Saturday, December 15, 2007

Early Warning Signs of an Abuser

*Makes fun of you in public saying he's only "joking"

*Insist on being exclusive early on *Insist on knowing your darkest secrets right away

*Spilling his guts to you right away

*Plays the "wounded puppy" card. (i.e. "All my ex's were evil! And I'm so scared to get hurt again.")

*Says no one has ever "understood" him as well as you

*Calls an ex-girlfriend "crazy" or "a bitch" *Says he hasn't been with a woman in a long time and you are the first he has been interested in

*Comes over when you say you're busy

*Calling repeatedly

*Expresses jealousy early on

*Asks many questions about your sexual history

*Invades your privacy: going through your purse/drawers

*Checks your caller id/asnwering machine

*Demands knowing where you are if you say no to a date

*He likes you because you seem "feisty"

*Interrupts you often

*Seems too eager to please

*Tickles/wrestles when you keep telling him to stop

*Doesn't talk much about his family or his past

*Doesn't talk about himself much.

*Still lives with his mother at an inappropriate age and she seems controlling or passive.

*Wants sex or other affection way too early

*Gives your friends 3rd degree each time he sees them

*Doesn't care if you're too tired to go out/talk/have sex

*Laughs at things not appropriate to laugh about

*Changes moods easily

*Doesn't let you hang around his friends much, if at all (because he may need to tell them how 'crazy' you are later)

*Paranoid you're going out with someone else

*Says he doesnt get along with members of his family.


***5 or more characteristics = High risk of abuse***

You may believe that you will never be a victim of such abuse, you may believe that you are too strong to be a victim. I know I did. But, there is a myth that bullies and abusers target the weak, in my experience the opposite is true, bullies and abusers will target you to make you as weak as they are.

No comments: