Saturday, February 10, 2007

A message from Cult of James

So there I was, lovelorn and lonely, when suddenly true love came knocking at my computer's door. It wore a curious disguise -- its subject line read "my destiny boot considerate coward technetium inexcusable whirlwind calvary comply belly optimism oxen trauma bloke aerobacter" -- and it concealed itself cleverly in my Junk Mail box, like Cyrano hiding in the shadows. But I can't resist any message that promises both an "inexcusable whirlwind" and a good dose of "oxen trauma," so curiosity got the best of me. Thank the heavens, too, because one look at the tender words within, and I knew my days of tearful bachelorhood were over, at long last...What's upI am going to s.tay in the USA some timemay be we can meet each other and have some nice timeor may be more. I am looking forward to getting your messageto my personal email brave@realmeet.info.I will reply with a pictureI am nice girlLDo nqot dreply to this meSssage. WriteW to me direJctly.stabile kilohm pollux bluebush detent otiose officemate squalid wainscot advertise pedestrian libreville battlefront bedridden sinusoidal flatulent matrimony strata submitted sanskrit chert amber laymen bernhard tundra britten cenozoic aida lakehurst dichotomous indefensible bounce arrack Did you catch the hidden message? How could this magnificent mama-jama from abroad have known how long I've craved the comforts of flatulent matrimony? And could she be any more honest and open? "I am nice girl." Like I need to know anything more!The great singer-songwriter Kim Carnes once wrote that "love comes from the most unexpected places." Never did I fully appreciate the wisdom of those words until today. Where will you find your true love? Will it be in an otiose officemate (that means "lazy co-worker"; I had to look it up because my lover's vocabulary is like, way more advanced than mine) or beneath a squalid wainscot (rotting wood paneling)? Wherever it is, I hope it brings you as much joy as I am feeling right now! I'm a regular Cenozoic Aida (look it up for yourself)!
posted by Cult of James at 3:48 PM 0 comments

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