic violence which is still being researched. (For more information and personal experiences, see Domestic Violence and Cruelty to Animals.)
Cruelty to Children
The abusers unrealistic expectations of their partner are often mirrored in their attitude toward children. He/she will think of children as 'small adults' and blame the children for not being responsible, having common sense or understanding. He/she may expect children to be capable far beyond their ability (e.g. is angry with a two-year old for wetting their pants or being sick on the carpet, waking at night or being upset by nightmares) and will often meet out punishments for 'naughtiness' the child could not be aware of. Abusers may tease children until they cry, or punish children way beyond what could be deemed appropriate. He/she may not want children to eat at the table, expect them to stay quiet, or keep to their room all evening while he/she is at home. Since abusers want all your attention themselves, they resent your spending time with the children or any normal demands and needs the children may have. As above (cruelty to animals), there is a very strong link between Domestic Violence and Child Abuse.
'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He/she may pressurise you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
Rigid Gender Roles
Abusers usually believe in stereotypical gender roles. A man may expect a woman to serve him; stay at home, obey him in all things - even things that are criminal in nature. A male abuser will often see women as inferior to men, more stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship. Female abusers may expect the man to provide for them entirely, shift the responsibility for her well-being onto him or heckle him as being 'not a real man' if he shows any weakness or emotion.
Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him/her. He/she may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde
Very rarely do abusers conform to the stereotypical image of a constantly harsh, nasty or violent person, either in public or in private. More frequently the abuser portrays a perfectly normal and pleasant picture to the outside world (often they have responsible jobs or are respected and important members of the local community or Church) and reserves the abuse for you in the privacy of your own home. Nor are abusers always overtly abusive or cruel, but can display apparent kindness and consideration. This Jeckyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser serves to further confuse the victim, while protecting themselves from any form of suspicion from outsiders. Many victims describe "sudden" changes in mood - one minute nice and the next explosive or hysterical, or one minute happy and the next minute sad. This does not indicate some special "mental problem" but are typical of abusive personalities, and related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
Drink or Substance Abuse
While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse. The link between substance abuse and domestic abuse is still being researched, and it is apparent that while neither alcohol nor drugs necessarily cause violence, they do increase the risk of violence. (See What about alcohol and domestic abuse?)
History of Battering or Sexual Violence
Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur. If at all possible, try to speak to their previous girlfriends.
Negative Attitude toward Women
Some men may tell you that you are different to all the women they have known before, who display a lack of respect of women generally or who talk negatively and disrespectfully of their previous wives or girlfriends. They may tell you that you are special, not like the others and that they consider themselves to be the luckiest man alive to have found the last decent woman. It is not likely to be long before they remember that you are a woman and don't deserve their respect.
Threatening Violence
This would obviously include any threat of physical force such as "If you speak to him/her again, I'll kill you", or "If any wife of mine acted like John's did, I'd give her a right seeing to". Threats are designed to manipulate and control you, to keep you in your place and prevent you making your own decisions. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behaviour by saying "everybody talks like that.", maintaining he/she is only saying this because the relationship or you are so important to him/her, tell you you're "over-sensitive" for being upset by such threats, or obviously want to hurt him/her. Threats can also be less overt, such as "If you leave me, I will kill myself", or "You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn't live without you".
Breaking or Striking Objects
The abusive person may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don't need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalising you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behaviour on to you, but is actually used to terrorise you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them.
Any Force during an Argument
An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility.
The above list was prepared with reference to
A Guide to recognizing Behaviors of Abusive persons, Cheektowaga Police Department, (link no longer active - sorry!)
Signs To Look For In A Battering Personality, free2bme2k, (link no longer active - sorry!)
my own experiences, and those of other survivors of DV with whom I have had the privilege of discussing this topic.
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm
It is sometimes possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently or are about to become involved with being abusive. Below are a list of behaviours and traits which are common in abusive personalities. These are commonly known as Warning Signs.
While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence. In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things).
Often the abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.
Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
Controlling Behaviour
Controlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behaviour gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalise you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.
Quick Involvement
Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself to him/her.
Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfil all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
Isolation
The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications.
Blame-shifting for Problems
Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem. If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother. They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get him. He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to.
Blame-shifting for Feelings
The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behaviour or attitude toward him/her. He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. Feelings may be used to manipulate you, i.e. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect. Statements such as 'You make me happy' or 'You make me feel good about myself' are also signs that the abuser feels you are responsible for his sense of well-being. Either way, you become in his/her mind the cause of good and bad feelings and are therefore responsible for his/her emotional well-being and happiness. Consequently, you are also to blame for any negative feelings such as anger, upset or depression.
Hypersensitivity
Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks. They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices. They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves (e.g. blue wallpaper rather than pink, etc.).
Cruelty to Animals
The abuser may punishes animals brutally, be insensitive to their pain or suffering, or neglect to care for the animals to the point of cruelty, e.g. not feeding them all day, leaving them in areas he/she knows will cause them suffering or distress. There is a strong correlation between cruelty to animals and domestic violence which is still being researched. (For more information and personal experiences, see Domestic Violence and Cruelty to Animals.)
Cruelty to Children
The abusers unrealistic expectations of their partner are often mirrored in their attitude toward children. He/she will think of children as 'small adults' and blame the children for not being responsible, having common sense or understanding. He/she may expect children to be capable far beyond their ability (e.g. is angry with a two-year old for wetting their pants or being sick on the carpet, waking at night or being upset by nightmares) and will often meet out punishments for 'naughtiness' the child could not be aware of. Abusers may tease children until they cry, or punish children way beyond what could be deemed appropriate. He/she may not want children to eat at the table, expect them to stay quiet, or keep to their room all evening while he/she is at home. Since abusers want all your attention themselves, they resent your spending time with the children or any normal demands and needs the children may have. As above (cruelty to animals), there is a very strong link between Domestic Violence and Child Abuse.
'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He/she may pressurise you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
Rigid Gender Roles
Abusers usually believe in stereotypical gender roles. A man may expect a woman to serve him; stay at home, obey him in all things - even things that are criminal in nature. A male abuser will often see women as inferior to men, more stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship. Female abusers may expect the man to provide for them entirely, shift the responsibility for her well-being onto him or heckle him as being 'not a real man' if he shows any weakness or emotion.
Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him/her. He/she may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde
Very rarely do abusers conform to the stereotypical image of a constantly harsh, nasty or violent person, either in public or in private. More frequently the abuser portrays a perfectly normal and pleasant picture to the outside world (often they have responsible jobs or are respected and important members of the local community or Church) and reserves the abuse for you in the privacy of your own home. Nor are abusers always overtly abusive or cruel, but can display apparent kindness and consideration. This Jeckyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser serves to further confuse the victim, while protecting themselves from any form of suspicion from outsiders. Many victims describe "sudden" changes in mood - one minute nice and the next explosive or hysterical, or one minute happy and the next minute sad. This does not indicate some special "mental problem" but are typical of abusive personalities, and related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
Drink or Substance Abuse
While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse. The link between substance abuse and domestic abuse is still being researched, and it is apparent that while neither alcohol nor drugs necessarily cause violence, they do increase the risk of violence. (See What about alcohol and domestic abuse?)
History of Battering or Sexual Violence
Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur. If at all possible, try to speak to their previous girlfriends.
Negative Attitude toward Women
Some men may tell you that you are different to all the women they have known before, who display a lack of respect of women generally or who talk negatively and disrespectfully of their previous wives or girlfriends. They may tell you that you are special, not like the others and that they consider themselves to be the luckiest man alive to have found the last decent woman. It is not likely to be long before they remember that you are a woman and don't deserve their respect.
Threatening Violence
This would obviously include any threat of physical force such as "If you speak to him/her again, I'll kill you", or "If any wife of mine acted like John's did, I'd give her a right seeing to". Threats are designed to manipulate and control you, to keep you in your place and prevent you making your own decisions. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behaviour by saying "everybody talks like that.", maintaining he/she is only saying this because the relationship or you are so important to him/her, tell you you're "over-sensitive" for being upset by such threats, or obviously want to hurt him/her. Threats can also be less overt, such as "If you leave me, I will kill myself", or "You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn't live without you".
Breaking or Striking Objects
The abusive person may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don't need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalising you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behaviour on to you, but is actually used to terrorise you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them.
Any Force during an Argument
An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility.
The above list was prepared with reference to
A Guide to recognizing Behaviors of Abusive persons, Cheektowaga Police Department, (link no longer active - sorry!)
Signs To Look For In A Battering Personality, free2bme2k, (link no longer active - sorry!)
my own experiences, and those of other survivors of DV with whom I have had the privilege of discussing this topic.
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm
warning signs of an abuser
http://www.mvwcs.com/redflag.html
Domestic Violence
Warning Signs of an Abuser
Before an abuser starts physically assaulting his victim, he typically demonstrates his abusive tactics through certain behaviors. The following are five major warning signs and some common examples:
Charm
Abusers can be very charming. In the beginning, they may seem to be Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armor. He can be very engaging, thoughtful, considerate and charismatic. He may use that charm to gain very personal information about her. He will use that information later to his advantage.
For example; he will ask if she has ever been abused by anyone. If she says, "yes", he will act outraged that anyone could treat a woman that way. Then when he becomes abusive, he will tell her no one will believe her because she said that before and it must be her fault or two people would not have hit her.
Another example; he may find out she experimented with drugs in her past. He will then threaten that if she tells anyone about the abuse he will report her as a drug abuser and she will lose her children. The threat to take away her children is one of the most common threats abusers use to maintain power and control over their victims.
Isolation
Abusers isolate their victims geographically and socially. Geographic isolation includes moving the victim from her friends, family and support system (often hundreds of miles); moving frequently in the same area and/or relocating to a rural area.
Social isolation usually begins with wanting the woman to spend time with him and not her family, friends or co-workers. He will then slowly isolate her from any person who is a support to her. He dictates whom she can talk to; he tells her she cannot have contact with her friends or family.
Jealousy
Jealousy is a tool abusers use to control the victim. He constantly accuses her of having affairs. If she goes to the grocery store, he accuses her of having an affair with the grocery clerk. If she goes to the bank, he accuses her of having an affair with the bank teller. Abusers routinely call their victims whores or sluts.
Emotional Abuse
The goal of emotional abuse is to destroy the victim's self-esteem. He blames her for his violence, puts her down, calls her names and makes threats against her. Over time, she no longer believes she deserves to be treated with respect and she blames herself for his violence. For some survivors of domestic violence, the emotional abuse may be more difficult to heal from than the physical abuse.
Control
Abusers are very controlled and very controlling people. In time, the abuser will control every aspect of the victim's life: where she goes, how she wears her hair, what clothes she wears, whom she talks to. He will control the money and access to money. Abusers are also very controlled people. While they appear to go into a rage or be out of control we know they are very much in control of their behavior.
The following are the reasons we know his behaviors are not about anger and rage:
He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
Domestic Violence
Warning Signs of an Abuser
Before an abuser starts physically assaulting his victim, he typically demonstrates his abusive tactics through certain behaviors. The following are five major warning signs and some common examples:
Charm
Abusers can be very charming. In the beginning, they may seem to be Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armor. He can be very engaging, thoughtful, considerate and charismatic. He may use that charm to gain very personal information about her. He will use that information later to his advantage.
For example; he will ask if she has ever been abused by anyone. If she says, "yes", he will act outraged that anyone could treat a woman that way. Then when he becomes abusive, he will tell her no one will believe her because she said that before and it must be her fault or two people would not have hit her.
Another example; he may find out she experimented with drugs in her past. He will then threaten that if she tells anyone about the abuse he will report her as a drug abuser and she will lose her children. The threat to take away her children is one of the most common threats abusers use to maintain power and control over their victims.
Isolation
Abusers isolate their victims geographically and socially. Geographic isolation includes moving the victim from her friends, family and support system (often hundreds of miles); moving frequently in the same area and/or relocating to a rural area.
Social isolation usually begins with wanting the woman to spend time with him and not her family, friends or co-workers. He will then slowly isolate her from any person who is a support to her. He dictates whom she can talk to; he tells her she cannot have contact with her friends or family.
Jealousy
Jealousy is a tool abusers use to control the victim. He constantly accuses her of having affairs. If she goes to the grocery store, he accuses her of having an affair with the grocery clerk. If she goes to the bank, he accuses her of having an affair with the bank teller. Abusers routinely call their victims whores or sluts.
Emotional Abuse
The goal of emotional abuse is to destroy the victim's self-esteem. He blames her for his violence, puts her down, calls her names and makes threats against her. Over time, she no longer believes she deserves to be treated with respect and she blames herself for his violence. For some survivors of domestic violence, the emotional abuse may be more difficult to heal from than the physical abuse.
Control
Abusers are very controlled and very controlling people. In time, the abuser will control every aspect of the victim's life: where she goes, how she wears her hair, what clothes she wears, whom she talks to. He will control the money and access to money. Abusers are also very controlled people. While they appear to go into a rage or be out of control we know they are very much in control of their behavior.
The following are the reasons we know his behaviors are not about anger and rage:
He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
Abuse and abusers
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Jeanne Phillips: Dear Abby
Behavior patterns betray abuser's urge to control
Dear Readers: Yesterday I printed the feedback I received regarding "Smothered in Michigan," a recently divorced mother of two. Her ex-husband had been an alcoholic. She's now dating his "polar opposite" who "treats her like a queen" and is "loving, affectionate, generous and caring."
She went on to say he stops by her job "only a few" times a day, and the minute she's home he shows up at her door. All her dinners are with him -- he pays for everything -- and he doesn't leave until her kids go to bed. He spends every waking hour with her and accompanies her wherever she goes. She said she knows she should feel grateful, but instead feels "indebted, stalked, controlled and burdened."
I told her she and the man were overdue for a frank talk about personal space.
Classic warning signs of an abuser
1. Pushes for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser presses for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. Jealous: Excessively possessive; calls constantly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.
3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate.
5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or try to keep you from holding a job.
6. Blames others for problems or mistakes: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.
7. Makes others responsible for his or her feelings: The abuser says, "You make me angry," or "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."
8. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.
9. Cruelty to animals or children: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability. Sixty- five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.
10. "Playful" use of force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex.
11. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.
12. Rigid gender roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
14. Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it.
15. Threats of violence: Says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," then dismisses them with "I didn't really mean it."
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby .com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
http://detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071219/OPINION03/712190387
Jeanne Phillips: Dear Abby
Behavior patterns betray abuser's urge to control
Dear Readers: Yesterday I printed the feedback I received regarding "Smothered in Michigan," a recently divorced mother of two. Her ex-husband had been an alcoholic. She's now dating his "polar opposite" who "treats her like a queen" and is "loving, affectionate, generous and caring."
She went on to say he stops by her job "only a few" times a day, and the minute she's home he shows up at her door. All her dinners are with him -- he pays for everything -- and he doesn't leave until her kids go to bed. He spends every waking hour with her and accompanies her wherever she goes. She said she knows she should feel grateful, but instead feels "indebted, stalked, controlled and burdened."
I told her she and the man were overdue for a frank talk about personal space.
Classic warning signs of an abuser
1. Pushes for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser presses for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. Jealous: Excessively possessive; calls constantly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.
3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate.
5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or try to keep you from holding a job.
6. Blames others for problems or mistakes: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.
7. Makes others responsible for his or her feelings: The abuser says, "You make me angry," or "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."
8. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.
9. Cruelty to animals or children: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability. Sixty- five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.
10. "Playful" use of force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex.
11. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.
12. Rigid gender roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
14. Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it.
15. Threats of violence: Says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," then dismisses them with "I didn't really mean it."
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby .com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
http://detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071219/OPINION03/712190387
Historical Etiquette
Q: What about historic etiquette appropriate to the time period of an event? To what degree should we attempt to emulate it?
A: The culture(s), and thus the manners and expectations of persons in the seventeenth, eighteenth and nineteenth centuries were very different than our own. We live in a world which seems increasingly bent toward cultural and philosophical egalitarianism, with a very blurred sense of morality where individualism is emphasized and expressed even to the point of the detriment of society and responsibility toward others is often dimly perceived if at all.
Our ancestors lived in a very different type of environment. It really is difficult to appreciate this without attempting immersion into the thinking and experiences of the times through first-person accounts such as diaries, autobiographies and letters. Music, period books, speeches and documents are also helpful. Visits to historic homes, battlefields, churches and cultural sites can add a visual element to which one might imaginatively apply the sense gained from other sources.
My opinion is that most modern movies, television, books, etc. which attempt to portray other eras do so through the generally obvious filter of present day thinking. "Historical" dramatizations in the media are often remarkably "dumbed down" and/or tend to create "good" characters which are politically and culturally “correct” (by modern liberal standards) or "bad" characters which are abominably “incorrect.” Whether the motive be marketing, ignorance or outright propaganda, the result is inauthentic. It simply isn't history.
But authenticity, at times, may be a real eye opener, demythologizing incorrect perceptions and assumptions and/or jarring modern sensibilities. As an example, it may not be surprising that an accurate portrayal of the thinking of a typical mid-nineteenth century woman would likely be foreign and probably even offensive to modern day liberal views. But conservatives might have some surprises too, applauding the classic feminine virtues such as grace, charm, good manners and devotion to family but not comprehending that ideals of femininity were perhaps also behind a few strange (to us) points of etiquette and the often low cut (by our standards) bodices seen in 18th and 19th century paintings.
The great questions and conflicts of other times also require looking beyond simple modern labels which may be politically motivated. The idea that most person on either side of the Civil War "fought over slavery" would be just one such example easily dispersed by just a little effort at study which would cause one to discover so much more in terms of complexity and causes. Modern iconoclasm too has taken a toll and has slung mud falsely on many a noble character. Attempting to honestly study and understand people within the context of their times can bring much to light - rather than stepping in with modern arrogance and looking for someone to pass judgment upon.
There is much for us to learn. So whatever our modern philosophical leanings may be we ought to be willing to discover the people of the past for who they really were.
More to the point of our Balls, it is necessary to remember that dances were social experiences. The idea was to circulate and enjoy the company of others. This is difficult for some to understand because many have grown up with very different ideas of dancing and gender interaction. Most of us remember high school dances where we looked around for the best looking girls (or guys) and often refused unacceptable persons. Much was dependent upon appearance and a perception of status. (To this day you may view a dance as an enjoyable activity or as something to avoid depending on who you were and how you fit in as an adolescent!) While the same sort of motivations may have been present to a degree even then; custom, culture, religion, manners, traditions, expectations and social mores all formed a person to think and act in a different direction. Among the assembled throng of a Ball would have been old and young as well as homely and beautiful, but from the perspective of social responsibility all that was irrelevant. A gentleman had a responsibility to dance with a variety of ladies and a lady generally had the responsibility to dance with a gentleman if asked. These were not primarily couple events but social events and in the context of the group dances of the time you will sooner or later swing, turn or join hands with everyone – not just your actual partner.
In Europe, the royalty and nobility still held a higher status which carried over to special recognition (precedence) and treatment (deference) at all social events. In democratic-minded America it was considered that during the course of a Ball all present were on an equal social footing. The host (and/or hostess) would receive respect due to position and service and a visiting dignitary might be briefly acknowledged and honored, but by and large all would be considered as equals - at least for the evening. Thus a general’s wife would not refuse to dance with a lieutenant based on his lower military rank nor would a United States Senator need refrain from asking a dance of a bonnet maker.
(One of the many things that were different then was the fact that the dance master and musicians were considered hired help and were not usually recognized or applauded. However, at our events we consider it good manners to acknowledge a job well done.)
We desire to reenact to some degree the experience of a historic Ball but we realize that our culture today is different, that a number of newcomers will usually be present, that even knowledgeable history and dance buffs are still learning and that our interest is in creating an atmosphere that includes rather than excludes so that all can enjoy, experience and learn together. Therefore I desire these Balls to be such that complete novices feel welcome, accepted and not overburdened while at the same time veterans are thoroughly enjoying themselves as well. With that in mind, those who desire to carry out period etiquette to the fullest are welcome to do so. However, for the majority allow me to put forward the following list of suggestions that I think all could easily abide by.
(The etiquette of the times is typed normally with my suggestions following in italics.)
1. Gentlemen (including married men) were expected to always have an eye open for unattached ladies so that an inquiry could be made as to whether the lady would like to dance. Thus no lady who desired to join in would have been abandoned to be a wallflower.
Gentlemen, we expect that all will cheerfully do their duty in this regard.
2. Ladies in those times did not typically ask gentlemen to dance nor did anyone dance with a person whom they did not know or had not been properly introduced to.
We waive these customs knowing that not all gentlemen are acquainted with their responsibilities enumerated in #1 and also in the interest of all being able to join in the dancing as often as they may desire.
3. When a gentleman asked a lady to dance she was generally expected to agree unless one of two situations applied. Either (A) she had already been engaged for that particular dance by another gentleman or (B) she was sitting that particular dance out. To refuse one gentleman and then accept another for the very same dance was the height of bad manners and was considered an insult not only to the first gentleman who asked but to the host of the Ball as well, the implication being that the man was unworthy and that therefore the host was unworthy for having allowed the man to participate.
We ask that ladies maintain this custom unless the man in question has (God forbid) behaved in a crude or offensive manner. (If such were ever the case, your host would like to know of it immediately.) We also make exception if you are a married lady who isn’t comfortable with a partner other than your husband. (See #4 below.) But if you are willing to dance with some others then good manners would suggest that you should be willing to dance with all others.
4. Believe it or not, in the 18th and 19th centuries it was considered very rude for couples to dance together more than two or three times in an evening! Why? Because dances were social events not couple events and there was an obligation to mix and participate.
We waive this rule because our culture is so different today and it would make many married couples (particularly newcomers) to feel very awkward. However, we encourage all who are willing to dance, mingle and interact, remembering the social obligations of ladies and gentlemen.
5. In 18th and 19th century ballrooms, men danced with women and women danced with men. The one exception was that it was sometimes permissible for ladies to dance with other ladies if there were a serious shortage of gentlemen.
(Group dancing was so much a part of the fabric of American culture and social life that during the Civil War bored soldiers in camp would hold Balls outside, even in freezing weather and even with no ladies present. Of course this was not a ballroom situation but it does help to illustrate that dancing in that period was such a universal recreation and a social rather than a sensual event.)
We hold to the historic ballroom practice while allowing (if need be) for the one historic exception.
6. Dances were held of every size imaginable from small family gatherings to immense events with a thousand guests or more. They also ranged from the informal "hoe down" to the royal "court" ball. Dress and manners would have varied with time, place and the nature of the occasion. An aristocrat would have dressed very well at a ball held by one of his peers but not as extravagantly as he would for court occasions. A modest farmer's wife might have danced in her work clothes at home but would have worn her "Sunday best" to the town dance. Decent people of all classes would have dressed and behaved with the respect due to others as per their social circumstances.
As we have an interest in a range of historical impressions we do not generally request that those in period attire dress as per a certain social category. But out of respect and a desire not to interrupt the atmosphere of the event we require that those who attend these balls in modern attire dress at least at a semiformal level. No historic man would have considered attending such an event without jacket and neckwear and neither shall we. Likewise, no lady would have attended without a long gown. But some things do change along the way. For instance, 17th & 18th century men often wore hats while dancing but by the 19th century this would have been unacceptable.
7. The world of the 18th and 19th centuries was not nearly as "leveled" or "democratized" as it is today in the 21st century. There were definite social classes which were easily recognized by marks of attire, speech and behavior. Many groups rarely or never engaged on a social level. Generally speaking, social classes would have mixed far more in the latter 19th century than in the early 18th and far more in America than in Europe.
Again, as we have an interest in a range of historical impressions we generally welcome people to engage in interpretations of a social level they are comfortable presenting. There are creative means of being inclusive. For instance at a Ball for Regency era English aristocrats there might be Americans or French present for diplomatic or business reasons. At the Royal Governor's Colonial Ball the gentleman in question naturally desires to become acquainted with the nature of the provincials he has just arrived to govern. At a Civil War Ball the patriotic fervor of the moment has a mellowing effect on the already softening distinctions of class in America.
8. What about "modesty"? One of the questions that often comes up when we hold workshops or seminars on historic fashion is in regards to the low cut bodices of former eras. To the historically uninitiated this is sometimes a shocking fact as there is occasionally a wrong assumption that the farther back one goes in time the less skin one will see. The very word "modesty" would have generally brought an entirely different range of thoughts to mind to an 18th century person than to a person today - but I digress - and that would be a large enough topic of conversation all on its own. Let us return to the practical side of the question. The fact is, how much skin - and what skin - could be put in public view by a lady of good upbringing and morals has been a rather changing phenomena that has had its highs and lows (quite literally) throughout the last several centuries. Attitudes have shifted in a wave like pattern. This has been true even in the microcosm of pop culture of the 20th century. The 1920s were far more revealing than the 1940s. The late '60s and '70s showed a great deal of skin and then the '80s and early '90s considerably less. Skin returned again in the late '90s.
Regarding historic fashions, modern ladies uncomfortable with low necklines may easily adapt patterns upwards to taste or make use of accessories offering extra coverage such as a fichu. But beware of harshness regarding your ancestors. As shocked as you may be by their low necklines they would be FAR more shocked to see modern ladies going about in pants and (gasp) shorts! A tasteful 18th century lady with a low (by our standards) neckline saw herself as making a very natural statement of femininity, declaring her gender - but she would never have dreamed of exposing her legs to public view!
8. To criticize another for their clothing or dancing ability was out of the question for an historic lady or gentleman.
Everyone, regardless of dancing ability is welcome. Likewise those who attempt an historic look are encouraged and their efforts will be applauded. Those who wear modern evening attire are also welcome and respected but modern casual wear is not appropriate. Need I mention how many have attended a We Make History Ball once or twice in a prom gown or bridesmaid's dress, found the sincere welcome and the level of grace and respect to be incredibly appealing, and then gone on to have a fine wardrobe of beautiful historic attire?
9. Basic, all around good manners and respect for people and property were expected.
Sir, madame and other appropriate titles should be used as well as please and thank you. Bows and curtseys are good form when being introduced or before or after a dance. Compliments and encouragement are signs of grace and respect toward those in the process of acquiring historic style clothing and toward those learning to dance.
Conversations between gentlemen on volatile subjects such as Jefferson’s embargo against Britain or the Presidential race of 1860 may be animated and passionate but never crude or base.
We attract a very gracious, higher class group of ladies and gentlemen to our events. All are expected to behave with the manners, decorum, tastefulness, grace, respect and gratitude appropriate to gentility. This high level of respect and gentility is expected not only in person or on the ballroom floor but also in communications such as email.
If there were ever a circumstance when harassment, threats, coarse comments or other obnoxious behavior were displayed such a person would be told to leave and would no longer be welcome. The same would apply to anyone exhibiting the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs.
Smoking is not permitted during these events as the policies of We Make History as well as those of our venues forbid it. Due to the nature of the beautiful wooden dance floors we utilize, spurs cannot be worn nor should historic footwear have exposed nails or other parts which could cause damage. Photography is welcome if discretion is exercised and permission is granted by the subjects. However we do not permit videotaping or recording (other than an occasional "house" videographer) as it is impolite to do so without permission of the host and musicians, not to mention that it only takes a few video cameras to create a distraction and begin detracting from the ambience we work so hard to create.
http://www.wemakehistory.com/Etiquette/Etiquette.htm
A: The culture(s), and thus the manners and expectations of persons in the seventeenth, eighteenth and nineteenth centuries were very different than our own. We live in a world which seems increasingly bent toward cultural and philosophical egalitarianism, with a very blurred sense of morality where individualism is emphasized and expressed even to the point of the detriment of society and responsibility toward others is often dimly perceived if at all.
Our ancestors lived in a very different type of environment. It really is difficult to appreciate this without attempting immersion into the thinking and experiences of the times through first-person accounts such as diaries, autobiographies and letters. Music, period books, speeches and documents are also helpful. Visits to historic homes, battlefields, churches and cultural sites can add a visual element to which one might imaginatively apply the sense gained from other sources.
My opinion is that most modern movies, television, books, etc. which attempt to portray other eras do so through the generally obvious filter of present day thinking. "Historical" dramatizations in the media are often remarkably "dumbed down" and/or tend to create "good" characters which are politically and culturally “correct” (by modern liberal standards) or "bad" characters which are abominably “incorrect.” Whether the motive be marketing, ignorance or outright propaganda, the result is inauthentic. It simply isn't history.
But authenticity, at times, may be a real eye opener, demythologizing incorrect perceptions and assumptions and/or jarring modern sensibilities. As an example, it may not be surprising that an accurate portrayal of the thinking of a typical mid-nineteenth century woman would likely be foreign and probably even offensive to modern day liberal views. But conservatives might have some surprises too, applauding the classic feminine virtues such as grace, charm, good manners and devotion to family but not comprehending that ideals of femininity were perhaps also behind a few strange (to us) points of etiquette and the often low cut (by our standards) bodices seen in 18th and 19th century paintings.
The great questions and conflicts of other times also require looking beyond simple modern labels which may be politically motivated. The idea that most person on either side of the Civil War "fought over slavery" would be just one such example easily dispersed by just a little effort at study which would cause one to discover so much more in terms of complexity and causes. Modern iconoclasm too has taken a toll and has slung mud falsely on many a noble character. Attempting to honestly study and understand people within the context of their times can bring much to light - rather than stepping in with modern arrogance and looking for someone to pass judgment upon.
There is much for us to learn. So whatever our modern philosophical leanings may be we ought to be willing to discover the people of the past for who they really were.
More to the point of our Balls, it is necessary to remember that dances were social experiences. The idea was to circulate and enjoy the company of others. This is difficult for some to understand because many have grown up with very different ideas of dancing and gender interaction. Most of us remember high school dances where we looked around for the best looking girls (or guys) and often refused unacceptable persons. Much was dependent upon appearance and a perception of status. (To this day you may view a dance as an enjoyable activity or as something to avoid depending on who you were and how you fit in as an adolescent!) While the same sort of motivations may have been present to a degree even then; custom, culture, religion, manners, traditions, expectations and social mores all formed a person to think and act in a different direction. Among the assembled throng of a Ball would have been old and young as well as homely and beautiful, but from the perspective of social responsibility all that was irrelevant. A gentleman had a responsibility to dance with a variety of ladies and a lady generally had the responsibility to dance with a gentleman if asked. These were not primarily couple events but social events and in the context of the group dances of the time you will sooner or later swing, turn or join hands with everyone – not just your actual partner.
In Europe, the royalty and nobility still held a higher status which carried over to special recognition (precedence) and treatment (deference) at all social events. In democratic-minded America it was considered that during the course of a Ball all present were on an equal social footing. The host (and/or hostess) would receive respect due to position and service and a visiting dignitary might be briefly acknowledged and honored, but by and large all would be considered as equals - at least for the evening. Thus a general’s wife would not refuse to dance with a lieutenant based on his lower military rank nor would a United States Senator need refrain from asking a dance of a bonnet maker.
(One of the many things that were different then was the fact that the dance master and musicians were considered hired help and were not usually recognized or applauded. However, at our events we consider it good manners to acknowledge a job well done.)
We desire to reenact to some degree the experience of a historic Ball but we realize that our culture today is different, that a number of newcomers will usually be present, that even knowledgeable history and dance buffs are still learning and that our interest is in creating an atmosphere that includes rather than excludes so that all can enjoy, experience and learn together. Therefore I desire these Balls to be such that complete novices feel welcome, accepted and not overburdened while at the same time veterans are thoroughly enjoying themselves as well. With that in mind, those who desire to carry out period etiquette to the fullest are welcome to do so. However, for the majority allow me to put forward the following list of suggestions that I think all could easily abide by.
(The etiquette of the times is typed normally with my suggestions following in italics.)
1. Gentlemen (including married men) were expected to always have an eye open for unattached ladies so that an inquiry could be made as to whether the lady would like to dance. Thus no lady who desired to join in would have been abandoned to be a wallflower.
Gentlemen, we expect that all will cheerfully do their duty in this regard.
2. Ladies in those times did not typically ask gentlemen to dance nor did anyone dance with a person whom they did not know or had not been properly introduced to.
We waive these customs knowing that not all gentlemen are acquainted with their responsibilities enumerated in #1 and also in the interest of all being able to join in the dancing as often as they may desire.
3. When a gentleman asked a lady to dance she was generally expected to agree unless one of two situations applied. Either (A) she had already been engaged for that particular dance by another gentleman or (B) she was sitting that particular dance out. To refuse one gentleman and then accept another for the very same dance was the height of bad manners and was considered an insult not only to the first gentleman who asked but to the host of the Ball as well, the implication being that the man was unworthy and that therefore the host was unworthy for having allowed the man to participate.
We ask that ladies maintain this custom unless the man in question has (God forbid) behaved in a crude or offensive manner. (If such were ever the case, your host would like to know of it immediately.) We also make exception if you are a married lady who isn’t comfortable with a partner other than your husband. (See #4 below.) But if you are willing to dance with some others then good manners would suggest that you should be willing to dance with all others.
4. Believe it or not, in the 18th and 19th centuries it was considered very rude for couples to dance together more than two or three times in an evening! Why? Because dances were social events not couple events and there was an obligation to mix and participate.
We waive this rule because our culture is so different today and it would make many married couples (particularly newcomers) to feel very awkward. However, we encourage all who are willing to dance, mingle and interact, remembering the social obligations of ladies and gentlemen.
5. In 18th and 19th century ballrooms, men danced with women and women danced with men. The one exception was that it was sometimes permissible for ladies to dance with other ladies if there were a serious shortage of gentlemen.
(Group dancing was so much a part of the fabric of American culture and social life that during the Civil War bored soldiers in camp would hold Balls outside, even in freezing weather and even with no ladies present. Of course this was not a ballroom situation but it does help to illustrate that dancing in that period was such a universal recreation and a social rather than a sensual event.)
We hold to the historic ballroom practice while allowing (if need be) for the one historic exception.
6. Dances were held of every size imaginable from small family gatherings to immense events with a thousand guests or more. They also ranged from the informal "hoe down" to the royal "court" ball. Dress and manners would have varied with time, place and the nature of the occasion. An aristocrat would have dressed very well at a ball held by one of his peers but not as extravagantly as he would for court occasions. A modest farmer's wife might have danced in her work clothes at home but would have worn her "Sunday best" to the town dance. Decent people of all classes would have dressed and behaved with the respect due to others as per their social circumstances.
As we have an interest in a range of historical impressions we do not generally request that those in period attire dress as per a certain social category. But out of respect and a desire not to interrupt the atmosphere of the event we require that those who attend these balls in modern attire dress at least at a semiformal level. No historic man would have considered attending such an event without jacket and neckwear and neither shall we. Likewise, no lady would have attended without a long gown. But some things do change along the way. For instance, 17th & 18th century men often wore hats while dancing but by the 19th century this would have been unacceptable.
7. The world of the 18th and 19th centuries was not nearly as "leveled" or "democratized" as it is today in the 21st century. There were definite social classes which were easily recognized by marks of attire, speech and behavior. Many groups rarely or never engaged on a social level. Generally speaking, social classes would have mixed far more in the latter 19th century than in the early 18th and far more in America than in Europe.
Again, as we have an interest in a range of historical impressions we generally welcome people to engage in interpretations of a social level they are comfortable presenting. There are creative means of being inclusive. For instance at a Ball for Regency era English aristocrats there might be Americans or French present for diplomatic or business reasons. At the Royal Governor's Colonial Ball the gentleman in question naturally desires to become acquainted with the nature of the provincials he has just arrived to govern. At a Civil War Ball the patriotic fervor of the moment has a mellowing effect on the already softening distinctions of class in America.
8. What about "modesty"? One of the questions that often comes up when we hold workshops or seminars on historic fashion is in regards to the low cut bodices of former eras. To the historically uninitiated this is sometimes a shocking fact as there is occasionally a wrong assumption that the farther back one goes in time the less skin one will see. The very word "modesty" would have generally brought an entirely different range of thoughts to mind to an 18th century person than to a person today - but I digress - and that would be a large enough topic of conversation all on its own. Let us return to the practical side of the question. The fact is, how much skin - and what skin - could be put in public view by a lady of good upbringing and morals has been a rather changing phenomena that has had its highs and lows (quite literally) throughout the last several centuries. Attitudes have shifted in a wave like pattern. This has been true even in the microcosm of pop culture of the 20th century. The 1920s were far more revealing than the 1940s. The late '60s and '70s showed a great deal of skin and then the '80s and early '90s considerably less. Skin returned again in the late '90s.
Regarding historic fashions, modern ladies uncomfortable with low necklines may easily adapt patterns upwards to taste or make use of accessories offering extra coverage such as a fichu. But beware of harshness regarding your ancestors. As shocked as you may be by their low necklines they would be FAR more shocked to see modern ladies going about in pants and (gasp) shorts! A tasteful 18th century lady with a low (by our standards) neckline saw herself as making a very natural statement of femininity, declaring her gender - but she would never have dreamed of exposing her legs to public view!
8. To criticize another for their clothing or dancing ability was out of the question for an historic lady or gentleman.
Everyone, regardless of dancing ability is welcome. Likewise those who attempt an historic look are encouraged and their efforts will be applauded. Those who wear modern evening attire are also welcome and respected but modern casual wear is not appropriate. Need I mention how many have attended a We Make History Ball once or twice in a prom gown or bridesmaid's dress, found the sincere welcome and the level of grace and respect to be incredibly appealing, and then gone on to have a fine wardrobe of beautiful historic attire?
9. Basic, all around good manners and respect for people and property were expected.
Sir, madame and other appropriate titles should be used as well as please and thank you. Bows and curtseys are good form when being introduced or before or after a dance. Compliments and encouragement are signs of grace and respect toward those in the process of acquiring historic style clothing and toward those learning to dance.
Conversations between gentlemen on volatile subjects such as Jefferson’s embargo against Britain or the Presidential race of 1860 may be animated and passionate but never crude or base.
We attract a very gracious, higher class group of ladies and gentlemen to our events. All are expected to behave with the manners, decorum, tastefulness, grace, respect and gratitude appropriate to gentility. This high level of respect and gentility is expected not only in person or on the ballroom floor but also in communications such as email.
If there were ever a circumstance when harassment, threats, coarse comments or other obnoxious behavior were displayed such a person would be told to leave and would no longer be welcome. The same would apply to anyone exhibiting the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs.
Smoking is not permitted during these events as the policies of We Make History as well as those of our venues forbid it. Due to the nature of the beautiful wooden dance floors we utilize, spurs cannot be worn nor should historic footwear have exposed nails or other parts which could cause damage. Photography is welcome if discretion is exercised and permission is granted by the subjects. However we do not permit videotaping or recording (other than an occasional "house" videographer) as it is impolite to do so without permission of the host and musicians, not to mention that it only takes a few video cameras to create a distraction and begin detracting from the ambience we work so hard to create.
http://www.wemakehistory.com/Etiquette/Etiquette.htm
New writers' blog
From: writerscorner1@yahoogroups.com on behalf of Alicia T Rasley (rasley@juno.com)
Sent: Tue 12/18/07 10:07 AM
To: writerscorner1@yahoogroups.com
Another editor and I have started a new blog. We're just going to blog about general prose and plot issues we come across in editing, trying to demystify the mostly intuitive job of editing a book.
It can be found here: http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/
It's still a work in progress to some degree, but that didn't stop us from posting about one of our pet peeves
already. :)
If you find the blog useful, please feel free to tell your writing friends about it. We reckon we'll update
a few times a week between the two of us, circumstances permitting.
Thanks! Alicia
Sent: Tue 12/18/07 10:07 AM
To: writerscorner1@yahoogroups.com
Another editor and I have started a new blog. We're just going to blog about general prose and plot issues we come across in editing, trying to demystify the mostly intuitive job of editing a book.
It can be found here: http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/
It's still a work in progress to some degree, but that didn't stop us from posting about one of our pet peeves
already. :)
If you find the blog useful, please feel free to tell your writing friends about it. We reckon we'll update
a few times a week between the two of us, circumstances permitting.
Thanks! Alicia
Jumpstart your creativity
TUESDAY, JANUARY 24, 2006
Jumpstart your creativity
Excellent book: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne, Dave King
Linda Clare, February 2002
What Is Creativity?
Three Elements Of Creativity
I. A. Nonjudgment—put the inner editor away while you are in the creating stage of our project
II. Commitment—day each of us decides how to spend our time
III. In order to put forth a new idea, you must be willing to take the risk that others may not like it.
Where Does Creativity Come From?
IV. God is the original creative Guy. Colossians 1:6 says, “In Him all things were created.”
V. In Genesis God created heaven and earth, stocked the skies with stars and the world with plants and animals, and even made people in His own likeness.
VI. Jesus gave us with the Holy Spirit to not only help us in our spiritual life, but also as a source to tap into for all our creative energy. (Luke 12: 12) “The Holy Spirit will teach you what words to say.” Romans 8—The Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
What’s the Best way to Smother Your Creativity?
1 .Tell yourself you’re not original (Eccles. 1:19) “...there is nothing new under heaven and earth.”
2.The da Vinci Complex—comparing yourself to a known genius so you feel too puny to have a good idea.
3.Worry about what others will think. Or fear that your friends and family will disapprove, your mom won’t speak to you and even that your dog might shun you.
4. Worry you won’t make money or enough money from your creative endeavor. When money is your motive, you’re behind the eight-ball and you lose freedom to think creatively. This isn’t to say that some of the best writing doesn’t come while under pressure. But if your sole motivation is to write in order to pay the bills, you may not be very inspired.
So How Can You Renew Your Creative Energy?
Write At Absolute TOP SPEED—Make a commitment to write. If you talk about writing, read about writing, go to writing meetings but you don’t write very much, your creative energy gets used up in the wrong places. Write. Write every day as much as you can. When you are STALLED, take baby steps. Are you sure you’ll never be able to write anything creative again? Write one sentence. Not the whole novel, article or story. Just one sentence. Now go nurture that quiet voice that wants to create.
Tell The Critical Voice To Shush
When you create your inner editor will try to interfere. So will daily activities and many other distractions. Don’t let that critical voice slow you down. Don’t be afraid to waste words—we’ll make more! The potter knows that he can always make another pot. Learn to love the process. Even if you throw away a whole day’s work, you’re that much closer to refining your ideas and you’ve dared to explore new ways of writing.
Exercise Your Mind And Body
When you are uptight, self-conscious and fearful, it shows in your body and in your writing. Stretch at your desk to loosen up tense muscles and think positively about your God-given talents.
TAKE A RISK Try to have fun with it! Learn the value of play: Jung said, “The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” Jean Huston said, “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” Dare to be goofy now and then.
Write With Passion If you don’t care much about what you write no one else will care either. By writing from deep within, you will be more likely to grab your readers. In The Creative Brain, Ned Herrman says, “Creative people live as if there were no tomorrow, which is part of what enables them to be passionate about today.”
Plug Into The “Source” Daily. A great friend of mine has observed that, “The universe was created with words.” Ask God every day for the words you need.
Creativity Workshop Quotes
Painting is just another way of keeping a diary. --Pablo Picasso
At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. --Jean Houston
The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves. --C.G. Jung
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he/she grows up. --Pablo Picasso
The mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible. --Oscar Wilde
We have, been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic. --Susan Jeffers
To live our creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. --Joseph Chilton Pearce
Labels: quotations, writing
POSTED BY NATALIE MARIE KLEIN @ 8:40 PM links to this post
Jumpstart your creativity
Excellent book: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne, Dave King
Linda Clare, February 2002
What Is Creativity?
Three Elements Of Creativity
I. A. Nonjudgment—put the inner editor away while you are in the creating stage of our project
II. Commitment—day each of us decides how to spend our time
III. In order to put forth a new idea, you must be willing to take the risk that others may not like it.
Where Does Creativity Come From?
IV. God is the original creative Guy. Colossians 1:6 says, “In Him all things were created.”
V. In Genesis God created heaven and earth, stocked the skies with stars and the world with plants and animals, and even made people in His own likeness.
VI. Jesus gave us with the Holy Spirit to not only help us in our spiritual life, but also as a source to tap into for all our creative energy. (Luke 12: 12) “The Holy Spirit will teach you what words to say.” Romans 8—The Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
What’s the Best way to Smother Your Creativity?
1 .Tell yourself you’re not original (Eccles. 1:19) “...there is nothing new under heaven and earth.”
2.The da Vinci Complex—comparing yourself to a known genius so you feel too puny to have a good idea.
3.Worry about what others will think. Or fear that your friends and family will disapprove, your mom won’t speak to you and even that your dog might shun you.
4. Worry you won’t make money or enough money from your creative endeavor. When money is your motive, you’re behind the eight-ball and you lose freedom to think creatively. This isn’t to say that some of the best writing doesn’t come while under pressure. But if your sole motivation is to write in order to pay the bills, you may not be very inspired.
So How Can You Renew Your Creative Energy?
Write At Absolute TOP SPEED—Make a commitment to write. If you talk about writing, read about writing, go to writing meetings but you don’t write very much, your creative energy gets used up in the wrong places. Write. Write every day as much as you can. When you are STALLED, take baby steps. Are you sure you’ll never be able to write anything creative again? Write one sentence. Not the whole novel, article or story. Just one sentence. Now go nurture that quiet voice that wants to create.
Tell The Critical Voice To Shush
When you create your inner editor will try to interfere. So will daily activities and many other distractions. Don’t let that critical voice slow you down. Don’t be afraid to waste words—we’ll make more! The potter knows that he can always make another pot. Learn to love the process. Even if you throw away a whole day’s work, you’re that much closer to refining your ideas and you’ve dared to explore new ways of writing.
Exercise Your Mind And Body
When you are uptight, self-conscious and fearful, it shows in your body and in your writing. Stretch at your desk to loosen up tense muscles and think positively about your God-given talents.
TAKE A RISK Try to have fun with it! Learn the value of play: Jung said, “The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” Jean Huston said, “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” Dare to be goofy now and then.
Write With Passion If you don’t care much about what you write no one else will care either. By writing from deep within, you will be more likely to grab your readers. In The Creative Brain, Ned Herrman says, “Creative people live as if there were no tomorrow, which is part of what enables them to be passionate about today.”
Plug Into The “Source” Daily. A great friend of mine has observed that, “The universe was created with words.” Ask God every day for the words you need.
Creativity Workshop Quotes
Painting is just another way of keeping a diary. --Pablo Picasso
At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. --Jean Houston
The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves. --C.G. Jung
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he/she grows up. --Pablo Picasso
The mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible. --Oscar Wilde
We have, been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic. --Susan Jeffers
To live our creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. --Joseph Chilton Pearce
Labels: quotations, writing
POSTED BY NATALIE MARIE KLEIN @ 8:40 PM links to this post
101 Fun Romantic Date Ideas
A date at your favorite coffee shop
A date at the local park
A romantic picnic date
A date to a baseball game
A romantic afternoon walk together
A date to fly a kite together
A date at the beach on a sunny day
A putt-putt golf date
A horseback riding date
A canoing date
A date to a soccer game
A romantic camping trip date
A date to a classic car show
A date to the local spa to pamper each other
A date to the local zoo
A date running a marathon or jogging together
A date at a high-class cocktail lounge or restaurant
A date to test-drive new cars together
A date to a volleyball game
A date to learn to para-sail together
A date cooking a romantic meal together
A date to meet each other’s family members
A date at the local museum
A date to the county fair
A birdwatching date
A date to pick fruit together at a local orchard
A date to take your kids, nieces or nephews to the park
A roller-blading or rollerskating date
A date to a football game
A date to tour new homes together
A date to learn to scuba dive together
A date to carve pumpkins together for Halloween
A date to the local flea market
A date to ride a romantic ferris wheel together
A date to look at flowers at the local greenhouse
A date to watch a romantic DVD or video together at home
A date to go on a hiking trip together
A date to play a round at the local golf course
A romantic dinner date at a four-star restaurant
A whitewater rafting date
A date to window shop at a nice shopping center
A date to go fishing together
A date to a basketball game
A date to a local art gallery
A date to color eggs together for Easter
A romantic tour of local historic places
A date to build a snowman together
A date at the first place you ever went out together
A date to a local air-show
A rock-climbing date
A date at the local mall arcade to play games together
A date to buy ice-cream on a hot day
A date to go to your local comedy club for some laughs
A date to pick wildflowers together
A date to tour local college campuses
A date to a hockey game
A date to an aquarium
A date to go boating together on a nice, clear day
A date to learn surfing together at the beach
A date to a play or a live stage show
The classic “dinner and a movie” date
A romantic afternoon sharing old pictures from your childhood
A date to the planetarium or science center
A date to a carnival
An afternoon sightseeing drive on a nice day
A date to a batting cage
A romantic ride in a horse-drawn carriage
A date to your local bookstore
A date to the pet store to pick out a pet together
A date to a boxing match
A date to the gym to exercise together
A date to a karaoke bar for some singing
A date to build a sandcastle together at the beach
A date to wash your cars together
A date to the horse-racing track
A date to your local pool or swimming hole
A go-cart riding date
A date to a romantic movie
A date to go shopping for new clothes together
A date to a downtown nightclub or dance club
A date to walk your dogs together
A date to a stock car race
A date to go target shooting or a shooting range together
A date to read to each other at the park on a nice day
An overnight date at a nearby bed-and-breakfast
A date to a local antique shop
A romantic sledding date on a snowy day
A date to a wishing well to make wishes together
A date to a wrestling match
A date to a local winery
A date to go bungee jumping together
A date to a friend or family member’s wedding
A date to local garage sales to go treasure hunting
A hunting date
A date to go skydiving together
A date to listen to the symphony together
A romantic hot air balloon ride
A date to play Frisbee together at the park
A date to a local amusement park to ride roller coasters
A date to a rock concert
A date to the casino to learn a new game together
A date at the local park
A romantic picnic date
A date to a baseball game
A romantic afternoon walk together
A date to fly a kite together
A date at the beach on a sunny day
A putt-putt golf date
A horseback riding date
A canoing date
A date to a soccer game
A romantic camping trip date
A date to a classic car show
A date to the local spa to pamper each other
A date to the local zoo
A date running a marathon or jogging together
A date at a high-class cocktail lounge or restaurant
A date to test-drive new cars together
A date to a volleyball game
A date to learn to para-sail together
A date cooking a romantic meal together
A date to meet each other’s family members
A date at the local museum
A date to the county fair
A birdwatching date
A date to pick fruit together at a local orchard
A date to take your kids, nieces or nephews to the park
A roller-blading or rollerskating date
A date to a football game
A date to tour new homes together
A date to learn to scuba dive together
A date to carve pumpkins together for Halloween
A date to the local flea market
A date to ride a romantic ferris wheel together
A date to look at flowers at the local greenhouse
A date to watch a romantic DVD or video together at home
A date to go on a hiking trip together
A date to play a round at the local golf course
A romantic dinner date at a four-star restaurant
A whitewater rafting date
A date to window shop at a nice shopping center
A date to go fishing together
A date to a basketball game
A date to a local art gallery
A date to color eggs together for Easter
A romantic tour of local historic places
A date to build a snowman together
A date at the first place you ever went out together
A date to a local air-show
A rock-climbing date
A date at the local mall arcade to play games together
A date to buy ice-cream on a hot day
A date to go to your local comedy club for some laughs
A date to pick wildflowers together
A date to tour local college campuses
A date to a hockey game
A date to an aquarium
A date to go boating together on a nice, clear day
A date to learn surfing together at the beach
A date to a play or a live stage show
The classic “dinner and a movie” date
A romantic afternoon sharing old pictures from your childhood
A date to the planetarium or science center
A date to a carnival
An afternoon sightseeing drive on a nice day
A date to a batting cage
A romantic ride in a horse-drawn carriage
A date to your local bookstore
A date to the pet store to pick out a pet together
A date to a boxing match
A date to the gym to exercise together
A date to a karaoke bar for some singing
A date to build a sandcastle together at the beach
A date to wash your cars together
A date to the horse-racing track
A date to your local pool or swimming hole
A go-cart riding date
A date to a romantic movie
A date to go shopping for new clothes together
A date to a downtown nightclub or dance club
A date to walk your dogs together
A date to a stock car race
A date to go target shooting or a shooting range together
A date to read to each other at the park on a nice day
An overnight date at a nearby bed-and-breakfast
A date to a local antique shop
A romantic sledding date on a snowy day
A date to a wishing well to make wishes together
A date to a wrestling match
A date to a local winery
A date to go bungee jumping together
A date to a friend or family member’s wedding
A date to local garage sales to go treasure hunting
A hunting date
A date to go skydiving together
A date to listen to the symphony together
A romantic hot air balloon ride
A date to play Frisbee together at the park
A date to a local amusement park to ride roller coasters
A date to a rock concert
A date to the casino to learn a new game together
Timeline
November 18, 1883
Railroads create the first time zones
At exactly noon on this day, American and Canadian railroads begin using four continental time zones to end the confusion of dealing with thousands of local times. The bold move was emblematic of the power shared by the railroad companies.
The need for continental time zones stemmed directly from the problems of moving passengers and freight over the thousands of miles of rail line that covered North America by the 1880s. Since human beings had first begun keeping track of time, they set their clocks to the local movement of the sun. Even as late as the 1880s, most towns in the U.S. had their own local time, generally based on "high noon," or the time when the sun was at its highest point in the sky. As railroads began to shrink the travel time between cities from days or months to mere hours, however, these local times became a scheduling nightmare. Railroad timetables in major cities listed dozens of different arrival and departure times for the same train, each linked to a different local time zone.
Efficient rail transportation demanded a more uniform time-keeping system. Rather than turning to the federal governments of the United States and Canada to create a North American system of time zones, the powerful railroad companies took it upon themselves to create a new time code system. The companies agreed to divide the continent into four time zones; the dividing lines adopted were very close to the ones we still use today.
Most Americans and Canadians quickly embraced their new time zones, since railroads were often their lifeblood and main link with the rest of the world. However, it was not until 1918 that Congress officially adopted the railroad time zones and put them under the supervision of the Interstate Commerce Commission.
November 18, 1886
Chester Arthur dies in New York
On this day in 1886, former President Chester Alan Arthur succumbs to complications from a debilitating and fatal kidney ailment known as Bright’s Disease. In the words of former President Rutherford B. Hayes, Arthur’s term as president was most notable for "liquor, snobbery and worse." Although he had been ambitious as a young man, he was considered by many of his contemporaries to have been a lazy and "foppish" president.
The precocious and bright young Arthur wanted to become a lawyer and enrolled in Union College in New York at the age of 15. He later supported himself by teaching school while he earned his law degree. In 1848, he went to work as a lawyer in New York City. During the Civil War, he served as quartermaster general for the state of New York, overseeing the purchase of supplies for the state’s military depots. His political career began when Ulysses S. Grant appointed him port collector for New York’s harbors in 1871. Arthur’s penchant for staffing his office with Republican political cronies resulted in his firing by President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1878. After being chosen as James Garfield’s vice-presidential running mate in 1880, Arthur decided to straighten up his act and denounced the political patronage system. The campaign was successful.
That same year, Arthur’s beloved wife Ellen became ill and lapsed into a coma. Arthur was away in upstate New York when he was notified of her illness, but had returned to be by her side by the time of her death. In March 1881, Arthur’s close friend and boss, President James Garfield, was shot by a crazed assassin named Charles Guiteau. Garfield lingered for four months, leaving Arthur’s political role in limbo. Just as Garfield appeared to be on the verge of recovery, though, he took a turn for the worse, finally succumbing to his wounds on September 2, and thrusting Arthur into presidency.
Some historians have suggested that the lethargy Arthur displayed as president was in fact the result of his struggle with Bright’s Disease. Also called nephritis, the disease causes the degeneration of kidney cells, swelling, high blood pressure and, eventually, kidney failure. It can be brought on by infection. (Arthur had reportedly picked up a case of malaria while vacationing in Florida in 1882.) His doctors diagnosed the disease in 1882 but kept it secret since it was not in an advanced stage.
In addition to being considered a lazy administrator, Arthur’s lifestyle apart from politics was perceived by many as frivolous. It was suggested in some social circles that Arthur’s heavy drinking and eating was his way of alleviating his heartbreak over his wife’s death. Arthur served only one term from 1881 to 1885 and upon retirement returned to his home in New York. He never remarried. After leaving the White House, his battle with Bright’s Disease turned critical. He passed away on November 18, 1886.
Roller Skating
Roller-skating was introduced in 1863, and it was quickly made fashionable by the elite of New York City. The 1870’ rinks with hard maple had built floors in nearly every town and city. By paying an admission fee of twenty-five or fifty cents, men, women, and children could participate in races, fancy skating, or dancing on skates. Special skating dresses, which allowed more freedom of movement, became popular by the 1870’. Indicative of the extent of the craze was this wry comment by the editors of Harper’sweekly, in the form of a potential gravestone inscription for a departed skater:
Our Jane has climbed the golden stair
And passed the jasper gates;
Henceforth she will have wings to wear,
Instead of roller skates.
The popularity of roller skating waned by the 1890’s, but like ice skating it helped lead to more freedom in dress and behavior for women.
Industrial Inventions of the Victorian Era
1819 Scotland - Thomas Hancock and Charles Macintosh invent a waterproof material.
1821 London - The electric motor is invented by British scientist Michael Faraday. Though trained in Chemistry he took an interest in electricity and took the discovery of Oersted that the flow of electricity through a wire produces a magnetic field around the wire.
1823 Britain - William Ellis invents the game of Rugby
1823 Manchester - Charles Macintosh invents the waterproof raincoat which comes to be known as a "Mac"
1825 The first railway in the world designed for steam locomotives begins operations in England. With construction beginning in 1821, it was primarily the design of George Stephenson.
1827 John Dalton of England develops the first atomic theory, published in his New System of Chemical Philosophy.
1833 Charles Babbage invents the Analytical Engine in England. It is the world's first programmable "calculator".
1836 Isaac Pitman develops the written language of shorthand in Bath.
1874 The game of Tennis is invented in England by Major Wingfield though it is considered a "ladies game".
1884 The machine gun is invented by Maxim in London.
December 5, 1873
The Boston Belfry Murderer kills his first victim
Bridget Landregan is found beaten and strangled to death in the Boston suburb of Dorchester. According to witnesses, a man in black clothes and a flowing cape attempted to sexually assault the dead girl before running away. In 1874, a man fitting the same description clubbed another young girl, Mary Sullivan, to death. His third victim, Mary Tynan, was bludgeoned in her bed in 1875. Although she survived for a year after the severe attack, she was never able to identify her attacker.
Residents of Boston were shocked to learn that the killer had been among them all along. Thomas Piper, the sexton at the Warren Avenue Baptist Church, was known for his flowing black cape, but because he was friendly with the parishioners, nobody suspected his involvement. But when five-year-old Mabel Young, who was last seen with the sexton, was found dead in the church's belfry in the summer of 1876, Piper became the prime suspect. Young's skull had been crushed with a wooden club.
Piper, who was dubbed "The Boston Belfry Murderer," confessed to the four killings after his arrest. He was convicted and sentenced to die, and he was hanged in 1876.
November 26, 1872
The Great Diamond Hoax is exposed
The Great Diamond Hoax, one of the most notorious mining swindles of the time, is exposed with an article in the San Francisco Evening Bulletin.
Fraudulent gold and silver mines were common in the years following the California Gold Rush of 1849. Swindlers fooled many eager greenhorns by "salting" worthless mines with particles of gold dust to make them appear mineral-rich. However, few con men were as daring as Kentucky cousins Philip Arnold and John Slack, who convinced San Francisco capitalists to invest in a worthless mine in the northwestern corner of Colorado.
Arnold and Slack played their con perfectly. They arrived in San Francisco in 1872 and tried to deposit a bag of uncut diamonds at a bank. When questioned, the two men quickly disappeared, acting as if they were reluctant to talk about their discovery. Intrigued, a bank director named William Ralston tracked down the men. Assuming he was dealing with unsophisticated country bumpkins, he set out to take control of the diamond mine. The two cousins agreed to take a blindfolded mining expert to the site; the expert returned to report that the mine was indeed rich with diamonds and rubies.
Joining forces with a number of other prominent San Francisco financiers, Ralston formed the New York Mining and Commercial Company, capitalized at $10 million, and began selling stock to eager investors. As a show of good faith, Arnold and Slack received about $600,000-small change in comparison to the supposed value of the diamond mine. Convinced that the American West must have many other major deposits of diamonds, at least 25 other diamond exploration companies formed in the subsequent months.
Clarence King, the then-little-known young leader of a geographical survey of the 40th parallel, finally exposed the cousins' diamond mine as a hoax. A brilliant geologist and mining engineer, King was suspicious of the mine from the start. He correctly deduced the location of the supposed mine, raced off to investigate, and soon realized that the swindlers had salted the mine--some of the gems he found even showed jewelers-cut marks.
Back in San Francisco, King exposed the fraud in the newspapers and the Great Diamond Hoax collapsed. Ralston returned $80,000 to each of his investors, but he was never able to recover the $600,000 given to the two cousins. Arnold lived out the few remaining years of his life in luxury in Kentucky before dying of pneumonia in 1878. Slack apparently squandered his share of the money, for he was last reported working as a coffin maker in New Mexico. King's role in exposing the fraud brought him national recognition--he became the first director of the United States Geological Survey.
Railroads create the first time zones
At exactly noon on this day, American and Canadian railroads begin using four continental time zones to end the confusion of dealing with thousands of local times. The bold move was emblematic of the power shared by the railroad companies.
The need for continental time zones stemmed directly from the problems of moving passengers and freight over the thousands of miles of rail line that covered North America by the 1880s. Since human beings had first begun keeping track of time, they set their clocks to the local movement of the sun. Even as late as the 1880s, most towns in the U.S. had their own local time, generally based on "high noon," or the time when the sun was at its highest point in the sky. As railroads began to shrink the travel time between cities from days or months to mere hours, however, these local times became a scheduling nightmare. Railroad timetables in major cities listed dozens of different arrival and departure times for the same train, each linked to a different local time zone.
Efficient rail transportation demanded a more uniform time-keeping system. Rather than turning to the federal governments of the United States and Canada to create a North American system of time zones, the powerful railroad companies took it upon themselves to create a new time code system. The companies agreed to divide the continent into four time zones; the dividing lines adopted were very close to the ones we still use today.
Most Americans and Canadians quickly embraced their new time zones, since railroads were often their lifeblood and main link with the rest of the world. However, it was not until 1918 that Congress officially adopted the railroad time zones and put them under the supervision of the Interstate Commerce Commission.
November 18, 1886
Chester Arthur dies in New York
On this day in 1886, former President Chester Alan Arthur succumbs to complications from a debilitating and fatal kidney ailment known as Bright’s Disease. In the words of former President Rutherford B. Hayes, Arthur’s term as president was most notable for "liquor, snobbery and worse." Although he had been ambitious as a young man, he was considered by many of his contemporaries to have been a lazy and "foppish" president.
The precocious and bright young Arthur wanted to become a lawyer and enrolled in Union College in New York at the age of 15. He later supported himself by teaching school while he earned his law degree. In 1848, he went to work as a lawyer in New York City. During the Civil War, he served as quartermaster general for the state of New York, overseeing the purchase of supplies for the state’s military depots. His political career began when Ulysses S. Grant appointed him port collector for New York’s harbors in 1871. Arthur’s penchant for staffing his office with Republican political cronies resulted in his firing by President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1878. After being chosen as James Garfield’s vice-presidential running mate in 1880, Arthur decided to straighten up his act and denounced the political patronage system. The campaign was successful.
That same year, Arthur’s beloved wife Ellen became ill and lapsed into a coma. Arthur was away in upstate New York when he was notified of her illness, but had returned to be by her side by the time of her death. In March 1881, Arthur’s close friend and boss, President James Garfield, was shot by a crazed assassin named Charles Guiteau. Garfield lingered for four months, leaving Arthur’s political role in limbo. Just as Garfield appeared to be on the verge of recovery, though, he took a turn for the worse, finally succumbing to his wounds on September 2, and thrusting Arthur into presidency.
Some historians have suggested that the lethargy Arthur displayed as president was in fact the result of his struggle with Bright’s Disease. Also called nephritis, the disease causes the degeneration of kidney cells, swelling, high blood pressure and, eventually, kidney failure. It can be brought on by infection. (Arthur had reportedly picked up a case of malaria while vacationing in Florida in 1882.) His doctors diagnosed the disease in 1882 but kept it secret since it was not in an advanced stage.
In addition to being considered a lazy administrator, Arthur’s lifestyle apart from politics was perceived by many as frivolous. It was suggested in some social circles that Arthur’s heavy drinking and eating was his way of alleviating his heartbreak over his wife’s death. Arthur served only one term from 1881 to 1885 and upon retirement returned to his home in New York. He never remarried. After leaving the White House, his battle with Bright’s Disease turned critical. He passed away on November 18, 1886.
Roller Skating
Roller-skating was introduced in 1863, and it was quickly made fashionable by the elite of New York City. The 1870’ rinks with hard maple had built floors in nearly every town and city. By paying an admission fee of twenty-five or fifty cents, men, women, and children could participate in races, fancy skating, or dancing on skates. Special skating dresses, which allowed more freedom of movement, became popular by the 1870’. Indicative of the extent of the craze was this wry comment by the editors of Harper’sweekly, in the form of a potential gravestone inscription for a departed skater:
Our Jane has climbed the golden stair
And passed the jasper gates;
Henceforth she will have wings to wear,
Instead of roller skates.
The popularity of roller skating waned by the 1890’s, but like ice skating it helped lead to more freedom in dress and behavior for women.
Industrial Inventions of the Victorian Era
1819 Scotland - Thomas Hancock and Charles Macintosh invent a waterproof material.
1821 London - The electric motor is invented by British scientist Michael Faraday. Though trained in Chemistry he took an interest in electricity and took the discovery of Oersted that the flow of electricity through a wire produces a magnetic field around the wire.
1823 Britain - William Ellis invents the game of Rugby
1823 Manchester - Charles Macintosh invents the waterproof raincoat which comes to be known as a "Mac"
1825 The first railway in the world designed for steam locomotives begins operations in England. With construction beginning in 1821, it was primarily the design of George Stephenson.
1827 John Dalton of England develops the first atomic theory, published in his New System of Chemical Philosophy.
1833 Charles Babbage invents the Analytical Engine in England. It is the world's first programmable "calculator".
1836 Isaac Pitman develops the written language of shorthand in Bath.
1874 The game of Tennis is invented in England by Major Wingfield though it is considered a "ladies game".
1884 The machine gun is invented by Maxim in London.
December 5, 1873
The Boston Belfry Murderer kills his first victim
Bridget Landregan is found beaten and strangled to death in the Boston suburb of Dorchester. According to witnesses, a man in black clothes and a flowing cape attempted to sexually assault the dead girl before running away. In 1874, a man fitting the same description clubbed another young girl, Mary Sullivan, to death. His third victim, Mary Tynan, was bludgeoned in her bed in 1875. Although she survived for a year after the severe attack, she was never able to identify her attacker.
Residents of Boston were shocked to learn that the killer had been among them all along. Thomas Piper, the sexton at the Warren Avenue Baptist Church, was known for his flowing black cape, but because he was friendly with the parishioners, nobody suspected his involvement. But when five-year-old Mabel Young, who was last seen with the sexton, was found dead in the church's belfry in the summer of 1876, Piper became the prime suspect. Young's skull had been crushed with a wooden club.
Piper, who was dubbed "The Boston Belfry Murderer," confessed to the four killings after his arrest. He was convicted and sentenced to die, and he was hanged in 1876.
November 26, 1872
The Great Diamond Hoax is exposed
The Great Diamond Hoax, one of the most notorious mining swindles of the time, is exposed with an article in the San Francisco Evening Bulletin.
Fraudulent gold and silver mines were common in the years following the California Gold Rush of 1849. Swindlers fooled many eager greenhorns by "salting" worthless mines with particles of gold dust to make them appear mineral-rich. However, few con men were as daring as Kentucky cousins Philip Arnold and John Slack, who convinced San Francisco capitalists to invest in a worthless mine in the northwestern corner of Colorado.
Arnold and Slack played their con perfectly. They arrived in San Francisco in 1872 and tried to deposit a bag of uncut diamonds at a bank. When questioned, the two men quickly disappeared, acting as if they were reluctant to talk about their discovery. Intrigued, a bank director named William Ralston tracked down the men. Assuming he was dealing with unsophisticated country bumpkins, he set out to take control of the diamond mine. The two cousins agreed to take a blindfolded mining expert to the site; the expert returned to report that the mine was indeed rich with diamonds and rubies.
Joining forces with a number of other prominent San Francisco financiers, Ralston formed the New York Mining and Commercial Company, capitalized at $10 million, and began selling stock to eager investors. As a show of good faith, Arnold and Slack received about $600,000-small change in comparison to the supposed value of the diamond mine. Convinced that the American West must have many other major deposits of diamonds, at least 25 other diamond exploration companies formed in the subsequent months.
Clarence King, the then-little-known young leader of a geographical survey of the 40th parallel, finally exposed the cousins' diamond mine as a hoax. A brilliant geologist and mining engineer, King was suspicious of the mine from the start. He correctly deduced the location of the supposed mine, raced off to investigate, and soon realized that the swindlers had salted the mine--some of the gems he found even showed jewelers-cut marks.
Back in San Francisco, King exposed the fraud in the newspapers and the Great Diamond Hoax collapsed. Ralston returned $80,000 to each of his investors, but he was never able to recover the $600,000 given to the two cousins. Arnold lived out the few remaining years of his life in luxury in Kentucky before dying of pneumonia in 1878. Slack apparently squandered his share of the money, for he was last reported working as a coffin maker in New Mexico. King's role in exposing the fraud brought him national recognition--he became the first director of the United States Geological Survey.
Phrenology
Now considered to be a pseudo-science, Phrenology was considered a main stream practices in Victorian times…
Phrenology was a faculty psychology, theory of brain and science of character reading, what the 19th-century phrenologists called "the only true science of mind." Phrenology was derived from the theories of the idiosyncratic Viennese physician Franz Joseph Gall (1758-1828). The basic tenets of Gall's system were:
1.The brain is the organ of the mind.
2. The mind is composed of multiple distinct, innate faculties.
3. Because they are distinct, each faculty must have a separate seat or "organ" in the brain.
4. The size of an organ, other things being equal, is a measure of its power.
5. The shape of the brain is determined by the development of the various organs.
6. As the skull takes its shape from the brain, the surface of the skull can be read as an accurate index of psychological aptitudes and tendencies.
So it was believed that by examining the shape and unevenness of a head or skull, one could discover the development of the particular cerebral "organs" responsible for different intellectual aptitudes and character traits. For example, a prominent protuberance in the forehead at the position attributed to the organ of Benevolence was meant to indicate that the individual had a "well developed" organ of Benevolence and would therefore be expected to exhibit benevolent behavior.
During phrenology's first heyday in the 1820s-1840s, many employers could demand a character reference from a local phrenologist to ensure that a prospective employee was honest and hard-working. This belief that the protuberances on the skull provided an accurate index of talents and abilities was particularly urged to be applied to education and criminal reform. Phrenologists, not unlike those who today believe in strong demarcations in "left-" or "right-brains", thought they could determine the most suitable career for the young and match prospective mates with greater accuracy than 'old-fashioned love'. Visiting a phrenologist was akin to seeking the advice of so-called psychics, clairvoyants or astrologers today. A phrenologist was someone who claimed to have access to special knowledge about people. The ignorant and gullible were particularly susceptible to the pretensions of phrenologists.
Phrenology was a faculty psychology, theory of brain and science of character reading, what the 19th-century phrenologists called "the only true science of mind." Phrenology was derived from the theories of the idiosyncratic Viennese physician Franz Joseph Gall (1758-1828). The basic tenets of Gall's system were:
1.The brain is the organ of the mind.
2. The mind is composed of multiple distinct, innate faculties.
3. Because they are distinct, each faculty must have a separate seat or "organ" in the brain.
4. The size of an organ, other things being equal, is a measure of its power.
5. The shape of the brain is determined by the development of the various organs.
6. As the skull takes its shape from the brain, the surface of the skull can be read as an accurate index of psychological aptitudes and tendencies.
So it was believed that by examining the shape and unevenness of a head or skull, one could discover the development of the particular cerebral "organs" responsible for different intellectual aptitudes and character traits. For example, a prominent protuberance in the forehead at the position attributed to the organ of Benevolence was meant to indicate that the individual had a "well developed" organ of Benevolence and would therefore be expected to exhibit benevolent behavior.
During phrenology's first heyday in the 1820s-1840s, many employers could demand a character reference from a local phrenologist to ensure that a prospective employee was honest and hard-working. This belief that the protuberances on the skull provided an accurate index of talents and abilities was particularly urged to be applied to education and criminal reform. Phrenologists, not unlike those who today believe in strong demarcations in "left-" or "right-brains", thought they could determine the most suitable career for the young and match prospective mates with greater accuracy than 'old-fashioned love'. Visiting a phrenologist was akin to seeking the advice of so-called psychics, clairvoyants or astrologers today. A phrenologist was someone who claimed to have access to special knowledge about people. The ignorant and gullible were particularly susceptible to the pretensions of phrenologists.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Dating tips
Meet your date out and drive yourself. If you want to bail out early, you won't be trapped.
Also, when you have your own car, if things work out, you won't have any worries about inviting your date in or not. This helps protect you from your own impulses, because what's worse then "will he respect me in the morning?" is "How much will I hate myself when I wake up?"
Also when you have your own car, no need to worry about safety. Your date does not know where you live. This protects you from a date turned bad turning in to a stalking nightmare.
Ask about your date. Each of us knows we are the most interesting subject :) But the most interesting conversationalists are people who ask about others.
Great light topics are work, hobbies, sports, kids (if they have any).
Also, when you have your own car, if things work out, you won't have any worries about inviting your date in or not. This helps protect you from your own impulses, because what's worse then "will he respect me in the morning?" is "How much will I hate myself when I wake up?"
Also when you have your own car, no need to worry about safety. Your date does not know where you live. This protects you from a date turned bad turning in to a stalking nightmare.
Ask about your date. Each of us knows we are the most interesting subject :) But the most interesting conversationalists are people who ask about others.
Great light topics are work, hobbies, sports, kids (if they have any).
How to concentrate on writing
When I am up against a deadline and I absolutely, definitely have to get on with my work, I use a few tactics to force myself to concentrate:
Switch off email. I don’t start Outlook (or if I do, I disable all the notifications that tell me I have new mail).
Isolate myself. I use Bose noise-canceling headphones but don’t plug them into anything. The silence really is golden.
Greed and guilt. I remind myself how much money I’m getting paid for a particular assignment and how ashamed I will be if I miss the deadline. This actually works sometimes.
Stop with the blog already. When I’m pressed for time, distractions like blogging and hoovering become very compelling. Knowing this makes it easier to resist.
Get up early. 6am is the most productive time of day for writing. No distractions. It also feels more virtuous than staying up late with work.
Little treats. I bribe myself: ‘Matthew, if you write another 500 words, you can have a cup of tea and a biscuit.’
Chunking. Setting a timer or alarm clock for 15, 20, 30, 50 minutes and doing nothing but writing until it goes off and then taking a break seems like a good way to make progress.
Go full screen. Switching Word into full screen mode (from the view menu) eliminates all distractions but the piece I’m working on.
Shitty first draft. Splitting the work into distinct writing and editing phases breaks the job down nicely and it takes off some of the pressure to ‘get it right first time’.
Change location. Sometimes, if I’m really struggling to get started, taking a laptop or my notebook to a cafe and scribbling out something there - a fresh new location - is a good way to jolt-start an assignment.
Switch off email. I don’t start Outlook (or if I do, I disable all the notifications that tell me I have new mail).
Isolate myself. I use Bose noise-canceling headphones but don’t plug them into anything. The silence really is golden.
Greed and guilt. I remind myself how much money I’m getting paid for a particular assignment and how ashamed I will be if I miss the deadline. This actually works sometimes.
Stop with the blog already. When I’m pressed for time, distractions like blogging and hoovering become very compelling. Knowing this makes it easier to resist.
Get up early. 6am is the most productive time of day for writing. No distractions. It also feels more virtuous than staying up late with work.
Little treats. I bribe myself: ‘Matthew, if you write another 500 words, you can have a cup of tea and a biscuit.’
Chunking. Setting a timer or alarm clock for 15, 20, 30, 50 minutes and doing nothing but writing until it goes off and then taking a break seems like a good way to make progress.
Go full screen. Switching Word into full screen mode (from the view menu) eliminates all distractions but the piece I’m working on.
Shitty first draft. Splitting the work into distinct writing and editing phases breaks the job down nicely and it takes off some of the pressure to ‘get it right first time’.
Change location. Sometimes, if I’m really struggling to get started, taking a laptop or my notebook to a cafe and scribbling out something there - a fresh new location - is a good way to jolt-start an assignment.
6 ways to beat writer's block
PR & Marcoms News and Views from Strive.
Sun 8 Oct 2006
Six ways to beat writer’s block
Posted by sherrilynne under public relations , PR , writing
1. Don’t write. Do something else for a while. Go for a walk, ring up a friend. Come back to your writing later when you can start fresh.
2. Write a letter. Whatever you are trying to write, imagine you are telling a friend about it in a letter. After you’re finished the letter, put it away for an hour or so; then go back and edit it. Voila…your article is finished.
3. Think opposites. Think objectively and creatively as the same time. If you have to write about a new product, say some new software, start out thinking about hardware.
4. Break your routine. Drive a different route to work. Eat lunch in a new place. Rearrange your office. Change your perspective.
5. Get some exercise. Really work up a sweat. You’ll feel great. And that’s ideal for boosting creativity.
6. Don’t worry. Quit trying to be creative. Not every job needs to be award winning. Just get it done; and move on.
Sun 8 Oct 2006
Six ways to beat writer’s block
Posted by sherrilynne under public relations , PR , writing
1. Don’t write. Do something else for a while. Go for a walk, ring up a friend. Come back to your writing later when you can start fresh.
2. Write a letter. Whatever you are trying to write, imagine you are telling a friend about it in a letter. After you’re finished the letter, put it away for an hour or so; then go back and edit it. Voila…your article is finished.
3. Think opposites. Think objectively and creatively as the same time. If you have to write about a new product, say some new software, start out thinking about hardware.
4. Break your routine. Drive a different route to work. Eat lunch in a new place. Rearrange your office. Change your perspective.
5. Get some exercise. Really work up a sweat. You’ll feel great. And that’s ideal for boosting creativity.
6. Don’t worry. Quit trying to be creative. Not every job needs to be award winning. Just get it done; and move on.
Before you start to write
Posted by sherrilynne under public relations , PR , writing
It doesn’t matter if it’s a news release, some brochure copy or a blog post, before you write the first word you need to get organized. Foremost in your mind should be the main communications objective of the overall program, whether it is to:
raise awareness of a product or brand
educate an audience about a new public service
engage people in an ideological discussion
achieve any other communications objective.
Once you have this clear in your head, make a list, by priority, of the messages you wish to communicate. It’s best to keep to the ‘rule of 3′ when honing your message list. You can always underline major messages with sub-text within the copy. Now you’ve come some way to developing a compelling headline and lead paragraph.
Next, work out a good description of your primary target audience and a comprehensive list of benefits of the product, service, idea that you are promoting. Which benefits are most appealing to your audience? Make sure you exclude reference to benefits that are irrelevant.
Now, list facts and proof points to back up any claims made. Industry statistics, quotes from disinterested authorities and references to recent news items are all good back ups.
You now will likely have resolved any conflict between what you want to tell and what your audience wants to hear at this point too.
List what you’d like someone to do after reading your copy. Is it to buy a product, visit a website or vote for a specific candidate?
Now you have a good solid outline and your copy will just about write itself.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a news release, some brochure copy or a blog post, before you write the first word you need to get organized. Foremost in your mind should be the main communications objective of the overall program, whether it is to:
raise awareness of a product or brand
educate an audience about a new public service
engage people in an ideological discussion
achieve any other communications objective.
Once you have this clear in your head, make a list, by priority, of the messages you wish to communicate. It’s best to keep to the ‘rule of 3′ when honing your message list. You can always underline major messages with sub-text within the copy. Now you’ve come some way to developing a compelling headline and lead paragraph.
Next, work out a good description of your primary target audience and a comprehensive list of benefits of the product, service, idea that you are promoting. Which benefits are most appealing to your audience? Make sure you exclude reference to benefits that are irrelevant.
Now, list facts and proof points to back up any claims made. Industry statistics, quotes from disinterested authorities and references to recent news items are all good back ups.
You now will likely have resolved any conflict between what you want to tell and what your audience wants to hear at this point too.
List what you’d like someone to do after reading your copy. Is it to buy a product, visit a website or vote for a specific candidate?
Now you have a good solid outline and your copy will just about write itself.
Novelist finds inspiration in 'Sniper'
Ideas for a novel can come at the oddest moments, just ask first-time author and former Staunton resident Ken Armstrong.
It was February, and as CEO of the United Way of the Big Bend in Tallahassee, Fla., Armstrong had just finished wrapping up a benefit concert that his agency put together featuring world-renowned musician Jimmy Buffet.
"I was just a complete vegetable," Armstrong said.
He curled up in front of his television set one afternoon, watching back-to-back Tom Berenger films — "Sniper" and "Sniper 2." The movies got him thinking about a story line involving the president and his protector, a master marksman shrouded in so much secrecy not even the Secret Service is aware of his existence. Three months later, Armstrong finished penning "Saving the President," a book printed by Jaguar Publishers that will be available in November.
"It just bloomed," Armstrong said. "It flowed pretty quickly."
Armstrong, 59, once worked as vice president for institutional advancement at Mary Baldwin College and lived in Staunton for several years in the 1980s. "I just loved the Shenandoah Valley," he said. "If I had a family, I don't know if I would have ever left." Wright's Dairy Rite, Woodrow Wilson's childhood home and Mary Baldwin College all get a mention in the book.
For more information, visit www.kenarmstrongbooks.com
Did you use an outline when writing the book? I did what you would call an annotated flow chart, if you will. There were many times when I realized my conception wasn't fleshed out enough.
Was it a grind writing a novel (388 pages) in such a short time span? There was never despair. It took discipline, but I never found myself resenting the discipline that it took.
Will you ditch your day job to write full time? The work I do in the community is really my mission. I hope to do this for a dozen years yet.
Are there more books to come? I have two more that are in my head.
How long have you had the desire to write a book? I never had a desire to write a book.
What do you like to read? I have always loved the escapist fiction on my own time.
What author influenced your writing the most? (Robert) Ludlum. It feels to me like one of his books.
— Brad Zinn http://www.newsleader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071001/NEWS01/710010303/1002
It was February, and as CEO of the United Way of the Big Bend in Tallahassee, Fla., Armstrong had just finished wrapping up a benefit concert that his agency put together featuring world-renowned musician Jimmy Buffet.
"I was just a complete vegetable," Armstrong said.
He curled up in front of his television set one afternoon, watching back-to-back Tom Berenger films — "Sniper" and "Sniper 2." The movies got him thinking about a story line involving the president and his protector, a master marksman shrouded in so much secrecy not even the Secret Service is aware of his existence. Three months later, Armstrong finished penning "Saving the President," a book printed by Jaguar Publishers that will be available in November.
"It just bloomed," Armstrong said. "It flowed pretty quickly."
Armstrong, 59, once worked as vice president for institutional advancement at Mary Baldwin College and lived in Staunton for several years in the 1980s. "I just loved the Shenandoah Valley," he said. "If I had a family, I don't know if I would have ever left." Wright's Dairy Rite, Woodrow Wilson's childhood home and Mary Baldwin College all get a mention in the book.
For more information, visit www.kenarmstrongbooks.com
Did you use an outline when writing the book? I did what you would call an annotated flow chart, if you will. There were many times when I realized my conception wasn't fleshed out enough.
Was it a grind writing a novel (388 pages) in such a short time span? There was never despair. It took discipline, but I never found myself resenting the discipline that it took.
Will you ditch your day job to write full time? The work I do in the community is really my mission. I hope to do this for a dozen years yet.
Are there more books to come? I have two more that are in my head.
How long have you had the desire to write a book? I never had a desire to write a book.
What do you like to read? I have always loved the escapist fiction on my own time.
What author influenced your writing the most? (Robert) Ludlum. It feels to me like one of his books.
— Brad Zinn http://www.newsleader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071001/NEWS01/710010303/1002
Jokes and miscellaneous info
A couple of weeks ago, the most amazing thing happened: I met a biped who was NOT a writer! I immediately went into convulsions and nearly died--it was such a rare experience, so terrifying in its implications in a land where every hairdresser and grease monkey not only HAS at least one gorgeous computer but IS a budding novelist on the verge of success, because that's what America is all about. Right?
Michael Okuda – Startrek
The Emperor’s Nightengale HCA
A writer is facing a mugger with a gun.
“Your money or your life!" says the mugger.
"I'm sorry," the writer answers, "I am a writer, so I have no money and no life."
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten" he pleaded." The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague: "You know the person that did this really needs help."
A pastor always used the phrase, "It might be worse," when some calamity would come his way. One day a friend said to him, "I've something to tell you, and you won't be able to use your favorite phrase. I dreamt last night that I died and went to hell." "It might be worse," said the preacher. The friend came unglued: "man alive, how could it be worse?" to which the pastor replied: "it might be true."
Three guys die together and go to heaven.... St. Peter says, "We only have one rule...don't step on the ducks as they are God's favorite creation."
They enter heaven and see ducks everywhere, and it's almost impossible to not step on a duck. The first guy accidentally steps on one, and soon here comes St. Peter with the biggest, ugliest woman he'd ever seen...
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment is to be chained to this ugly woman forever."
The next day the second guy steps on a duck...Sure enough, St. Peter comes with another ugly woman and chains them together.
Seeing this, the third guy is very, very careful. He goes for months and doesn't step on any ducks. One day, St. Peter comes along with this beautiful woman: Blonde, blue-eyed, very young and very sexy. He chains them together and leaves without a word.
The man remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve this good fortune?" And the Blonde says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
Michael Okuda – Startrek
The Emperor’s Nightengale HCA
A writer is facing a mugger with a gun.
“Your money or your life!" says the mugger.
"I'm sorry," the writer answers, "I am a writer, so I have no money and no life."
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten" he pleaded." The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague: "You know the person that did this really needs help."
A pastor always used the phrase, "It might be worse," when some calamity would come his way. One day a friend said to him, "I've something to tell you, and you won't be able to use your favorite phrase. I dreamt last night that I died and went to hell." "It might be worse," said the preacher. The friend came unglued: "man alive, how could it be worse?" to which the pastor replied: "it might be true."
Three guys die together and go to heaven.... St. Peter says, "We only have one rule...don't step on the ducks as they are God's favorite creation."
They enter heaven and see ducks everywhere, and it's almost impossible to not step on a duck. The first guy accidentally steps on one, and soon here comes St. Peter with the biggest, ugliest woman he'd ever seen...
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment is to be chained to this ugly woman forever."
The next day the second guy steps on a duck...Sure enough, St. Peter comes with another ugly woman and chains them together.
Seeing this, the third guy is very, very careful. He goes for months and doesn't step on any ducks. One day, St. Peter comes along with this beautiful woman: Blonde, blue-eyed, very young and very sexy. He chains them together and leaves without a word.
The man remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve this good fortune?" And the Blonde says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
Ten things your IT department won't tell you
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118539543272477927.html?mod=fpa_mostpop
THE JOURNAL REPORT: TECHNOLOGY
Office Technology
Ten Things Your IT Department Won't Tell You
By VAUHINI VARA
July 30, 2007; Page R1
Admit it: For many of us, our work computer is a home away from home.
It seems only fair, since our home computer is typically an office away from the office. So in between typing up reports and poring over spreadsheets, we use our office PCs to keep up with our lives. We do birthday shopping, check out funny clips on YouTube and catch up with friends by email or instant message.
And often it's just easier to accomplish certain tasks using consumer technology than using the sometimes clunky office technology our company gives us -- compare Gmail with a corporate email account.
There's only one problem with what we're doing: Our employers sometimes don't like it. Partly, they want us to work while we're at work. And partly, they're afraid that what we're doing compromises the company's computer network -- putting the company at risk in a host of ways. So they've asked their information-technology departments to block us from bringing our home to work.
End of story? Not so fast. To find out whether it's possible to get around the IT departments, we asked Web experts for some advice. Specifically, we asked them to find the top 10 secrets our IT departments don't want us to know. How to surf to blocked sites without leaving any traces, for instance, or carry on instant-message chats without having to download software.
But, to keep everybody honest, we also turned to security pros to learn just what chances we take by doing an end run around the IT department.
For hacking advice, we asked Gina Trapani, editor of Lifehacker.com, an online guide to being more productive on the Web; Leon Ho, editor of Lifehack.org, a blog with a similar mission; and Mark Frauenfelder, founder of the wide-ranging blog BoingBoing.net and editor of the do-it-yourself technology magazine Make.
To find out the risks, we talked to three experts who make a living helping IT departments make the rules and track down the rogue employees who break them. They are: John Pironti, chief information risk strategist at Amsterdam-based IT-consulting firm Getronics NV; Mark Lobel, a security expert in PricewaterhouseCoopers's advisory practice; and Craig Schmugar, a threat researcher at security-software maker McAfee Inc.
Here, then, are the 10 secrets your IT department doesn't want you to know, the risks you'll face if you use them -- and tips about how to keep yourself (and your job) safe while you're at it.
1. HOW TO SEND GIANT FILES
The Problem: Everybody needs to email big files from time to time, everything from big marketing presentations to vacation photos. But if you send anything larger than a few megabytes, chances are you'll get an email saying you've hit the company's limit.
Companies cap the amount of data employees can send and store in email for a very simple reason: They want to avoid filling up their servers, and thus slowing them down, says messaging-research firm Osterman Research Inc., of Black Diamond, Wash. And getting your company to increase your email limit can be a convoluted process.
The Trick: Use online services such as YouSendIt Inc., SendThisFile Inc. and Carson Systems Ltd.'s DropSend, which let you send large files -- sometimes up to a few gigabytes in size -- free of charge. To use the services, you typically have to register, supplying personal information such as name and email address. You can then enter the recipient's email address and a message to him or her, and the site will give you instructions for uploading the file. In most cases, the site will send the recipient a link that he or she can click to download the file.
The Risk: Because these services send your files over the Web, they're outside of your company's control. That makes it easier for a wily hacker to intercept files during their travels.
How to Stay Safe: Some of the services are more reputable than others. YouSendIt, for instance, is a start-up run by a former Adobe Systems Inc. executive and funded by well-known venture-capital firms. Others offer little information on their sites about themselves and could be more susceptible to security holes that could let a hacker steal your information.
If the site's backers aren't immediately apparent, there are other clues that can help. Look for a "secure" icon -- in Internet Explorer, it's a little lock on the bottom of the screen -- which signifies that the site is using encryption to protect its visitors' confidential information. A logo from a security company such as VeriSign Inc., meanwhile, means VeriSign has confirmed the identity of the site's owner.
2. HOW TO USE SOFTWARE THAT YOUR COMPANY WON'T LET YOU DOWNLOAD
The Problem: Many companies require that employees get permission from the IT department to download software. But that can be problematic if you're trying to download software that your IT department has blacklisted.
The Trick: There are two easy ways around this: finding Web-based alternatives or bringing in the software on an outside device.
The first is easier. Say your company won't let you download the popular AOL Instant Messenger program, from Time Warner Inc.'s AOL unit. You can still instant-message with colleagues and friends using a Web-based version of the service called AIM Express (AIM.com/aimexpress.adp). There's also Google Inc.'s instant-messaging service, Google Talk, accessible at Google.com/talk. There are Web-based equivalents of software such as music players and videogames, too -- typically, skimpier versions with fewer features than the regular programs.
The other approach to this problem is more involved but gives you access to actual software programs on your computer. All three of our experts pointed to a company called Rare Ideas LLC (RareIdeas.com), which offers free versions of popular programs such as Firefox and OpenOffice. You can download the software onto a portable device like an iPod or a USB stick, through a service called Portable Apps (PortableApps.com). Then hook the device up to your work computer, and you're ready to go. (But if your company blocks you from using external devices, you're out of luck.)
The Risk: Using Web-based services can be a strain on your company's resources. And bringing in software on outside devices can present a security problem. IT departments like to keep track of all the software used by employees, so that if a bug or other security problem arises, they can easily put fixes in place. That's not the case if you've brought the program in on your own.
Another thing to keep in mind: Some less reputable software programs, especially underground file-sharing programs, could come loaded with spyware and make it possible for your own files to leak onto the Web.
How to Stay Safe: If you bring in software on an outside device, says Mr. Lobel, make sure you at least tweak the security settings on your computer's antivirus software so that it scans the device for potential threats. That's easy to do, usually through an Options or Settings menu. Likewise, if you use a file-sharing service, set it up so that others can't access your own files, also through an Options or Settings area.
3. HOW TO VISIT THE WEB SITES YOUR COMPANY BLOCKS
The Problem: Companies often block employees from visiting certain sites -- ranging from the really nefarious (porn) to probably bad (gambling) to mostly innocuous (Web-based email services).
The Trick: Even if your company won't let you visit those sites by typing their Web addresses into your browser, you can still sometimes sneak your way onto them. You travel to a third-party site, called a proxy, and type the Web address you want into a search box. Then the proxy site travels to the site you want and displays it for you -- so you can see the site without actually visiting it. Proxy.org, for one, features a list of more than 4,000 proxies.
Another way to accomplish the same thing, from Mr. Frauenfelder and Ms. Trapani: Use Google's translation service, asking it to do an English-to-English translation. Just enter this -- Google.com/translate?langpair=en|en&u=www.blockedsite.com -- replacing "blockedsite.com" with the Web address of the site you want to visit. Google effectively acts as a proxy, calling up the site for you.
The Risk: If you use a proxy to, say, catch up on email or watch a YouTube video, the main risk is getting caught by your boss. But there are scarier security risks: Online bad guys sometimes buy Web addresses that are misspellings of popular sites, then use them to infect visitors' computers, warns Mr. Lobel. Companies often block those sites, too -- but you won't be protected from them if you use a proxy.
How to Stay Safe: Don't make a habit of using proxies for all your Web surfing. Use them only to visit specific sites that your company blocks for productivity-related reasons -- say, YouTube. And watch your spelling.
4. HOW TO CLEAR YOUR TRACKS ON YOUR WORK LAPTOP
The Problem: If you use a company-owned laptop at home, chances are you use it for personal tasks: planning family vacations, shopping for beach books, organizing online photo albums and so on. Many companies reserve the right to monitor all that activity, because the laptops are technically their property. So what happens if your -- ahem -- friend accidentally surfs onto a porn site or does a Web search for some embarrassing ailment?
The Trick: The latest versions of the Internet Explorer and Firefox browsers both make it easy to clear your tracks. In IE7, click on Tools, then Delete Browsing History. From there, you can either delete all your history by clicking Delete All or choose one or a few kinds of data to delete. In Firefox, just hit Ctrl-Shift-Del -- or click Clear Private Data under the Tools menu.
The Risk: Even if you clear your tracks, you still face risks from roaming all over the Web. You could unintentionally install spyware on your computer from visiting a sketchy site or get your boss involved in legal problems for your behavior. If you're caught, it could mean (at best) embarrassment or (at worst) joblessness.
How to Stay Safe: Clear your private data as often as possible. Better yet, don't use your work computer to do anything you wouldn't want your boss to know about.
5. HOW TO SEARCH FOR YOUR WORK DOCUMENTS FROM HOME
The Problem: You're catching up on work late at night or over the weekend -- but the documents you need to search through are stuck on your office PC.
The Trick: Google, Microsoft, Yahoo and IAC/InterActiveCorp's Ask unit have all released software that lets you quickly search your desktop documents. On top of that, some will let you search through documents saved on one computer from another one. How does it work? The search company keeps a copy of your documents on its own server. So it can scan those copies when you do a search remotely.
To use Google's software -- among the most popular -- follow these steps on both your work and home PC. First, you'll need to set up a Google account on both machines by visiting Google.com/accounts. (Be sure to use the same account on both computers.) Then go to Desktop.Google.com to download the search software. When it's up and running -- again, do this on both machines -- click on Desktop Preferences, then Google Account Features. From there, check the box next to Search Across Computers. After that point, any document you open on either machine will be copied to Google's servers -- and will be searchable from either machine.
The Risk: Corporate technology managers offer this nightmare scenario: You've saved top-secret financial information on your work PC. You set up desktop-search software so that you can access those files when working from home on your laptop. Then you lose your laptop. Uh-oh.
Getting hold of your company's internal documents could give others insight into your plans, and losing certain information could have legal repercussions. In particular, myriad state laws regulate how a company has to react when it loses private information about customers or employees; most require notifying those people about the breach in writing. Sending those notifications can be costly for your company -- not to mention damaging to its reputation.
On top of that threat, researchers have found vulnerabilities in Google's desktop-search software that could let a hacker trick a user into giving up access to files, says Mr. Schmugar of McAfee. (Those vulnerabilities have since been fixed, but more could crop up, he says.)
Matt Glotzbach, product management director for Google Enterprise, says there are bound to be vulnerabilities in any software and that, to the best of his knowledge, none of the Google Desktop vulnerabilities were exploited by hackers. He adds that when Google finds out about a vulnerability, it quickly fixes it and notifies users.
How to Stay Safe: If you have any files on your work PC that shouldn't be made public, ask your IT administrator to help you set up Google Desktop to avoid accidental leaks.
6. HOW TO STORE WORK FILES ONLINE
The Problem: Desktop search aside, most people who often work away from the office have come up with their own solution to getting access to work files. They save them on a disk or a portable device and then plug it into a home computer. Or they store the files on the company network, then access the network remotely. But portable devices can be cumbersome, and company-network connections can be slow and unreliable.
The Trick: Use an online-storage service from the likes of Box.net Inc., Streamload Inc. or AOL-owned Xdrive. (Box.net also offers its service inside the social-networking site Facebook.) Most offer some free storage, from one to five gigabytes, and charge a few dollars a month for premium packages with extra space. Another guerrilla storage solution is to email files to your private, Web-based email account, such as Gmail or Hotmail.
The Risk: A bad guy could steal your password for one of these sites and quickly grab copies of your company's sensitive files.
How to Stay Safe: When you're thinking about storing a file online, ask yourself if it would be OK for that file to be splashed all over the Internet or sent to the CEO of your company's top rival. If so, go for it. If not, don't.
7. HOW TO KEEP YOUR PRIVACY WHEN USING WEB EMAIL
The Problem: Many companies now have the ability to track employees' emails, both on work email accounts and personal Web-based accounts, as well as IM conversations.
The Trick: When you send emails -- using either your work or personal email address -- you can encrypt them, so that only you and the recipient can read them. In Microsoft Outlook, click on Tools, then Options and choose the Security tab. There, you can enter a password -- and nobody can open a note from you without supplying it. (Of course, you'll have to tell people the code beforehand.)
For Web-based personal email, try this trick from Mr. Frauenfelder: When checking email, add an "s" to the end of the "http" in front of your email provider's Web address -- for instance, https://www.Gmail.com. This throws you into a secure session, so that nobody can track your email. Not all Web services may support this, however.
To encrypt IM conversations, meanwhile, try the IM service Trillian from Cerulean Studios LLC, which lets you connect to AOL Instant Messenger, Yahoo Messenger and others -- and lets you encrypt your IM conversations so that they can't be read.
The Risk: The main reason companies monitor email is to catch employees who are leaking confidential information. By using these tricks, you may set off false alarms and make it harder for the IT crew to manage real threats.
How to Stay Safe: Use these tricks only occasionally, instead of as a default.
8. HOW TO ACCESS YOUR WORK EMAIL REMOTELY WHEN YOUR COMPANY WON'T SPRING FOR A BLACKBERRY
The Problem: Anyone without a BlackBerry knows the feeling: There's a lull in the conversation when you're out to dinner or an after-work beer, and everyone reaches for their pocket to grab their BlackBerry, leaving you alone to stir your drink.
The Trick: You, too, can stay up to date on work email, using any number of consumer-oriented hand-held devices. Just set up your work email so that all your emails get forwarded to your personal email account.
In Microsoft Outlook, you can do this by right-clicking on any email, choosing Create Rule, and asking that all your email be forwarded to another address. Then, set up your hand-held to receive your personal email, by following instructions from the service provider for your hand-held. (That's the company that sends you your bill.)
The Risk: Now, not only can hackers break into your personal account by going online on a computer, they can also break into it by exploiting security vulnerabilities on your mobile device.
How to Stay Safe: There's a kosher way to access work email on some devices, by getting passwords and other information from your IT department.
9. HOW TO ACCESS YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ON YOUR BLACKBERRY
The Problem: If you do have a BlackBerry, you've probably got a different problem: You want to get your personal email just as easily as work email.
The Trick: Look at the Settings area of your personal email account, and make sure you've enabled POP -- Post Office Protocol -- a method used to retrieve email from elsewhere. Then log in to the Web site for your BlackBerry service provider. Click on the Profile button, look for the Email Accounts section and click on Other Email Accounts. Then click Add Account and enter the information for your Web-based email account. Now your personal emails will pop up on the same screen as your company email.
The Risk: Your company probably uses a whole bunch of security technology to keep viruses and spies out of your files. When you receive personal email on your BlackBerry, it's coming to you without passing through your company's firewall. That means viruses or spyware could sneak onto your BlackBerry via a personal email, says Mr. Schmugar of McAfee. Worse yet, he says, when you plug your BlackBerry into your work computer, there's a chance that the malicious software could jump onto your hard drive.
How to Stay Safe: Cross your fingers and hope that your personal email provider is doing a decent job weeding out viruses, spyware and other intruders. (Chances are, it is.)
10. HOW TO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE WORKING
The Problem: You're doing some vital Web surfing and your boss turns the corner. What do you do?
The Trick: Hit Alt-Tab to quickly minimize one window (say, the one where you're browsing ESPN.com) and maximize another (like that presentation that's due today).
The Risk: The good news is that there are no known security risks.
How to Stay Safe: Get back to work.
--Ms. Vara is a staff reporter in The Wall Street Journal's San Francisco bureau.
Write to Vauhini Vara at vauhini.vara@wsj.com
THE JOURNAL REPORT: TECHNOLOGY
Office Technology
Ten Things Your IT Department Won't Tell You
By VAUHINI VARA
July 30, 2007; Page R1
Admit it: For many of us, our work computer is a home away from home.
It seems only fair, since our home computer is typically an office away from the office. So in between typing up reports and poring over spreadsheets, we use our office PCs to keep up with our lives. We do birthday shopping, check out funny clips on YouTube and catch up with friends by email or instant message.
And often it's just easier to accomplish certain tasks using consumer technology than using the sometimes clunky office technology our company gives us -- compare Gmail with a corporate email account.
There's only one problem with what we're doing: Our employers sometimes don't like it. Partly, they want us to work while we're at work. And partly, they're afraid that what we're doing compromises the company's computer network -- putting the company at risk in a host of ways. So they've asked their information-technology departments to block us from bringing our home to work.
End of story? Not so fast. To find out whether it's possible to get around the IT departments, we asked Web experts for some advice. Specifically, we asked them to find the top 10 secrets our IT departments don't want us to know. How to surf to blocked sites without leaving any traces, for instance, or carry on instant-message chats without having to download software.
But, to keep everybody honest, we also turned to security pros to learn just what chances we take by doing an end run around the IT department.
For hacking advice, we asked Gina Trapani, editor of Lifehacker.com, an online guide to being more productive on the Web; Leon Ho, editor of Lifehack.org, a blog with a similar mission; and Mark Frauenfelder, founder of the wide-ranging blog BoingBoing.net and editor of the do-it-yourself technology magazine Make.
To find out the risks, we talked to three experts who make a living helping IT departments make the rules and track down the rogue employees who break them. They are: John Pironti, chief information risk strategist at Amsterdam-based IT-consulting firm Getronics NV; Mark Lobel, a security expert in PricewaterhouseCoopers's advisory practice; and Craig Schmugar, a threat researcher at security-software maker McAfee Inc.
Here, then, are the 10 secrets your IT department doesn't want you to know, the risks you'll face if you use them -- and tips about how to keep yourself (and your job) safe while you're at it.
1. HOW TO SEND GIANT FILES
The Problem: Everybody needs to email big files from time to time, everything from big marketing presentations to vacation photos. But if you send anything larger than a few megabytes, chances are you'll get an email saying you've hit the company's limit.
Companies cap the amount of data employees can send and store in email for a very simple reason: They want to avoid filling up their servers, and thus slowing them down, says messaging-research firm Osterman Research Inc., of Black Diamond, Wash. And getting your company to increase your email limit can be a convoluted process.
The Trick: Use online services such as YouSendIt Inc., SendThisFile Inc. and Carson Systems Ltd.'s DropSend, which let you send large files -- sometimes up to a few gigabytes in size -- free of charge. To use the services, you typically have to register, supplying personal information such as name and email address. You can then enter the recipient's email address and a message to him or her, and the site will give you instructions for uploading the file. In most cases, the site will send the recipient a link that he or she can click to download the file.
The Risk: Because these services send your files over the Web, they're outside of your company's control. That makes it easier for a wily hacker to intercept files during their travels.
How to Stay Safe: Some of the services are more reputable than others. YouSendIt, for instance, is a start-up run by a former Adobe Systems Inc. executive and funded by well-known venture-capital firms. Others offer little information on their sites about themselves and could be more susceptible to security holes that could let a hacker steal your information.
If the site's backers aren't immediately apparent, there are other clues that can help. Look for a "secure" icon -- in Internet Explorer, it's a little lock on the bottom of the screen -- which signifies that the site is using encryption to protect its visitors' confidential information. A logo from a security company such as VeriSign Inc., meanwhile, means VeriSign has confirmed the identity of the site's owner.
2. HOW TO USE SOFTWARE THAT YOUR COMPANY WON'T LET YOU DOWNLOAD
The Problem: Many companies require that employees get permission from the IT department to download software. But that can be problematic if you're trying to download software that your IT department has blacklisted.
The Trick: There are two easy ways around this: finding Web-based alternatives or bringing in the software on an outside device.
The first is easier. Say your company won't let you download the popular AOL Instant Messenger program, from Time Warner Inc.'s AOL unit. You can still instant-message with colleagues and friends using a Web-based version of the service called AIM Express (AIM.com/aimexpress.adp). There's also Google Inc.'s instant-messaging service, Google Talk, accessible at Google.com/talk. There are Web-based equivalents of software such as music players and videogames, too -- typically, skimpier versions with fewer features than the regular programs.
The other approach to this problem is more involved but gives you access to actual software programs on your computer. All three of our experts pointed to a company called Rare Ideas LLC (RareIdeas.com), which offers free versions of popular programs such as Firefox and OpenOffice. You can download the software onto a portable device like an iPod or a USB stick, through a service called Portable Apps (PortableApps.com). Then hook the device up to your work computer, and you're ready to go. (But if your company blocks you from using external devices, you're out of luck.)
The Risk: Using Web-based services can be a strain on your company's resources. And bringing in software on outside devices can present a security problem. IT departments like to keep track of all the software used by employees, so that if a bug or other security problem arises, they can easily put fixes in place. That's not the case if you've brought the program in on your own.
Another thing to keep in mind: Some less reputable software programs, especially underground file-sharing programs, could come loaded with spyware and make it possible for your own files to leak onto the Web.
How to Stay Safe: If you bring in software on an outside device, says Mr. Lobel, make sure you at least tweak the security settings on your computer's antivirus software so that it scans the device for potential threats. That's easy to do, usually through an Options or Settings menu. Likewise, if you use a file-sharing service, set it up so that others can't access your own files, also through an Options or Settings area.
3. HOW TO VISIT THE WEB SITES YOUR COMPANY BLOCKS
The Problem: Companies often block employees from visiting certain sites -- ranging from the really nefarious (porn) to probably bad (gambling) to mostly innocuous (Web-based email services).
The Trick: Even if your company won't let you visit those sites by typing their Web addresses into your browser, you can still sometimes sneak your way onto them. You travel to a third-party site, called a proxy, and type the Web address you want into a search box. Then the proxy site travels to the site you want and displays it for you -- so you can see the site without actually visiting it. Proxy.org, for one, features a list of more than 4,000 proxies.
Another way to accomplish the same thing, from Mr. Frauenfelder and Ms. Trapani: Use Google's translation service, asking it to do an English-to-English translation. Just enter this -- Google.com/translate?langpair=en|en&u=www.blockedsite.com -- replacing "blockedsite.com" with the Web address of the site you want to visit. Google effectively acts as a proxy, calling up the site for you.
The Risk: If you use a proxy to, say, catch up on email or watch a YouTube video, the main risk is getting caught by your boss. But there are scarier security risks: Online bad guys sometimes buy Web addresses that are misspellings of popular sites, then use them to infect visitors' computers, warns Mr. Lobel. Companies often block those sites, too -- but you won't be protected from them if you use a proxy.
How to Stay Safe: Don't make a habit of using proxies for all your Web surfing. Use them only to visit specific sites that your company blocks for productivity-related reasons -- say, YouTube. And watch your spelling.
4. HOW TO CLEAR YOUR TRACKS ON YOUR WORK LAPTOP
The Problem: If you use a company-owned laptop at home, chances are you use it for personal tasks: planning family vacations, shopping for beach books, organizing online photo albums and so on. Many companies reserve the right to monitor all that activity, because the laptops are technically their property. So what happens if your -- ahem -- friend accidentally surfs onto a porn site or does a Web search for some embarrassing ailment?
The Trick: The latest versions of the Internet Explorer and Firefox browsers both make it easy to clear your tracks. In IE7, click on Tools, then Delete Browsing History. From there, you can either delete all your history by clicking Delete All or choose one or a few kinds of data to delete. In Firefox, just hit Ctrl-Shift-Del -- or click Clear Private Data under the Tools menu.
The Risk: Even if you clear your tracks, you still face risks from roaming all over the Web. You could unintentionally install spyware on your computer from visiting a sketchy site or get your boss involved in legal problems for your behavior. If you're caught, it could mean (at best) embarrassment or (at worst) joblessness.
How to Stay Safe: Clear your private data as often as possible. Better yet, don't use your work computer to do anything you wouldn't want your boss to know about.
5. HOW TO SEARCH FOR YOUR WORK DOCUMENTS FROM HOME
The Problem: You're catching up on work late at night or over the weekend -- but the documents you need to search through are stuck on your office PC.
The Trick: Google, Microsoft, Yahoo and IAC/InterActiveCorp's Ask unit have all released software that lets you quickly search your desktop documents. On top of that, some will let you search through documents saved on one computer from another one. How does it work? The search company keeps a copy of your documents on its own server. So it can scan those copies when you do a search remotely.
To use Google's software -- among the most popular -- follow these steps on both your work and home PC. First, you'll need to set up a Google account on both machines by visiting Google.com/accounts. (Be sure to use the same account on both computers.) Then go to Desktop.Google.com to download the search software. When it's up and running -- again, do this on both machines -- click on Desktop Preferences, then Google Account Features. From there, check the box next to Search Across Computers. After that point, any document you open on either machine will be copied to Google's servers -- and will be searchable from either machine.
The Risk: Corporate technology managers offer this nightmare scenario: You've saved top-secret financial information on your work PC. You set up desktop-search software so that you can access those files when working from home on your laptop. Then you lose your laptop. Uh-oh.
Getting hold of your company's internal documents could give others insight into your plans, and losing certain information could have legal repercussions. In particular, myriad state laws regulate how a company has to react when it loses private information about customers or employees; most require notifying those people about the breach in writing. Sending those notifications can be costly for your company -- not to mention damaging to its reputation.
On top of that threat, researchers have found vulnerabilities in Google's desktop-search software that could let a hacker trick a user into giving up access to files, says Mr. Schmugar of McAfee. (Those vulnerabilities have since been fixed, but more could crop up, he says.)
Matt Glotzbach, product management director for Google Enterprise, says there are bound to be vulnerabilities in any software and that, to the best of his knowledge, none of the Google Desktop vulnerabilities were exploited by hackers. He adds that when Google finds out about a vulnerability, it quickly fixes it and notifies users.
How to Stay Safe: If you have any files on your work PC that shouldn't be made public, ask your IT administrator to help you set up Google Desktop to avoid accidental leaks.
6. HOW TO STORE WORK FILES ONLINE
The Problem: Desktop search aside, most people who often work away from the office have come up with their own solution to getting access to work files. They save them on a disk or a portable device and then plug it into a home computer. Or they store the files on the company network, then access the network remotely. But portable devices can be cumbersome, and company-network connections can be slow and unreliable.
The Trick: Use an online-storage service from the likes of Box.net Inc., Streamload Inc. or AOL-owned Xdrive. (Box.net also offers its service inside the social-networking site Facebook.) Most offer some free storage, from one to five gigabytes, and charge a few dollars a month for premium packages with extra space. Another guerrilla storage solution is to email files to your private, Web-based email account, such as Gmail or Hotmail.
The Risk: A bad guy could steal your password for one of these sites and quickly grab copies of your company's sensitive files.
How to Stay Safe: When you're thinking about storing a file online, ask yourself if it would be OK for that file to be splashed all over the Internet or sent to the CEO of your company's top rival. If so, go for it. If not, don't.
7. HOW TO KEEP YOUR PRIVACY WHEN USING WEB EMAIL
The Problem: Many companies now have the ability to track employees' emails, both on work email accounts and personal Web-based accounts, as well as IM conversations.
The Trick: When you send emails -- using either your work or personal email address -- you can encrypt them, so that only you and the recipient can read them. In Microsoft Outlook, click on Tools, then Options and choose the Security tab. There, you can enter a password -- and nobody can open a note from you without supplying it. (Of course, you'll have to tell people the code beforehand.)
For Web-based personal email, try this trick from Mr. Frauenfelder: When checking email, add an "s" to the end of the "http" in front of your email provider's Web address -- for instance, https://www.Gmail.com. This throws you into a secure session, so that nobody can track your email. Not all Web services may support this, however.
To encrypt IM conversations, meanwhile, try the IM service Trillian from Cerulean Studios LLC, which lets you connect to AOL Instant Messenger, Yahoo Messenger and others -- and lets you encrypt your IM conversations so that they can't be read.
The Risk: The main reason companies monitor email is to catch employees who are leaking confidential information. By using these tricks, you may set off false alarms and make it harder for the IT crew to manage real threats.
How to Stay Safe: Use these tricks only occasionally, instead of as a default.
8. HOW TO ACCESS YOUR WORK EMAIL REMOTELY WHEN YOUR COMPANY WON'T SPRING FOR A BLACKBERRY
The Problem: Anyone without a BlackBerry knows the feeling: There's a lull in the conversation when you're out to dinner or an after-work beer, and everyone reaches for their pocket to grab their BlackBerry, leaving you alone to stir your drink.
The Trick: You, too, can stay up to date on work email, using any number of consumer-oriented hand-held devices. Just set up your work email so that all your emails get forwarded to your personal email account.
In Microsoft Outlook, you can do this by right-clicking on any email, choosing Create Rule, and asking that all your email be forwarded to another address. Then, set up your hand-held to receive your personal email, by following instructions from the service provider for your hand-held. (That's the company that sends you your bill.)
The Risk: Now, not only can hackers break into your personal account by going online on a computer, they can also break into it by exploiting security vulnerabilities on your mobile device.
How to Stay Safe: There's a kosher way to access work email on some devices, by getting passwords and other information from your IT department.
9. HOW TO ACCESS YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ON YOUR BLACKBERRY
The Problem: If you do have a BlackBerry, you've probably got a different problem: You want to get your personal email just as easily as work email.
The Trick: Look at the Settings area of your personal email account, and make sure you've enabled POP -- Post Office Protocol -- a method used to retrieve email from elsewhere. Then log in to the Web site for your BlackBerry service provider. Click on the Profile button, look for the Email Accounts section and click on Other Email Accounts. Then click Add Account and enter the information for your Web-based email account. Now your personal emails will pop up on the same screen as your company email.
The Risk: Your company probably uses a whole bunch of security technology to keep viruses and spies out of your files. When you receive personal email on your BlackBerry, it's coming to you without passing through your company's firewall. That means viruses or spyware could sneak onto your BlackBerry via a personal email, says Mr. Schmugar of McAfee. Worse yet, he says, when you plug your BlackBerry into your work computer, there's a chance that the malicious software could jump onto your hard drive.
How to Stay Safe: Cross your fingers and hope that your personal email provider is doing a decent job weeding out viruses, spyware and other intruders. (Chances are, it is.)
10. HOW TO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE WORKING
The Problem: You're doing some vital Web surfing and your boss turns the corner. What do you do?
The Trick: Hit Alt-Tab to quickly minimize one window (say, the one where you're browsing ESPN.com) and maximize another (like that presentation that's due today).
The Risk: The good news is that there are no known security risks.
How to Stay Safe: Get back to work.
--Ms. Vara is a staff reporter in The Wall Street Journal's San Francisco bureau.
Write to Vauhini Vara at vauhini.vara@wsj.com
Witty repetitions
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
Is there another word for synonym?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
Is there another word for synonym?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
The Five Levels of Drinking
by Comedian Larry Miller
LEVEL 1: It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool.".
LEVEL 2: It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".
LEVEL 3: One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like, "Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool.".
LEVEL 4: Two in the morning. And the devil is bar tending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an....after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ... cool.
LEVEL 5: Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say... "Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!"
LEVEL 1: It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool.".
LEVEL 2: It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".
LEVEL 3: One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like, "Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool.".
LEVEL 4: Two in the morning. And the devil is bar tending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an....after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ... cool.
LEVEL 5: Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say... "Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!"
Writing About -- Fear and Phobias
"It’s what people know about themselves that makes them afraid”, those words were spoken by Clint Eastwood in the movie, High Plains Drifter.
Perhaps all courage comes from a sense of conviction, self worth and faith in themselves. Then again there is this, A Hero may sometimes be a desperato but a bully is always a coward. Some of the great feats of courage have been borne out of desperation , even hoplessness. Some attach themselves to a higher cause.
Still there are those pesky fears and Phobias. SO where do they come from? Many neuroscientists believe that there is a clear involvement of biological factors. For example, functional brain imaging studies have shown that there is an increased blood flow and cell metabolic actiity on the right side of the brain in phobic patients. It has also been demonstrated that identical twins may develop the same type of phobia, even when they were reared separately soon after birth, and educated in different places.
Whoever suffers phobia feels an enormous fear every time he or she encounters (or even imagines...) the original phobic stimuli which unleash the panic attack. At least four of the following symptoms are usually observed:
Breathlessness,
heart fluttering (palpitation),
chest pain or pressure,
a sensation of suffocation or drowning,
dizziness and vertigo,
a sensation of detachment from reality ("air head"),
tingling sensations in several part of the body,
heat or cold waves,
sweating,
dry mouth,
a sensation of fainting,
trembling or shaking,
a fear of dying or becoming mad,
or losing control.
Perhaps all courage comes from a sense of conviction, self worth and faith in themselves. Then again there is this, A Hero may sometimes be a desperato but a bully is always a coward. Some of the great feats of courage have been borne out of desperation , even hoplessness. Some attach themselves to a higher cause.
Still there are those pesky fears and Phobias. SO where do they come from? Many neuroscientists believe that there is a clear involvement of biological factors. For example, functional brain imaging studies have shown that there is an increased blood flow and cell metabolic actiity on the right side of the brain in phobic patients. It has also been demonstrated that identical twins may develop the same type of phobia, even when they were reared separately soon after birth, and educated in different places.
Whoever suffers phobia feels an enormous fear every time he or she encounters (or even imagines...) the original phobic stimuli which unleash the panic attack. At least four of the following symptoms are usually observed:
Breathlessness,
heart fluttering (palpitation),
chest pain or pressure,
a sensation of suffocation or drowning,
dizziness and vertigo,
a sensation of detachment from reality ("air head"),
tingling sensations in several part of the body,
heat or cold waves,
sweating,
dry mouth,
a sensation of fainting,
trembling or shaking,
a fear of dying or becoming mad,
or losing control.
Timeline - more info
September 29, 1888
Mercedes-Benz, U.S.A.
Daimler cars managed to make it to New York long before other imports, thanks to William Steinway. Steinway, a car enthusiast, concluded licensing negotiations with Gottlieb Daimler on this day, gaining permission to manufacture Daimler cars in the U.S. He founded the "Daimler Motor Company" and began producing Daimler engines, as well as importing Daimler boats, trucks, and other equipment to the North American market. Still, the U.S. was just a small portion of Daimler's market, and when he introduced a new line in 1901, he christened it Mercedes because he feared the German-sounding Daimler would not sell well in France.
September 30, 1889
Wyoming legislators write the first state constitution to grant women the vote
On this day in 1889, the Wyoming state convention approves a constitution that includes a provision granting women the right to vote. Formally admitted into the union the following year, Wyoming thus became the first state in the history of the nation to allow its female citizens to vote.
That the isolated western state of Wyoming should be the first to accept women's suffrage was a surprise. Leading suffragists like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were Easterners, and they assumed that their own more progressive home states would be among the first to respond to the campaign for women's suffrage. Yet the people and politicians of the growing number of new Western states proved far more supportive than those in the East.
In 1848, the legislature in Washington Territory became the first to introduce a women's suffrage bill. Though the Washington bill was narrowly defeated, similar legislation succeeded elsewhere, and Wyoming Territory was the first to give women the vote in 1869, quickly followed by Utah Territory (1870) and Washington Territory (1883). As with Wyoming, when these territories became states they preserved women's suffrage.
By 1914, the contrast between East and West had become striking. All of the states west of the Rockies had women's suffrage, while no state did east of the Rockies, except Kansas. Why the regional distinction? Some historians suggest western men may have been rewarding pioneer women for their critical role in settling the West. Others argue the West had a more egalitarian spirit, or that the scarcity of women in some western regions made men more appreciative of the women who were there while hoping the vote might attract more.
Whatever the reasons, while the Old West is usually thought of as a man's world, a wild land that was "no place for a woman," Westerners proved far more willing than other Americans to create states where women were welcomed as full and equal citizens.
October 4, 1861
Lincoln watches a balloon ascension
President Abraham Lincoln observes a balloon demonstration near Washington, D.C. Both Confederate and Union armies experimented with using balloons to gather military intelligence in the early stages of the war, but the balloons proved to be dangerous and impractical for most situations.
Though balloons were not new, many felt that their military applications had yet to be realized. Even before the firing on Fort Sumter in April 1861, several firms approached the U.S. War Department concerning contracts for balloons. The primary figure in the Union's experiment with balloons was Thaddeus S. C. Lowe, an inventor who had been experimenting with hydrogen balloons for three years before the war. He built a large craft and intended to make a transatlantic crossing, but his tests were failures. In April 1861, he conducted trials around Cincinnati, Ohio, with the support of the Smithsonian Institute. On April 19, he sailed 900 miles in nine hours, floating all the way to Unionville, South Carolina. He was jailed twice by Confederates who were convinced he was a Union spy.
Lowe became the chief of army aeronautics after the First Battle of Bull Run, and he served effectively during the Peninsular campaign of 1862. With the view provided from his balloon, he discovered that the Confederates had evacuated Yorktown and he provided important intelligence during the Battle of Fair Oaks.
Lowe enjoyed a good working relationship with George McClellan, commander of the Army of the Potomac, but experienced difficulty with McClellan's successors, Generals Ambrose Burnside and Joseph Hooker, who were not convinced that balloon observations provided accurate information. Lowe became increasingly frustrated with the army, particularly after his pay was cut by 40 percent in 1863. Feeling that army commanders did not take his service seriously, Lowe resigned just after the Battle of Chancellorsville in May 1863. The Balloon Corps was disbanded three months later, and the U.S. Army did not use them again until 1892.
October 5, 1892
The Dalton gang performs their last robbery attempt
The Dalton gang attempts to rob two banks simultaneously in Coffeyville, Kansas, but meets resistance from townspeople, who wind up killing four of the five bandits. Emmett Dalton, the sole survivor, returned to the site of the crime nearly 40 years later and offered a caution to would-be thieves: "The biggest fool on earth is the one who thinks he can beat the law, that crime can be made to pay. It never paid and it never will and that was the one big lesson of the Coffeyville raid."
Grat, Bob, and Emmett Dalton turned to a life of crime when they became bored with their other career possibilities on the Western frontier. They started with cattle rustling and moved on to armed robbery in 1890. Their younger brother, Bill, soon joined their endeavors. On February 6, 1891, Bob, Grat, and Bill tried to rob a Southern Pacific train heading to Los Angeles, California. Despite shooting and wounding a guard, the brothers didn't score any money, and Bill and Grat were captured.
Although Bill managed to escape the charges, Grat received a 20-year sentence. However, he escaped from the train that was taking him to prison, and all the brothers headed back to the Midwest together, where they recruited the best gunmen they could find and began an impressive crime spree. They got $14,000 from a train robbery in Oklahoma and then $19,000 from a bank.
Eugenia Moore, who was engaged to Bob, was in charge of scouting out the best robbery targets for the gang. She was adept at chatting with bankers and railroad workers in order to find out when large sums of money were to be transported. For over a year, the Dalton gang completed a streak of successful robberies that were designed to bring them enough money to retire. However, Eugenia died of cancer, and the gang soon made a huge blunder.
Emmett, Grat, Bob, Dick Broadwell, and Bill Power rode into Coffeyville, Kansas, wearing false beards and carrying rifles. As Grat, Broadwell, and Power walked into the Condon Bank and Bob and Emmett entered the First National Bank, one of town's citizens recognized the Daltons and quickly called the town's men to action. (Some sources report that Moore was still alive when the gang went to Coffeyville; others report that there were in fact six robbers that day, not five, and that Moore was the sixth.)
As the gang was about to make their getaway, a throng of armed townsfolk surprised them. The five thieves shot their way to the alley where their horses were waiting and tried to defend themselves, but they were greatly outnumbered. In the epic gunfight that ensued, all five men were shot, but not before killing a number of the makeshift vigilantes, many of whom had been armed for the fight by a local hardware store. Dick Broadwell made it out of the alley on his horse but died a few miles outside of town.
Emmett Dalton, who had been shot more than 20 times, was the only one that managed to survive. He received a life sentence for the murder of the men who tried to stop him but was released a mere 15 years later. He lived a peaceful and law-abiding life until his death in 1937. In 1894, law enforcement officials shot his younger brother Bill, who was not at the fateful Coffeyville robbery, as he tried to escape deputy marshals who were trying to arrest him.
October 5, 1892
The Dalton Gang is wiped out in Coffeyville, Kansas
On this day in 1892, the famous Dalton Gang attempts the daring daylight robbery of two Coffeyville, Kansas, banks at the same time. But if the gang members believed the sheer audacity of their plan would bring them success, they were sadly mistaken. Instead, they were nearly all killed by quick-acting townspeople.
For a year and a half, the Dalton Gang had terrorized the state of Oklahoma, mostly concentrating on train holdups. Though the gang had more murders than loot to their credit, they had managed to successfully evade the best efforts of Oklahoma law officers to bring them to justice. Perhaps success bred overconfidence, but whatever their reasons, the gang members decided to try their hand at robbing not just one bank, but at robbing the First National and Condon Banks in their old hometown of Coffeyville at the same time.
After riding quietly into town, the men tied their horses to a fence in an alley near the two banks and split up. Two of the Dalton brothers-Bob and Emmett-headed for the First National, while Grat Dalton led Dick Broadwell and Bill Powers in to the Condon Bank. Unfortunately for the Daltons, someone recognized one of the gang members and began quietly spreading the word that the town banks were being robbed. Thus, while Bob and Emmett were stuffing money into a grain sack, the townspeople ran for their guns and quickly surrounded the two banks. When the Dalton brothers walked out of the bank, a hail of bullets forced them back into the building. Regrouping, they tried to flee out the back door of the bank, but the townspeople were waiting for them there as well.
Meanwhile, in the Condon Bank a brave cashier had managed to delay Grat Dalton, Powers, and Broadwell with the classic claim that the vault was on a time lock and couldn't be opened. That gave the townspeople enough time to gather force, and suddenly a bullet smashed through the bank window and hit Broadwell in the arm. Quickly scooping up $1,500 in loose cash, the three men bolted out the door and fled down a back alley. But like their friends next door, they were immediately shot and killed, this time by a local livery stable owner and a barber.
When the gun battle was over, the people of Coffeyville had destroyed the Dalton Gang, killing every member except for Emmett Dalton. But their victory was not without a price: the Dalton's took four townspeople to their graves with them. After recovering from serious wounds, Emmett was tried and sentenced to life in prison. After 14 years he won parole, and he eventually leveraged his cachet as a former Wild West bandit into a position as a screenwriter in Hollywood. Several years after moving to California, he died at the age of 66 in 1937.
1866 : First U.S. train robbery
On this day in 1866, the Reno gang carries out the first robbery of a
moving train in the U.S., making off with over $10,000 from an Ohio &
Mississippi train in Jackson County, Indiana. Prior to this innovation
in crime, holdups had taken place only on trains sitting at stations
or freight yards.
This new method of sticking up moving trains in remote locations low
on law enforcement soon became popular in the American West, where the
recently constructed transcontinental and regional railroads made
attractive targets. With the western economy booming, trains often
carried large stashes of cash and precious minerals. The sparsely
populated landscape provided bandits with numerous isolated areas
perfect for stopping trains, as well as plenty of places to hide from
the law. Some gangs, like Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch, found robbing
trains so easy and lucrative that, for a time, they made it their
criminal specialty. Railroad owners eventually got wise and fought
back, protecting their trains' valuables with large safes, armed
guards and even specially fortified boxcars. Consequently, by the late
1800s, robbing trains had turned into an increasingly tough and
dangerous job.
As for the Reno gang, which consisted of the four Reno brothers and
their associates, their reign came to an end in 1868 when they all
were finally captured after committing a series of train robberies and
other criminal offenses. In December of that year, a mob stormed the
Indiana jail where the bandits were being held and meted out vigilante
justice, hanging brothers Frank, Simeon and William Reno (their
brother John had been caught earlier and was already serving time in a
different prison) and fellow gang member Charlie Anderson.
Mercedes-Benz, U.S.A.
Daimler cars managed to make it to New York long before other imports, thanks to William Steinway. Steinway, a car enthusiast, concluded licensing negotiations with Gottlieb Daimler on this day, gaining permission to manufacture Daimler cars in the U.S. He founded the "Daimler Motor Company" and began producing Daimler engines, as well as importing Daimler boats, trucks, and other equipment to the North American market. Still, the U.S. was just a small portion of Daimler's market, and when he introduced a new line in 1901, he christened it Mercedes because he feared the German-sounding Daimler would not sell well in France.
September 30, 1889
Wyoming legislators write the first state constitution to grant women the vote
On this day in 1889, the Wyoming state convention approves a constitution that includes a provision granting women the right to vote. Formally admitted into the union the following year, Wyoming thus became the first state in the history of the nation to allow its female citizens to vote.
That the isolated western state of Wyoming should be the first to accept women's suffrage was a surprise. Leading suffragists like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were Easterners, and they assumed that their own more progressive home states would be among the first to respond to the campaign for women's suffrage. Yet the people and politicians of the growing number of new Western states proved far more supportive than those in the East.
In 1848, the legislature in Washington Territory became the first to introduce a women's suffrage bill. Though the Washington bill was narrowly defeated, similar legislation succeeded elsewhere, and Wyoming Territory was the first to give women the vote in 1869, quickly followed by Utah Territory (1870) and Washington Territory (1883). As with Wyoming, when these territories became states they preserved women's suffrage.
By 1914, the contrast between East and West had become striking. All of the states west of the Rockies had women's suffrage, while no state did east of the Rockies, except Kansas. Why the regional distinction? Some historians suggest western men may have been rewarding pioneer women for their critical role in settling the West. Others argue the West had a more egalitarian spirit, or that the scarcity of women in some western regions made men more appreciative of the women who were there while hoping the vote might attract more.
Whatever the reasons, while the Old West is usually thought of as a man's world, a wild land that was "no place for a woman," Westerners proved far more willing than other Americans to create states where women were welcomed as full and equal citizens.
October 4, 1861
Lincoln watches a balloon ascension
President Abraham Lincoln observes a balloon demonstration near Washington, D.C. Both Confederate and Union armies experimented with using balloons to gather military intelligence in the early stages of the war, but the balloons proved to be dangerous and impractical for most situations.
Though balloons were not new, many felt that their military applications had yet to be realized. Even before the firing on Fort Sumter in April 1861, several firms approached the U.S. War Department concerning contracts for balloons. The primary figure in the Union's experiment with balloons was Thaddeus S. C. Lowe, an inventor who had been experimenting with hydrogen balloons for three years before the war. He built a large craft and intended to make a transatlantic crossing, but his tests were failures. In April 1861, he conducted trials around Cincinnati, Ohio, with the support of the Smithsonian Institute. On April 19, he sailed 900 miles in nine hours, floating all the way to Unionville, South Carolina. He was jailed twice by Confederates who were convinced he was a Union spy.
Lowe became the chief of army aeronautics after the First Battle of Bull Run, and he served effectively during the Peninsular campaign of 1862. With the view provided from his balloon, he discovered that the Confederates had evacuated Yorktown and he provided important intelligence during the Battle of Fair Oaks.
Lowe enjoyed a good working relationship with George McClellan, commander of the Army of the Potomac, but experienced difficulty with McClellan's successors, Generals Ambrose Burnside and Joseph Hooker, who were not convinced that balloon observations provided accurate information. Lowe became increasingly frustrated with the army, particularly after his pay was cut by 40 percent in 1863. Feeling that army commanders did not take his service seriously, Lowe resigned just after the Battle of Chancellorsville in May 1863. The Balloon Corps was disbanded three months later, and the U.S. Army did not use them again until 1892.
October 5, 1892
The Dalton gang performs their last robbery attempt
The Dalton gang attempts to rob two banks simultaneously in Coffeyville, Kansas, but meets resistance from townspeople, who wind up killing four of the five bandits. Emmett Dalton, the sole survivor, returned to the site of the crime nearly 40 years later and offered a caution to would-be thieves: "The biggest fool on earth is the one who thinks he can beat the law, that crime can be made to pay. It never paid and it never will and that was the one big lesson of the Coffeyville raid."
Grat, Bob, and Emmett Dalton turned to a life of crime when they became bored with their other career possibilities on the Western frontier. They started with cattle rustling and moved on to armed robbery in 1890. Their younger brother, Bill, soon joined their endeavors. On February 6, 1891, Bob, Grat, and Bill tried to rob a Southern Pacific train heading to Los Angeles, California. Despite shooting and wounding a guard, the brothers didn't score any money, and Bill and Grat were captured.
Although Bill managed to escape the charges, Grat received a 20-year sentence. However, he escaped from the train that was taking him to prison, and all the brothers headed back to the Midwest together, where they recruited the best gunmen they could find and began an impressive crime spree. They got $14,000 from a train robbery in Oklahoma and then $19,000 from a bank.
Eugenia Moore, who was engaged to Bob, was in charge of scouting out the best robbery targets for the gang. She was adept at chatting with bankers and railroad workers in order to find out when large sums of money were to be transported. For over a year, the Dalton gang completed a streak of successful robberies that were designed to bring them enough money to retire. However, Eugenia died of cancer, and the gang soon made a huge blunder.
Emmett, Grat, Bob, Dick Broadwell, and Bill Power rode into Coffeyville, Kansas, wearing false beards and carrying rifles. As Grat, Broadwell, and Power walked into the Condon Bank and Bob and Emmett entered the First National Bank, one of town's citizens recognized the Daltons and quickly called the town's men to action. (Some sources report that Moore was still alive when the gang went to Coffeyville; others report that there were in fact six robbers that day, not five, and that Moore was the sixth.)
As the gang was about to make their getaway, a throng of armed townsfolk surprised them. The five thieves shot their way to the alley where their horses were waiting and tried to defend themselves, but they were greatly outnumbered. In the epic gunfight that ensued, all five men were shot, but not before killing a number of the makeshift vigilantes, many of whom had been armed for the fight by a local hardware store. Dick Broadwell made it out of the alley on his horse but died a few miles outside of town.
Emmett Dalton, who had been shot more than 20 times, was the only one that managed to survive. He received a life sentence for the murder of the men who tried to stop him but was released a mere 15 years later. He lived a peaceful and law-abiding life until his death in 1937. In 1894, law enforcement officials shot his younger brother Bill, who was not at the fateful Coffeyville robbery, as he tried to escape deputy marshals who were trying to arrest him.
October 5, 1892
The Dalton Gang is wiped out in Coffeyville, Kansas
On this day in 1892, the famous Dalton Gang attempts the daring daylight robbery of two Coffeyville, Kansas, banks at the same time. But if the gang members believed the sheer audacity of their plan would bring them success, they were sadly mistaken. Instead, they were nearly all killed by quick-acting townspeople.
For a year and a half, the Dalton Gang had terrorized the state of Oklahoma, mostly concentrating on train holdups. Though the gang had more murders than loot to their credit, they had managed to successfully evade the best efforts of Oklahoma law officers to bring them to justice. Perhaps success bred overconfidence, but whatever their reasons, the gang members decided to try their hand at robbing not just one bank, but at robbing the First National and Condon Banks in their old hometown of Coffeyville at the same time.
After riding quietly into town, the men tied their horses to a fence in an alley near the two banks and split up. Two of the Dalton brothers-Bob and Emmett-headed for the First National, while Grat Dalton led Dick Broadwell and Bill Powers in to the Condon Bank. Unfortunately for the Daltons, someone recognized one of the gang members and began quietly spreading the word that the town banks were being robbed. Thus, while Bob and Emmett were stuffing money into a grain sack, the townspeople ran for their guns and quickly surrounded the two banks. When the Dalton brothers walked out of the bank, a hail of bullets forced them back into the building. Regrouping, they tried to flee out the back door of the bank, but the townspeople were waiting for them there as well.
Meanwhile, in the Condon Bank a brave cashier had managed to delay Grat Dalton, Powers, and Broadwell with the classic claim that the vault was on a time lock and couldn't be opened. That gave the townspeople enough time to gather force, and suddenly a bullet smashed through the bank window and hit Broadwell in the arm. Quickly scooping up $1,500 in loose cash, the three men bolted out the door and fled down a back alley. But like their friends next door, they were immediately shot and killed, this time by a local livery stable owner and a barber.
When the gun battle was over, the people of Coffeyville had destroyed the Dalton Gang, killing every member except for Emmett Dalton. But their victory was not without a price: the Dalton's took four townspeople to their graves with them. After recovering from serious wounds, Emmett was tried and sentenced to life in prison. After 14 years he won parole, and he eventually leveraged his cachet as a former Wild West bandit into a position as a screenwriter in Hollywood. Several years after moving to California, he died at the age of 66 in 1937.
1866 : First U.S. train robbery
On this day in 1866, the Reno gang carries out the first robbery of a
moving train in the U.S., making off with over $10,000 from an Ohio &
Mississippi train in Jackson County, Indiana. Prior to this innovation
in crime, holdups had taken place only on trains sitting at stations
or freight yards.
This new method of sticking up moving trains in remote locations low
on law enforcement soon became popular in the American West, where the
recently constructed transcontinental and regional railroads made
attractive targets. With the western economy booming, trains often
carried large stashes of cash and precious minerals. The sparsely
populated landscape provided bandits with numerous isolated areas
perfect for stopping trains, as well as plenty of places to hide from
the law. Some gangs, like Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch, found robbing
trains so easy and lucrative that, for a time, they made it their
criminal specialty. Railroad owners eventually got wise and fought
back, protecting their trains' valuables with large safes, armed
guards and even specially fortified boxcars. Consequently, by the late
1800s, robbing trains had turned into an increasingly tough and
dangerous job.
As for the Reno gang, which consisted of the four Reno brothers and
their associates, their reign came to an end in 1868 when they all
were finally captured after committing a series of train robberies and
other criminal offenses. In December of that year, a mob stormed the
Indiana jail where the bandits were being held and meted out vigilante
justice, hanging brothers Frank, Simeon and William Reno (their
brother John had been caught earlier and was already serving time in a
different prison) and fellow gang member Charlie Anderson.
Timeline info
In 1888, the Washington Monument officially opened to the general public.
In 1889, the first jukebox went into operation at the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco.
November 4, 1880 -- "Ka-ching!" -- Merchants around the world should pay special attention to this day. James and John Ritty of Dayton, Ohio, invented the very first cash register.
1881, the Los Angeles Times was first published.
November 8: General Interest -- 1895 : German scientist discovers X-rays
On this day in 1895, physicist Wilhelm Conrad Rontgen (1845-1923) becomes the first person to observe X-rays, a significant scientific advancement that would ultimately benefit a variety of fields, most of all medicine, by making the invisible visible. Rontgen's discovery occurred accidentally in his Wurzburg, Germany, lab, where he was testing whether cathode rays could pass through glass when he noticed a glow coming from a nearby chemically coated screen. He dubbed the rays that caused this glow X-rays because of their unknown nature.
X-rays are electromagnetic energy waves that act similarly to light rays, but at wavelengths approximately 1,000 times shorter than those of light. Rontgen holed up in his lab and conducted a series of experiments to better understand his discovery. He learned that X-rays penetrate human flesh but not higher-density substances such as bone or lead and that they can be photographed.
Rontgen's discovery was labeled a medical miracle and X-rays soon became an important diagnostic tool in medicine, allowing doctors to see inside the human body for the first time without surgery. In 1897, X-rays were first used on a military battlefield, during the Balkan War, to find bullets and broken bones inside patients.
Scientists were quick to realize the benefits of X-rays, but slower to comprehend the harmful effects of radiation. Initially, it was believed X-rays passed through flesh as harmlessly as light. However, within several years, researchers began to report cases of burns and skin damage after exposure to X-rays, and in 1904, Thomas Edison's assistant, Clarence Dally, who had worked extensively with X-rays, died of skin cancer. Dally's death caused some scientists to begin taking the risks of radiation more seriously, but they still weren't fully understood. During the 1930s, 40s and 50s, in fact, many American shoe stores featured shoe-fitting fluoroscopes that used to X-rays to enable customers to see the bones in their feet; it wasn't until the 1950s that this practice was determined to be risky business.
Wilhelm Rontgen received numerous accolades for his work, including the first Nobel Prize in physics in 1901, yet he remained modest and never tried to patent his discovery. Today, X-ray technology is widely used in medicine, material analysis and devices such as airport security scanners.
November 8, 1880
Sarah Bernhardt debuts in N.Y.
French actress Sarah Bernhardt makes her first appearance on the New York stage, in La Dame aux Camelias, by Alexandre Dumas. Berndhardt was born in Paris and became a stage sensation by her early 20s. By 1876, she was performing throughout Europe and the United States. In 1900, she began appearing in early silent films. She starred in several French hits, and her performance in Queen Elizabeth launched Paramount Studios (Paramount founder Adolph Zukor established the company with the fortune he made distributing Queen Elizabeth in the United States). Bernhardt remained in high demand for films throughout her 60s. She died at age 79 while working on a film, La Voyante.
November 8, 1887
Doc Holliday dies of tuberculosis
On this day, Doc Holliday--gunslinger, gambler, and occasional dentist--dies from tuberculosis.
Though he was perhaps most famous for his participation in the shootout at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, John Henry "Doc" Holliday earned his bad reputation well before that famous feud. Born in Georgia, Holliday was raised in the tradition of the southern gentleman. He earned his nickname when he graduated from the Pennsylvania College of Dental Surgery in 1872. However, shortly after embarking on a respectable career as a dentist in Atlanta, he developed a bad cough. Doctors diagnosed tuberculosis and advised a move to a more arid climate, so Holliday moved his practice to Dallas, Texas.
By all accounts, Holliday was a competent dentist with a successful practice. Unfortunately, cards interested him more than teeth, and he earned a reputation as a skilled poker and faro player. In 1875, Dallas police arrested Holliday for participating in a shootout. Thereafter, the once upstanding doctor began drifting between the booming Wild West towns of Denver, Cheyenne, Deadwood, and Dodge City, making his living at card tables and aggravating his tuberculosis with heavy drinking and late nights.
Holliday was famously friendly with Wyatt Earp, who believed that Holliday saved his life during a fight with cowboys. For his part, Holliday was a loyal friend to Earp, and stood by him during the 1881 shootout at the O.K. Corral and the bloody feud that followed.
In 1882, Holliday fled Arizona and returned to the life of a western drifter, gambler, and gunslinger. By 1887, his hard living had caught up to him, forcing him to seek treatment for his tuberculosis at a sanitarium in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. He died in his bed at only 36 years old.
In 1889, the first jukebox went into operation at the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco.
November 4, 1880 -- "Ka-ching!" -- Merchants around the world should pay special attention to this day. James and John Ritty of Dayton, Ohio, invented the very first cash register.
1881, the Los Angeles Times was first published.
November 8: General Interest -- 1895 : German scientist discovers X-rays
On this day in 1895, physicist Wilhelm Conrad Rontgen (1845-1923) becomes the first person to observe X-rays, a significant scientific advancement that would ultimately benefit a variety of fields, most of all medicine, by making the invisible visible. Rontgen's discovery occurred accidentally in his Wurzburg, Germany, lab, where he was testing whether cathode rays could pass through glass when he noticed a glow coming from a nearby chemically coated screen. He dubbed the rays that caused this glow X-rays because of their unknown nature.
X-rays are electromagnetic energy waves that act similarly to light rays, but at wavelengths approximately 1,000 times shorter than those of light. Rontgen holed up in his lab and conducted a series of experiments to better understand his discovery. He learned that X-rays penetrate human flesh but not higher-density substances such as bone or lead and that they can be photographed.
Rontgen's discovery was labeled a medical miracle and X-rays soon became an important diagnostic tool in medicine, allowing doctors to see inside the human body for the first time without surgery. In 1897, X-rays were first used on a military battlefield, during the Balkan War, to find bullets and broken bones inside patients.
Scientists were quick to realize the benefits of X-rays, but slower to comprehend the harmful effects of radiation. Initially, it was believed X-rays passed through flesh as harmlessly as light. However, within several years, researchers began to report cases of burns and skin damage after exposure to X-rays, and in 1904, Thomas Edison's assistant, Clarence Dally, who had worked extensively with X-rays, died of skin cancer. Dally's death caused some scientists to begin taking the risks of radiation more seriously, but they still weren't fully understood. During the 1930s, 40s and 50s, in fact, many American shoe stores featured shoe-fitting fluoroscopes that used to X-rays to enable customers to see the bones in their feet; it wasn't until the 1950s that this practice was determined to be risky business.
Wilhelm Rontgen received numerous accolades for his work, including the first Nobel Prize in physics in 1901, yet he remained modest and never tried to patent his discovery. Today, X-ray technology is widely used in medicine, material analysis and devices such as airport security scanners.
November 8, 1880
Sarah Bernhardt debuts in N.Y.
French actress Sarah Bernhardt makes her first appearance on the New York stage, in La Dame aux Camelias, by Alexandre Dumas. Berndhardt was born in Paris and became a stage sensation by her early 20s. By 1876, she was performing throughout Europe and the United States. In 1900, she began appearing in early silent films. She starred in several French hits, and her performance in Queen Elizabeth launched Paramount Studios (Paramount founder Adolph Zukor established the company with the fortune he made distributing Queen Elizabeth in the United States). Bernhardt remained in high demand for films throughout her 60s. She died at age 79 while working on a film, La Voyante.
November 8, 1887
Doc Holliday dies of tuberculosis
On this day, Doc Holliday--gunslinger, gambler, and occasional dentist--dies from tuberculosis.
Though he was perhaps most famous for his participation in the shootout at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, John Henry "Doc" Holliday earned his bad reputation well before that famous feud. Born in Georgia, Holliday was raised in the tradition of the southern gentleman. He earned his nickname when he graduated from the Pennsylvania College of Dental Surgery in 1872. However, shortly after embarking on a respectable career as a dentist in Atlanta, he developed a bad cough. Doctors diagnosed tuberculosis and advised a move to a more arid climate, so Holliday moved his practice to Dallas, Texas.
By all accounts, Holliday was a competent dentist with a successful practice. Unfortunately, cards interested him more than teeth, and he earned a reputation as a skilled poker and faro player. In 1875, Dallas police arrested Holliday for participating in a shootout. Thereafter, the once upstanding doctor began drifting between the booming Wild West towns of Denver, Cheyenne, Deadwood, and Dodge City, making his living at card tables and aggravating his tuberculosis with heavy drinking and late nights.
Holliday was famously friendly with Wyatt Earp, who believed that Holliday saved his life during a fight with cowboys. For his part, Holliday was a loyal friend to Earp, and stood by him during the 1881 shootout at the O.K. Corral and the bloody feud that followed.
In 1882, Holliday fled Arizona and returned to the life of a western drifter, gambler, and gunslinger. By 1887, his hard living had caught up to him, forcing him to seek treatment for his tuberculosis at a sanitarium in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. He died in his bed at only 36 years old.
Quotations
If we fear death we cannot fully live,
and if we fear life we will not find solace in death.
Every beginning has an ending and every ending has a beginning.
The Wheel of the Year turns as do the cycles of our lives.
-- unknown
A lover is easily found, but someone who
is everything at once and who would leave
you an orphan, a widow, and friendless, if he
left you, would be a miracle. You are that
miracle--I adore you!
Colette (1873-1954)
Young Lady of Paris
Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on
. . .
Give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on.
Louis Armstrong (1951)
"The Truth is not dependent on my ability to understand what is going on."
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
ONE STEP AND THEN ANOTHER
One step and then another,And the longest walk is ended;One stitch and then another,And the largest rent is mended.
One brick upon another,And the highest wall is made;One flake upon another,And the deepest snow is laid.
ANONYMOUS
Theology is [always/sometimes/never] fun so please could you tell me how would you describe the Kingdom of God in 5 words or less?
Wish you where here!
All writing is a form of prayer.
-- John Keats
“Why walk when you can swagger?” -- unknown
“Being an avid writer does not necessarily mean that you are good at it.” – Aimee DuPré
"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."
- Sir Winston Churchill
If the world were a logical place, men would be the
ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
and if we fear life we will not find solace in death.
Every beginning has an ending and every ending has a beginning.
The Wheel of the Year turns as do the cycles of our lives.
-- unknown
A lover is easily found, but someone who
is everything at once and who would leave
you an orphan, a widow, and friendless, if he
left you, would be a miracle. You are that
miracle--I adore you!
Colette (1873-1954)
Young Lady of Paris
Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on
. . .
Give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on.
Louis Armstrong (1951)
"The Truth is not dependent on my ability to understand what is going on."
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
ONE STEP AND THEN ANOTHER
One step and then another,And the longest walk is ended;One stitch and then another,And the largest rent is mended.
One brick upon another,And the highest wall is made;One flake upon another,And the deepest snow is laid.
ANONYMOUS
Theology is [always/sometimes/never] fun so please could you tell me how would you describe the Kingdom of God in 5 words or less?
Wish you where here!
All writing is a form of prayer.
-- John Keats
“Why walk when you can swagger?” -- unknown
“Being an avid writer does not necessarily mean that you are good at it.” – Aimee DuPré
"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."
- Sir Winston Churchill
If the world were a logical place, men would be the
ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
The Southern Test
This "test" is fun and, surprisingly, pretty accurate. It will take about 5 minutes. This will REALLY test your American English!!!
Enter your % in the subject line before passing this on!!!
This is fun, give it a try!
Click on link below:
The Yankee or Dixie quiz
http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html
Yankee or Dixie?
Check on your dialect and see if you might have crossed over to the "other side"! Simply click on the correct answer. As you go, the quiz will automatically interpret each answer to show you what your answer implies about you. When you are done, press Compute My Score. Your score will be calculated as a percentage: 0% is pure Yankee and 100% is pure Dixie.
Do not change your answer during the test as it will ruin the score. You may do this after scoring is calculated to see the other answers.
If you make a mistake, hit Clear below to restart the test!
I regret that I do not have time to entertain discussions about this test or negotiate changes. It is provided strictly as-is and for entertainment purposes only.
Be aware that television entertainment has a lot of northern dialect in it. This will have more of an influence on you than you expect.
This test is based on results from the Harvard Computer Society Dialect Survey of 30788 respondents.
1. How do you pronounce Aunt?
Like the word want
Like the word ant
Like the word caught
I pronounce them all the same
RESULT:
2. How do you pronounce caramel?
Two syllables ("car-ml")
Three syllables ("car-a-mel")
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
3. How do you pronounce creek?
Rhymes with meek
Rhymes with kick
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
4. How do you pronounce the second syllable in pajamas?
Rhymes with jam
Rhymes with father
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
5. How do you pronounce route?
Rhymes with clout
Rhymes with toot
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
6. Do you pronounce "cot" and "caught" the same way?
Yes
No
No answer
Don't know
RESULT:
7. How do you address a group of people?
You all
Youse
You'uns, yins
Y'all
RESULT:
8. What kind of sale is it on the front lawn?
Rummage sale
Tag sale
Yard sale
Garage sale
RESULT:
9. What's that long sandwich with lots of cold cuts and toppings?
Sub
Hoagie
Grinder
Hero
RESULT:
10. What's the tiny lobster that crawls around in creek bottoms?
Crawfish
Crayfish
Crawdad
I don't know
RESULT:
11. What do you call gym shoes?
Sneakers
Tennis shoes
Gymshoes
Runnning shoes
RESULT:
12. What is spread onto the tops of cakes?
Frosting
Icing
Don't know
No answer
RESULT:
13. What's that road along an Interstate highway?
Frontage road
Service road
Access road
Feeder
RESULT:
14. What do you put groceries in?
Bag
Sack
Poke
No answer
RESULT:
15. Where might you get water in a public building?
Water fountain
Drinking fountain
Bubbler
No answer
RESULT:
16. What is that bubbly carbonated drink called?
Soda
Coke
Pop
Soft drink
RESULT:
17. What's it called when you throw toilet paper over a house?
TP'ing
Toilet papering
Rolling
Papering
RESULT:
18. What's the night before Halloween called?
I don't use any word for this
Devil's night
Mischief night
Cabbage night
RESULT:
19. What's a drive through liquor store called?
I haven't heard of any such thing, or none of the below
Brew thru
Beverage barn
Party barn
RESULT:
20. What's that bug that rolls into a ball when you touch it? (NOTE: This is not a doodle bug (ant lion), which is the larvae of Myrmeleontidae spp.)
Roly poly
Pillbug
Potato bug
Sow bug
RESULT: 65% Dixie -- definately a Southern score!
Enter your % in the subject line before passing this on!!!
This is fun, give it a try!
Click on link below:
The Yankee or Dixie quiz
http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html
Yankee or Dixie?
Check on your dialect and see if you might have crossed over to the "other side"! Simply click on the correct answer. As you go, the quiz will automatically interpret each answer to show you what your answer implies about you. When you are done, press Compute My Score. Your score will be calculated as a percentage: 0% is pure Yankee and 100% is pure Dixie.
Do not change your answer during the test as it will ruin the score. You may do this after scoring is calculated to see the other answers.
If you make a mistake, hit Clear below to restart the test!
I regret that I do not have time to entertain discussions about this test or negotiate changes. It is provided strictly as-is and for entertainment purposes only.
Be aware that television entertainment has a lot of northern dialect in it. This will have more of an influence on you than you expect.
This test is based on results from the Harvard Computer Society Dialect Survey of 30788 respondents.
1. How do you pronounce Aunt?
Like the word want
Like the word ant
Like the word caught
I pronounce them all the same
RESULT:
2. How do you pronounce caramel?
Two syllables ("car-ml")
Three syllables ("car-a-mel")
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
3. How do you pronounce creek?
Rhymes with meek
Rhymes with kick
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
4. How do you pronounce the second syllable in pajamas?
Rhymes with jam
Rhymes with father
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
5. How do you pronounce route?
Rhymes with clout
Rhymes with toot
Either
Don't know
RESULT:
6. Do you pronounce "cot" and "caught" the same way?
Yes
No
No answer
Don't know
RESULT:
7. How do you address a group of people?
You all
Youse
You'uns, yins
Y'all
RESULT:
8. What kind of sale is it on the front lawn?
Rummage sale
Tag sale
Yard sale
Garage sale
RESULT:
9. What's that long sandwich with lots of cold cuts and toppings?
Sub
Hoagie
Grinder
Hero
RESULT:
10. What's the tiny lobster that crawls around in creek bottoms?
Crawfish
Crayfish
Crawdad
I don't know
RESULT:
11. What do you call gym shoes?
Sneakers
Tennis shoes
Gymshoes
Runnning shoes
RESULT:
12. What is spread onto the tops of cakes?
Frosting
Icing
Don't know
No answer
RESULT:
13. What's that road along an Interstate highway?
Frontage road
Service road
Access road
Feeder
RESULT:
14. What do you put groceries in?
Bag
Sack
Poke
No answer
RESULT:
15. Where might you get water in a public building?
Water fountain
Drinking fountain
Bubbler
No answer
RESULT:
16. What is that bubbly carbonated drink called?
Soda
Coke
Pop
Soft drink
RESULT:
17. What's it called when you throw toilet paper over a house?
TP'ing
Toilet papering
Rolling
Papering
RESULT:
18. What's the night before Halloween called?
I don't use any word for this
Devil's night
Mischief night
Cabbage night
RESULT:
19. What's a drive through liquor store called?
I haven't heard of any such thing, or none of the below
Brew thru
Beverage barn
Party barn
RESULT:
20. What's that bug that rolls into a ball when you touch it? (NOTE: This is not a doodle bug (ant lion), which is the larvae of Myrmeleontidae spp.)
Roly poly
Pillbug
Potato bug
Sow bug
RESULT: 65% Dixie -- definately a Southern score!
Here's the recognized format of an essay:
The 5 Paragraph Essay Format
The first paragraph:
1) Begins with a topic sentence that introduces a general theme.
2) Follows the topic sentence with sentences that narrow the focus of the theme, so that it is less general.
3) Introduces the author of the text you are writing about.
4) Introduces the title of that text.
5) Narrows the discussion of the topic by identifying an issue or problem.
6) Finishes by making a debatable claim a thesis statement, which is defined as a debatable point/claim. Always locate the thesis statement as the final sentence of the introductory paragraph, for students will be graded on this.
Body paragraphs:
1) Begin with topic sentences that clearly relate to the topic, or issue, or problem, that was identified in the introductory paragraph.
2) Sentences that elaborate on the issue, or problem discussed in the introductory paragraph, and also demonstrates a clear connection to the thesis statement.
3) A sentence or sentences that make a claim about the topic, issue, problem.
4) A quote from the text you are analyzing that supports your claim.
5) Your interpretation of that quote, which explains how you arrived at your conclusion, and also demonstrates a clear connection to the thesis statement.
Body paragraphs employ the One, Two, Three Rule, which is:
1) Make a debatable claim.
2) Support the claim with a quote.
3) Explain the connection between your claim and the quote, which means you make an intellectual conclusion.
Concluding paragraph:
1) Begins with a topic sentence that clearly relates to the topic, or issue, or problem, that was identified in the introductory paragraph.
2) Sentences that make connections with, or revisit, points from your introductory paragraph and your body paragraphs. These points now serve to close your argument.
3) A synthesis of these points that clearly demonstrates the focus of your thesis statement.
4) A final comment, or intellectual conclusion of sorts that points out the larger significance of your argument.
Things to avoid:
Do not use contractions.
Do not use first person pronouns such as “I” “me” “my.”
Do not use second person pronouns such as “you” “your” “yours.”
Do not engage in personal stories, meaning stories of your own life experiences, or the experiences of friends, family, and so on.
Do not begin sentences with conjunctions: but, and, or, nor, for, so, yet.
Do not pose any questions in any assignments. This means, quite literally, not to use questions. Make statements instead.
Do not quote the bible or allude to religion in any way.
Avoid any form of direct address to the reader, such as "think about the fact that . . ."
Avoid too casual of a prose style, such as sentences that begin with words like "well, sure, now, yes, no."
The first paragraph:
1) Begins with a topic sentence that introduces a general theme.
2) Follows the topic sentence with sentences that narrow the focus of the theme, so that it is less general.
3) Introduces the author of the text you are writing about.
4) Introduces the title of that text.
5) Narrows the discussion of the topic by identifying an issue or problem.
6) Finishes by making a debatable claim a thesis statement, which is defined as a debatable point/claim. Always locate the thesis statement as the final sentence of the introductory paragraph, for students will be graded on this.
Body paragraphs:
1) Begin with topic sentences that clearly relate to the topic, or issue, or problem, that was identified in the introductory paragraph.
2) Sentences that elaborate on the issue, or problem discussed in the introductory paragraph, and also demonstrates a clear connection to the thesis statement.
3) A sentence or sentences that make a claim about the topic, issue, problem.
4) A quote from the text you are analyzing that supports your claim.
5) Your interpretation of that quote, which explains how you arrived at your conclusion, and also demonstrates a clear connection to the thesis statement.
Body paragraphs employ the One, Two, Three Rule, which is:
1) Make a debatable claim.
2) Support the claim with a quote.
3) Explain the connection between your claim and the quote, which means you make an intellectual conclusion.
Concluding paragraph:
1) Begins with a topic sentence that clearly relates to the topic, or issue, or problem, that was identified in the introductory paragraph.
2) Sentences that make connections with, or revisit, points from your introductory paragraph and your body paragraphs. These points now serve to close your argument.
3) A synthesis of these points that clearly demonstrates the focus of your thesis statement.
4) A final comment, or intellectual conclusion of sorts that points out the larger significance of your argument.
Things to avoid:
Do not use contractions.
Do not use first person pronouns such as “I” “me” “my.”
Do not use second person pronouns such as “you” “your” “yours.”
Do not engage in personal stories, meaning stories of your own life experiences, or the experiences of friends, family, and so on.
Do not begin sentences with conjunctions: but, and, or, nor, for, so, yet.
Do not pose any questions in any assignments. This means, quite literally, not to use questions. Make statements instead.
Do not quote the bible or allude to religion in any way.
Avoid any form of direct address to the reader, such as "think about the fact that . . ."
Avoid too casual of a prose style, such as sentences that begin with words like "well, sure, now, yes, no."
TWENTY TRUTHS TO LIVE BY
1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so God can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so God can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
Early Warning Signs of an Abuser
*Makes fun of you in public saying he's only "joking"
*Insist on being exclusive early on *Insist on knowing your darkest secrets right away
*Spilling his guts to you right away
*Plays the "wounded puppy" card. (i.e. "All my ex's were evil! And I'm so scared to get hurt again.")
*Says no one has ever "understood" him as well as you
*Calls an ex-girlfriend "crazy" or "a bitch" *Says he hasn't been with a woman in a long time and you are the first he has been interested in
*Comes over when you say you're busy
*Calling repeatedly
*Expresses jealousy early on
*Asks many questions about your sexual history
*Invades your privacy: going through your purse/drawers
*Checks your caller id/asnwering machine
*Demands knowing where you are if you say no to a date
*He likes you because you seem "feisty"
*Interrupts you often
*Seems too eager to please
*Tickles/wrestles when you keep telling him to stop
*Doesn't talk much about his family or his past
*Doesn't talk about himself much.
*Still lives with his mother at an inappropriate age and she seems controlling or passive.
*Wants sex or other affection way too early
*Gives your friends 3rd degree each time he sees them
*Doesn't care if you're too tired to go out/talk/have sex
*Laughs at things not appropriate to laugh about
*Changes moods easily
*Doesn't let you hang around his friends much, if at all (because he may need to tell them how 'crazy' you are later)
*Paranoid you're going out with someone else
*Says he doesnt get along with members of his family.
***5 or more characteristics = High risk of abuse***
You may believe that you will never be a victim of such abuse, you may believe that you are too strong to be a victim. I know I did. But, there is a myth that bullies and abusers target the weak, in my experience the opposite is true, bullies and abusers will target you to make you as weak as they are.
*Insist on being exclusive early on *Insist on knowing your darkest secrets right away
*Spilling his guts to you right away
*Plays the "wounded puppy" card. (i.e. "All my ex's were evil! And I'm so scared to get hurt again.")
*Says no one has ever "understood" him as well as you
*Calls an ex-girlfriend "crazy" or "a bitch" *Says he hasn't been with a woman in a long time and you are the first he has been interested in
*Comes over when you say you're busy
*Calling repeatedly
*Expresses jealousy early on
*Asks many questions about your sexual history
*Invades your privacy: going through your purse/drawers
*Checks your caller id/asnwering machine
*Demands knowing where you are if you say no to a date
*He likes you because you seem "feisty"
*Interrupts you often
*Seems too eager to please
*Tickles/wrestles when you keep telling him to stop
*Doesn't talk much about his family or his past
*Doesn't talk about himself much.
*Still lives with his mother at an inappropriate age and she seems controlling or passive.
*Wants sex or other affection way too early
*Gives your friends 3rd degree each time he sees them
*Doesn't care if you're too tired to go out/talk/have sex
*Laughs at things not appropriate to laugh about
*Changes moods easily
*Doesn't let you hang around his friends much, if at all (because he may need to tell them how 'crazy' you are later)
*Paranoid you're going out with someone else
*Says he doesnt get along with members of his family.
***5 or more characteristics = High risk of abuse***
You may believe that you will never be a victim of such abuse, you may believe that you are too strong to be a victim. I know I did. But, there is a myth that bullies and abusers target the weak, in my experience the opposite is true, bullies and abusers will target you to make you as weak as they are.
Writing About -- Riding Sidesaddle
MJP: Any thoughts on riding sidesaddle? Though we modern folk tend to put that in the same category as corsets, I understand that it could be a very stable and secure way to ride.
SH: The biggest misconception about riding sidesaddle is that people think the rider sits sideways and then twists her torso to face front. That’s not so. She sits facing forward, so there’s no twist to the body. As far as stability in the sidesaddle, the rider’s seat wasn’t all that safe and secure until after the invention of the leaping horn, which is the horn that curves down, over the top of the rider’s left leg. Here’s a picture, to show the position of the legs and the body in a sidesaddle, including the leaping horn. There’s controversy as to when the leaping horn was invented, but the general consensus is that it was *after* the Regency.
SH: The biggest misconception about riding sidesaddle is that people think the rider sits sideways and then twists her torso to face front. That’s not so. She sits facing forward, so there’s no twist to the body. As far as stability in the sidesaddle, the rider’s seat wasn’t all that safe and secure until after the invention of the leaping horn, which is the horn that curves down, over the top of the rider’s left leg. Here’s a picture, to show the position of the legs and the body in a sidesaddle, including the leaping horn. There’s controversy as to when the leaping horn was invented, but the general consensus is that it was *after* the Regency.
Wild West Tech -- episode summaries
Wild West Tech : Revenge Tech. Aired on Saturday September 15 09:00 AM
It's said revenge is a dish best served cold, but in the Wild West, it was often served with a heaping helping of technology. From a liver-eating madman bent on avenging the death of a loved one to a teenage girl who switched her gender to exact vengeance on her husband's murderer, technology made a uniquely brutal form of frontier justice possible. Host David Carradine guides viewers through the most grizzly stories of score-settling the West ever saw.
Wild West Tech : Bounty Hunters. Aired on Saturday September 22 09:00 AM
They were the men who wouldn't take no for an answer, pursuing every lead, tracking every trail, and finally, bringing in their man--dead or alive. Follow along with some of the greatest trackers the West ever saw--men hunting human prey, with huge rewards waiting for those who succeeded. Join us as we separate Wild West fact from Hollywood fiction, and meet men like Charlie Siringo, who would travel tens of thousands of miles before he'd let a bail jumper go free; or Frank Hamer, who brought law to the most lawless parts of Texas, and death to the most notorious criminals of the early 20th Century. Hosted by David Carradine.
Wild West Tech : The Gunslingers. Aired on Saturday September 22 02:00 PM
In this series that provides an inside look at the inventions, advancements, concepts, and contraptions of America's Wild West past, host Keith Carradine highlights a special breed of man--the gunslinger--and his weapons of choice. Sometimes he wore a badge, sometimes he fought the law. But he always had a gun at his side--and the willingness to pull the trigger. Wild Bill Hickok, Jesse James, Wyatt Earp--we go behind the legends to see how these men were defined by the weapons they carried.
Wild West Tech : Gang Tech. Aired on Saturday September 22 03:00 PM
In the Wild West, no single lawman could possibly stop a gang of desperate outlaws. Host David Carradine recreates stories of the bravest and most brutal hoodlums that ever roamed the rowdy and reckless western wilderness. From the stagecoach bandits of gold-rush California to the bloody scalp-hunters of the Southwestern border, we explore the various personalities, motives, and crimes of each gang. And we examine the sophisticated arsenal that these desperadoes employed to pull off their criminal capers, including the 1841 Mississippi Rifle, the Remington Model 8 Semiautomatic, bulletproof vests, and the deadly Arkansas Toothpick--a long, heavy, balanced dagger synonymous with the American frontier.
Wild West Tech : Six-Shooter Tech. Aired on Saturday September 22 04:00 PM
Six-shooters--revolvers with six chambers--were as common as cell phones in the Wild West, but when one went off, it was more than annoying--it was most often deadly. A priest, a 16-year-old boy sailing the world, and a covey of cold-blooded killers all played important parts in the development of this classic western weapon. What was missing from Samuel Colt's first revolving handgun? How did Smith & Wesson exploit a technological edge to make millions of dollars? Which six-shooter was prone to blowing up? Join us for a bang-up hour as we examine the advances that made the six-shooter safer and more reliable as a first line of defense...and just as often, as a first line of attack.
Wild West Tech : Native American Tech. Aired on Wednesday September 26 12:00 PM
Explore the might and power of the Native American tribes that once populated the Wild West with host Keith Carradine. We examine their weaponry--tomahawk, lance, slingshot, bow and arrow, and club--and how they cleverly adapted modern weaponry to their own use. You'll learn about their battle strategies as we introduce their most famous leaders, including Geronimo, Crazy Horse, Red Cloud, and Sitting Bull. And we demonstrate various medicinal and surgical procedures that they used on wounded warriors.
Wild West Tech : Native American Tech. Aired on Wednesday September 26 06:00 PM
Explore the might and power of the Native American tribes that once populated the Wild West with host Keith Carradine. We examine their weaponry--tomahawk, lance, slingshot, bow and arrow, and club--and how they cleverly adapted modern weaponry to their own use. You'll learn about their battle strategies as we introduce their most famous leaders, including Geronimo, Crazy Horse, Red Cloud, and Sitting Bull. And we demonstrate various medicinal and surgical procedures that they used on wounded warriors.
It's said revenge is a dish best served cold, but in the Wild West, it was often served with a heaping helping of technology. From a liver-eating madman bent on avenging the death of a loved one to a teenage girl who switched her gender to exact vengeance on her husband's murderer, technology made a uniquely brutal form of frontier justice possible. Host David Carradine guides viewers through the most grizzly stories of score-settling the West ever saw.
Wild West Tech : Bounty Hunters. Aired on Saturday September 22 09:00 AM
They were the men who wouldn't take no for an answer, pursuing every lead, tracking every trail, and finally, bringing in their man--dead or alive. Follow along with some of the greatest trackers the West ever saw--men hunting human prey, with huge rewards waiting for those who succeeded. Join us as we separate Wild West fact from Hollywood fiction, and meet men like Charlie Siringo, who would travel tens of thousands of miles before he'd let a bail jumper go free; or Frank Hamer, who brought law to the most lawless parts of Texas, and death to the most notorious criminals of the early 20th Century. Hosted by David Carradine.
Wild West Tech : The Gunslingers. Aired on Saturday September 22 02:00 PM
In this series that provides an inside look at the inventions, advancements, concepts, and contraptions of America's Wild West past, host Keith Carradine highlights a special breed of man--the gunslinger--and his weapons of choice. Sometimes he wore a badge, sometimes he fought the law. But he always had a gun at his side--and the willingness to pull the trigger. Wild Bill Hickok, Jesse James, Wyatt Earp--we go behind the legends to see how these men were defined by the weapons they carried.
Wild West Tech : Gang Tech. Aired on Saturday September 22 03:00 PM
In the Wild West, no single lawman could possibly stop a gang of desperate outlaws. Host David Carradine recreates stories of the bravest and most brutal hoodlums that ever roamed the rowdy and reckless western wilderness. From the stagecoach bandits of gold-rush California to the bloody scalp-hunters of the Southwestern border, we explore the various personalities, motives, and crimes of each gang. And we examine the sophisticated arsenal that these desperadoes employed to pull off their criminal capers, including the 1841 Mississippi Rifle, the Remington Model 8 Semiautomatic, bulletproof vests, and the deadly Arkansas Toothpick--a long, heavy, balanced dagger synonymous with the American frontier.
Wild West Tech : Six-Shooter Tech. Aired on Saturday September 22 04:00 PM
Six-shooters--revolvers with six chambers--were as common as cell phones in the Wild West, but when one went off, it was more than annoying--it was most often deadly. A priest, a 16-year-old boy sailing the world, and a covey of cold-blooded killers all played important parts in the development of this classic western weapon. What was missing from Samuel Colt's first revolving handgun? How did Smith & Wesson exploit a technological edge to make millions of dollars? Which six-shooter was prone to blowing up? Join us for a bang-up hour as we examine the advances that made the six-shooter safer and more reliable as a first line of defense...and just as often, as a first line of attack.
Wild West Tech : Native American Tech. Aired on Wednesday September 26 12:00 PM
Explore the might and power of the Native American tribes that once populated the Wild West with host Keith Carradine. We examine their weaponry--tomahawk, lance, slingshot, bow and arrow, and club--and how they cleverly adapted modern weaponry to their own use. You'll learn about their battle strategies as we introduce their most famous leaders, including Geronimo, Crazy Horse, Red Cloud, and Sitting Bull. And we demonstrate various medicinal and surgical procedures that they used on wounded warriors.
Wild West Tech : Native American Tech. Aired on Wednesday September 26 06:00 PM
Explore the might and power of the Native American tribes that once populated the Wild West with host Keith Carradine. We examine their weaponry--tomahawk, lance, slingshot, bow and arrow, and club--and how they cleverly adapted modern weaponry to their own use. You'll learn about their battle strategies as we introduce their most famous leaders, including Geronimo, Crazy Horse, Red Cloud, and Sitting Bull. And we demonstrate various medicinal and surgical procedures that they used on wounded warriors.
Acting Techniques
If you get disgusted easily please skip through this story. Hugh Jackman has an odd way of preparing for intense roles that involve tears. He reportedly pulls out his own pubic or nose hair before the scene to inflict pain in order to get teary eyed.
The actor didn't always do this and admitted he used to struggle with teary scenes. He took actor Geoffrey Rush's advice for inflicting pain upon himself just before it's time to shoot.
He explains, "I remembered a great story from Geoffrey Rush, who had to cry in a scene in a play, so he was experimenting with different ways.
"Finally, near the end, just before he'd walk out on stage, he used to pluck out a couple of nose hairs and he'd get that first moment of a tear and then he'd go on and start crying.
"It's very technical and it works! Try it at home. Pubes work even better!"
He used this technique for one scene in the movie "The Fountain." Now that's all I am gonna be thinking about when I watch that movie. Eww!
http://www.hollyscoop.com/why/hugh-jackmans-teary-confession_8358.aspx
COMMENTS: Total misquote!! Hugh was commenting on the David Letterman show that Geoffrey Rush shared a method to generating spontaneous tears on stage. He quipped about another painful location but never claimed to subscribe to the method. He's an incredible actor who needs no "gimmicks".
Posted by: amber on 11/22/2006 11:19 PM
The actor didn't always do this and admitted he used to struggle with teary scenes. He took actor Geoffrey Rush's advice for inflicting pain upon himself just before it's time to shoot.
He explains, "I remembered a great story from Geoffrey Rush, who had to cry in a scene in a play, so he was experimenting with different ways.
"Finally, near the end, just before he'd walk out on stage, he used to pluck out a couple of nose hairs and he'd get that first moment of a tear and then he'd go on and start crying.
"It's very technical and it works! Try it at home. Pubes work even better!"
He used this technique for one scene in the movie "The Fountain." Now that's all I am gonna be thinking about when I watch that movie. Eww!
http://www.hollyscoop.com/why/hugh-jackmans-teary-confession_8358.aspx
COMMENTS: Total misquote!! Hugh was commenting on the David Letterman show that Geoffrey Rush shared a method to generating spontaneous tears on stage. He quipped about another painful location but never claimed to subscribe to the method. He's an incredible actor who needs no "gimmicks".
Posted by: amber on 11/22/2006 11:19 PM
Sexual Hostility in the Movies
BYLINE: JOHNNY JASON
If looks could kill then those sullen glances Glenn Ford kept giving Rita Hayworth in "Gilda" would probably have silenced her early in the movie way before she got the chance to take off her gloves and sing "Put the Blame on Mame." Hayworth, likewise, did not seem pleased with Ford and their mutual distrust for one another was the underlying factor that made "Gilda" the screen success it was in the forties and still is today.
Claudette Colbert pretended all through "It Happened One Night" to think Clark Gable was a 'dud' when all the time we knew she could hardly wait to hop in the sack with him.
Gable's Rhett and Leigh's Scarlett were constantly at odds throughout GWTW until Rhett drank too much and finally bedded Scarlett the way she desired. Hepburn's imperious Tracy Lord put down Cart Grant's playboy character in "The Philadelphia Story" until the final reels when they would up together.
Hepburn's screen persona was generally involved with an underlying conflict with the leading man in her films. Most of the time in Tracy-Hepburn films, the hostility was subdued or treated lightly as in "Adam's Rib," but it was there. In one of the team's least successful films, "Sea of Grass," it dominated the movie, so much so that it turned off the audience. The fans were more comfortable with films like "Without Love," "The Desk Set," and "Pat and Mike."
Perhaps Hepburn's most successful portrayal is as the frustrated old maid in "The African Queen," opposite Humphrey Bogart. From the moment the two appeared on the screen, the quiet hostility was obvious. The differences of opinion soon gave way to a mutual understanding and cooperation that eventually turned into sexual love.
One of the most unforgettable scenes in history is the moment these two lead characters first dicover there is love between them. It is so quietly initiated through John Huston's direction and Hepburn and Bogart's acting that the audience believes the relationship even though it is played against totally unreal situations.
The team of Gable and Harlow sent off sparks in the early days especially in films like "Red Dust" when the two didn't see quite eye to eye. In the fifties Doris Day and Rock Hudson flirted with each other through three films using the stand-off approach to sex until the end. Liz Taylor and Richard Burton battled throughout "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and "The Taming of the Shrew" two successful films amongst their nearly dozen disasters. Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones had their only truly sexual parts in "Duel in the Sun" and Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray destroyed each other in "Double Indemnity."
Bogie and Baby Bacall were always somewhat antagonistic of each other in their screen outings. They played it 'cool' at a distance. Bergman and Cary Grant distrusted one another in "Notorious," and Bergman won one of her Oscars when leading man Charles Boyer psychologically tortured her in "Gaslight."
On the lighter side, Betty Grable always had misgivings with her leading man toward the middle of her movies as did Alice Faye, but somehow they would resolve the differences by the end of the movie. Fred and Ginger fought throughout most of their dancing films.
Grace Kelly was at odds with both leading men, Crosby and Holden, in "The Country Girl" and won an Oscar for her efforts. And who will ever forget James Cagney letting Mae Clark have it with the grapefruit in "Public Enemy?"
There's something sexy about couples who don't get along in the living room. It conjures up thoughts about what might happen when they get to the bedroom.
"Moonlighting' is one of today's most successful TV shows and Cybill Sheppard (sic) and Bruce Willis seem far sexier when they're arguing then when they're in bed. The audience knows that there's something between them, but no one can foretell if that 'something' will ever work out. The chemistry becomes mystery and when they're on screen bickering it's sexually electrifying and brings back the good old days in movies when the leading lady and the man spent 85 minutes of screen time bickering and the last five minutes in utter ecstasy.
Sheppard (sic) has come a long way since "The Last Picture Show" and has proved once and for all that dumb blondes can smarten up, but only after they've been kicked around some by the leading men in their lives. She's been able to outlive her relationship with Peter Bogdonovich (sic) to the extent that at this writing, they're even talking a sequel to "The Last Picture Show" with Bogdonovich (sic) directing his ex-lover Sheppard (sic).
Movie moguls are dying to get Sheppard (sic) in a romantic comedy drama a la the old days of Carole Lombard. There's just a bit lacking in screen chemistry with the other top blondes Meryl Streep, Glenn Close and Kathleen Turner. With the right part and the right leading man (Dream casting: Mel Gibson) Cybill could bring back old time glamour to the screen. Sexual Hostility would never look better!
By Johnny Jason
If looks could kill then those sullen glances Glenn Ford kept giving Rita Hayworth in "Gilda" would probably have silenced her early in the movie way before she got the chance to take off her gloves and sing "Put the Blame on Mame." Hayworth, likewise, did not seem pleased with Ford and their mutual distrust for one another was the underlying factor that made "Gilda" the screen success it was in the forties and still is today.
Claudette Colbert pretended all through "It Happened One Night" to think Clark Gable was a 'dud' when all the time we knew she could hardly wait to hop in the sack with him.
Gable's Rhett and Leigh's Scarlett were constantly at odds throughout GWTW until Rhett drank too much and finally bedded Scarlett the way she desired. Hepburn's imperious Tracy Lord put down Cart Grant's playboy character in "The Philadelphia Story" until the final reels when they would up together.
Hepburn's screen persona was generally involved with an underlying conflict with the leading man in her films. Most of the time in Tracy-Hepburn films, the hostility was subdued or treated lightly as in "Adam's Rib," but it was there. In one of the team's least successful films, "Sea of Grass," it dominated the movie, so much so that it turned off the audience. The fans were more comfortable with films like "Without Love," "The Desk Set," and "Pat and Mike."
Perhaps Hepburn's most successful portrayal is as the frustrated old maid in "The African Queen," opposite Humphrey Bogart. From the moment the two appeared on the screen, the quiet hostility was obvious. The differences of opinion soon gave way to a mutual understanding and cooperation that eventually turned into sexual love.
One of the most unforgettable scenes in history is the moment these two lead characters first dicover there is love between them. It is so quietly initiated through John Huston's direction and Hepburn and Bogart's acting that the audience believes the relationship even though it is played against totally unreal situations.
The team of Gable and Harlow sent off sparks in the early days especially in films like "Red Dust" when the two didn't see quite eye to eye. In the fifties Doris Day and Rock Hudson flirted with each other through three films using the stand-off approach to sex until the end. Liz Taylor and Richard Burton battled throughout "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and "The Taming of the Shrew" two successful films amongst their nearly dozen disasters. Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones had their only truly sexual parts in "Duel in the Sun" and Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray destroyed each other in "Double Indemnity."
Bogie and Baby Bacall were always somewhat antagonistic of each other in their screen outings. They played it 'cool' at a distance. Bergman and Cary Grant distrusted one another in "Notorious," and Bergman won one of her Oscars when leading man Charles Boyer psychologically tortured her in "Gaslight."
On the lighter side, Betty Grable always had misgivings with her leading man toward the middle of her movies as did Alice Faye, but somehow they would resolve the differences by the end of the movie. Fred and Ginger fought throughout most of their dancing films.
Grace Kelly was at odds with both leading men, Crosby and Holden, in "The Country Girl" and won an Oscar for her efforts. And who will ever forget James Cagney letting Mae Clark have it with the grapefruit in "Public Enemy?"
There's something sexy about couples who don't get along in the living room. It conjures up thoughts about what might happen when they get to the bedroom.
"Moonlighting' is one of today's most successful TV shows and Cybill Sheppard (sic) and Bruce Willis seem far sexier when they're arguing then when they're in bed. The audience knows that there's something between them, but no one can foretell if that 'something' will ever work out. The chemistry becomes mystery and when they're on screen bickering it's sexually electrifying and brings back the good old days in movies when the leading lady and the man spent 85 minutes of screen time bickering and the last five minutes in utter ecstasy.
Sheppard (sic) has come a long way since "The Last Picture Show" and has proved once and for all that dumb blondes can smarten up, but only after they've been kicked around some by the leading men in their lives. She's been able to outlive her relationship with Peter Bogdonovich (sic) to the extent that at this writing, they're even talking a sequel to "The Last Picture Show" with Bogdonovich (sic) directing his ex-lover Sheppard (sic).
Movie moguls are dying to get Sheppard (sic) in a romantic comedy drama a la the old days of Carole Lombard. There's just a bit lacking in screen chemistry with the other top blondes Meryl Streep, Glenn Close and Kathleen Turner. With the right part and the right leading man (Dream casting: Mel Gibson) Cybill could bring back old time glamour to the screen. Sexual Hostility would never look better!
By Johnny Jason
Writing About -- Comas
Dear Dr. Josh,
My question has to do with comas. I've been told that people in comas sometimes hear, but cannot respond. My ex-husband went into a diabetic coma when he was 13, and though he was immobile and couldn't open his eyes or speak, he remembered hearing the doctor telling his mother he was going to die, and his mother crying.
Is it possible to bring a person out of a coma (or speed their recovery) by external stimulation, such as reading or talking to them, or playing music, or by touching them? If not, then is it possible for a person who comes out of a coma on their own (whatever that is!) to remember things that were said to them while they were in a coma?
-- Sherrie
Dr. Josh: Well, coma is a tricky word... it basically refers to a level of unconsciousness, which can be due to a number of different conditions. Novelists' comas are like novelists' amnesia - useful in a plot sense, but not very realistic.
Coma states vary in the level to which they alter someone's level of consciousness - we have multiple scoring systems used to evaluate them. They can be short-lived, often seen with severe infections requiring hospitalization, shock from blood loss, metabolic disturbances (as your husband had), or drug-induced (e.g., modern anesthesia intentionally induces a comatose state with short-acting drugs continuously infused). These are usually completely or nearly completely reversible, depending on the amount of permanent brain damage.
Longer comas usually result from a neurological insult - stroke, bleeding inside the head, brain damage from shock, or, as we commonly see, brain damage after cardiac resuscitation (loss of blood flow for minutes can cause very profound levels of brain damage. Those are usually reversible to a certain extent, but with increasing severity of the coma, the likelihood of a person emerging decreases. However, people can come out of them after either months or decades; the bad news is that they often have persistent neurological deficits.
As for your question, well, it depends on what caused the coma, and I assume you mean a longer coma (though I could be wrong). Modern medical science doesn't really have a good answer as to whether external stimulation can bring someone out of a coma. But since people rarely accept this as an answer, why should you? Many friends & family members of patients say they feel that stimulation helps their loved one to be more aware. I honestly haven't seen it myself as yet, but stimulation is unlikely to make matters worse.
Take three pictures and write a short story.
My question has to do with comas. I've been told that people in comas sometimes hear, but cannot respond. My ex-husband went into a diabetic coma when he was 13, and though he was immobile and couldn't open his eyes or speak, he remembered hearing the doctor telling his mother he was going to die, and his mother crying.
Is it possible to bring a person out of a coma (or speed their recovery) by external stimulation, such as reading or talking to them, or playing music, or by touching them? If not, then is it possible for a person who comes out of a coma on their own (whatever that is!) to remember things that were said to them while they were in a coma?
-- Sherrie
Dr. Josh: Well, coma is a tricky word... it basically refers to a level of unconsciousness, which can be due to a number of different conditions. Novelists' comas are like novelists' amnesia - useful in a plot sense, but not very realistic.
Coma states vary in the level to which they alter someone's level of consciousness - we have multiple scoring systems used to evaluate them. They can be short-lived, often seen with severe infections requiring hospitalization, shock from blood loss, metabolic disturbances (as your husband had), or drug-induced (e.g., modern anesthesia intentionally induces a comatose state with short-acting drugs continuously infused). These are usually completely or nearly completely reversible, depending on the amount of permanent brain damage.
Longer comas usually result from a neurological insult - stroke, bleeding inside the head, brain damage from shock, or, as we commonly see, brain damage after cardiac resuscitation (loss of blood flow for minutes can cause very profound levels of brain damage. Those are usually reversible to a certain extent, but with increasing severity of the coma, the likelihood of a person emerging decreases. However, people can come out of them after either months or decades; the bad news is that they often have persistent neurological deficits.
As for your question, well, it depends on what caused the coma, and I assume you mean a longer coma (though I could be wrong). Modern medical science doesn't really have a good answer as to whether external stimulation can bring someone out of a coma. But since people rarely accept this as an answer, why should you? Many friends & family members of patients say they feel that stimulation helps their loved one to be more aware. I honestly haven't seen it myself as yet, but stimulation is unlikely to make matters worse.
Take three pictures and write a short story.
Writing about -- Amnesia
Dear Dr. Josh,
Could you comment on plot-amnesia? I know novelists use amnesia shamelessly (I certainly have), and I've read some really interesting stuff about fugue states that aren't really organic in nature, but it could be interesting to hear him on the subject.
-- Mary Jo
Dr. Josh: Ah, amnesia! A concept far more common in fiction than reality. The only time I've ever encountered classic amnesia is in books, and I'm not talking about medical texts. The novelists' version of amnesia does occur, albeit very rarely; far more common is a selective memory loss of recent events associated with aging and dementia (not too useful to most novelists) and substance abuse (also not too useful to most novelists, although there's a certain subset).
There is a condition known as transient global amnesia where people lose their memory of recent events, but still tend to retain distant memories (the thought being that they are more 'hard-wired' into the brain). Frankly, no one really knows why it occurs, although there's some thought that it's somewhat stroke-like, and no one knows why it gets better. Because of this uncertainty, feel free to exploit at will - no one can fault you scientifically.
Could you comment on plot-amnesia? I know novelists use amnesia shamelessly (I certainly have), and I've read some really interesting stuff about fugue states that aren't really organic in nature, but it could be interesting to hear him on the subject.
-- Mary Jo
Dr. Josh: Ah, amnesia! A concept far more common in fiction than reality. The only time I've ever encountered classic amnesia is in books, and I'm not talking about medical texts. The novelists' version of amnesia does occur, albeit very rarely; far more common is a selective memory loss of recent events associated with aging and dementia (not too useful to most novelists) and substance abuse (also not too useful to most novelists, although there's a certain subset).
There is a condition known as transient global amnesia where people lose their memory of recent events, but still tend to retain distant memories (the thought being that they are more 'hard-wired' into the brain). Frankly, no one really knows why it occurs, although there's some thought that it's somewhat stroke-like, and no one knows why it gets better. Because of this uncertainty, feel free to exploit at will - no one can fault you scientifically.
The social significance of the romance novel
Yes, believe it or not, that paperback romance sitting on your coffee table is socially significant. Never considered it? Our reviewer Cynthia has, and this month we're proud to offer Part I of her thought-provoking look at the role romance novels have played in our society.
PART I - OVERVIEW AND HISTORY
One of the most popular forms of women’s literature today is the romance novel. More often than not, they are written with female sensibilities in mind mainly from the point of view of women. The romance novel industry is a largely female-driven medium, significant for its focus on the aspects of life that women consider important. Our responses to social conventions in a fundamentally patriarchal society can be heard in our writing.
Academicians have argued that the novels themselves are marketed towards audiences consisting of bored “housewives” and others with “limited” educational backgrounds. There are those in the academic community who still debate the merits of romance novels. It would be impossible for me to list all of the various sneers and slurs leveled at romance novels because they are too numerous. I have included a few of the more commonly-held reasons given by critics. What I do know is that in the past female writers have had to fight or flee when it came to pursuing writing as a profession.
But what if the critics are wrong and romance novels are a new incarnation of a medium embarked upon during the English Renaissance? If art is conceivably an amalgamation of the artist’s point of view, feelings and his world-view, why can’t romance novels be considered from the same perspective? They offer a great deal of social significance because of their unique insight into the ideals of women - perhaps even more so because they are presented in their own words. For as a long as women have been writing for a living there has been a romantic element in fiction. This has brought derogatory comment and accusation concerning the profundity of this type of fiction from male critics and colleagues.
A Brief History of the Romance Novel
Renaissance Romance and Female Readership
Beginning in the English Renaissance, women’s fiction was composed by a masculine pen and guided by masculine notions of relevant feminine subject matter. In effect, patriarchal ideals were reinforced through literature, even promoted in areas considered the female sphere at a time when female literacy was on the rise. But the appearance of Margaret Tyler’s translation of the Spanish novel The Mirror of Knighthood (1578) and Mary Wroth’s Urania (1621) are notable exceptions to the theory.
The popularity of the Renaissance romance is attributed to this new wider audience, which included literate women of the middle class. As Helen Hackett explains in her introduction, this theory was accompanied by the idea that love, courtship and other elements of the private realm of relationships were distinctly ’feminine’ and therefore women had a special affinity with escapist fiction and their various literary tropes. The commercial success of Renaissance romances was attributed to the emergence of more female readers. Many Elizabethan and Jacobean romance authors credited their popularity to “gentlewomen” readers - women of middle rank in society - for their commercial success and made a point of addressing their dedications to them.
By the early seventeenth century, romance novels and writers had become the favorite subject of satirists and moralists. Female readers were often called foolish for reading romances instead of more worthy texts. It has been suggested that women chose romances in spite of the condemnation they faced. An obvious preference for the romance novel was displayed even though other reading material was available to them...such as herbals, texts on household management or devotional texts. All of these would have been a great deal easier for women to obtain and would not have caused as much consternation amongst critics.
The idea of romance as a feminine genre is mainly a construct originating from concerns about the dangers these novels might pose to impressionable minds of literate middle class women. Heinrich Bullinger expressed his disapproval of romances in his book titled The Christian State of Matrimony translated by Miles Coverdale in 1541. His anxieties were based on humanist educational programs emphasizing that the gift of literacy, given by God to humans, should be used to read “godly” works. The fact that His gift was being used to read the less-than-holy works written by those of an opposing moral character was unacceptable. Premises based on the belief that women are easily influenced and romances promote less restrictive modes of behaviour and may induce sexually unruly behaviour in women.
What if the popularity of romance with female readers was not as widespread as the writers claimed? Hackett believes that the popularity of Renaissance romance novels with female readership is suspect when you take into consideration the overall antifeminist plots and images. Scenes of brutal retribution dealt to "unruly" women were common plot devices. The narrator’s condemnation and summary punishment for their behaviour in the texts was also familiar to audiences. If we are to believe that these romances were popular with female audiences then we must also believe women chose to ignore the consequences for unruly behavior portrayed by the characters and enjoyed the novels for their entertainment value.
Hackett goes on to comment on the fact that we often find a repressive influence on female actions and, furthermore, the infliction of torment upon female victims within the novels. What possible pleasure can be gleaned for readers from these stories? Caroline Lucas argues that although they offer women a variety of “inconsistent, self-contradictory and self-destructive roles” they can refuse to adopt them.
“By recognizing the more oppressive designs these texts have on us, and by disengaging from them, women can instead revalue the romances as important domains of women’s independence and power.”
Even Mary Wroth incorporated these elements in her novels - possibly as a sop to patriarchal conventions employed by her colleagues and accepted by the general reading public which was primarily male.
The Social Significance of the Romance Novel
The Victorian Woman Reader
The Victorian romance is often characterized by its gothic themes of paranormal manifestations, brooding Heathcliffe-esque heroes and longsuffering heroines of virtuous mien. In the last few pages of Mary Wollstonecraft’s Vindication of the Rights of Women, she criticizes sentimental fiction for encouraging ‘a romantic twist of the mind’, a false view of human nature, and for teaching women to articulate ‘the language of passion in affected tones’. She blames novels for turning women’s attention from more literary texts intended to enhance their intellects.
The attempts of Wollstonecraft and others to convince the public of the importance that must be placed on the effect romance novels may have on female readers were couched in political rhetoric. Renaissance attitudes concerning the ill-effects novels could have on female readers continued to color the opinions of Victorian critics.
Advice manuals, devotional texts and household management guides were still widely acceptable reading for women. More sensational reading materials were ridiculed as mentally stultifying and blunting the otherwise good judgement of female readers. A woman’s preoccupation with reading suggested a vulnerability to textual influence ‘deaf and blind to all the stimuli in her immediate environment’. It also hints at the potential autonomy of her mind as evinced by her ’self-sufficient posture’ when engaged in reading a novel.
The focus shifted during the 1830s and 1840s from a woman’s social behaviour and her reading habits to the relationship between a woman’s reading and the biological characteristics that make her different from a man. This focus naturally spawned a new artistic voice for the romance novel. The 'sensation' novel and ‘new woman’ fiction of the late nineteenth century were another incarnation of the romance novel. They were often filled with what was considered lurid details concerning the amorous adulterous encounters of the female characters. The same unruly behaviour that had Renaissance critics foaming at the mouth in outrage, that flowed from the fertile imaginations to the pen of male writers.
Sensation novels caused great concern amongst society and literary critics alike, because of their scenes of adventurous behaviour - adultery and bigamy amongst other sensational elements. Critical attention was focused on these novels in the 1860s due to assumptions made about the susceptibility of the female reader. The presence of sexual elements in the novels was critics’ main focus. Anxiety greeted the works of Mary Braddon, Rhoda Broughton and Mrs. Henry Wood when they incorporated these elements into their own novels. Braddon and others suggested through their writing that desires need not be confined to hearth and home, they challenged patriarchal ideas of passive, innocent pure-minded middleclass femininity. It didn’t help matters when novelists exhibited ‘unladylike’ familiarity with some of the subjects about which they wrote.
New woman fiction of the 1890s was characterized by the inclusion of the idea of biological sexuality, the differences between the sexes and the social construction of sexual relations. They emphasized double standards of the period in relation to sexual behaviour purity but focused readers’ attention on self-awareness and social analysis.
These ideas helped fuel the fight of suffragettes, rallying other women to the cause with rational arguments grounded in social analysis. In the process, romance novels fell short of their ideals for women’s fiction, given its past denigration by critics. At this time, to claim romance novels as their voice would hurt the cause, simply because of the insipid characters portrayed in some novels and the general public’s opinion of them.
http://www.aromancereview.com/columns/theromancenovelpartone.phtml
PART I - OVERVIEW AND HISTORY
One of the most popular forms of women’s literature today is the romance novel. More often than not, they are written with female sensibilities in mind mainly from the point of view of women. The romance novel industry is a largely female-driven medium, significant for its focus on the aspects of life that women consider important. Our responses to social conventions in a fundamentally patriarchal society can be heard in our writing.
Academicians have argued that the novels themselves are marketed towards audiences consisting of bored “housewives” and others with “limited” educational backgrounds. There are those in the academic community who still debate the merits of romance novels. It would be impossible for me to list all of the various sneers and slurs leveled at romance novels because they are too numerous. I have included a few of the more commonly-held reasons given by critics. What I do know is that in the past female writers have had to fight or flee when it came to pursuing writing as a profession.
But what if the critics are wrong and romance novels are a new incarnation of a medium embarked upon during the English Renaissance? If art is conceivably an amalgamation of the artist’s point of view, feelings and his world-view, why can’t romance novels be considered from the same perspective? They offer a great deal of social significance because of their unique insight into the ideals of women - perhaps even more so because they are presented in their own words. For as a long as women have been writing for a living there has been a romantic element in fiction. This has brought derogatory comment and accusation concerning the profundity of this type of fiction from male critics and colleagues.
A Brief History of the Romance Novel
Renaissance Romance and Female Readership
Beginning in the English Renaissance, women’s fiction was composed by a masculine pen and guided by masculine notions of relevant feminine subject matter. In effect, patriarchal ideals were reinforced through literature, even promoted in areas considered the female sphere at a time when female literacy was on the rise. But the appearance of Margaret Tyler’s translation of the Spanish novel The Mirror of Knighthood (1578) and Mary Wroth’s Urania (1621) are notable exceptions to the theory.
The popularity of the Renaissance romance is attributed to this new wider audience, which included literate women of the middle class. As Helen Hackett explains in her introduction, this theory was accompanied by the idea that love, courtship and other elements of the private realm of relationships were distinctly ’feminine’ and therefore women had a special affinity with escapist fiction and their various literary tropes. The commercial success of Renaissance romances was attributed to the emergence of more female readers. Many Elizabethan and Jacobean romance authors credited their popularity to “gentlewomen” readers - women of middle rank in society - for their commercial success and made a point of addressing their dedications to them.
By the early seventeenth century, romance novels and writers had become the favorite subject of satirists and moralists. Female readers were often called foolish for reading romances instead of more worthy texts. It has been suggested that women chose romances in spite of the condemnation they faced. An obvious preference for the romance novel was displayed even though other reading material was available to them...such as herbals, texts on household management or devotional texts. All of these would have been a great deal easier for women to obtain and would not have caused as much consternation amongst critics.
The idea of romance as a feminine genre is mainly a construct originating from concerns about the dangers these novels might pose to impressionable minds of literate middle class women. Heinrich Bullinger expressed his disapproval of romances in his book titled The Christian State of Matrimony translated by Miles Coverdale in 1541. His anxieties were based on humanist educational programs emphasizing that the gift of literacy, given by God to humans, should be used to read “godly” works. The fact that His gift was being used to read the less-than-holy works written by those of an opposing moral character was unacceptable. Premises based on the belief that women are easily influenced and romances promote less restrictive modes of behaviour and may induce sexually unruly behaviour in women.
What if the popularity of romance with female readers was not as widespread as the writers claimed? Hackett believes that the popularity of Renaissance romance novels with female readership is suspect when you take into consideration the overall antifeminist plots and images. Scenes of brutal retribution dealt to "unruly" women were common plot devices. The narrator’s condemnation and summary punishment for their behaviour in the texts was also familiar to audiences. If we are to believe that these romances were popular with female audiences then we must also believe women chose to ignore the consequences for unruly behavior portrayed by the characters and enjoyed the novels for their entertainment value.
Hackett goes on to comment on the fact that we often find a repressive influence on female actions and, furthermore, the infliction of torment upon female victims within the novels. What possible pleasure can be gleaned for readers from these stories? Caroline Lucas argues that although they offer women a variety of “inconsistent, self-contradictory and self-destructive roles” they can refuse to adopt them.
“By recognizing the more oppressive designs these texts have on us, and by disengaging from them, women can instead revalue the romances as important domains of women’s independence and power.”
Even Mary Wroth incorporated these elements in her novels - possibly as a sop to patriarchal conventions employed by her colleagues and accepted by the general reading public which was primarily male.
The Social Significance of the Romance Novel
The Victorian Woman Reader
The Victorian romance is often characterized by its gothic themes of paranormal manifestations, brooding Heathcliffe-esque heroes and longsuffering heroines of virtuous mien. In the last few pages of Mary Wollstonecraft’s Vindication of the Rights of Women, she criticizes sentimental fiction for encouraging ‘a romantic twist of the mind’, a false view of human nature, and for teaching women to articulate ‘the language of passion in affected tones’. She blames novels for turning women’s attention from more literary texts intended to enhance their intellects.
The attempts of Wollstonecraft and others to convince the public of the importance that must be placed on the effect romance novels may have on female readers were couched in political rhetoric. Renaissance attitudes concerning the ill-effects novels could have on female readers continued to color the opinions of Victorian critics.
Advice manuals, devotional texts and household management guides were still widely acceptable reading for women. More sensational reading materials were ridiculed as mentally stultifying and blunting the otherwise good judgement of female readers. A woman’s preoccupation with reading suggested a vulnerability to textual influence ‘deaf and blind to all the stimuli in her immediate environment’. It also hints at the potential autonomy of her mind as evinced by her ’self-sufficient posture’ when engaged in reading a novel.
The focus shifted during the 1830s and 1840s from a woman’s social behaviour and her reading habits to the relationship between a woman’s reading and the biological characteristics that make her different from a man. This focus naturally spawned a new artistic voice for the romance novel. The 'sensation' novel and ‘new woman’ fiction of the late nineteenth century were another incarnation of the romance novel. They were often filled with what was considered lurid details concerning the amorous adulterous encounters of the female characters. The same unruly behaviour that had Renaissance critics foaming at the mouth in outrage, that flowed from the fertile imaginations to the pen of male writers.
Sensation novels caused great concern amongst society and literary critics alike, because of their scenes of adventurous behaviour - adultery and bigamy amongst other sensational elements. Critical attention was focused on these novels in the 1860s due to assumptions made about the susceptibility of the female reader. The presence of sexual elements in the novels was critics’ main focus. Anxiety greeted the works of Mary Braddon, Rhoda Broughton and Mrs. Henry Wood when they incorporated these elements into their own novels. Braddon and others suggested through their writing that desires need not be confined to hearth and home, they challenged patriarchal ideas of passive, innocent pure-minded middleclass femininity. It didn’t help matters when novelists exhibited ‘unladylike’ familiarity with some of the subjects about which they wrote.
New woman fiction of the 1890s was characterized by the inclusion of the idea of biological sexuality, the differences between the sexes and the social construction of sexual relations. They emphasized double standards of the period in relation to sexual behaviour purity but focused readers’ attention on self-awareness and social analysis.
These ideas helped fuel the fight of suffragettes, rallying other women to the cause with rational arguments grounded in social analysis. In the process, romance novels fell short of their ideals for women’s fiction, given its past denigration by critics. At this time, to claim romance novels as their voice would hurt the cause, simply because of the insipid characters portrayed in some novels and the general public’s opinion of them.
http://www.aromancereview.com/columns/theromancenovelpartone.phtml
how 2 choose a mate
I decided that men can be divided in categories as it follows: lovers, trophies, providers, and the ones I don’t give a damn about.
Lovers are great for affairs, not for relationships. Because they should spread the joy to as many women as possible, they shouldn’t belong to one woman only. Just cherish his companionship, don’t invest your feelings and thoughts.
These guys are great in bed, know what to say to make you feel good, and sense of humor is a welcomed bonus.
Trophies are the guys you like to brag about. Either for their looks or for their power. Also, the ones with power can have other benefits like offering you comfortable living, right connections asf.
For such mates, choose from models, musicians, actors, TV hosts – for looks and businessmen or politicians – for power and awareness.
Than there are the providers. Sometimes, for the lucky few, the providers are power trophies.
For the rest of women, they are guys who are easy to mold, hardworking, faithful, and able to offer you a decent living. Husband material all the way.
Problem is women tend to fall in love with the first two categories and than they wonder why they get hurt!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 at 10:27 am and is filed under love choices. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Lovers are great for affairs, not for relationships. Because they should spread the joy to as many women as possible, they shouldn’t belong to one woman only. Just cherish his companionship, don’t invest your feelings and thoughts.
These guys are great in bed, know what to say to make you feel good, and sense of humor is a welcomed bonus.
Trophies are the guys you like to brag about. Either for their looks or for their power. Also, the ones with power can have other benefits like offering you comfortable living, right connections asf.
For such mates, choose from models, musicians, actors, TV hosts – for looks and businessmen or politicians – for power and awareness.
Than there are the providers. Sometimes, for the lucky few, the providers are power trophies.
For the rest of women, they are guys who are easy to mold, hardworking, faithful, and able to offer you a decent living. Husband material all the way.
Problem is women tend to fall in love with the first two categories and than they wonder why they get hurt!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 at 10:27 am and is filed under love choices. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
MOST BEAUTIFUL WORDS
When the British Council planned for its 70th anniversary, they decided to make a list of a list of the 70 most beautiful words in the English language. They asked 7000 "learners" - whatever they are - in 46 countries and ran an online poll where 35,000 people registered their favorites. Here they are,
The magnificent 70
1 Mother
2 Passion
3 Smile
4 Love
5 Eternity
6 Fantastic
7 Destiny
8 Freedom
9 Liberty
10 Tranquillity
11 Peace
12 Blossom
13 Sunshine
14 Sweetheart
15 Gorgeous
16 Cherish
17 Enthusiasm
18 Hope
19 Grace
20 Rainbow
21 Blue
22 Sunflower
23 Twinkle
24 Serendipity
25 Bliss
26 Lullaby
27 Sophisticated
28 Renaissance
29 Cute
30 Cosy
31 Butterfly
32 Galaxy
33 Hilarious
34 Moment
35 Extravaganza
36 Aqua
37 Sentiment
38 Cosmopolitan
39 Bubble
40 Pumpkin
41 Banana
42 Lollipop
43 If
44 Bumblebee
45 Giggle
46 Paradox
47 Delicacy
48 Peekaboo
49 Umbrella
50 Kangaroo
51 Flabbergasted
52 Hippopotamus
53 Gothic
54 Coconut
55 Smashing
56 Whoops
57 Tickle
58 Loquacious
59 Flip-flop
60 Smithereens
61 Oi
62 Gazebo
63 Hiccup
64 Hodgepodge
65 Shipshape
66 Explosion
67 Fuselage
68 Zing
69 Gum
70 Hen night
Posted by Jill Fallon on February 15, 2005 at 3:58 PM | Permalink
The magnificent 70
1 Mother
2 Passion
3 Smile
4 Love
5 Eternity
6 Fantastic
7 Destiny
8 Freedom
9 Liberty
10 Tranquillity
11 Peace
12 Blossom
13 Sunshine
14 Sweetheart
15 Gorgeous
16 Cherish
17 Enthusiasm
18 Hope
19 Grace
20 Rainbow
21 Blue
22 Sunflower
23 Twinkle
24 Serendipity
25 Bliss
26 Lullaby
27 Sophisticated
28 Renaissance
29 Cute
30 Cosy
31 Butterfly
32 Galaxy
33 Hilarious
34 Moment
35 Extravaganza
36 Aqua
37 Sentiment
38 Cosmopolitan
39 Bubble
40 Pumpkin
41 Banana
42 Lollipop
43 If
44 Bumblebee
45 Giggle
46 Paradox
47 Delicacy
48 Peekaboo
49 Umbrella
50 Kangaroo
51 Flabbergasted
52 Hippopotamus
53 Gothic
54 Coconut
55 Smashing
56 Whoops
57 Tickle
58 Loquacious
59 Flip-flop
60 Smithereens
61 Oi
62 Gazebo
63 Hiccup
64 Hodgepodge
65 Shipshape
66 Explosion
67 Fuselage
68 Zing
69 Gum
70 Hen night
Posted by Jill Fallon on February 15, 2005 at 3:58 PM | Permalink
Oh, How Cute! Another Meme !
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(first pet & current car)
Jiggs Blazer
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chocolate Sandies
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME:
(first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)
adup
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Beagle
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, city where you were born)
Lugene Portsmouth
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
dupai
7. SUPERHERO NAME:
(”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Green Mountain Dew
8. NASCAR NAME:
(the first names of your grandfathers)
Greenberry William
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(mother’s & father’s middle names)
Gene Edward
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME:
(Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Mitchell Montgomery
12. SPY NAME:
(your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Fall Rose
13. CARTOON NAME:
(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Grape Sockie
14. HIPPIE NAME:
(What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Fruit Weeping Willow
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME:
(”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Quilted Snow Tour
(first pet & current car)
Jiggs Blazer
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chocolate Sandies
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME:
(first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)
adup
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Beagle
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, city where you were born)
Lugene Portsmouth
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
dupai
7. SUPERHERO NAME:
(”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Green Mountain Dew
8. NASCAR NAME:
(the first names of your grandfathers)
Greenberry William
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(mother’s & father’s middle names)
Gene Edward
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME:
(Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Mitchell Montgomery
12. SPY NAME:
(your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Fall Rose
13. CARTOON NAME:
(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Grape Sockie
14. HIPPIE NAME:
(What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Fruit Weeping Willow
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME:
(”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Quilted Snow Tour
Top Twenty Theological Pick-up Lines NOT to use
~ C Michael Patton ~
Seeing as how I used to be a singles pastor, I thought that I would give you some of the tips that I gave my singles on how NOT to lure the right one to your side. (Thanks to Carrie for her help!)
20. ”I am not overweight. The word ‘glory’ in Hebrew is kabod which according to HALOT literally means ‘heaviness.’ The Bible also says that we are to reflect God’s glory. Therefore, I am just doing what the Bible says.”
19. “Looking at you makes me reconsider preterism, because you are heaven on earth.”
18. “Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn. Therefore, I am under God’s mandate to marry you.”
17. “Here, let me take care of those tithes.”
16. “You may not have chosen me, but I have chosen you.”
15. “I could not help but notice you were exegeting me instead of the text during the sermon.”
14. ”Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”
13. ”There are six things that motivate me to talk to you, yea seven that turned my head.”
12. “Until this moment, I thought I had the gift of singleness.”
11. During communion say, “Can I get you another drink.”
10. “The Bible says that God is not concerned with outer appearance . . . neither should you.”
9. “The Good Book said that I might be visited by angels unaware, but something must be wrong with my interpretation, because I am perfectly aware of you.”
8. “I noticed you crying during alter call, can I help?”
7. While giving her a TULIP say, ”This Totally depraved person has been Unconditionally drawn to you, Limiting himself to your Irresistible beauty that is Persevering beyond all others.”
6. “God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”
5. “The site of you leaves me apophatic.”
4. “Well, gouge out my eyes and cut off my hands. If I hang around you much longer, I won’t have any limbs left.”
3. “You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.”
2. Sing this to the tune of George Strait’s “Chair”: “Excuse me, but I think you’ve got my rib.”
1. “Are you homo or homoi?”
C Michael Patton on 13 Jun 2007
Seeing as how I used to be a singles pastor, I thought that I would give you some of the tips that I gave my singles on how NOT to lure the right one to your side. (Thanks to Carrie for her help!)
20. ”I am not overweight. The word ‘glory’ in Hebrew is kabod which according to HALOT literally means ‘heaviness.’ The Bible also says that we are to reflect God’s glory. Therefore, I am just doing what the Bible says.”
19. “Looking at you makes me reconsider preterism, because you are heaven on earth.”
18. “Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn. Therefore, I am under God’s mandate to marry you.”
17. “Here, let me take care of those tithes.”
16. “You may not have chosen me, but I have chosen you.”
15. “I could not help but notice you were exegeting me instead of the text during the sermon.”
14. ”Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”
13. ”There are six things that motivate me to talk to you, yea seven that turned my head.”
12. “Until this moment, I thought I had the gift of singleness.”
11. During communion say, “Can I get you another drink.”
10. “The Bible says that God is not concerned with outer appearance . . . neither should you.”
9. “The Good Book said that I might be visited by angels unaware, but something must be wrong with my interpretation, because I am perfectly aware of you.”
8. “I noticed you crying during alter call, can I help?”
7. While giving her a TULIP say, ”This Totally depraved person has been Unconditionally drawn to you, Limiting himself to your Irresistible beauty that is Persevering beyond all others.”
6. “God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”
5. “The site of you leaves me apophatic.”
4. “Well, gouge out my eyes and cut off my hands. If I hang around you much longer, I won’t have any limbs left.”
3. “You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.”
2. Sing this to the tune of George Strait’s “Chair”: “Excuse me, but I think you’ve got my rib.”
1. “Are you homo or homoi?”
C Michael Patton on 13 Jun 2007
Words of wisdom
Thea O'Connor
September 21, 2006 - 12:16PM
From the journals of Anne Frank to the diary room of Big Brother, private places to offload inner thoughts and feelings have long been recognised as therapeutic. It's a simple practice, putting pen to paper, but it can be as healing as seeing a counsellor.
Studies show writing about emotional upheavals can enhance immune function, reduce anxiety and depression, improve sleep and lift performance at school or work, says James Pennebaker, professor of psychology at the University of Texas.
In his pioneering research investigating the link between writing and good health, Pennebaker asked students to write in their journals for 15 to 20 minutes a day for four days about a traumatic event in their lives.
The health of students who wrote detailed accounts linking feelings and events improved significantly. Writing boosted their immune function for at least six weeks. After six months, health centre visits were halved.
However, those students who wrote only about the facts surrounding an event or only vented their feelings missed out on this health-enhancing effect.
Pennebaker has found it's a combination of the objective (what happened) and the subjective (what you felt about what happened) that heals - a phenomenon also observed by researcher Deb Western.
Western, a social worker and lecturer at La Trobe University in Bendigo, is examining the influence of keeping a journal on women's experience of depression.
"The women have been very clear that [keeping a journal] needs to include an emotional component in order to help them understand and make some meaning of what is happening for them," she says.
Western has used journal-keeping as a therapeutic tool in her work with women dealing with the challenges of everyday life as well as those who've suffered sexual assault, family violence and mental and physical health problems.
"Some women have said that the journal was their only form of communication when they were unwell," Western says.
Sarah, 32, a participant in Western's research group, says her journal provides "a safe place to express myself, to have my voice heard without being judged". The opportunity to vent emotions is therapeutic, she says. "It allows me to get it all out of my system and I do feel better afterwards; it's like a sigh of relief."
After the initial relief comes clarification. "I write when my head is full, when I know I'm feeling something but am not sure what, or when my mind is heavy, confused and blurry. Clarity emerges during the writing process itself, or on reflection, reading back. I can end up [in] a completely different place from when I started."
There is an almost medicinal quality to the combination of emotional catharsis and psychological insight. In his book Opening Up, Pennebaker gives scientific credibility to the common adage "it's better out than in" and says actively holding back our thoughts and feelings is hard work.
Over time, this inhibition can increase the risk of disease by gradually undermining our immune function, vascular system and even the biochemical workings of our brain and nervous systems. In contrast, talking or writing about one's deepest thoughts and feelings releases this physiological inhibition, allowing health to improve.
Pennebaker's prescription for enhancing health -- Write about something that:
* You think or worry about too much
* You often dream about
* You'd like to tell others but haven't
* You've avoided for days, weeks or years
* Is affecting your life in an unhealthy way
Explore both the event (what happened) and your feelings about it. Write continuously for at least 15 minutes on three or four consecutive days. Don't worry about grammar, spelling or sentence structure.
September 21, 2006 - 12:16PM
From the journals of Anne Frank to the diary room of Big Brother, private places to offload inner thoughts and feelings have long been recognised as therapeutic. It's a simple practice, putting pen to paper, but it can be as healing as seeing a counsellor.
Studies show writing about emotional upheavals can enhance immune function, reduce anxiety and depression, improve sleep and lift performance at school or work, says James Pennebaker, professor of psychology at the University of Texas.
In his pioneering research investigating the link between writing and good health, Pennebaker asked students to write in their journals for 15 to 20 minutes a day for four days about a traumatic event in their lives.
The health of students who wrote detailed accounts linking feelings and events improved significantly. Writing boosted their immune function for at least six weeks. After six months, health centre visits were halved.
However, those students who wrote only about the facts surrounding an event or only vented their feelings missed out on this health-enhancing effect.
Pennebaker has found it's a combination of the objective (what happened) and the subjective (what you felt about what happened) that heals - a phenomenon also observed by researcher Deb Western.
Western, a social worker and lecturer at La Trobe University in Bendigo, is examining the influence of keeping a journal on women's experience of depression.
"The women have been very clear that [keeping a journal] needs to include an emotional component in order to help them understand and make some meaning of what is happening for them," she says.
Western has used journal-keeping as a therapeutic tool in her work with women dealing with the challenges of everyday life as well as those who've suffered sexual assault, family violence and mental and physical health problems.
"Some women have said that the journal was their only form of communication when they were unwell," Western says.
Sarah, 32, a participant in Western's research group, says her journal provides "a safe place to express myself, to have my voice heard without being judged". The opportunity to vent emotions is therapeutic, she says. "It allows me to get it all out of my system and I do feel better afterwards; it's like a sigh of relief."
After the initial relief comes clarification. "I write when my head is full, when I know I'm feeling something but am not sure what, or when my mind is heavy, confused and blurry. Clarity emerges during the writing process itself, or on reflection, reading back. I can end up [in] a completely different place from when I started."
There is an almost medicinal quality to the combination of emotional catharsis and psychological insight. In his book Opening Up, Pennebaker gives scientific credibility to the common adage "it's better out than in" and says actively holding back our thoughts and feelings is hard work.
Over time, this inhibition can increase the risk of disease by gradually undermining our immune function, vascular system and even the biochemical workings of our brain and nervous systems. In contrast, talking or writing about one's deepest thoughts and feelings releases this physiological inhibition, allowing health to improve.
Pennebaker's prescription for enhancing health -- Write about something that:
* You think or worry about too much
* You often dream about
* You'd like to tell others but haven't
* You've avoided for days, weeks or years
* Is affecting your life in an unhealthy way
Explore both the event (what happened) and your feelings about it. Write continuously for at least 15 minutes on three or four consecutive days. Don't worry about grammar, spelling or sentence structure.
How to end your story
Let’s say I tell you what happens at the end: Natch vanquishes his enemies and learns to live in peace with himself. Or, Natch dies heroically. Or, Natch and his enemies join forces to take on a different enemy altogether. You know the broad strokes of any ending I could possibly think up, and you’ve seen them all a million times before. So obviously the important question is not what happens at the end of the story, but why and how.
The protagonist’s experiences are filtered through a set of moral questions or psychological dilemmas.
When does the story end? It ends when the moral or ethical or psychological question is answered, whether in the affirmative or in the negative or some combination of both.
1. We sat down to watch Silverado and the other author and I began to prophesy various plot elements as we saw them, giving them percentage chances of occurring.
One plot element? Enter character holding lit oil lamp.
Me: “100% chance that oil lamp does not make it intact out of this scene. It’s here to cause a huge fire.”
Friends: “Hah! Kevin was finally wrong! The oil lamp is intact!”
Me: (silence)
Movie: Action cuts back to scene with oil lamp. Oil lamp dramatically smashed across bookcase. Wild conflagration ensues!
Friends: “Aww….”
Me: “I’m not responsible for what the film editor does to heighten dramatic tension.”
Spoilers basically exist for the people who would be surprised or at least want to be surprised by the oil lamp smashing. Authors and reviewers already know the oil lamp is going to smash–they’re just concerned with how stylishly it’s smashed. And generally speaking, the oil lamp has to be smashed because nothing heightens dramatic tension or puts in a ticking clock sans clock like the simple physics of the building burning down around you.
I think the simplest answer to “How does the story end?” is “Whatever makes for a satisfying ending.” The hero or heroine gets the love interest of choice, which can be anything from a domestic partner to the lonely road, at which point the credits roll, the curtains fall and the last line on the page reads And they all lived happily ever after. Or everyone noble and honorable dies and the mere mortals left on the stage and in the audience gets a moment of catharsis.
The protagonist’s experiences are filtered through a set of moral questions or psychological dilemmas.
When does the story end? It ends when the moral or ethical or psychological question is answered, whether in the affirmative or in the negative or some combination of both.
1. We sat down to watch Silverado and the other author and I began to prophesy various plot elements as we saw them, giving them percentage chances of occurring.
One plot element? Enter character holding lit oil lamp.
Me: “100% chance that oil lamp does not make it intact out of this scene. It’s here to cause a huge fire.”
Friends: “Hah! Kevin was finally wrong! The oil lamp is intact!”
Me: (silence)
Movie: Action cuts back to scene with oil lamp. Oil lamp dramatically smashed across bookcase. Wild conflagration ensues!
Friends: “Aww….”
Me: “I’m not responsible for what the film editor does to heighten dramatic tension.”
Spoilers basically exist for the people who would be surprised or at least want to be surprised by the oil lamp smashing. Authors and reviewers already know the oil lamp is going to smash–they’re just concerned with how stylishly it’s smashed. And generally speaking, the oil lamp has to be smashed because nothing heightens dramatic tension or puts in a ticking clock sans clock like the simple physics of the building burning down around you.
I think the simplest answer to “How does the story end?” is “Whatever makes for a satisfying ending.” The hero or heroine gets the love interest of choice, which can be anything from a domestic partner to the lonely road, at which point the credits roll, the curtains fall and the last line on the page reads And they all lived happily ever after. Or everyone noble and honorable dies and the mere mortals left on the stage and in the audience gets a moment of catharsis.
Words
Victorian costume jewelry
Legendary
Disruptive technology
Gut-wrenching
Labor intensive
Scrutiny
Legitimate concerns
If it ain’t broke . . .
End of the line
Run? Hide? Lead!
Isolation
Rejection
Three Wolf Moon
Gaspeite
Chaco Canyon, NM
Canyon de Chelly
El Capitan
Rabbit fur
Moose hide
Petroglyph
Navajo code talker
Navajo wedding basket
Gunfight
Shootout
Stereogram
Bar bets
Cheating
Scams
Con man
Hustles
Wilderness survival
Mountain survival
Desert survival
Trapper
Trader
Trailblazer
Gunpoint
Nazi experiment
Nazi testing
Alternative history
Delusion
Victorian origin
Wagons west
Overland trail
Frontier town
Roundup camp
Hard tack
Ballistics
Toxicology
Reasoning under uncertainty
Transgression
Whodunit
Mystery writer
Bloodcurdling
Horrifying
Arsene Lupin
Desperate men
Uncanny
Lurking fear
Animal tracks
Scott Houston – Play Piano in a Flash
Barrel organ
Dancehall
Fairground organ
sociopath
Kachina
Dream catcher
Dreamkeeper
Dreamweaver
Dreamteller
Dreamstory
Dreamtalker
Mystique
R. C. Gorman
Bead patterns
Sacagawea
Chief Seattle’s Lament
Oaxacan (Wa-Haw-Ken)
Horsemanship – horse and rider are one.
Horse training – creates a bond for life
Obscure
Blessing
Hermetic
Qabbalistic
Rosicrucean
Glowing
Golden age
Ecstasy
Gnostic
Spellbinding
Spellbound
Forgery
Long hidden
Armageddon
Anunnaki
Nibiru
Fairy path
Spirit road
Otherworldly
Enigma
Uncanny
Afterlife
Akashic
Aphorism
Epigram
Retort
Putdown
Quip
Mistakes writers make
Writing a novel
Symbols
Howdunit – book of poisons
Writers guide
Ribbon flowers
12” doll clothes
Ricky Ryan
Mp3 stay sugarland
Dementia
Tyrian purple
Rarity
Winchester calendar
Winchester window display
Window display
Shop window
Storefront
Brownstone store front
Bygone era
1895 schwinn
showcase
wilderness shelter
evil genius
1958 chevy Biscayne, pink
lore
Farley Granger
Azriel
Gabriel
Raphael
Michael
Lucifer
Talisman
Vagabond
Starting a non profit business
Enchanted
Evil queen
Timeless
Dieux du stade
Avant-garde
Montage
How to change anybody by David J. Lieberman -- Reshape attitudes, behavior, feelings or beliefs
How cops operate
Strategies of war
Ingenious
Effective military principles
Conversation starters
Personality tests
Why people don’t tell the truth and how to catch them
Genuine compliments
Guided imagery
Notoriety
Audacious
Shopworn
Woodlands
Promenade
Assassin
Hired gun
Hitman
Prometheus
Motive
Opportunity
Means
Symbolism and archetypical
Tree of knowledge – forbidden fruit
A master of the partial truth
Betrayal -- Run thesaurus
Distrust
Broken trust
Lack of trust
Man and woman
Enemy – motive: hatred or pride
Absent
No protection
Adversary
Murder
Snakes? Beautiful scales
narcistic
colorful light
caduceus
angel of light
musical or musician?
Sly tales and gossip
Lies and half truths
Tree of Life – not originally forbidden but kicked out as part of punishment
Denied to eat of it was a curse that turned into a blessing, else how could we ever be saved (because we must die to live eternally)
Shattered glass
Premonition visions
Bloody hands
Shattered rear view mirror
Mirror blood
Mirror images – writing?
Left is right
Shattered windshield
Wreck?
Gunshot?
Window glass
Degenerate
Reprobate
Repulsive
Depravity
Unfitting
Enervated by vicious indulgence
Flagrant immoralities
Gross vices
Sensualist
Desires of the flesh
Travesty
Impenitent blasphemer
Forensic skill
Inculcate
Untenable
Erudition
Extreme anger
Obstinate
Antecedent
Seditious
Infecundity
Judicious use
Obloquy
Arts and crafts movement
Mission furniture
Shotgun slade classic western
Drawing coarse
Scott Houston – Play Piano in a Flash
Terry Burrows – Total Keyboard
Sampler
Elizabeth A. Custer 1889
Giacomo Casanova
Beadwork – peyote, brick, loomwork
Crocheted wire jewelry
Beading on fabric
Gourd carving for ornaments, vessels and utensils
Creating dollhouse furnishings
Ragged edge quilts
Textured quilts
Frayed edge fabrics
Elizabethan cross stitch
2-block quilts
southwest Indian jewelry
Chinese clothing of 1880s
The horse in Chinese history
Suiseki the Asian art of beautiful stones
Teddy Roosevelt
u.s. marshal classic western
linotype
Bannock War
Modoc War
Snake-Paiute War
Nez Perce Campaign
Sheepeater campaign
Elmore Leonard western stories
Frontier town
Roudup camp
Western frontier
Grey Hawk, John Tanner, Ojibbeways, Shawnee
Farley Granger
Tom Horn
Max Brand
Bank robber
Train robber
Scandal
Sham
Cowboy lore and legend
Hurricane lamp
Royal doulton
Gown
St. bridget, patron st. of healing
Lough – lake
Glen – valley
River Shannon
Perfume bottle
Egg cup
Waterford candelabra with dangling teardrops
Book of kells
Kelly green
Irish linen
Kylemore abbey
Merino wool
Walking stick
Connemara
Donegal
Tipperary
Shaving brush
Aran islands
Ilaun island
Inis or – the golden island
Fintan – salmon of knowledge
Cildren of lir
Red branch knights
Slainte! Cheers!
Irish whiskey
Paddy wagon
Pocket watch
Fox hunting
Rose dappled gown
Pie bird
Kilree cross
Chalice and paten
Trinity knot
Legendary
Disruptive technology
Gut-wrenching
Labor intensive
Scrutiny
Legitimate concerns
If it ain’t broke . . .
End of the line
Run? Hide? Lead!
Isolation
Rejection
Three Wolf Moon
Gaspeite
Chaco Canyon, NM
Canyon de Chelly
El Capitan
Rabbit fur
Moose hide
Petroglyph
Navajo code talker
Navajo wedding basket
Gunfight
Shootout
Stereogram
Bar bets
Cheating
Scams
Con man
Hustles
Wilderness survival
Mountain survival
Desert survival
Trapper
Trader
Trailblazer
Gunpoint
Nazi experiment
Nazi testing
Alternative history
Delusion
Victorian origin
Wagons west
Overland trail
Frontier town
Roundup camp
Hard tack
Ballistics
Toxicology
Reasoning under uncertainty
Transgression
Whodunit
Mystery writer
Bloodcurdling
Horrifying
Arsene Lupin
Desperate men
Uncanny
Lurking fear
Animal tracks
Scott Houston – Play Piano in a Flash
Barrel organ
Dancehall
Fairground organ
sociopath
Kachina
Dream catcher
Dreamkeeper
Dreamweaver
Dreamteller
Dreamstory
Dreamtalker
Mystique
R. C. Gorman
Bead patterns
Sacagawea
Chief Seattle’s Lament
Oaxacan (Wa-Haw-Ken)
Horsemanship – horse and rider are one.
Horse training – creates a bond for life
Obscure
Blessing
Hermetic
Qabbalistic
Rosicrucean
Glowing
Golden age
Ecstasy
Gnostic
Spellbinding
Spellbound
Forgery
Long hidden
Armageddon
Anunnaki
Nibiru
Fairy path
Spirit road
Otherworldly
Enigma
Uncanny
Afterlife
Akashic
Aphorism
Epigram
Retort
Putdown
Quip
Mistakes writers make
Writing a novel
Symbols
Howdunit – book of poisons
Writers guide
Ribbon flowers
12” doll clothes
Ricky Ryan
Mp3 stay sugarland
Dementia
Tyrian purple
Rarity
Winchester calendar
Winchester window display
Window display
Shop window
Storefront
Brownstone store front
Bygone era
1895 schwinn
showcase
wilderness shelter
evil genius
1958 chevy Biscayne, pink
lore
Farley Granger
Azriel
Gabriel
Raphael
Michael
Lucifer
Talisman
Vagabond
Starting a non profit business
Enchanted
Evil queen
Timeless
Dieux du stade
Avant-garde
Montage
How to change anybody by David J. Lieberman -- Reshape attitudes, behavior, feelings or beliefs
How cops operate
Strategies of war
Ingenious
Effective military principles
Conversation starters
Personality tests
Why people don’t tell the truth and how to catch them
Genuine compliments
Guided imagery
Notoriety
Audacious
Shopworn
Woodlands
Promenade
Assassin
Hired gun
Hitman
Prometheus
Motive
Opportunity
Means
Symbolism and archetypical
Tree of knowledge – forbidden fruit
A master of the partial truth
Betrayal -- Run thesaurus
Distrust
Broken trust
Lack of trust
Man and woman
Enemy – motive: hatred or pride
Absent
No protection
Adversary
Murder
Snakes? Beautiful scales
narcistic
colorful light
caduceus
angel of light
musical or musician?
Sly tales and gossip
Lies and half truths
Tree of Life – not originally forbidden but kicked out as part of punishment
Denied to eat of it was a curse that turned into a blessing, else how could we ever be saved (because we must die to live eternally)
Shattered glass
Premonition visions
Bloody hands
Shattered rear view mirror
Mirror blood
Mirror images – writing?
Left is right
Shattered windshield
Wreck?
Gunshot?
Window glass
Degenerate
Reprobate
Repulsive
Depravity
Unfitting
Enervated by vicious indulgence
Flagrant immoralities
Gross vices
Sensualist
Desires of the flesh
Travesty
Impenitent blasphemer
Forensic skill
Inculcate
Untenable
Erudition
Extreme anger
Obstinate
Antecedent
Seditious
Infecundity
Judicious use
Obloquy
Arts and crafts movement
Mission furniture
Shotgun slade classic western
Drawing coarse
Scott Houston – Play Piano in a Flash
Terry Burrows – Total Keyboard
Sampler
Elizabeth A. Custer 1889
Giacomo Casanova
Beadwork – peyote, brick, loomwork
Crocheted wire jewelry
Beading on fabric
Gourd carving for ornaments, vessels and utensils
Creating dollhouse furnishings
Ragged edge quilts
Textured quilts
Frayed edge fabrics
Elizabethan cross stitch
2-block quilts
southwest Indian jewelry
Chinese clothing of 1880s
The horse in Chinese history
Suiseki the Asian art of beautiful stones
Teddy Roosevelt
u.s. marshal classic western
linotype
Bannock War
Modoc War
Snake-Paiute War
Nez Perce Campaign
Sheepeater campaign
Elmore Leonard western stories
Frontier town
Roudup camp
Western frontier
Grey Hawk, John Tanner, Ojibbeways, Shawnee
Farley Granger
Tom Horn
Max Brand
Bank robber
Train robber
Scandal
Sham
Cowboy lore and legend
Hurricane lamp
Royal doulton
Gown
St. bridget, patron st. of healing
Lough – lake
Glen – valley
River Shannon
Perfume bottle
Egg cup
Waterford candelabra with dangling teardrops
Book of kells
Kelly green
Irish linen
Kylemore abbey
Merino wool
Walking stick
Connemara
Donegal
Tipperary
Shaving brush
Aran islands
Ilaun island
Inis or – the golden island
Fintan – salmon of knowledge
Cildren of lir
Red branch knights
Slainte! Cheers!
Irish whiskey
Paddy wagon
Pocket watch
Fox hunting
Rose dappled gown
Pie bird
Kilree cross
Chalice and paten
Trinity knot
Victorian How-To's
The following quips are from GODEY'S Lady's Book, July - Dec. 1865:
• TO TAKE MILDEW OUT OF LINEN:
Wet the linen with soft water; rub it well with white soap; then scrape some fine chalk to powder, and rub it well into the linen; lay it out on the grass in sunshine, watching to keep it damp with soft water. Repeat the process the next day, and in a few hours the mildew will entirely disappear.
• TO MAKE GOOD COFFEE:
Put a cup full of coffee in a pot, break in an egg, pour about a quart of hot water on it, boil for an hour, strain through muslin…
• THE EFFECTS OF A SUNBURN:
Wash face at night in sour milk…. And in the morning with brau tea and a little eau-de-cologne.
• WATERFALLS (Hair Fashion):
Why will the ladies, when they get a pretty fashion, contrive to burlesque it? When these waterfalls were first introduced, they were pretty and graceful; but now so much hair is bundled on the back part of the head, that we sometimes feel in fear lest the lady should topple over. Just so with crinoline; a small one is neat and pretty, a large one grotesque and ugly.
http://www.victorianelegance.com/quotes.html
• TO TAKE MILDEW OUT OF LINEN:
Wet the linen with soft water; rub it well with white soap; then scrape some fine chalk to powder, and rub it well into the linen; lay it out on the grass in sunshine, watching to keep it damp with soft water. Repeat the process the next day, and in a few hours the mildew will entirely disappear.
• TO MAKE GOOD COFFEE:
Put a cup full of coffee in a pot, break in an egg, pour about a quart of hot water on it, boil for an hour, strain through muslin…
• THE EFFECTS OF A SUNBURN:
Wash face at night in sour milk…. And in the morning with brau tea and a little eau-de-cologne.
• WATERFALLS (Hair Fashion):
Why will the ladies, when they get a pretty fashion, contrive to burlesque it? When these waterfalls were first introduced, they were pretty and graceful; but now so much hair is bundled on the back part of the head, that we sometimes feel in fear lest the lady should topple over. Just so with crinoline; a small one is neat and pretty, a large one grotesque and ugly.
http://www.victorianelegance.com/quotes.html
Brainwashing or gaslighting
gaslighting – when someone pressures you to do what you know you shouldn’t or persuades you to believe the unbelievable
1. get inside their head
2. tell them what to think
3. shake their judgment
4. sabotage their self-esteem
5. make them question their grip on reality
1. get inside their head
2. tell them what to think
3. shake their judgment
4. sabotage their self-esteem
5. make them question their grip on reality
A technique for producing ideas
Ming the Mechanic: A technique for producing ideas
The NewsLog of Flemming Funch
2007-06-07 12:32
by Flemming Funch
A technique for producing ideas is a little book by James Webb Young, originally written in 1939. It is considered quite a classic, particularly among advertising people. I didn't know about it, though, so thanks to Guy Dickinson for mentioning it.
It presents a very simple and sensible strategy for producing ideas. Nothing really revolutionary, but he makes it very clear and reproducible.
A basic concept is that new ideas come from combinations of old elements. So, you need a lot of raw material, you need to work on putting it together, and you need to give the ideas space to appear in. The technique consists of roughly these 5 steps:
1. Gather material. If there's some particular area you need ideas for, you'd want to gather all the information you have, and organize it. Specific information. If you're dealing with a particular product, you'd need to know exactly what is unique about it, what it is made of, etc. You also need a repository of more general knowledge, about life. It is often best to gather that without any immediate thought as to where it will fit in later. But delve into different areas, learn how they work, and keep the knowledge. Put together a large storehouse of information that you later can draw from.
2. Work on the particular area you have in mind. Try to combine the elements you have. Think about it all the time. Chew on everything you know. Look for connections, previously unseen relations between elements. Look for how other things you know might relate to elements of the task at hand. Work it all over, possibly to a point where you just can't stand it anymore and you aren't getting any further.
3. Then drop it. Go do something else. Really what you're doing is that you're letting sub-conscious processes take over. So, the information is being digested under the surface. New ideas are incubating, while your conscious attention is elsewhere. So, go do something entirely different, but with some emotional involvement. Go for a walk, listen to a concert, paint the fence.
4. Ideas get born. They pop into your mind when you don't expect it. Maybe when you're walking in the forest, maybe when you're snoozing in the morning. Moments of "I've got it!" are much more likely when you've done the previous steps, i.e. you've gathered material, you've mulled it over, you've let it digest, and, bing, ideas pop up.
5. Develop the idea into something useful. Go and try it out, or tell it to other people. You might need to adjust some things, or, if it is a good idea, it takes on a life of its own and takes off.
So, it is simple. No great surprise there. But if one leaves something out, it won't work so well. There's not much basis for new ideas unless you've gathered a lot of material to have ideas about or ideas with. It won't happen unless you really try to put these things together. And it probably won't happen just by working hard on it, but more likely the moment you let go. And afterwards you need to continue adjusting the idea to have it become reality.
I found the text of the book also as a PDF. And here's another review.
[< Back] [Ming the Mechanic] Category: Inspiration
The NewsLog of Flemming Funch
2007-06-07 12:32
by Flemming Funch
A technique for producing ideas is a little book by James Webb Young, originally written in 1939. It is considered quite a classic, particularly among advertising people. I didn't know about it, though, so thanks to Guy Dickinson for mentioning it.
It presents a very simple and sensible strategy for producing ideas. Nothing really revolutionary, but he makes it very clear and reproducible.
A basic concept is that new ideas come from combinations of old elements. So, you need a lot of raw material, you need to work on putting it together, and you need to give the ideas space to appear in. The technique consists of roughly these 5 steps:
1. Gather material. If there's some particular area you need ideas for, you'd want to gather all the information you have, and organize it. Specific information. If you're dealing with a particular product, you'd need to know exactly what is unique about it, what it is made of, etc. You also need a repository of more general knowledge, about life. It is often best to gather that without any immediate thought as to where it will fit in later. But delve into different areas, learn how they work, and keep the knowledge. Put together a large storehouse of information that you later can draw from.
2. Work on the particular area you have in mind. Try to combine the elements you have. Think about it all the time. Chew on everything you know. Look for connections, previously unseen relations between elements. Look for how other things you know might relate to elements of the task at hand. Work it all over, possibly to a point where you just can't stand it anymore and you aren't getting any further.
3. Then drop it. Go do something else. Really what you're doing is that you're letting sub-conscious processes take over. So, the information is being digested under the surface. New ideas are incubating, while your conscious attention is elsewhere. So, go do something entirely different, but with some emotional involvement. Go for a walk, listen to a concert, paint the fence.
4. Ideas get born. They pop into your mind when you don't expect it. Maybe when you're walking in the forest, maybe when you're snoozing in the morning. Moments of "I've got it!" are much more likely when you've done the previous steps, i.e. you've gathered material, you've mulled it over, you've let it digest, and, bing, ideas pop up.
5. Develop the idea into something useful. Go and try it out, or tell it to other people. You might need to adjust some things, or, if it is a good idea, it takes on a life of its own and takes off.
So, it is simple. No great surprise there. But if one leaves something out, it won't work so well. There's not much basis for new ideas unless you've gathered a lot of material to have ideas about or ideas with. It won't happen unless you really try to put these things together. And it probably won't happen just by working hard on it, but more likely the moment you let go. And afterwards you need to continue adjusting the idea to have it become reality.
I found the text of the book also as a PDF. And here's another review.
[< Back] [Ming the Mechanic] Category: Inspiration
You might be a cowboy if . . .
If your horse trailer cost more than your house trailer, you might be a cowboy
If you refer to your spurs as the family silver.
If you can jump from a moving horse on to the horns of a runaway steer and never lose your hat you might be a cowboy.
If your son is named after your prized bull.
If your bathtub is a stock tank.
If your horse brush is also your hairbrush you might be a cowboy.
If sleeping on the ground makes you feel rested.
If you refer to Saturday night as " bath night "
If you smell more like a horse than your horse does, you might be a cowboy.
If your idea of fun is being tied to a two-thousand pound, snot slinging,
raging bull... you might be a cowboy.
If you do all your Christmas shopping at the feed and tack store.
If your favorite fragrance is "Leather" you might be a cowboy.
And last but not least, you know you're a real cowboy if you give your word, shake on it, and stand behind it, no matter what.
Something to think about:
Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being to it is far, far
the greater.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Cowboy logic
* A smile from a good woman is better than a thousand handed out by a bartender
* Never trust somebody who agrees with you, he's probably wrong
* Always ride the horse in the direction it's going
* If it don't seem the effort, it usually ain't
* Never slap a man when he's chewing tobacco
* The most difficult man you'll meet is the one you see in the mirror every morning watching you shave. (Get it????)
• She's more evil than a sack full of rattle snakes
* He's as sorry as a two dollar watch
* She's so ugly she'd run a dog of a meat wagon
* Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining
* He's slicker than snot on a door knob
Men will always tip their hat or touch two fingers to the brim when they meet a lady on the street.
Children are taught at an early age to say "Ma'am" and "Sir" to anyone older and are generally corrected if they have a moment of brain freeze. This habit continues well into adulthood.
If ladies are present, it is a must that the hat be removed.
A lady is lady until she proves differently.
If you refer to your spurs as the family silver.
If you can jump from a moving horse on to the horns of a runaway steer and never lose your hat you might be a cowboy.
If your son is named after your prized bull.
If your bathtub is a stock tank.
If your horse brush is also your hairbrush you might be a cowboy.
If sleeping on the ground makes you feel rested.
If you refer to Saturday night as " bath night "
If you smell more like a horse than your horse does, you might be a cowboy.
If your idea of fun is being tied to a two-thousand pound, snot slinging,
raging bull... you might be a cowboy.
If you do all your Christmas shopping at the feed and tack store.
If your favorite fragrance is "Leather" you might be a cowboy.
And last but not least, you know you're a real cowboy if you give your word, shake on it, and stand behind it, no matter what.
Something to think about:
Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being to it is far, far
the greater.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Cowboy logic
* A smile from a good woman is better than a thousand handed out by a bartender
* Never trust somebody who agrees with you, he's probably wrong
* Always ride the horse in the direction it's going
* If it don't seem the effort, it usually ain't
* Never slap a man when he's chewing tobacco
* The most difficult man you'll meet is the one you see in the mirror every morning watching you shave. (Get it????)
• She's more evil than a sack full of rattle snakes
* He's as sorry as a two dollar watch
* She's so ugly she'd run a dog of a meat wagon
* Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining
* He's slicker than snot on a door knob
Men will always tip their hat or touch two fingers to the brim when they meet a lady on the street.
Children are taught at an early age to say "Ma'am" and "Sir" to anyone older and are generally corrected if they have a moment of brain freeze. This habit continues well into adulthood.
If ladies are present, it is a must that the hat be removed.
A lady is lady until she proves differently.
Mystery Writing
What are the elements of a mystery from the writer’s point of view?
a. The plot
b. The detective
c. The crime
d. The situation
1. Setting
2. Social melieu
e. The suspect pool
f. The clues including the red herrings
g. The "reveal" when the solution is revealed by the detective.
h. Motive
i. Opportunity
j. Legal- criminal justice system - aspects
Weak Strong Excellent
Characters Characters are stock, weak or unbelieveable. Characters are engaging particularly the detective. At least two characters are unforgettable, engaging or fun.
Plot The plot, though present, is unrealistic or hard to follow. Or it does not “work.” The plot has twists but remains possible, believable and compelling. The plot is ingenious, employing ruses and surprises.
Ingenuity
The story is mundane or lacks compelling detail of action, situation or character. The writer shows ingenuity in crafting the plot, characters and situation. Surprises are included. The writer has thought about the problems of creation and clearly shows some mastery.
Situation
The crime is either too brutal, too usual or the situation is unrealistic. The situation is not only possible but likely though surprising. The situation is plausible, engaging, well researched and authentic.
http://urbandreams.ousd.k12.ca.us/lessonplans/himes/lesson5_teacher.html
For a planning pdf, go to http://urbandreams.ousd.k12.ca.us/lessonplans/himes/lesson5_planning.pdf
A good mystery writer is able to present clues without cheating. For example, in the classic mystery story where someone is killed and only 4 people could have done it, a good writer telling the story plants one clue that if caught by the reader could present him or her with the solution to the mystery. This is what is what is engrossing about mystery-based fictional works of all mediums. You try to outsmart the detective, fall a step short, and admire the detective's ability to present a logical explanation for how he or she arrived at the correct conclusion when you failed, given the same data.
Sherlock Holmes, trying to explain a seemingly impossible murder during The Sign of Four, says, "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?"
http://www.housemd-guide.com/house-med/
a. The plot
b. The detective
c. The crime
d. The situation
1. Setting
2. Social melieu
e. The suspect pool
f. The clues including the red herrings
g. The "reveal" when the solution is revealed by the detective.
h. Motive
i. Opportunity
j. Legal- criminal justice system - aspects
Weak Strong Excellent
Characters Characters are stock, weak or unbelieveable. Characters are engaging particularly the detective. At least two characters are unforgettable, engaging or fun.
Plot The plot, though present, is unrealistic or hard to follow. Or it does not “work.” The plot has twists but remains possible, believable and compelling. The plot is ingenious, employing ruses and surprises.
Ingenuity
The story is mundane or lacks compelling detail of action, situation or character. The writer shows ingenuity in crafting the plot, characters and situation. Surprises are included. The writer has thought about the problems of creation and clearly shows some mastery.
Situation
The crime is either too brutal, too usual or the situation is unrealistic. The situation is not only possible but likely though surprising. The situation is plausible, engaging, well researched and authentic.
http://urbandreams.ousd.k12.ca.us/lessonplans/himes/lesson5_teacher.html
For a planning pdf, go to http://urbandreams.ousd.k12.ca.us/lessonplans/himes/lesson5_planning.pdf
A good mystery writer is able to present clues without cheating. For example, in the classic mystery story where someone is killed and only 4 people could have done it, a good writer telling the story plants one clue that if caught by the reader could present him or her with the solution to the mystery. This is what is what is engrossing about mystery-based fictional works of all mediums. You try to outsmart the detective, fall a step short, and admire the detective's ability to present a logical explanation for how he or she arrived at the correct conclusion when you failed, given the same data.
Sherlock Holmes, trying to explain a seemingly impossible murder during The Sign of Four, says, "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?"
http://www.housemd-guide.com/house-med/
The Key to the Case
Posted By Jem Bloomfeld On May 26, 2007 @ 9:30 pm In Mystery, Essays | 5 Comments
‘She smiled back at me, closed my door, and a few moments later I heard her key turn in the lock.’ ‘Indeed,’ said Holmes, ‘Was it always your custom to lock yourselves in at night?’
The locked room mystery has been a staple of detective fiction since Edgar Allan Poe’s The Murders in the Rue Morgue presented Auguste Dupin with two corpses and apparently no way for the murderer to have entered or left. Admittedly Poe “cheated” rather in this case – the skylight had a spring catch which allowed it to shut and lock itself – but the basic situation has been repeated frequently over the years, particularly as a feature of the “clue-puzzle” whodunnit, being used as a plot device in stories featuring Sherlock Holmes (The Adventure of the Speckled Band), The Thinking Machine (The Problem of Cell 13) and Miss Marple (The Blue Geranium), amongst others.
The locked room has an obvious appeal for fans of detective fiction. It immediately presents the reader with a problem: something apparently impossible has happened, and since whodunnits do not countenance the inexplicable or the supernatural, there must be a solution. Like a hermetically sealed test-tube, it is a microcosm of the mystery genre: a puzzle, a crime, a victim, a solution, and all bracketed within one room – which is probably the reason it has been used in so many short stories.
It is a microcosm in another way: all classic detective fiction tends towards this enclosed space. Agatha Christie, in particular, seem to specialise in ingenious ways of cutting off her characters from the outside world, whether in a train (Murder on the Orient Express), an aeroplane (Death in the Clouds), a pleasure-boat (Death on the Nile) a private island (And Then There Were None) or just the old traditional house-in-a-storm-when-the-telephone-lines-are-down (The Mousetrap). This has the obvious result of increasing suspense, especially in the stories where the murderer continues picking off the other suspects one by one. (This variant always seems to borrow the logic of medieval witch-tests – I wonder if it was Colonel Ban…whoops, no, turns out he’s innocent. Disembowelled, but innocent.) There is a more basic narrative need at work, though – more basic even than the growing tension. The locked room (or train, attic, apartment block, caravan…) sets limits to the mystery. A murder which occurred sometime between Tuesday and Friday in the rough area of Kings Cross would be very tricky material for a detective story: the classic whodunnit depends upon specific times and places, measured distances, cross-checked timetables, the exact quantity of ash which falls from a cigar in a quarter of an hour. As a genre, it insists that the world makes sense, and can be analysed logically. The limiting of time and space goes some way towards reducing the messy, complicated issue of murder to a crossword puzzle, or a theorem. When this has been achieved, it can be solved.
This drive to analyse is more than a requirement of the whodunnit genre, it is an emotional need implicit in all novels. Novels allow the awkward, graceless stream of details which make up our lives to be frozen, set down and arranged in patterns which make them meaningful. The conventions of “beginning, middle and end”, or “conflict, turning-point, resolution” impose formal patterns on their material which are similar, though subtler, to the rhymes of poetry or the verse and chorus of a song. In fact, the whodunnit seems rather like much of modern poetry in its insistence upon the importance of mundane items and events. Where William Carlos Williams draws attention to the wonder and significance of wheelbarrows and ice-boxes (in his own phrase, “so much depends” upon them), authors like Agatha Christie and Arthur Conan Doyle make them turning-points between life and death, guilt and innocence, investing cups of cocoa, walks in the garden or train tickets with the power of sacred items.
However, the comparison with crosswords and poetry shouldn’t imply that the conventions of the detective story merely provide an orderly or aesthetic satisfaction. They’re a popular, disposal form, but they deal with the same themes which have motivated the great tragedies: death, guilt, and the search for meaning. (It is worth bearing in mind that Agatha Christie was an archaeologist, Arthur Conan Doyle experimented with spiritualism, and Dorothy L. Sayers translated Dante’s Inferno.) They try to make sense of human experience through the social conventions of English middle-class life and train timetables, but they are articulating the same need for explanation that makes the bereaved relatives ask the minister “Why?” In sermons and newspapers, the anguish of a young person’s death is often described as “a terrible waste”, as if Newtonian physics could be applied to the mysteries of life and death. Agatha Christie’s novels, with their fussy and sometimes tedious emphasis on the details of alibis, attempt to do just that, to call death to account and make the world obey a meaningful economy.
This is why, according to the classic “rules” of the form, the writer is obliged to show the reader all the significant clues, and not to introduce some completely extraneous solution at the end of the mystery. The inconsistency in an alibi, the missing half an hour, the knowledge that a suspect should not have had, must be presented to the reader, but swamped by the mass of details and “red herrings” so that their significance is not immediately apparent. Whodunnits are often read as an implicit challenge to the reader, to match their wits against the mystery, though personally I have practically never “solved” one except by a lucky guess or the unfair application of the “least-likely person” convention. I don’t know how far mystery writers intended their works to be solvable, and how many readers would bother to sit up all night smoking and thinking the problem out, rather than spend the same time reading the book, but the denouement ideally shows that the solution came out of the clues presented – back to the analogy with an equation. On this level at least, the more baffling the collection of clues, and the more tightly they are bound into the solution, the more satisfying we find a whodunnit, which suggests that such self-sufficiency is an essential element of the literary job it has to do. It presents a completely incomprehensible jumble of facts and objects, then explains them into a meaningful pattern. Most importantly, we see the investigation occurring – unlike lyric poetry, which offers a transcendent moment of explanation, the whodunnit shows us the process by which understanding is reached, even if we only understand them fully in retrospect, when the sleuth reveals what he was up to with the dates on the tulip crate.
Of course this explanation, or “movement from disorder to order”, doesn’t happen in an orderly straight line. The sudden “dénouement” has less in common with the solving of a crossword than the flourish with which a conjuror pulls off a trick. In fact, considering the importance of a magician’s props, the art of misdirection, the characteristic patter which conceals vital sleights of hand, the analogy seems to get stronger, and the locked room looks more like the heavily padlocked box into which the spangly assistant steps before being cut in half, stabbed by swords, or disappearing entirely. Whodunnits are a crowd-pleasing art as well as a philosophical problem, and people have always been interested in entertaining feats which “defy death”. There is a Houdini-style bravado in an author taking a body, putting it in a bedroom, changing the locks, hiding one key under the jewel case, hanging the only other duplicate in full view in the hall, brewing strong coffee to stop the maid outside the door from falling asleep, boarding over the window (with rusty nails) and throwing the digitalis pills into the shrubbery, challenging the reader to speculate how they will “get out of this one”. Though conjurers don’t reveal the method behind their tricks, they also produce apparently impossible effects, which are comfortingly underwritten by the knowledge that there is a logical explanation.
Magicians perform their illusions in front of large audiences, however – in the whodunnit we are more often presented with the image of the detective sitting alone thinking. The enclosing effect I mentioned at the beginning seems to apply to solving crimes as well as committing them. Though Sherlock Homes did on occasion dash over the Yorkshire moors, or shadow a suspect in disguise, the image which persists is him immobile in his chair, declaring “it is quite a three pipe problem.” Poirot certainly casts scorn on Inspector Japp’s eagerness to dash here and there, rather than composing himself and applying “the method” and “the little grey cells.” Some carry this to extremes: Nero Wolfe refuses to leave his house, solving cases from the reports which are brought to him, but all the classic detectives tend to mirror the locked room in their own methods of deliberation – just as the novel locks their thoughts away from us, only allowing us access via the muddled and misdirected sidekick. This silent deliberation is mirrored once more in the form, by the reader themselves. Holmes, solitary in his pipe smoke and armchair, Poirot sitting at a desk, Miss Marple in her easy chair, looking casually out at the garden, all look curiously like a reader, who cuts themselves off from the real world to concentrate on the internal world of the book, only discussing it after the experience is over. Paradoxically, despite the special talents of these sleuths, their arm-chair self-sufficiency reassures us that mysteries can be resolved through the quiet, analytical action we are undertaking as we read. The whodunnit, secure within its “binding”, allows some of the most difficult questions of human experience to be contained, broken down and resolved in the space of a few hours and a few hundred pages. Whether they stay resolved is another matter – and possibly the key to the genre’s addictive tendencies!
Article printed from California Literary Review: http://calitreview.com
URL to article: http://calitreview.com/2007/05/26/the-key-to-the-case/
‘She smiled back at me, closed my door, and a few moments later I heard her key turn in the lock.’ ‘Indeed,’ said Holmes, ‘Was it always your custom to lock yourselves in at night?’
The locked room mystery has been a staple of detective fiction since Edgar Allan Poe’s The Murders in the Rue Morgue presented Auguste Dupin with two corpses and apparently no way for the murderer to have entered or left. Admittedly Poe “cheated” rather in this case – the skylight had a spring catch which allowed it to shut and lock itself – but the basic situation has been repeated frequently over the years, particularly as a feature of the “clue-puzzle” whodunnit, being used as a plot device in stories featuring Sherlock Holmes (The Adventure of the Speckled Band), The Thinking Machine (The Problem of Cell 13) and Miss Marple (The Blue Geranium), amongst others.
The locked room has an obvious appeal for fans of detective fiction. It immediately presents the reader with a problem: something apparently impossible has happened, and since whodunnits do not countenance the inexplicable or the supernatural, there must be a solution. Like a hermetically sealed test-tube, it is a microcosm of the mystery genre: a puzzle, a crime, a victim, a solution, and all bracketed within one room – which is probably the reason it has been used in so many short stories.
It is a microcosm in another way: all classic detective fiction tends towards this enclosed space. Agatha Christie, in particular, seem to specialise in ingenious ways of cutting off her characters from the outside world, whether in a train (Murder on the Orient Express), an aeroplane (Death in the Clouds), a pleasure-boat (Death on the Nile) a private island (And Then There Were None) or just the old traditional house-in-a-storm-when-the-telephone-lines-are-down (The Mousetrap). This has the obvious result of increasing suspense, especially in the stories where the murderer continues picking off the other suspects one by one. (This variant always seems to borrow the logic of medieval witch-tests – I wonder if it was Colonel Ban…whoops, no, turns out he’s innocent. Disembowelled, but innocent.) There is a more basic narrative need at work, though – more basic even than the growing tension. The locked room (or train, attic, apartment block, caravan…) sets limits to the mystery. A murder which occurred sometime between Tuesday and Friday in the rough area of Kings Cross would be very tricky material for a detective story: the classic whodunnit depends upon specific times and places, measured distances, cross-checked timetables, the exact quantity of ash which falls from a cigar in a quarter of an hour. As a genre, it insists that the world makes sense, and can be analysed logically. The limiting of time and space goes some way towards reducing the messy, complicated issue of murder to a crossword puzzle, or a theorem. When this has been achieved, it can be solved.
This drive to analyse is more than a requirement of the whodunnit genre, it is an emotional need implicit in all novels. Novels allow the awkward, graceless stream of details which make up our lives to be frozen, set down and arranged in patterns which make them meaningful. The conventions of “beginning, middle and end”, or “conflict, turning-point, resolution” impose formal patterns on their material which are similar, though subtler, to the rhymes of poetry or the verse and chorus of a song. In fact, the whodunnit seems rather like much of modern poetry in its insistence upon the importance of mundane items and events. Where William Carlos Williams draws attention to the wonder and significance of wheelbarrows and ice-boxes (in his own phrase, “so much depends” upon them), authors like Agatha Christie and Arthur Conan Doyle make them turning-points between life and death, guilt and innocence, investing cups of cocoa, walks in the garden or train tickets with the power of sacred items.
However, the comparison with crosswords and poetry shouldn’t imply that the conventions of the detective story merely provide an orderly or aesthetic satisfaction. They’re a popular, disposal form, but they deal with the same themes which have motivated the great tragedies: death, guilt, and the search for meaning. (It is worth bearing in mind that Agatha Christie was an archaeologist, Arthur Conan Doyle experimented with spiritualism, and Dorothy L. Sayers translated Dante’s Inferno.) They try to make sense of human experience through the social conventions of English middle-class life and train timetables, but they are articulating the same need for explanation that makes the bereaved relatives ask the minister “Why?” In sermons and newspapers, the anguish of a young person’s death is often described as “a terrible waste”, as if Newtonian physics could be applied to the mysteries of life and death. Agatha Christie’s novels, with their fussy and sometimes tedious emphasis on the details of alibis, attempt to do just that, to call death to account and make the world obey a meaningful economy.
This is why, according to the classic “rules” of the form, the writer is obliged to show the reader all the significant clues, and not to introduce some completely extraneous solution at the end of the mystery. The inconsistency in an alibi, the missing half an hour, the knowledge that a suspect should not have had, must be presented to the reader, but swamped by the mass of details and “red herrings” so that their significance is not immediately apparent. Whodunnits are often read as an implicit challenge to the reader, to match their wits against the mystery, though personally I have practically never “solved” one except by a lucky guess or the unfair application of the “least-likely person” convention. I don’t know how far mystery writers intended their works to be solvable, and how many readers would bother to sit up all night smoking and thinking the problem out, rather than spend the same time reading the book, but the denouement ideally shows that the solution came out of the clues presented – back to the analogy with an equation. On this level at least, the more baffling the collection of clues, and the more tightly they are bound into the solution, the more satisfying we find a whodunnit, which suggests that such self-sufficiency is an essential element of the literary job it has to do. It presents a completely incomprehensible jumble of facts and objects, then explains them into a meaningful pattern. Most importantly, we see the investigation occurring – unlike lyric poetry, which offers a transcendent moment of explanation, the whodunnit shows us the process by which understanding is reached, even if we only understand them fully in retrospect, when the sleuth reveals what he was up to with the dates on the tulip crate.
Of course this explanation, or “movement from disorder to order”, doesn’t happen in an orderly straight line. The sudden “dénouement” has less in common with the solving of a crossword than the flourish with which a conjuror pulls off a trick. In fact, considering the importance of a magician’s props, the art of misdirection, the characteristic patter which conceals vital sleights of hand, the analogy seems to get stronger, and the locked room looks more like the heavily padlocked box into which the spangly assistant steps before being cut in half, stabbed by swords, or disappearing entirely. Whodunnits are a crowd-pleasing art as well as a philosophical problem, and people have always been interested in entertaining feats which “defy death”. There is a Houdini-style bravado in an author taking a body, putting it in a bedroom, changing the locks, hiding one key under the jewel case, hanging the only other duplicate in full view in the hall, brewing strong coffee to stop the maid outside the door from falling asleep, boarding over the window (with rusty nails) and throwing the digitalis pills into the shrubbery, challenging the reader to speculate how they will “get out of this one”. Though conjurers don’t reveal the method behind their tricks, they also produce apparently impossible effects, which are comfortingly underwritten by the knowledge that there is a logical explanation.
Magicians perform their illusions in front of large audiences, however – in the whodunnit we are more often presented with the image of the detective sitting alone thinking. The enclosing effect I mentioned at the beginning seems to apply to solving crimes as well as committing them. Though Sherlock Homes did on occasion dash over the Yorkshire moors, or shadow a suspect in disguise, the image which persists is him immobile in his chair, declaring “it is quite a three pipe problem.” Poirot certainly casts scorn on Inspector Japp’s eagerness to dash here and there, rather than composing himself and applying “the method” and “the little grey cells.” Some carry this to extremes: Nero Wolfe refuses to leave his house, solving cases from the reports which are brought to him, but all the classic detectives tend to mirror the locked room in their own methods of deliberation – just as the novel locks their thoughts away from us, only allowing us access via the muddled and misdirected sidekick. This silent deliberation is mirrored once more in the form, by the reader themselves. Holmes, solitary in his pipe smoke and armchair, Poirot sitting at a desk, Miss Marple in her easy chair, looking casually out at the garden, all look curiously like a reader, who cuts themselves off from the real world to concentrate on the internal world of the book, only discussing it after the experience is over. Paradoxically, despite the special talents of these sleuths, their arm-chair self-sufficiency reassures us that mysteries can be resolved through the quiet, analytical action we are undertaking as we read. The whodunnit, secure within its “binding”, allows some of the most difficult questions of human experience to be contained, broken down and resolved in the space of a few hours and a few hundred pages. Whether they stay resolved is another matter – and possibly the key to the genre’s addictive tendencies!
Article printed from California Literary Review: http://calitreview.com
URL to article: http://calitreview.com/2007/05/26/the-key-to-the-case/
History of the detective novel
Detective story - The basic formula is this: a murder occurs; many are suspected; all but one suspect, who is the murderer, are eliminated; the murderer is arrested or dies.
- W. H. Auden in "The Guilty Vicarage"
The detective story is surprisingly young, and though many elements of the genre, such as deductive reasoning, are found in earlier works, the first story to feature a fictional detective wasn't created until the nineteenth century. Whodunit? Well, Edgar Allan Poe according to most, though he did use the short story form instead of the novel. Many people find it odd that this very British genre was invented by an American. Of course the novels themselves deal in unlikelihoods, so it is only appropriate that the detective story's beginning be somewhat surprising and unexpected.
After Poe, it was mainly British authors such as Wilkie Collins, Charles Dickens, and Sir Author Conan Doyle who ushered the form through the 19th century, though there were some American and even French contributors too. In the early 20th century Doyle continued to write and was joined by several British women, Agatha Christie, Dorothy L. Sayers, Ngaio Marsh and Margery Allingham, who all impacted the genre and wrote during what is called the form's "Golden Age". After World War II, the genre morphed into somewhat different forms such as the hard-boiled detective novel, though some of the "Golden Age" style of writing did continue and were typically referred to as "cozies".
Modern day sees something of a second golden age with detective stories on best seller lists, in theaters and television programs. A number of variations, such as the hard-boiled detective novel, the police procedural and spy novels, fractured off from the form at various points and have grown into genres of their own, though this seems to be more the case in America than in Britain. Though no matter where or how, the key elements of a clever detective, a crime and justice prevailing continue to somehow unite these very different forms and keep the detective genre alive.
http://www.unc.edu/~rdtowery/detective_novel.htm
- W. H. Auden in "The Guilty Vicarage"
The detective story is surprisingly young, and though many elements of the genre, such as deductive reasoning, are found in earlier works, the first story to feature a fictional detective wasn't created until the nineteenth century. Whodunit? Well, Edgar Allan Poe according to most, though he did use the short story form instead of the novel. Many people find it odd that this very British genre was invented by an American. Of course the novels themselves deal in unlikelihoods, so it is only appropriate that the detective story's beginning be somewhat surprising and unexpected.
After Poe, it was mainly British authors such as Wilkie Collins, Charles Dickens, and Sir Author Conan Doyle who ushered the form through the 19th century, though there were some American and even French contributors too. In the early 20th century Doyle continued to write and was joined by several British women, Agatha Christie, Dorothy L. Sayers, Ngaio Marsh and Margery Allingham, who all impacted the genre and wrote during what is called the form's "Golden Age". After World War II, the genre morphed into somewhat different forms such as the hard-boiled detective novel, though some of the "Golden Age" style of writing did continue and were typically referred to as "cozies".
Modern day sees something of a second golden age with detective stories on best seller lists, in theaters and television programs. A number of variations, such as the hard-boiled detective novel, the police procedural and spy novels, fractured off from the form at various points and have grown into genres of their own, though this seems to be more the case in America than in Britain. Though no matter where or how, the key elements of a clever detective, a crime and justice prevailing continue to somehow unite these very different forms and keep the detective genre alive.
http://www.unc.edu/~rdtowery/detective_novel.htm
Query Letters
Okay, so the manuscript is ready to be submitted. Now you need a query letter, and those are just too hard to do. Not! The following format is so simple, you'll be submitting in no time.
Query letters are the bane of many writers' existences, and they really don't need to be. The idea of a query letter (which is completely different than a cover letter, btw), is to make the editor or agent want to know more about your manuscript. Gimicky works fine--for those who're good at that--but most editors prefer a straightforward approach. All you need are three little paragraphs.
First, make sure you've got the proper formatting for a business letter: 1 inch margins all the way around, your return address info either top center or top right, and the editor or agent's address info on the left, below yours.
Always know the correct spelling of the editor/agent's name. How would you like to get mail with your name misspelled, and then have the letter-writer expect you're going to purchase their product. Don't think so.
Then comes the body of the letter....
First paragraph: this is the grabber, the hook that should make the editor/agent want to read your book, or at least take a look at a partial. You don't need to spill every detail about the story--save it for the synopsis. This is just a teaser, kind of like a back cover blurb.
Second paragraph: this is where you mention how you learned about the editor/agent, or if you'd met them at a conference, etc, and why you're submitting to them. If you just read a book by an author they edited, this would be the place to mention that.
Third paragraph: bio information. Keep this writing related, or if you're an expert in something related to your story, that info can be included here. They don't want to know about your hobbies or anything else, unless it relates to the book.
Always thank them for their time, and then close with something formal like a "Sincerely."
Piece of cake! Here's a quick example of a query letter:
Dear Ms. High-powered Editor,
Psychiatrist Emily Grayson has seen too much and now must hide out from a client gone berserk. Too bad her hiding spot already has another fugitive--sexy undercover FBI agent Lyle Stevens. Lyle's latest assignment has him ferreting out a local drug lord, and Emily's appearance puts a serious crimp in his plans--until he finds out her client is the drug lord he's trying to catch. Now they've got to work together to stop this creep before he can do away with Emily, because Lyle has other plans for the lovely doctor.
We met two months ago at the XYZ writer's conference, and spoke then about the new line you're overseeing. Based on our conversation, I think this manuscript would be perfect for your line.
I've been a member of XYZ writer's group for five years, and am currently writing a weekly newsletter for my local chapter. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, Susie Writer
Go back to the main page.
Find an agent.
Submission tips.
Format your manuscript.
http://www.geocities.com/elizwrite8/queries.html
Query letters are the bane of many writers' existences, and they really don't need to be. The idea of a query letter (which is completely different than a cover letter, btw), is to make the editor or agent want to know more about your manuscript. Gimicky works fine--for those who're good at that--but most editors prefer a straightforward approach. All you need are three little paragraphs.
First, make sure you've got the proper formatting for a business letter: 1 inch margins all the way around, your return address info either top center or top right, and the editor or agent's address info on the left, below yours.
Always know the correct spelling of the editor/agent's name. How would you like to get mail with your name misspelled, and then have the letter-writer expect you're going to purchase their product. Don't think so.
Then comes the body of the letter....
First paragraph: this is the grabber, the hook that should make the editor/agent want to read your book, or at least take a look at a partial. You don't need to spill every detail about the story--save it for the synopsis. This is just a teaser, kind of like a back cover blurb.
Second paragraph: this is where you mention how you learned about the editor/agent, or if you'd met them at a conference, etc, and why you're submitting to them. If you just read a book by an author they edited, this would be the place to mention that.
Third paragraph: bio information. Keep this writing related, or if you're an expert in something related to your story, that info can be included here. They don't want to know about your hobbies or anything else, unless it relates to the book.
Always thank them for their time, and then close with something formal like a "Sincerely."
Piece of cake! Here's a quick example of a query letter:
Dear Ms. High-powered Editor,
Psychiatrist Emily Grayson has seen too much and now must hide out from a client gone berserk. Too bad her hiding spot already has another fugitive--sexy undercover FBI agent Lyle Stevens. Lyle's latest assignment has him ferreting out a local drug lord, and Emily's appearance puts a serious crimp in his plans--until he finds out her client is the drug lord he's trying to catch. Now they've got to work together to stop this creep before he can do away with Emily, because Lyle has other plans for the lovely doctor.
We met two months ago at the XYZ writer's conference, and spoke then about the new line you're overseeing. Based on our conversation, I think this manuscript would be perfect for your line.
I've been a member of XYZ writer's group for five years, and am currently writing a weekly newsletter for my local chapter. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, Susie Writer
Go back to the main page.
Find an agent.
Submission tips.
Format your manuscript.
http://www.geocities.com/elizwrite8/queries.html
Great advertising lines
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BANDIT’S HEAD JERKED OFF BY HANGMAN’S ROPE
Submitted by dave on June 24, 2007 - 7:41pm.
Tags: Desperado | New Mexico | 1901
Black Jack Confesses That Innocent Men Suffer. Train Robber Writes Letter to President McKinley.
Oakland Tribune / April 26, 1901
CLAYTON, N.M. April 26 — Thos. E. Ketchum, alias “Black Jack,” the train robber, was hanged at 1:21 today. The rope broke but his head was jerked off.
The execution took place inside a stockade built for the purpose. The inclosure was crowded, 150 spectators having been admitted.
When Ketchum mounted the platform at 1:17 his face was very pale, but his eyes swept over the crowd boldly, as if he had no fear. A priest stood by his side as the rope was put around his neck. The condemned man had consented to this at the last moment.
DIG MY GRAVE DEEP.
Ketchum declined to make a speech before the noose was put around his neck. He merely muttered “Good-bye,” then said, “Please dig my grave very deep,” and finally, “All right, hurry up.” His legs trembled but he kept his nerve.
When the body dropped through the trap the half-inch rope severed the head as cleanly as if a knife had cut it. The body pitched forward with blood spurting from the headless trunk. The head remained in the black sack and flew down into the pit.
SOME MEN GROANED.
Some men groaned and others turned away, unable to endure the sight. For a few seconds the body was allowed to lie there half-doubled up on its right side, with the blood issuing in an intermittent stream from the severed neck as the heart kept on with its mechanical beating. Then with cries of consternation the officers rushed down from the scaffold and lifted the body from the ground. It was only then apparent exactly what happened.
The drop of the body was seven feet and the noose was made so it slipped easily. Ketchum was a heavy man, and the weight of the body, with the easy-running noose, caused the rope to cut the head cleanly off. Dr. Slack pronounced life extinct a little over five minutes from the time the body dropped through the trap. It is stated too much of a drop was given for so heavy a man. Sheriff Salome Garcia superintended the execution and himself let the trap drop.
REMARKABLE CONFESSION.
DENVER, Col.. April 26. — A special to the Denver Post from Clayton, N.M., says Thomas E. Ketchum, who was hanged there today, mailed the following letter to President McKinley this morning.
Clayton, N.M., April 26, 1901.
To His Excellency, the President of the United States, Washington, D.C. — Sir: Being now at the town of Clayton, N.M., awaiting my execution, which is set for this day, and realizing the importance to the liberty of other men, and the duty which I conceive to be incumbent upon myself, standing in the presence of death, where no human aid can reach me, I desire to communicate to you by means of this letter, some facts which I deem would be of interest to people through their President and perhaps be the means of liberating innocent men.
There are now in the Santa Fe penitentiary serving sentences for robbery of the United States mail at Stein’s Pass, Ariz., in 1897, viz: Leonard Albertson. Waller Huffman and Bill Waterman, and they are innocent of the crime as an unborn babe. The names of the men who committed the crime are Dave Atkins, Ed Fullin, Will Carver, Sam Ketchum, Broncho Bill and myself. I have given to my attorney in Clayton means by which articles taken in said robbery may be found where we hid them, and also the names of witnesses who live in that vicinity who will testify that myself and gang wore In that neighborhood both immediately before and after the robbery. The fact that these men are innocent and suffering impels me to make this confession. While you cannot help me, and while I realize that all efforts to secure to me a commutation of my sentence have signally failed, I wish to do this much in the interest of these innocent men, who, so far as I know, never committed a crime in their lives. I make this statement, fully realizing that my end is fast approaching and that I must very soon meet my Maker.
Very respectfully, your servant,
T.E. KETCHUM.
A NOTED DESPERADO.
Thomas E. Ketchum, alias “Black Jack,” was the most noted desperado of the Southwest. Although he was credited with having taken the lives of some of his fellow beings, he finally paid the forfeit with his own life for an attempted train robbery in which nobody was killed.
The crime was committed near Folsom, N M., August 16, 1899. Single-handed, “Black Jack” held up a Colorado and Southern passenger train. He ordered the engineer and fireman to uncouple the engine and leave the train. The conductor and mail agent opened fire on him, which he promptly returned. He received the contents of a double-barrelled shotgun in his right arm, but quickly changing the rifle to his left shoulder, he succeeded in wounding both conductor and mail agent. He then escaped in the darkness, but was captured next day. He was tried for assault upon a United States mail agent and sentenced to ten years in the penitentiary. Then in September, 1900, he was tried on the more serious charge of assault upon a railroad train with intent to commit a felony. He was also convicted on this charge and was sentenced to be hanged in November last.
LEADER OF BAND OF OUTLAWS.
The execution was stayed until March by an appeal to the Territorial Supreme Court, which affirmed the finding of the lower court, and in March a reprieve was granted until April 26th.
“Black Jack” was said to have been the leader of a band of outlaws who committed many train robberies and other raids in Texas, New Mexico and Arizona. This band has been scattered since his arrest.
Seven or eight have been killed, three are in jail and the others have been driven into the mountains.
TWENTY ARMED MEN.
CLAYTON, N.M., April 26. — Twenty armed deputies were on guard at the jail here in anticipation of an attempt to rescue Thomas E. Ketchum, the train robber under sentence to be hanged today, but if any friends of the bandit were here they made no demonstration. Hundreds of armed men, many of them cowboys from the surrounding country, thronged the streets today.
Ketchum received the ministrations of a priest this morning. He ate a hearty breakfast, took a bath and said he was ready to die at any hour. At 11:30 a.m. he called for music. A violin and guitar were sent for. Ketchum talked for over an hour with visitors today, cooler than any who met him. He declared death preferable to imprisonment. Ketchum told of robberies in which he was concerned, but declared he had never killed a man and only shot three. He said that he was not “Black Jack” and that that bandit still lived. Ketchum refused to give the names of friends still at liberty.
Besides giving a full account of the Stein’s Pass robbery, exonerating the men who were convicted of that crime, Ketchum said that Bud Upshaw was innocent of the murder of A.P. Powers in Texas, of which he is accused. This killing, Ketchum said, was the result of a conspiracy to which he was a party.
http://www.ghostcowboy.com/node/370
Tags: Desperado | New Mexico | 1901
Black Jack Confesses That Innocent Men Suffer. Train Robber Writes Letter to President McKinley.
Oakland Tribune / April 26, 1901
CLAYTON, N.M. April 26 — Thos. E. Ketchum, alias “Black Jack,” the train robber, was hanged at 1:21 today. The rope broke but his head was jerked off.
The execution took place inside a stockade built for the purpose. The inclosure was crowded, 150 spectators having been admitted.
When Ketchum mounted the platform at 1:17 his face was very pale, but his eyes swept over the crowd boldly, as if he had no fear. A priest stood by his side as the rope was put around his neck. The condemned man had consented to this at the last moment.
DIG MY GRAVE DEEP.
Ketchum declined to make a speech before the noose was put around his neck. He merely muttered “Good-bye,” then said, “Please dig my grave very deep,” and finally, “All right, hurry up.” His legs trembled but he kept his nerve.
When the body dropped through the trap the half-inch rope severed the head as cleanly as if a knife had cut it. The body pitched forward with blood spurting from the headless trunk. The head remained in the black sack and flew down into the pit.
SOME MEN GROANED.
Some men groaned and others turned away, unable to endure the sight. For a few seconds the body was allowed to lie there half-doubled up on its right side, with the blood issuing in an intermittent stream from the severed neck as the heart kept on with its mechanical beating. Then with cries of consternation the officers rushed down from the scaffold and lifted the body from the ground. It was only then apparent exactly what happened.
The drop of the body was seven feet and the noose was made so it slipped easily. Ketchum was a heavy man, and the weight of the body, with the easy-running noose, caused the rope to cut the head cleanly off. Dr. Slack pronounced life extinct a little over five minutes from the time the body dropped through the trap. It is stated too much of a drop was given for so heavy a man. Sheriff Salome Garcia superintended the execution and himself let the trap drop.
REMARKABLE CONFESSION.
DENVER, Col.. April 26. — A special to the Denver Post from Clayton, N.M., says Thomas E. Ketchum, who was hanged there today, mailed the following letter to President McKinley this morning.
Clayton, N.M., April 26, 1901.
To His Excellency, the President of the United States, Washington, D.C. — Sir: Being now at the town of Clayton, N.M., awaiting my execution, which is set for this day, and realizing the importance to the liberty of other men, and the duty which I conceive to be incumbent upon myself, standing in the presence of death, where no human aid can reach me, I desire to communicate to you by means of this letter, some facts which I deem would be of interest to people through their President and perhaps be the means of liberating innocent men.
There are now in the Santa Fe penitentiary serving sentences for robbery of the United States mail at Stein’s Pass, Ariz., in 1897, viz: Leonard Albertson. Waller Huffman and Bill Waterman, and they are innocent of the crime as an unborn babe. The names of the men who committed the crime are Dave Atkins, Ed Fullin, Will Carver, Sam Ketchum, Broncho Bill and myself. I have given to my attorney in Clayton means by which articles taken in said robbery may be found where we hid them, and also the names of witnesses who live in that vicinity who will testify that myself and gang wore In that neighborhood both immediately before and after the robbery. The fact that these men are innocent and suffering impels me to make this confession. While you cannot help me, and while I realize that all efforts to secure to me a commutation of my sentence have signally failed, I wish to do this much in the interest of these innocent men, who, so far as I know, never committed a crime in their lives. I make this statement, fully realizing that my end is fast approaching and that I must very soon meet my Maker.
Very respectfully, your servant,
T.E. KETCHUM.
A NOTED DESPERADO.
Thomas E. Ketchum, alias “Black Jack,” was the most noted desperado of the Southwest. Although he was credited with having taken the lives of some of his fellow beings, he finally paid the forfeit with his own life for an attempted train robbery in which nobody was killed.
The crime was committed near Folsom, N M., August 16, 1899. Single-handed, “Black Jack” held up a Colorado and Southern passenger train. He ordered the engineer and fireman to uncouple the engine and leave the train. The conductor and mail agent opened fire on him, which he promptly returned. He received the contents of a double-barrelled shotgun in his right arm, but quickly changing the rifle to his left shoulder, he succeeded in wounding both conductor and mail agent. He then escaped in the darkness, but was captured next day. He was tried for assault upon a United States mail agent and sentenced to ten years in the penitentiary. Then in September, 1900, he was tried on the more serious charge of assault upon a railroad train with intent to commit a felony. He was also convicted on this charge and was sentenced to be hanged in November last.
LEADER OF BAND OF OUTLAWS.
The execution was stayed until March by an appeal to the Territorial Supreme Court, which affirmed the finding of the lower court, and in March a reprieve was granted until April 26th.
“Black Jack” was said to have been the leader of a band of outlaws who committed many train robberies and other raids in Texas, New Mexico and Arizona. This band has been scattered since his arrest.
Seven or eight have been killed, three are in jail and the others have been driven into the mountains.
TWENTY ARMED MEN.
CLAYTON, N.M., April 26. — Twenty armed deputies were on guard at the jail here in anticipation of an attempt to rescue Thomas E. Ketchum, the train robber under sentence to be hanged today, but if any friends of the bandit were here they made no demonstration. Hundreds of armed men, many of them cowboys from the surrounding country, thronged the streets today.
Ketchum received the ministrations of a priest this morning. He ate a hearty breakfast, took a bath and said he was ready to die at any hour. At 11:30 a.m. he called for music. A violin and guitar were sent for. Ketchum talked for over an hour with visitors today, cooler than any who met him. He declared death preferable to imprisonment. Ketchum told of robberies in which he was concerned, but declared he had never killed a man and only shot three. He said that he was not “Black Jack” and that that bandit still lived. Ketchum refused to give the names of friends still at liberty.
Besides giving a full account of the Stein’s Pass robbery, exonerating the men who were convicted of that crime, Ketchum said that Bud Upshaw was innocent of the murder of A.P. Powers in Texas, of which he is accused. This killing, Ketchum said, was the result of a conspiracy to which he was a party.
http://www.ghostcowboy.com/node/370
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Story Endings, continued
How to End Your Story.
The story should end the moment the theme has been clearly, logically, and entertainingly illustrated—never before, never later. The impression a story leaves upon the reader is determined very largely by the ending; for, if the reader has gotten safely by the beginning, he, by the time the ending approaches, has forgotten the manner of introduction. Only the main salient events of the plot stand out. He is immediately concerned with the final twist of the story.
Disposing of the Characters.
The conclusion, to be impressive, must leave the main characters well disposed of. That is, one of them must not be left hanging over a cliff or in some such hazardous position, while another is abandoned while on the verge of a momentous decision. We must be satisfied with the author's disposition of the characters, while the closing incident must be of such a nature that the theme stands forth in the mind, clearly outlined, nicely illuminated.
Do Not Moralize.
The conclusion of the story should never be utilized by the author as a means of moralizing on the story's characters or humanity in general. The author should not conclude by saying that "the wages of sin is death," and that that was the lot which came to the villain, continuing by observing that such a lot will come to all mankind unless it reforms immediately. The ending of the story should be as severely bare of all personalities by the author as any other portion of the story. The ending should deal only with the final demonstration of the theme or the working out of the climax; it should terminate the story pointedly. After the climax, the reader's suspense and curiosity pales rapidly; hence the necessity of narrating with expediteness the few events which deposit all the elements of the story in their natural positions.
Identifying the Ending With the Climax.
In a large number of stories, particularly those of O. Henry and Edgar Allan Poe, as well as a multitude of present-day writers, the conclusion is identical with the climax. This is particularly the case when the story is one of character alone, when the main personage makes some great decision which bears out the theme: such as a man who, under great stress of emotion and circumstance, finally decides that duty to his country is greater than his love of self-preservation and his desire for the beautiful prospects that life holds out for him. The man's decision is at once the climax and the ending; for, after he has made the decision, we know well what his future course will be.
Or, again, in the story of incident, the hero is straining every ounce of energy to reach a certain place before a catastrophe occurs involving some one dear to him. The climax and the ending very well might be the saving of the life or the rescue from the dangerous position of the other main character involved. Poe's story, "The Pit and Pendulum," is a production of this kind, in which the climax coincides with the conclusion.
I struggled no more, but the agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long, and final scream of despair. I felt that I tottered upon the brink—I averted my eyes—
There was a discordant hum of human voices! There was a loud blast as of many trumpets! There was a harsh grating as of a thousand thunders! The fiery walls rushed back! An outstretched hand caught my own as I fell fainting into the abyss. It was that of General Lasselle. The French army had entered Toledo. The Inquisition was in the hands of its enemies.
Taking Care to Conclude Properly.
If for no other reason than that of impressing the editor alone, the story ending should have just as critical and painstaking preparation as the introduction or the climax. Remember that the editor is purchasing the story for the edification and delight of his readers, and that which fails to impress him, he will argue, should never reach the eyes of his readers. Consequently, the young author should ceaselessly contrive to end his story as simply, as intensively, as suggestively, and as rapidly as possible immediately after the main event of the story has occurred.
Knowing Beforehand How the Story Will End.
It is necessary that the writer have the manner of ending his story well in mind even before he starts it. If he fails to give the introduction, the body, the climax, and the conclusion of his story due regard, and fails to balance them nicely before setting pen to paper, his end is very likely to simmer out miserably. Usually, the young author takes to his writing flush with intense enthusiasm; his characters go along finely at the start. But, unless he is capable of sustained effort, he will tire toward the end, and the importance of ending with just as much dash and care will not seem of sufficient importance.
This tendency is especially prevalent with the amateur because he has not yet learned that story writing is not a thing of inspiration and enthusiasm alone. It is a matter of persistent work, often very arduous and tiring, both mentally and bodily. Hence, the vital need of mapping out beforehand the relative position and the quantitative importance to be held by each detail.
We present, as an excellent example of story ending, the conclusion of O. Henry's story, "The Buyer From Cactus City." The hero, a wealthy Westerner, has come to the Big City to purchase for his department store goods from Zizzbaum & Son. He meets, while going over the latest styles, the store's beautiful, though sophisticated, model. He falls in love with her, frankly and outspokenly. Zizzbaum, with an eye to business, commands the model to show the Westerner an entertaining evening about the city. The model, calmly aware of her part, agrees.
The two are out that evening. . While in a cabaret, the Westerner declares his love, casually stating that he is going to take the girl back as his wife, buy her a beautiful home, automobile, and so on. The girl disgustedly replies that she has "heard that before." She informs him that he is the usual heartless, sordid type, and that she is out with him only to jolly him along and get him to buy heavily from Zizzbaum & Son. She must play this role or lose her job. Then the persistent and outspoken Westerner produces a gorgeous diamond ring. The girl repulses him. The two go home, and, at parting, the girl strikes her escort in the face. As he steps back, a ring falls from somewhere. Let O. Henry tell the rest:
Platt groped for it and found it.
"Now, take your useless diamond and go, Mr. Buyer," she said.
"This was the other one—the wedding ring," said the Texan, holding the smooth gold band on the palm of his hand.
Miss Asher's eyes blazed upon him in the half darkness.
"Was that what you meant?—did you"—
Somebody opened the door from inside the house.
"Good night," said Platt. "I'll see you at the store tomorrow."
Miss Asher ran up to her room and shook the school teacher until she sat up in bed to scream "Fire!"
"Where is it?" she cried.
"That's what I want to know," said the model.. You've studied geography, Emma, and you ought to know. Where is a town called Cac—Cac—Carac—Caracas City, I think they called it?"
"How dare you wake me up for that?" said the school teacher. "Caracas is in Venezuela, of course."
"What's it like?"
"Why, it's principally earthquakes and negroes and monkeys and malarial fever and volcanoes."
"I don't care," said Miss Asher blithely; "I'm going there to-morrow."
Tragical and Happy Endings.
The editor reasons that his magazine is primarily a means of amusement and entertainment ; there is no more reason why the amusement afforded by his magazine should result unhappily for all concerned than that other pleasures, such as skating or dancing, should end disastrously, with a drowning or a broken leg.
Editors must buy stories with happy endings because the people desire them almost exclusively. There is an instinct inherent in all of us which strives to realize only the healthy, the beautiful, and cheerfully wholesome in life. The tragical ending is permissible only on rare occasions, only when some wrong must be righted or some great theme impressed upon the laggard brain.
STORY ENDINGS
Write a paragraph or a story using these statements or questions as the last line.
1. Then I called the police.
2. Mom was right after all.
3. And that was the end of that!
4. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is!
5. It hurt!
6. Watch out!
7. He yelled at the top of his lungs.
8. Dad ended up walking home.
9. There was water all over the floor.
10. My parents decided it was time to visit the school.
11. My teacher actually fainted!
12. Fortunately there was an escape hatch.
13. My little sister slept right through it.
14. Didn't I tell you that my brother/sister was the greatest?
15. "We'll never go to that place again," muttered my mother.
16. She was in love, finally, completely in love with the strange creature in the box.
17. He lit his cigar with an ice cube and fainted.
18. Pink hair was the only answer.
19. That’s why he has a tattoo in the weirdest place.
20. I can’t imagine such a thing ever happening again.
The story should end the moment the theme has been clearly, logically, and entertainingly illustrated—never before, never later. The impression a story leaves upon the reader is determined very largely by the ending; for, if the reader has gotten safely by the beginning, he, by the time the ending approaches, has forgotten the manner of introduction. Only the main salient events of the plot stand out. He is immediately concerned with the final twist of the story.
Disposing of the Characters.
The conclusion, to be impressive, must leave the main characters well disposed of. That is, one of them must not be left hanging over a cliff or in some such hazardous position, while another is abandoned while on the verge of a momentous decision. We must be satisfied with the author's disposition of the characters, while the closing incident must be of such a nature that the theme stands forth in the mind, clearly outlined, nicely illuminated.
Do Not Moralize.
The conclusion of the story should never be utilized by the author as a means of moralizing on the story's characters or humanity in general. The author should not conclude by saying that "the wages of sin is death," and that that was the lot which came to the villain, continuing by observing that such a lot will come to all mankind unless it reforms immediately. The ending of the story should be as severely bare of all personalities by the author as any other portion of the story. The ending should deal only with the final demonstration of the theme or the working out of the climax; it should terminate the story pointedly. After the climax, the reader's suspense and curiosity pales rapidly; hence the necessity of narrating with expediteness the few events which deposit all the elements of the story in their natural positions.
Identifying the Ending With the Climax.
In a large number of stories, particularly those of O. Henry and Edgar Allan Poe, as well as a multitude of present-day writers, the conclusion is identical with the climax. This is particularly the case when the story is one of character alone, when the main personage makes some great decision which bears out the theme: such as a man who, under great stress of emotion and circumstance, finally decides that duty to his country is greater than his love of self-preservation and his desire for the beautiful prospects that life holds out for him. The man's decision is at once the climax and the ending; for, after he has made the decision, we know well what his future course will be.
Or, again, in the story of incident, the hero is straining every ounce of energy to reach a certain place before a catastrophe occurs involving some one dear to him. The climax and the ending very well might be the saving of the life or the rescue from the dangerous position of the other main character involved. Poe's story, "The Pit and Pendulum," is a production of this kind, in which the climax coincides with the conclusion.
I struggled no more, but the agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long, and final scream of despair. I felt that I tottered upon the brink—I averted my eyes—
There was a discordant hum of human voices! There was a loud blast as of many trumpets! There was a harsh grating as of a thousand thunders! The fiery walls rushed back! An outstretched hand caught my own as I fell fainting into the abyss. It was that of General Lasselle. The French army had entered Toledo. The Inquisition was in the hands of its enemies.
Taking Care to Conclude Properly.
If for no other reason than that of impressing the editor alone, the story ending should have just as critical and painstaking preparation as the introduction or the climax. Remember that the editor is purchasing the story for the edification and delight of his readers, and that which fails to impress him, he will argue, should never reach the eyes of his readers. Consequently, the young author should ceaselessly contrive to end his story as simply, as intensively, as suggestively, and as rapidly as possible immediately after the main event of the story has occurred.
Knowing Beforehand How the Story Will End.
It is necessary that the writer have the manner of ending his story well in mind even before he starts it. If he fails to give the introduction, the body, the climax, and the conclusion of his story due regard, and fails to balance them nicely before setting pen to paper, his end is very likely to simmer out miserably. Usually, the young author takes to his writing flush with intense enthusiasm; his characters go along finely at the start. But, unless he is capable of sustained effort, he will tire toward the end, and the importance of ending with just as much dash and care will not seem of sufficient importance.
This tendency is especially prevalent with the amateur because he has not yet learned that story writing is not a thing of inspiration and enthusiasm alone. It is a matter of persistent work, often very arduous and tiring, both mentally and bodily. Hence, the vital need of mapping out beforehand the relative position and the quantitative importance to be held by each detail.
We present, as an excellent example of story ending, the conclusion of O. Henry's story, "The Buyer From Cactus City." The hero, a wealthy Westerner, has come to the Big City to purchase for his department store goods from Zizzbaum & Son. He meets, while going over the latest styles, the store's beautiful, though sophisticated, model. He falls in love with her, frankly and outspokenly. Zizzbaum, with an eye to business, commands the model to show the Westerner an entertaining evening about the city. The model, calmly aware of her part, agrees.
The two are out that evening. . While in a cabaret, the Westerner declares his love, casually stating that he is going to take the girl back as his wife, buy her a beautiful home, automobile, and so on. The girl disgustedly replies that she has "heard that before." She informs him that he is the usual heartless, sordid type, and that she is out with him only to jolly him along and get him to buy heavily from Zizzbaum & Son. She must play this role or lose her job. Then the persistent and outspoken Westerner produces a gorgeous diamond ring. The girl repulses him. The two go home, and, at parting, the girl strikes her escort in the face. As he steps back, a ring falls from somewhere. Let O. Henry tell the rest:
Platt groped for it and found it.
"Now, take your useless diamond and go, Mr. Buyer," she said.
"This was the other one—the wedding ring," said the Texan, holding the smooth gold band on the palm of his hand.
Miss Asher's eyes blazed upon him in the half darkness.
"Was that what you meant?—did you"—
Somebody opened the door from inside the house.
"Good night," said Platt. "I'll see you at the store tomorrow."
Miss Asher ran up to her room and shook the school teacher until she sat up in bed to scream "Fire!"
"Where is it?" she cried.
"That's what I want to know," said the model.. You've studied geography, Emma, and you ought to know. Where is a town called Cac—Cac—Carac—Caracas City, I think they called it?"
"How dare you wake me up for that?" said the school teacher. "Caracas is in Venezuela, of course."
"What's it like?"
"Why, it's principally earthquakes and negroes and monkeys and malarial fever and volcanoes."
"I don't care," said Miss Asher blithely; "I'm going there to-morrow."
Tragical and Happy Endings.
The editor reasons that his magazine is primarily a means of amusement and entertainment ; there is no more reason why the amusement afforded by his magazine should result unhappily for all concerned than that other pleasures, such as skating or dancing, should end disastrously, with a drowning or a broken leg.
Editors must buy stories with happy endings because the people desire them almost exclusively. There is an instinct inherent in all of us which strives to realize only the healthy, the beautiful, and cheerfully wholesome in life. The tragical ending is permissible only on rare occasions, only when some wrong must be righted or some great theme impressed upon the laggard brain.
STORY ENDINGS
Write a paragraph or a story using these statements or questions as the last line.
1. Then I called the police.
2. Mom was right after all.
3. And that was the end of that!
4. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is!
5. It hurt!
6. Watch out!
7. He yelled at the top of his lungs.
8. Dad ended up walking home.
9. There was water all over the floor.
10. My parents decided it was time to visit the school.
11. My teacher actually fainted!
12. Fortunately there was an escape hatch.
13. My little sister slept right through it.
14. Didn't I tell you that my brother/sister was the greatest?
15. "We'll never go to that place again," muttered my mother.
16. She was in love, finally, completely in love with the strange creature in the box.
17. He lit his cigar with an ice cube and fainted.
18. Pink hair was the only answer.
19. That’s why he has a tattoo in the weirdest place.
20. I can’t imagine such a thing ever happening again.
Avoid Common Problems with Story Endings
Archived on 10/15/2007
From the Extended Short Story Writing Workshop: The (Last) Most Important Part of Your Story
In truth, the ending of your story is no more important than the beginning or middle, but it is the part a reader will mostly likely remember. It's also the part where the reader finds out if the story holds together, where he learns if its parts have (to use Rust Hills's definition) "worked effectively together harmoniously to comprise the story's whole meaning."
In Fiction Writer's Handbook (Harper & Row, 1975) former STORY editors Hallie and Whit Burnett write: "In our ending, the key moment of our story, all the events and emotions and characters that have gone before will be seen to have had significance. Even if this is not recognized by the character experiencing the drama, we, as author, must now reveal what we have understood and known all along. That conflict in those series of encounters which created our suspense and seemed to lead in contradictory directions, perhaps confusing us and the reader even though we knew how it all must end, has now led to a satisfying conclusion."
So how does a writer know when and where to end her story? Burnett says to use "pure instinct"—easier said than done. There are as many ways to end a story as there are to start one. If you want to learn how to end a story, the best thing to do is study examples. (You knew I was going to say that, didn't you?) But there are at least three basic problems that you'll want to avoid:
The story that simply stops
You don't want the ending of your story to send an editor back to the envelope in search of more pages, scratching his head and wondering if he dropped part of the manuscript on the subway that morning.
Usually, when a story seems to "stop" rather than "end," it's because the story lacks a sense of resolution, of wholeness. The reader doesn’t feel like she's "gotten anywhere." She wonders what the point is.
It's useful to think of your story as making a set of "promises" to the reader. Have you raised any questions or issues that you've failed to answer? A good story does not trick or tease (at least not simply for the sake of tricking and teasing). A good story keeps its promises (which is another way of saying that a good story plays by the rules it establishes for itself).
You, as the author, will have to determine whether or not the logic of your story requires that you answer any particular question or address any particular issue. Unlike the average Hollywood movie, short stories usually aren't obligated by issues of plot so much as by issues of character.
For example, if Mr. Moody's story ends with his sinking into a tar pit, it's not necessarily true that the story is obligated to tell the reader whether Mr. Moody lives or dies. However, if the reader is denied some understanding of the effect of the story's events on Mr. Moody, she will surely walk away feeling cheated.
Too much falling action
"Falling action" (also known as the resolution, or denouement) is the part of a narrative that comes after the climax, after the story's main problems have been solved—those sometimes leisurely pages where the author ties up any remaining loose strings.
As Rust Hills points out in his chapter entitled "Ending," most short stories (unlike novels) don't require much detail about what happens "afterwards." Once you've done what you need to do, don't linger. Get out of the story.
Still, sometimes we don't seem to know when enough is enough. Maybe we become attached to the worlds of our stories and don't want to leave. Maybe we're worried the reader hasn't gotten the point. Or maybe we're just putting off the daunting task of starting a new story.
Whatever the case, the problem of too much falling action is usually easy to fix. At STORY, we frequently suggested that authors snip a line or a paragraph off the end of their stories, sometimes an entire scene. More often than not, the ending was in there somewhere; it was just buried.
The atomic-bomb ending
Perhaps no part of a story invites melodrama so much as the climax (which, in contemporary stories, usually falls near the end). You want this moment to have the maximum possible impact on your reader, but the line between "maximum impact" and "fatal impact" is sometimes hard to judge.
An ending that's too "light" (one that doesn't capitalize on the story's dramatic and thematic potential) can leave a reader disappointed, not quite satisfied. But an ending that's too "hard" (melodramatic, over the top) can do even more damage, leaving a reader in disbelief, turned off, disgusted.
Err on the side of restraint. Don't treat your ending like it's your last chance to drive home the point of the story. If the rest of your story has been doing its fair share of the work, the ending needn't detonate a bomb in order to succeed.
From the Extended Short Story Writing Workshop: The (Last) Most Important Part of Your Story
In truth, the ending of your story is no more important than the beginning or middle, but it is the part a reader will mostly likely remember. It's also the part where the reader finds out if the story holds together, where he learns if its parts have (to use Rust Hills's definition) "worked effectively together harmoniously to comprise the story's whole meaning."
In Fiction Writer's Handbook (Harper & Row, 1975) former STORY editors Hallie and Whit Burnett write: "In our ending, the key moment of our story, all the events and emotions and characters that have gone before will be seen to have had significance. Even if this is not recognized by the character experiencing the drama, we, as author, must now reveal what we have understood and known all along. That conflict in those series of encounters which created our suspense and seemed to lead in contradictory directions, perhaps confusing us and the reader even though we knew how it all must end, has now led to a satisfying conclusion."
So how does a writer know when and where to end her story? Burnett says to use "pure instinct"—easier said than done. There are as many ways to end a story as there are to start one. If you want to learn how to end a story, the best thing to do is study examples. (You knew I was going to say that, didn't you?) But there are at least three basic problems that you'll want to avoid:
The story that simply stops
You don't want the ending of your story to send an editor back to the envelope in search of more pages, scratching his head and wondering if he dropped part of the manuscript on the subway that morning.
Usually, when a story seems to "stop" rather than "end," it's because the story lacks a sense of resolution, of wholeness. The reader doesn’t feel like she's "gotten anywhere." She wonders what the point is.
It's useful to think of your story as making a set of "promises" to the reader. Have you raised any questions or issues that you've failed to answer? A good story does not trick or tease (at least not simply for the sake of tricking and teasing). A good story keeps its promises (which is another way of saying that a good story plays by the rules it establishes for itself).
You, as the author, will have to determine whether or not the logic of your story requires that you answer any particular question or address any particular issue. Unlike the average Hollywood movie, short stories usually aren't obligated by issues of plot so much as by issues of character.
For example, if Mr. Moody's story ends with his sinking into a tar pit, it's not necessarily true that the story is obligated to tell the reader whether Mr. Moody lives or dies. However, if the reader is denied some understanding of the effect of the story's events on Mr. Moody, she will surely walk away feeling cheated.
Too much falling action
"Falling action" (also known as the resolution, or denouement) is the part of a narrative that comes after the climax, after the story's main problems have been solved—those sometimes leisurely pages where the author ties up any remaining loose strings.
As Rust Hills points out in his chapter entitled "Ending," most short stories (unlike novels) don't require much detail about what happens "afterwards." Once you've done what you need to do, don't linger. Get out of the story.
Still, sometimes we don't seem to know when enough is enough. Maybe we become attached to the worlds of our stories and don't want to leave. Maybe we're worried the reader hasn't gotten the point. Or maybe we're just putting off the daunting task of starting a new story.
Whatever the case, the problem of too much falling action is usually easy to fix. At STORY, we frequently suggested that authors snip a line or a paragraph off the end of their stories, sometimes an entire scene. More often than not, the ending was in there somewhere; it was just buried.
The atomic-bomb ending
Perhaps no part of a story invites melodrama so much as the climax (which, in contemporary stories, usually falls near the end). You want this moment to have the maximum possible impact on your reader, but the line between "maximum impact" and "fatal impact" is sometimes hard to judge.
An ending that's too "light" (one that doesn't capitalize on the story's dramatic and thematic potential) can leave a reader disappointed, not quite satisfied. But an ending that's too "hard" (melodramatic, over the top) can do even more damage, leaving a reader in disbelief, turned off, disgusted.
Err on the side of restraint. Don't treat your ending like it's your last chance to drive home the point of the story. If the rest of your story has been doing its fair share of the work, the ending needn't detonate a bomb in order to succeed.
Downloading video clips -- I tried this and couldn't get it to work
Downloading clips from Google Video
Lifehacker.org describes how to escape out of URL encoding withn query string parameters to download clips from Google Video instead of streaming them in the embedded Flash player:
Go to Google Video and find a video.
View the page source code and search for the keyword ‘googleplayer‘
Copy and paste the videoUrl parameter (all of the characters after the keyword ‘videoUrl=’)
Press Ctrl-L to go to URL location bar. Type Javascript:unescape(”videoUrl”) where videoUrl should be the last parameter you have copied into the clipboard.
It should output the actual URL on the broswer, copy and paste that URL onto your browser location bar again to download the FLV movie.
Play it with a FLV Player.
This works in both Firefox and IE, and is hacky enough to be useful from time to time. And Google's safe - being in the source code, the key info's pretty safeguarded from programmatic access, whi
Lifehacker.org describes how to escape out of URL encoding withn query string parameters to download clips from Google Video instead of streaming them in the embedded Flash player:
Go to Google Video and find a video.
View the page source code and search for the keyword ‘googleplayer‘
Copy and paste the videoUrl parameter (all of the characters after the keyword ‘videoUrl=’)
Press Ctrl-L to go to URL location bar. Type Javascript:unescape(”videoUrl”) where videoUrl should be the last parameter you have copied into the clipboard.
It should output the actual URL on the broswer, copy and paste that URL onto your browser location bar again to download the FLV movie.
Play it with a FLV Player.
This works in both Firefox and IE, and is hacky enough to be useful from time to time. And Google's safe - being in the source code, the key info's pretty safeguarded from programmatic access, whi